deleted/please ignore/deleted wrong post

[Dallas_Lady]

None of my siblings were able to attend my college graduation. I just didn't have enough tickets. It was long and boring anyway, they had more fun playing video games at home.

Though, I do see your point. There seem to be two unaccounted for tickets. Why isn't he giving those to your daughters? Has anyone asked him that?

 

[Jaybird79]

When my brother graduated from University he only got 4 tickets. He asked my dad, stepmom (which made me mad because she was new to our family), grandmother and his girlfriend to attend. At first I was sad to be left out, but then I realized that its his day and I wasn't going to be all upset and make him feel bad for his decision. Its hard, but maybe celebrate someway afterwards all together. Video the ceremony for the girls, its the next best thing. As for explaining to the girls, tell them its not about who they are in relation to him, that its because there simply wasn't enough tickets.

 

[a1tinkfans]

Okay, I will try to be brief. I know this has nothing to do with Disney, but I know you guys will help. My stepson is graduating this weekend and he only gets a set number of tickets to give out. He is only giving us 2 and there are 4 of us. Myself, dh, and our 2 girls (his half sisters). Our girls don't understand why they cannot go and frankly I am a little upset about it. His mom is not married so that is only one for her. He only has one set of grandparents so that is 2 more. So, should anyone else be more important than his own sisters? If I am overracting tell me, but I am having a hard time explaining to them why they cannot see their brother graduate. They don't see the difference in half brother or not, to them and to me he is their brother. There have many things lately that he has done to us that seem to exclude us in his life also, but that is a different story. I just don't know how to feel. On one hand, I feel like not attending because it will hurt my girls, but if I don't go, it will hurt him. I feel like nobobdy wins here. How should I handle this? Sometimes I think it is way harder being a stepmom than an mom. I am both, and I can tell you that stepmom is harder most of the time.

Yeah, actually I DO think you're overreacting. MOST schools give out only limited tickets, appears that your reaction is more about "he seems to exclude you lately" then tTHIS ticket issue here.
Why not just give him the benefit of the doubt here that he would have invited EVERYONE if he could and it just so happens that this time, he can't! Besides, have you never got a wedding or party invite without kids included and it is disappointing, somethings are not within our control.
I say, go, CELEBRATE his accomplishment with a smile, your girls need not feel he "stiffed" them unless you make it sound/act that way.
I do wish you luck though!

 

[Darcy03231]

When my stepson graduated he was given 2 tickets. That was all every graduating senior got. His mom and dad went. No extras for siblings, grandparents, step-parents, ect. Unfortunately space is limited at many of these kind of events. Now the high school has been split (our town built a new one) and graduation is held at a local arena so the kids can have as many tickets as they need. My stepdaughter graduated last year and she got about 20 tickets.

 

[Taja]

Be sure to discuss date/time of the family party with your DSS. Remember, he'll be out celebrating with his friends! No matter how much we love our families, at that age, we tend to come first! *LOL*

I was lucky--only my parents and one aunt were able to attend my HS graduation, so I could give my extra ticket to my BFF so her grandmother could attend. Another friend also had an extra ticket, so her father was able to attend (BFF is part of a blended family). And my parents planned a party for family and friends (who all knew one another pretty well) for the weekend after graduation--not the weekend of graduation. They were pretty sure the new graduates would be doing a bit a celebrating on their own! *LOL*

 

[pamjb]

My son is graduating high school from a class of nearly 800. The ceremonies are held at a local college (and have been since I graduated from the same HS back in the Dark Ages). Each senior gets 4 tickets. We are able to get additional. But I know my bonehead 18 year old wouldn't think of it.

His 14 year old brother is begging to get out of going

 

[PEANUT1]

He got 7 tickets and they raffled for 2 more each and he didn't put his name in the raffle. Maybe he is just being a brainless teenager, but his sisters are really upset, this is my main problem.

I am meaning no disrespect...but honestly I don't see why 2 little girls need to go to the graduation. Are you sure that its not you that is more upset than them. I can't imagine being upset about this at that young age.

I remember when my brother graduated college, this was an issue. There is not much to do about it. I think the adults should go above the kids. Just my opinion. I hope you resolve things and can enjoy the graduation.

 

[aribelle]

Haven't read all the answers, so someone may have suggested this....but if it's truly important to your daughters to see their brother graduate, perhaps you could give your two tickets to them and have the grandparents take them? I know that means you don't get to go, but it would be more important to me to make sure the girls are happy. And frankly, I'd be a bit miffed at him so I'm not sure I would enjoy it. Have the girls take a camera (disposable if they're not ready for the responsibility of a good camera).

I would probably also call him and point tell him how upset his sisters are not to see him graduate, and ask him how many tickets he got. Then suggest that if he has any friends who won't be using all of theirs, to try to get some....otherwise his sisters will be going and you and dad won't be going. And yes, quite often friends may not have relatives in the area that will go, so they only need mom/dad tickets (at least that's happened at the grads we've gone to and needed more tickets).

After that, I'd say let it go. Graduation is a big deal this month....but to be honest, a few months from now, this single day will not carry the same importance that it feels right NOW. Kinda like a wedding......all the brides get so worked up about this single day.....when afterwards they realize that it was just a day....a great day, a special day, but just a day in their married life. And the imporant days are the every day living days.

If you aren't all able to go to graduation, ask him if he'd stop by so you can take photos in his cap and gown....if not the day of (it's hectic and he's still in that "it's the important day" mode so don't push)....then how about next weekend, have him come over, show off his cap/gown and diploma. Take him to dinner, or have the girls prepare a special dinner in his honor. For fun, check the internet, especially places like familyfun.com for special graduation shaped desserts or appetizer, or other things to make it special. Make your own memories!

And then work in the coming months to keep him a part of your lives even as he's pulling away as all young adults tend to do. Don't take it personally, it's just a part of growing up....he sees other things, new things, exciting things, as "uber important" right now, and doesn't really see that he's leaving others behind in those pursuits. But he will, so long as nothing happens to spoil that relationship. It'll be different now, but no reason for it to be destroyed.

Good luck to him....life is gonna get exciting now!

 

[Rylee]

Okay, I will try to be brief. I know this has nothing to do with Disney, but I know you guys will help. My stepson is graduating this weekend and he only gets a set number of tickets to give out. He is only giving us 2 and there are 4 of us. Myself, dh, and our 2 girls (his half sisters). Our girls don't understand why they cannot go and frankly I am a little upset about it. His mom is not married so that is only one for her. He only has one set of grandparents so that is 2 more. So, should anyone else be more important than his own sisters? If I am overracting tell me, but I am having a hard time explaining to them why they cannot see their brother graduate. They don't see the difference in half brother or not, to them and to me he is their brother. There have many things lately that he has done to us that seem to exclude us in his life also, but that is a different story. I just don't know how to feel. On one hand, I feel like not attending because it will hurt my girls, but if I don't go, it will hurt him. I feel like nobobdy wins here. How should I handle this? Sometimes I think it is way harder being a stepmom than an mom. I am both, and I can tell you that stepmom is harder most of the time.

Hi,

I hope this doesn't seem mean, but honestly, I'm just writing the first thing that pop in my head...

I'm sure being a step-parent is hard, am I'm sure you're doing your best, but...

I read through this entire thread, and saw your other responses, but the first thing that jump right out at me, I read in your very first post...

Your user name is MOMMYAOF2 and you have 2 children in your signature. That's cool, as you've mentioned he has never lived with you, but trying to look at it from your step-son's point of view... is it possible he is the one that feels left out, at times?

Also, about your children helping to plan a celebration... If you aren't already planning to do so... You and/or your DH, should be planning some sort of celebration for his son, (a nice dinner with your girls included, or a party for your and your DH's side of the family) or offering to help pay for his graduation party.

Forget about the tickets, and you should definitely attend, or it might cause a riff between you, that will last far longer than his graduation ceremony.

 

[sk!mom]

Hi,

I hope this doesn't seem mean, but honestly, I'm just writing the first thing that pop in my head...

I'm sure being a step-parent is hard, am I'm sure you're doing your best, but...

I read through this entire thread, and saw your other responses, but the first thing that jump right out at me, I read in your very first post...

Your user name is MOMMYAOF2 and you have 2 children in your signature. That's cool, as you've mentioned he has never lived with you, but trying to look at it from your step-son's point of view... is it possible he is the one that feels left out, at times?

Also, about your children helping to plan a celebration... If you aren't already planning to do so... You and/or your DH, should be planning some sort of celebration for his son, (a nice dinner with your girls included, or a party for your and your DH's side of the family) or offering to help pay for his graduation party.

Forget about the tickets, and you should definitely attend, or it might cause a riff between you, that will last far longer than his graduation ceremony.

This is almost exactly what I was going to post. Maybe he feels left out and like a step-child.

I, also, think that your young girls are upset because you are. At that age my children might have been upset if the saw me upset and causing a fuss but if I presented it positively- "You're going to go (insert something fun) with (insert someone fun) while dad and I go to this adult function and then we'll have a party for everyone." - my children would have been fine.

I'm feeling sorry for the graduate- caught in the middle of a situation that he didn't ask to be in.

 

[sk!mom]

I would probably also call him and point tell him how upset his sisters are not to see him graduate, and ask him how many tickets he got. Then suggest that if he has any friends who won't be using all of theirs, to try to get some....otherwise his sisters will be going and you and dad won't be going. And yes, quite often friends may not have relatives in the area that will go, so they only need mom/dad tickets (at least that's happened at the grads we've gone to and needed more tickets).

Come on- he's a kid- don't ruin his graduation with unnecessary drama. If his relationship with his sisters isn't such that he would have immediatly given them tickets then that isn't his fault. He's only now entering adulthood.

It has been the responsibility of the adults to build relationships. If that sibling relationship hasn't been built then don't blame him.

Of course, I agree that this might be a lot of drama about nothing. He may feel that he's doing his sisters a favor by letting them out of going.

 

[PrincessBride010103]

my brother was 14 when I graduated and he was bored out of his mind...he begged not to go!

 

[mommyaof2]

Thanks to all of you who have posted. I can't respond to each and everyone one of you so here are my thoughts. My girls are not going to the ceremony. They did not know that I was upset. They are actually the ones that came to me and asked why they couldn't go. I never acted out my frustration in front of them. I would not do that. I bite my tongue tons and tons of times when it comes to my stepson just so that everyone is happy. Also, another poster implied that my signature only has 2 children listed. Well, yes that is true because he has never vacationed with us because his mother is a jerk and would not let him. That is the only reason he is not in my signature because this board is about Disney trips and he has never been on any vacation with us. His mother never even gave my husband a Christmas or a holiday weekend with him. We would always ask for extra time and extra time always = money with her. But, all of that is a different story. I have never made him feel like a "stepchild" so to speak, so to the posters that have thought this, I am sorry you feel this way because that is just not true. I truely do love him the best way I know how. At this point the graduation is tonight so I have to go get ready. But, my girls are fine and we are trying to plan a dinner for him on Sunday. He has not given us the okay on this yet because he doesn't know what he will be doing then. If his mom is having a celebration, we would not be invited. Like I said before she has never worked with us and for no reason. Again I appreciate all of the heartfelt responses I have gotten from all of you. I will let all of you know how everything goes. Thanks again!

 

[mommyaof2]

Oh and a few more things I just thought of. Someone else suggested letting the grandparents take our girls, well my dh's parents are deceased, so the grandparents are his mother's parents. My dh doesn't really have a side of the family, it is just the four of us and he has a brother out of state. I also want to make sure that everyone knows that my stepson and my dds, do not even know I was upset. So, I have not ruined anyones day or hurt any feelings. I really am not upset anymore. I am over it after reading everything you guys have written. That is exactly why I posted here, so that if I was way out of line, you guys would kick me back in. Thanks again!

 

[mommyaof2]

Well, everything went great! We got some really great pictures. My dds are absolutely fine. They really would have been bored to tears. I had forgotten how long and boring graduations are. We are having a small get together for him on Sunday. Like I said, he never knew I was upset and everything is fine. I am going to let my dds make him cards tomorrow. Now I just have to decide what in the world to cook! I asked him what he wanted and he said whatever I wanted to make. So, I am so glad that I did not make a big deal about this. I am glad I stopped by the DIS first and set everything straight. Thanks again guys.

 

[sandiegosusie]

I am really happy that everything worked out. I am divorced, now remarried...my youngest son is graduating in two weeks and he is moving to Colorado to live with his Dad a few days after graduation. My husband and I are throwing him a graduation party on Sunday also. I am hosting 60 people!

It is really hard letting go...I just have to say it sounds like you handled things great! Have a great weekend! Here's to parenthood!!

Also, my signature states that I am only a Mom of two. I just happen to have grown-up boys that are not Disney fanatics like their Mom! So I understand your signature perfectly! My boys have traveled with us, but prefer not to now!

 

[Rylee]

Well, everything went great! We got some really great pictures. My dds are absolutely fine. They really would have been bored to tears. I had forgotten how long and boring graduations are. We are having a small get together for him on Sunday. Like I said, he never knew I was upset and everything is fine. I am going to let my dds make him cards tomorrow. Now I just have to decide what in the world to cook! I asked him what he wanted and he said whatever I wanted to make. So, I am so glad that I did not make a big deal about this. I am glad I stopped by the DIS first and set everything straight. Thanks again guys.

I'm glad it all went well. Have fun on Sunday.

 

[smidgy]

Ask your stepson to talk to his sisters and explain that he couldn't include everyone though he really wanted to.

My son is "graduating" from middle school in a couple of weeks and we were given 3 tickets to the ceremony. Rather than choosing a single grandparent or relative to attend, we gave our third ticket to one of his friends and told the family that we only had 2 tickets. Someone was bound to be upset if we asked maternal grandma but excluded paternal grandma.

I can't beleive no one quoted THIS post! this has to be the BEST example of "SOLOMON" ...or.. "going along to get along" GREAT job of avoiding a sticky situation and making sure everyone was happy... kudos to you!!!


as to the rest; there are many situations where little children really don't belong . graduations are BORING!!!! and HOT!!! wedding receptions come to mind. at our wedding reception (many, many eons ago) our response card stated "# of ADULTS attending" yeah, we got flack over that one.

I'm glad it all worked out. a barbeque in his honor from "your side of the family" sounds appropriate.

 

[ISP2MCO]

Glad everything worked out fine. Have a great time on Sunday!

 

[Stephres]

I was reading along even though I didn't have any advice regarding steps. I am so glad it all worked out. Your daughters will have a much better time with him at a get together and it sounds perfect. You did a great job not letting your feelings known: I know how hard that is!