Trying this again....
I spent a long time writing my post yesterday, in between potty training, tantrums, water gun fights, and so on and so forth. I thought it was quite witty, and was bummed no one responded. Then today I come back to it, and it is gone. So angry! Not really angry but annoyed. Angry just sounds more emotional.
So let me see what I wrote. At the time I thought it was a good update with important things in it, but as I sit here in silence (the kids are with their mom today. Silence is rare around here!) nothing is coming to me, so let me babble.
I had another dream. It was the wedding day but once again, I woke up not realizing how much time had passed and freaked out that it was the wedding day. I tend to dream this a lot. I went to get ready, I opened the dress bag
and it was this silky, shiny, very, very low cut dress. There are two problems with this, ok, maybe more than 2: Main problem: not my dress. Problem 2: I don't wear silky things. They cling to the saddle bags and even Spanx would not work wonders on me in that dress. Problem 3: It was super low cut in the front (I am talking belly button) and I do not have bodacious ta tas. In the dream I did not want to wear that dress but that is all I had and I said I needed to wear a tank top to cover up my muffin top and small ta tas. People informed me tank tops were not appropriate under wedding dresses. That is all I remember about that dream.
Speaking of my dress, I would really like to wear it around the house, to the BBQ we are going to this weekend, to the store, everywhere. I love it and I am so happy I do. I did not realize there is no bustle so the seamstress has to make me one. She also has to take it in a lot in the side ta ta area but also put in some foam ta tas for me. I wonder when I should get the alterations done? I am hoping I will lose a ton of weight before the wedding but lately ice cream, brownies, bread and pizza and I have become BFFs so I don't see that happening. I went to the gym two weeks ago (I was going every day), then it got crazy with the kids, then on Sunday Bryan and I went for a 6 mile hike in the canyon which may not sound like a lot to people, but when you have not worked out and it is hotter than heck, it is not a good time. Today I was on the way to the gym when the realtor called saying there was a showing in 2 hours. I wondered if it was a sign not to work out. I went home instead of the gym but I cleaned, mopped the floor, vacuumed, etc. The house was super clean this weekend but when the boys got home, it all went downhill. When I finished cleaning I went to the gym. I almost forgot how to get there it had been so long. I only worked out for 30 minutes but hey, better than nothing. Is it bad when you see 200 calories burned and think, "I might just have two brownies tonight!"
Now onto the shoes. I believe I mentioned that the shoes I bought are basic flats. They look like ballet shoes and are comfortable. I had the dress shop dye them and they have some stains of dye on them where the dye formed circles. I am not happy about it, people tell me no one will see them, but I know they are there. I never can bring myself to complain to companies (I complain to friends and family all the time) but it was eating at me. I called them, they told me what happened, they said this was normal, but they will look at them. I ordered my veil from them and have to go get it when it comes in, so I will bring the shoes with me then. I have a feeling what looks like huge stains to me, will not be visible to the eye to the employees. Fingers crossed. Oh, and I am having issues because I went for plain, basic flats. I will never wear the shoes again, Bryan would be shorter than me with heels on (me wearing the heels, not him) and my dress would show my feet. Some of my bridesmaids have told me I need fun shoes-red or blue. Something jazzy with a heel. Am I lame for going plain? I do feel kind of lame since the dress is so beautiful and my shoes will be boring. I have thought about making something and putting it on a shoe clip to jazz them up. I don't know what to do. I see so many people with cool shoes, but I will never wear them again. Does it matter?
Speaking of veils, I had no feelings towards them. I did not have one in mind, I just knew I needed one. My mom was shocked I was not walking down the aisle with one over my face for my Dad to lift up and kiss. She said EVERYONE does that. Thankfully the employee at the store backed me up on that one saying no one really does that anymore. I tried on so many veils, I got zero emotion from each and every one of them. I finally let the employee pick it out. It killed me to pay $160 for a piece of tulle. I wanted to buy it online but I was afraid it would not match. Then my mom told me to get everything there. I got the slip and then went home and saw there are so many more cheaper ones online. It kills me knowing I could have saved lots of money. To add salt to the wound, my mom sent me pictures of her best friend's step daughter's wedding. Did you follow that? She went on and on about the place, and said if we were not getting married at Disney, we could have got married there. Um, Bryan got married there the first time. Was that what added salt to the wound? Nope...the bride was wearing the SAME veil I got ( I think) and I could have just borrowed it (and knocked out the something borrowed since I have NO idea what to borrow)
Changing the topic again: Back to the engagement dresses. I spent a ton of time this weekend on the search for the same dress I had to return. As I mentioned before, I found one I loved, was shocked it was a single digit size, and then I noticed it was ripped. I had to return it, and when I did the lady said "Someone must have put it on that should not be wearing this size." Bryan said he thought the same thing, and then I wondered WAS IT ME?! Did I rip it and not know? The lady in the store offered to order me another one as there was only a size 2 left. My right arm is not even a size 2. She showed it to me online, I said I had a free shipping coupon at home and would order it online. When I got home, it was nowhere to be found. I thought no problem, I will just go to other stores and look for it. I have, and no one has it. One store up north had it in a 2 so I took it to the counter and I asked her if she could order it for me like the other lady at the other store offered to do. She scanned it in and something else silky came up when the dress is not silky. So frustrating. I even went to another store today and they did not have any in stock. Did I love the dress? I liked it, but the fact that I can't have it makes me want it more. I did find another dress I liked, of course they only had small and XXL so I called a ton of stores trying to find it, no luck. The dress was not online, and the lady in one of the store told me there was one up north in my size. It was on my way to where we were going for the 4th, so I stopped by and there was one left. Wahoo! I am not in love with it, I just feel accomplished! I went to Kohls today and bought me some faux Spanx. I tried them all on in the dressing room and they really do not do that much to suck me in. I got a beige/pinkish color and I need to try them on with the dresses to see if it will work. Fingers crossed! I bought a pair of shoes for the blue dress that cost more than the dress, and I will probably never wear again. But they are cute. I am not a shoe person. I own black and brown shoes, that is it. Usually if I like I shoe I will buy one pair in black, and one in brown. So for me to buy white, blue, tan, etc shoes for one dress is weird. They better look cute in the pictures. Bryan is going to be so short next to me so I wonder if the photographer can bring him some lifts, or do shots where maybe I am just far behind him so he looks taller?
I can't believe I leave next week for our planning session. Time is flying by. I wonder how people on here have planning sessions when they are not getting married for over a year. I thought you could only do it 6 months prior. Or is that just when the prices are guaranteed? It makes me wonder! I really hope I do not die from heat there. I do not do well in heat, let alone heat with humidity. I can just see my makeup running down my face in our pictures. I am looking forward to our planning session. I am bummed that Franck will still be in rehab until 3 days after our planning session. It probably does not matter but it would be nice to see it. They say to have things prepared like pictures of cake, flowers, etc. I have nothing. I know I want the mad hatter cake, we already picked out the table linens, we have a tentative menu, tentative flowers, etc. Not sure what else we really need to think about. I keep having Maxine add things like I have the money for it. Round trip transportation? Sure! Throw it in there? Classic car? Why not! Add it on. Another park on the bridal shoot day? Why not? I am shocked I have not told her to add the coach in. I have not really thought about it. I am hoping it will just be sitting there waiting for me to have a picture with it. Doubtful, but I can dream. I thought I was going to come in way under budget since the budget they gave me was for 80 and I thought 65 max would come. Well, over 80 are coming now. Trying to breathe. I am grateful they are coming but worried about costs. We will see what happens.
The other day Bryan said, "6 months until we get married!" It was cute, but it was supposed to be 5 months. The ticker to the wedding is exciting but it also causes me to want to breathe into a paper bag. Once we hit the 5 month mark, the next day it goes to something like 4 months and 4 weeks. I will never understand that. How did we get into the single digits? Didn't he just propose? We have not even been dating a year yet (I know, it happened fast) so it is odd that we are getting married in 5ish months when we have not been together a year. I just want to enjoy being engaged, dating, etc. but with kids, we don't get to do that that often. Hopefully the Disney trip will be a nice break.
I know I had a lot more to share but for now, I need to make dinner. I will let you know how the dresses look with the muffin sucked in. I am sure you are all on the edge of your seat waiting to find out.
Enjoy your night!
D
