DD's name & family vent

[KPeterso]

I kind of think you are making too big a deal. My name is Kristin. I introduce myself as such, but am called Kris all the time. I really don't care. When I was born, my Mom made it clear to my Grandmas that my name was Kristin, Kris, or Kristi. Not Krissy. My Grandmas walked in when I was 1 day old and started saying "Oh our little Krissy." My Mom said it grated on her nerves, but she got over it. There were other things to worry about, and she knew they called me that with love. We have cousins that call me that a lot to this day. only close family gets away with it, as it grates on my nerves too, but I know they all call me that with love and affection, and I would never think to correct them. I would also take any day being called Krissy by my Grandmas to have them back. My parents feel the same way. When I was about 8 and corrected someone to call me Kristin, my parents swore they would never call me that again. I am their little Kris to this day.

 

[bear74]

for dealing with people who won't respect your wishes. I have gotten to the point where if somebody I know calls me Jenny I ignore them. If its someone new I will correct them and say my name is Jennifer not Jenny or Jen.

Because I do not like it when people shorten my name I tried to give my oldest DD a name that could not be shortened. My 2nd DD's name could be but no one has tried yet. I don't care for people shortening or changing someone elses name. I will call DD's princess or pumpkin every now and then.

 

[MiniGirl]

Interesting thread. Both of my girls have classic, some would say old-fashioned, names. My oldest is Elaine, and no shortened nicknames have stuck. My youngest is Josephine, and she is Josie (which sometimes gets shortened to Jos or even Jo). I don't really mind her name getting shortened. I am more bothered that they pronounce the name with a "Z" sound instead of an "S" sound. I like Jo-C better than Jo-Z. However, none of it has ever bugged me enough to correct people.

 

[allison443]

Over the years I have met a few kids with "rhyming names" like Allie O'Malley (real name Allison) and I wondered didn't their parents think of that when they were naming them? Now I see that you did think of it but are going to try to avoid it.
I do think your own family should respect you on this issue since obviously it matters a great deal to you. Really, they are not being nice about it. Now in the future I don't think you should be as upset with a coach, occasional teacher, etc. who may call your child by a nickname occasionally. Also your child may prefer a nickname-I know one of mine did. At some point you have to let them choose.

 

[Imtink2]

…Are you willing to follow through and deny them access to your family over this?...

I didn’t say that I would deny anyone access to anyone else. Others have commented that they might choose that course of action, but not me.

 

[crisi]

Over the years I have met a few kids with "rhyming names" like Allie O'Malley (real name Allison) and I wondered didn't their parents think of that when they were naming them? Now I see that you did think of it but are going to try to avoid it.
I do think your own family should respect you on this issue since obviously it matters a great deal to you. Really, they are not being nice about it. Now in the future I don't think you should be as upset with a coach, occasional teacher, etc. who may call your child by a nickname occasionally. Also your child may prefer a nickname-I know one of mine did. At some point you have to let them choose.

Some people do it on purpose. Had an acquaintance whose mother was so proud of her daughter's rhyming name - she thought it was clever - her daughter loved it too.

And everyone went to school with one kid with a name like Jack Frost.

 

[allison443]

And everyone went to school with one kid with a name like Jack Frost.

We do know a Jack Frost!!

 

[crisi]

I didn’t say that I would deny anyone access to anyone else. Others have commented that they might choose that course of action, but not me.

What I'm saying is that you have three choices.

1. Let it go
2. Fight it - and put up with the aggravation for a long time - you cannot change their behavior - you've already asked them and its done no good.
3. Stop dealing with them.

I'd do the first. I would not do the third over a name to my immediate inlaws (but my extended family - yep - my kids don't need second cousins that badly). I - personally - would find the second the least acceptable of the options, however. I don't need that sort of aggravation in my life. But those are my choices, not yours.

Many of the suggestions here are on how to fight it. But I think they are all variations of you amusing your inlaws by beating your head against a wall. Then again, I don't know your inlaws. You are not presenting them as reasonable people who will respect your wishes - if they were, there would be no need for games, you would be able to simply ask them.

 

[hroyale]

This reminded me of a former co-worker's son that I met several years ago. His name was Nicholas. She always called him by the long name.

He as about 7 or 8 and came to visit at the office. One of my other co-workers gave a big smile, stuck out his hand and said "Hi, you must be Nick! Nice to meet you I'm John."

The kid did shake his hand but said in a very stern disapproving voice: "My name is Nicholas, not Nick. N-I-C-H-O-L-A-S. If my mother wanted me to be called Nick she would have named me that."

I guess she didn't mind him being impolite to adults though.

I'm voting with the "accept it" group. Not embrace it. Still use the name you intended. Don't hang any signs or embroidered blankets etc... with the nickname, but try to get used to the nickname now. It will come up again even if your family stops using it.

Congrats on the new baby.
Heather

 

[almburr]

I manage lifeguards in the summer and i shorten thier names when calling for help. Plus all thier friends use the same shortened names in sports. Tia=T, Teryn=Ter , Whitney=Whit, Sydney=Syd, Naomi=Nay, Forrest=Forr,

They dont have a problem with it they call each other by those shortend names. If you doing it to be mean and cause problems thats wrong.

 

[Nancyg56]

I think something like a shortening a name is small potatoes. If this is the worst thing you have to complain about I'd let it go. You use his given name, your husband uses his given name and as he gets a little older eh will decide which he prefers, but in the meantime your Il's love him.

My youngest is Daniel. I have never called him Dan or Danny, just Daniel He uses Daniel most times as well but no one gets their bloomers in a bunch if someone calls him Dan. No one ever calls him Danny but my husband. It was never a big deal and because I did not make it one, certainly not the hill I would die on. There was plenty of time for those dramas.

 

[fireflymedic]

I only read the first page, but I dont see how old the child is.

I think the best thing would be for the kid to tell the grandparents when they say the name is for her to say "thats not my name"

for sure every time they called her that in front of you YOU should say honey thats not your name now get in the car we have to go!

 

[crisi]

I only read the first page, but I dont see how old the child is.

I think the best thing would be for the kid to tell the grandparents when they say the name is for her to say "thats not my name"

for sure every time they called her that in front of you YOU should say honey thats not your name now get in the car we have to go!

When my daughter was eighteen months I called her by her name....her response...

"My name isn't ______, its Princess!"

 

[ilandrazdsw]

When my daughter was eighteen months I called her by her name....her response...

"My name isn't ______, its Princess!"

My DD3 does the same thing..."I'm not Angel, I'm Princess (whatever costume she is wearing)." At the parks CMs would greet her as Princess (in and out of costume) and she would say, "I'm not Princess, I'm Angel." I desperately tried to get her to understand why they were calling her princess and not be rude when she answered what her real name was...Of course the understanding came after we got home.

 

[3boymthr]

Yeah, this is why I named my kids with names that couldn't be shortened and no their names are not a nickname or shortened version of another name.

 

[dogluva]

My boys are Thomas and Daniel. They go by Thomas, Daniel, Tommy, Danny, Tom, Dan, Big T, Big D, and what ever else comes out of peoples' mouths. When they are asked, they don't really care. I don't care either. I knew going in that their names were going to be shortened, especially by my mother who loves nicknames. To her they are like terms of endearment. She even shortend my other son's name-Adam. She calls him Adsie.

 

[joolz1910]

This reminded me of a former co-worker's son that I met several years ago. His name was Nicholas. She always called him by the long name.

He as about 7 or 8 and came to visit at the office. One of my other co-workers gave a big smile, stuck out his hand and said "Hi, you must be Nick! Nice to meet you I'm John."

The kid did shake his hand but said in a very stern disapproving voice: "My name is Nicholas, not Nick. N-I-C-H-O-L-A-S. If my mother wanted me to be called Nick she would have named me that."

I guess she didn't mind him being impolite to adults though.


That must have endeared him to you all.

 

[nikkers]

I have not read through all of the replies. My name is Nichole, and my mother was very adamant that I would not be called Nikki. Same situation as yours, certain family members chose to anyway. Even though she asked them not to. I am 34, and the same family members still call me Nikki. Whatever?!? I was always Nichole growing up. In school teachers would ask if I preferred Nikki or Nichole? My parents never called me Nikki, and I have always intoduced myself as Nichole. To this day if someone calls me Nikki, I correct them. I agree the family members are being very inconciderate to you and your DH. I personally would ignore it. Especially if they are doing it on purpose. Maybe one day your child will put their foot down.

 

[WantToGoNow]

My son's name is Andrew. I was so hesitant to name him this because I HATE the name Andy (don't know why, I just do). As soon as he was born, my MIL and my father started calling him Andy. I corrected that right away and no one has called him that since. It doesn't matter if I call him buddy, bubby, or drewby at home, his name is Andrew and that's what he/we expect him to be addressed as. He asked one time if he could be Drew and I told him that was fine, but I did not want him to be Andy. He is 7.5 now and he's still Andrew.

 

[maxiesmom]

I only read the first page, but I dont see how old the child is.

I think the best thing would be for the kid to tell the grandparents when they say the name is for her to say "thats not my name"

for sure every time they called her that in front of you YOU should say honey thats not your name now get in the car we have to go!

So you would actually not see your relatives over the form of your child's name they use. That is a little bit drastic. Most people would not choose to cut themselves off from their family over something that, in the scheme of things, is a realatively minor issue.

I know exactly one person who goes by their given name. Out of all of my friends, family, and coworkers. Maybe it is just a regional thing, but around here, if someone calls you by your full name, it is because you are in trouble!