Dear Friend of mine needs advice.** updated**

[mudnuri]

I'll try to make this as short as possible, but bear with me.

A close friend of mine, (grew up together)...has a daughter of the same age as my DD8...Today she gets a call from the director of the summer day camp....she needs to talk to my friend re: something of importance, but nothing serious. (like a serious injury etc.)

So, she goes to the camp, and the director says (now this is 2nd hand, so if it sounds wrong forgive me)...Susie was overheard at lunchtime today have a very "graffic" converstaion with the other girls...

in the end- what has happened, after she talked to her daughter, with much explaining that NOTHING she did was wrong, she was NOT in trouble etc...

This childs cousin- at one point in time, probably fairly recently, was playing house with her. the boy is 9 1/2.. the boy was the dad, she was the mom. They had "sex"....now digging deeper- sex consisted of the boy laying on top of the girl, and kissing her. (mouth closed).... She also said he "touched her privates" but she had her undies, and shorts ON... She said she "did not touch him yet" (I questioned that yet...???)

Anyway, she explained that mom needs to know this, its NOT okay, its HER body, nobody can touch it, it's not healthy, etc. etc.. Her husband, is/did go to his brothers house, to discuss this with the father of the cousin. She called her mother in law, who said, let him go talk to his brother, if the SIL wants to talk to her thats fine, but let the boys deal with this.

I'm not sure what has happened with this, as I wont talk to her until tomorrow morning...but

Is there anything else she should do? Her daughter told her that she doesnt want her father to know (shes embarrased I'd guess) however, her dad does know...???

Oh- the little girl said- " I didnt tell you becaues you'd be mad, and "tommy said he would beat me up if I told you"...

My heart breaks for this little girl, I can only imagine how livid, upset, distraught both DH and I would be if we got this news...

Pixie dust for this little girls heart, as I'm sure it's a mess
********************updated********************

Well, so much for no new info tonight! I think she needed to vent again! Her husband is still at his brothers, so it must be going 'ok'...

She said more than once, that the older cousin- the boys brother, is 13, and has girlfriends etc... its possible that this younger one listens to him and his friends?

She said her daughter went to bed okay tonight, she asked her mom once again if she was "sure your not mad at me"...and she just kept telling her that she did nothing wrong, and the only thing she is upset is that she did not tell her immediatly, and how important it is. that this is NOT a secret that is okay.. etc...

I sure hope this turns around quickly, and if that the cousins parents dont say too much....she doesnt even want her dad to know...what if the rest of the cousins find out?

Brandy

 

[kasar]

Your friend was right to go to the source and find out exactly what happened. Honestly, from what I've read here it sounds like innocent 8 year old curiosity. It does need to be addressed and the kids need to know what's appropriate but I don't think I'd make a huge deal out of it (why is mommy freaking out so much? Maybe I should explore more?) If it's something more than "house" then they should explore further.

I'd also make sure to supervise those two a little more closely!

 

[WillyJ]

I think the best thing the parents can do is to find a way to let the little girl know that it's not in her best interest to do things like that at her age without laying a big guilt trip on her. . .


The thing that bothers me the most is the little boy threatening to "beat her up" if she told anyone. . . I would hope the boys parents adress that in the strongest of terms, and cousin or no, I not let her alone with him again. . .


Good luck to your friend Brandy; I hope things go well for all concerned. .