becca011906
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2005
- Messages
- 1,284
Bird-Mom said:We do not let our babies cry themselves to sleep. Crying is how a baby communicates. If they cry, they need something. What you are teaching baby by letting them CIO is that when you ask for what you need, you don't get it. They often fall asleep out of sheer exhaustion brought on by the crying. After a few nights of their needs being met, it is not that they know how to put themselves to sleep but that they realize no one is going to meet their needs so why bother asking.
Actually, crying is harmful. It releases a hormone called cortisol, which is also known as the stress hormone. Cortisol can cause all types of problems with weight, memory, fear management, etc. There is a Harvard study which talks about babies left to CIO leading to post traumatic stress disorder and panic disorders as adults. http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNeedTou.html
More good info why babies should not CIO:
http://www.evalillian.com/Crying.aspx
My 3 year old was a terrible sleeper. Some nights she still is. But 80% of the time, she puts herself to sleep without any problems. Had I left her to cry, she would have cried until she made herself sick. My 1 year old is sometimes a good sleeper, but not always. Lately, she has been nursing 5+ times at night. She needs me. She is teething, and a little Boo gets her right back to sleep.
Children will learn to be independant and separate. But IMO, a baby doesn't need to learn that at a very young age.
My 3 year old was never separated from me. Never left with a sitter or put in daycare. When she turned 3, she went to developmental preschool. We talked a lot about it, but I don't know how much she understood because we do not know the full extent of her delays. I took her into the school and dropped her off at the classroom. She said "Bye Mama" and never looked back. Not a tear or even a sniffle. I didn't even get a hug. Her attachment to me made her secure enough to go off and know that I would be back for her.
Hearing about babies left to cry makes me feel sick. It makes me feel really sad to see parents cheering each other on and reinforcing that it is ok to do that.
so two moms that have had great results from not letting kids or babies cry...
for what you do. Incidentally, we also used the CIO method with Christian when he was a toddler and now he sleeps beautifully--a real rarity for autistic kids.
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I also at some point have let them cry. They are usually to the mad point and would reject my attempt at consoling. 
One of mine would arch their back and scream/refused to be rocked and preferred humming with their paci to get to sleep. 
) 
)
) and he knows....its time 
Their relationship is almost a little creepy & sensual, like Dsis has replaced the normal affection she would give her DH with affection for her daughter. 
She ate only pop-tarts, one ear of corn, one PBJ, and french fries the whole time we were on vacation( in the Outer Banks! I nearly had to throw a tantrum myself to get some fresh seafood!) However, my sister "rewards" her constantly with candy, juice, milk, sweet tea and soda--you should see this kid's teeth. 
