Bryan is out of town and so far tonight, I have cleaned the 4 bathrooms, cleaned out the refrigerator, steam cleaned the floors, dusted the entire house, and so many other things. I really know how to party when he is out of town. Last night I laid in bed, so excited to be able to watch TV without him there (he likes quiet, I like TV) I decided to get caught up on 48hrs Mystery. Not such a good idea watching shows about murder when I am home alone. Anyway....wedding stuff.
As mentioned before, I printed my response cards and welcome dinner BBQ things on Bryan's Dad's computer. They are cut and ready to go. The response envelopes are addressed and ready to go. All I was waiting for was the main invite I designed. My graphic designer friend told me about a dirt cheap site so I printed them there. I was terrified as it said bleed line, cut line, etc. I kept tracking it and they were set to arrive today. They did and I love, love, love them. They turned out like I wanted and for $30 bucks you can't beat it! Slight problem: They sent me 1,000 of them, not 100. Um, what am I going to do? Invite 900 more people? I don't know 900 people so I think I am going to go to Vegas and stand on the strip and hand them out like they do those po*rn flyers.
My mom was here when they arrived so she offered to help me. As we worked I thought, I will go to the post office, see how much they would cost to mail, and get stamps so I can get the ball rolling on these. My mom said she would stay and stuff the envelopes. I told her to just put the main invite in the big envelope and that was that. I would be back in about 15 minutes....or so I thought.
There is a main post office in town that always makes me stressed. So busy all the time, and long waits. There is another "post office" down the road so I thought hey, save time and go there.
I get there, and there is a line out the door. I finally get in and it is a little bit of a gift shop. I wait, and wait and finally get to the front of the line to the person who looks like he is 13. I wonder why he is not in school, and then think he might be doing a work study program. I put a lot of thought into this. He was wearing one of the gift shop items: A shirt with a snake that says Don't Tread on me. Anyway, I get to talking to him, tell him I need about 200 stamps and would like the Love ones (thinking they still have them). He says there are none but he has two wedding ring ones. They look like they are from the 80's so I pass. I ask him to weigh the envelope to see how much it will cost, although I am convinced it is 44 cents. He tells me 67 cents!? No way. I ask him why, tell him it is not even an ounce (I can see the screen) and he says, well, it is probably because the card won't go through the reader easily. Um, it is a normal size envelope. I am frustrated so I leave. I wanted to "tread" on HIM.
I head over to the main post office. The customer who is at the counter is walking in place. The postal worker is talking to her, helping her with her purchase, and all the while she is walking in place. I thought Richard Simmons was going to come out or something. Why was she walking in place?! Any way, I stand in line and pray I do not get Bob. I ALWAYS get Bob. Bob wears his pants SO high. He asks people about 20 times if they need stamps, boxes or "any of that other good stuff." Is he secretly a pot dealer? What does he mean by good stuff? Bubble wrap? I don't consider that good stuff. Any way, I am next in line and I listen to Bob ask the same guy if he wants the stamps. He already asked him at the beginning, middle and end of the transaction. I don't think the guy wanted stamps the first two times. I see the nice, calm postal worker finishes up. I go to walk up to him, and he goes on break. Bob calls me over. Ugh. He is his chipper self (maybe I will start wearing my pants higher. Perhaps it increases happiness.) I start off with "Bob, I am stressed." I tell him I went to the other post office and he stops me and tells me that they are NOT a post office, they are a postal center. They are not government employees and they are not postal workers. He says this as he points to his patch that says United States Post Office on his shirt. He tells me how they are mostly a gift shop and they have a contract, and blah blah blah. He says he doesn't want to say they don't know what they are doing, but then he tells me "They don't know what they are doing." I tell him my ordeal, and he tells me "I have stamps. Oh boy, do I have stamps." He then takes me to the next window which he refers to as "his office" and tells me to step into it, and gets out the binder. He says he has a lot to show me. This worries me, but he is super excited about his stamps. Maybe he just hopes and prays for people to buy stamps. Maybe that makes him happy and that is why he asks everyone. Then I come along and tell him I need 200. Jackpot for Bob!
He shows me ones that he says, and I quote, "Are ugly as sin." So why show them to me? He then shows me the King and Queen ones. One stamp is a queen, another is a king. I ask for Love ones and he shows me purple flower ones. Fine, done. I ask him when the rate is going up, and he tells me working at the post office is like his wife having an affair....everyone knows things before him. Um, ok. He says he does not know. I tell him I want the Forever ones but I don't want the bell. Those are the only forever ones they make apparently. So I stick with the flowers, and he tells me if I don't need them in sheets of 20 he can rip some off for me, because he "would do that for me." No thanks.
I then ask him to weigh it. He feels it and says "It feels like a 44 cent-er." I said I agree, then as he weighs it, I go on my rant about how the other "post office" said it was 64 cents or something like that. Bob tells me I need to switch to decaf. He then tells me it IS 44 cents. I knew I was right! Damn you other postal center. I wanted to give Bob knuckles, but I bought the stamps. He even gave me a nice bag. I was surprised he did not ask me if I wanted stamps, or the other "good stuff." So off I went to the house.
My mom was still at the table, working away. I told her why I was gone so long, and then she told me she stuffed all the envelopes. She put the welcome dinner card info, and the response card in the response card envelope. It was very sweet, but since people are telling me they are bringing their friends to the wedding (although they were not invited) I am writing how many seats I have reserved for them. Perhaps that is tacky, but it is our way of saying, Um, no. There is a limit. I am not doing an inner envelope with their names on it so this is how they will know how many people can be in their party. I felt bad but we had to unstuff all the envelopes. It only took 30 minutes and I felt awful but we did that, and put stamps on the main envelope and the response card envelopes. Yay!
I ordered a custom return address stamp from someone on Etsy. She will not respond to any of my emails and it is driving me nuts. I want to know when it will get here because I really do not want to have to write out the really long address we have. I might have to cave and do them.
So that was my frustrating day. Bryan found it quite funny, I did not.
And also about the coach, but you've gotten to ride in the Oscar Meyer Weinermobile... that is pretty cool. 
She told me to get different shoes, because Bryan would have a heel on his dress shoe as well, so it would balance each other out. I already have my shoes (which I am not in love with but I would not be in love with any shoe that I will only wear for one more day after the wedding) and the thought of trying to get another shoe was mind boggling. If I could return the shoes I have, I might do it, but I can't. Another pair of shoes would be 40+ dollars, plus the $45 already spent. For $50 more I could have the dress hemmed and not worry about it. I had to have the dress taken in for the lack of ****age and have ****s sewn in. The dress has no bustle so she said there were only two bustles I could have. I think both make me look like I have a huge a*s but I went with the bustle that shows the detail of my dress. 
That is a little less than half of what the dress cost. So much money. I asked my friend how much her alterations were and she said $200 but hers already had a bustle and she did not need it hemmed. The lady told me I could think about it, but I wanted it off of my mind. The dress is going to be dirty for the castle shoot, but it will be less dirty with it hemmed-and my feet won't be killing me. I don't think. 
. That's a bummer about your neighbor... but I'm sure that's not what everyone will remember about your shower. I'm sorry that you're not happy with how things are working out with your bridesmaids though.
