DD left in tears again.....

[lostinwonderland]

I don't see the point in telling her to right down the names of the people she wants ot be with if they are not going to make it happen, especially at that age as she would have probably taken that as a sign she would be in a class with them. So to her it may seem like they lied to her in a way.

As this is the second time this has happened I would try and talk to someone, especially as you know how it affected her last year, you don't want either of you to be worrying about it all summer.

I'd explain what happened last year with the nightmares and how reluctant she was to go to school and your concerns about the situation.

One of my main concerns would be her feeling left out. Especially if the majority of other people got the people on their list, that means they would be with their best friends but she would not be with her. I know people say she can see them at break and stuff, but with her best friends being together all the time she may not feel like it and again may feel left out.

People say they do not make lasting friendships at this age, but how are they supposed to when they are not given the opportunity?

 

[cstokell]

I don't see the point in telling her to right down the names of the people she wants ot be with if they are not going to make it happen.......

I think that what actually happened with this was that DD and her friends tried to be a little too clever and it back fired.

After a little more digging and the story coming out bit by bit, it appears that Jo-Ann and her friends thought that if they all put down a different combination of the same people, they would have to kept together. Unfortunatley for them this was not the case and they were split. ( A very clever group of 6 year olds, maybe too clever for their own good!!!!) The teacher say that they did try to keep each person with at least one of the people on their list as much as possible, but with Jo-Ann and her friends because the teachers wanted them split between the two classes it always left one with no-one on their list.

 

[tracipierce]

Hi Caroline,
I have just been told that this is going to happen to my DD too
She is in reception at the moment, and should be moving into y1 next term, but we have been told today that she is going to be put into y2. There is one other girl who is moving into y2 with her, but it is the one girl that my dd cannot stand! They constantly argue the minute they come into contact with each other.
I tried to appeal against it because my DD was so upset by it, but the teacher told me that lately they have had to send my DD out of the classroom with a classroom assistant because the work the rest of the class is doing is far too easy for her and she is either bored or answers all the questions, not giving the others a chance, she said that it was as much for my DD's benefit as it was for the other kids.
So I can't really argue with the logic, its nice that my daughter is doing so well with her school work, its just really hard for a 5 year old to understand, she feels like she is being punished. Like your daughter, she is very confident, so I'm hoping it won't be long before she settles in and makes new friends

 

[hildasmuriel]

She is in reception at the moment, and should be moving into y1 next term, but we have been told today that she is going to be put into y2.

Oooooh - do they have a long term plan for her? It may seem a good idea at the moment but they must think what will happen in the future. Will she always stay a year ahead? Will she change schools a year early, or will they make her repeat the last year of primary school?
I was moved up a year as a child so ended up doing Year 6 twice.
My son was moved up a year and ended up going to secondary school a year early. He is just 15 now but has just finshed his GCSEs. The whole idea of acceleration has a lot of long term implications. My son wants to return to 6th form, which is just as well as he is not legally old enough to leave school, even though he has finished his exams! As he has a May birthday he was nearly 2 years younger than some of the others in his class and when they hit puberty he seemed like a little boy to them. Some teachers didn't seem to realise he was a year younger and considered him a bit childish (which he was!) It has evened itself out now, but I just wanted you to be aware of things like this.

 

[tracipierce]

Hi!
Well I really hadn't thought that far ahead, although I do know of a friend's daughter who had to do y6 twice, I'm hoping that she might even out over the next couple of years, but to be honest I don't much like either option, I don't want her to have to repeat a year, and I can understand the problems your son has had with leaving school a year early! My DD 15 was put in the gifted and talented list so has taken some of her gcse's this year so that she can concentrate on the remaining ones next year, but they never mentioned that she could have taken them all this year, so maybe thats how it will pan out of my little DD? I'm sure it will turn out ok in the end (fingers crossed) Oh children,,, they are such a worry !!!

 

[barkley]

just wanted to share my experience with this type of situation. i'm not sure how large the classes are that your children will be in, but if it's a group of 25-30 children in one classroom-a tightly knit group of 5 girls can be a large percentage of your class. that being the case it can cause issues esp. if they are so tightly knitted that they operate as a group rather than as individuals. you can find that when group projects come up they will always work together, thereby never experiencing working with others who have different abilities and points of view-even if you as a teacher require that they split up and join other groups, it can be difficult on the members of those groups because of resentment on the part of the 'tight knitters'. if you try to keep them seated all apart from one another it can cause more problems if they are 'social' (as in chatty) because they can disturb the other children who are in between them and the rest of their 'group'. you can also see kids who were realy confident 'individuals' morph into kids whose entire basis of confidence is based on their group status or identity.

one of the things i've seen with girl 'groups'-even in the youngest ages is that there is often a kind of pecking order, that is often not apparant to the parents. there's one person with a realy strong personality and she can (for good or bad) shape the way the group behaves. because the girls like each other it's not always a problem-but sometimes a girl or two in the group would realy like to break away and explore other friendships-but if they are all in the same class, play together at school, after school...there's realy no opportunity to do so gracefully. i think that might be why they ask the kids to name a couple of people they want to be in class with-it gives those that would prefer not to be with the group the opportunity to name others in a manner that is hopefully handled with confidentiality.

not saying this is the situation with the op's daughter-but it seems like, despite the split she experienced last year she was able to develop some new and strong friendships with the students she was placed with. this would lead me to believe that despite some initial disappointment and upset at the new split, she could go on to quickly develop some friendships in the new split setting.