Crying it out?

[justhat]

Thanks kidshop! I hope I was a resource for some people who need help figuring out what to do with their kid's sleep habits, as I know I certainly did. Though most of my friends and relatives kids wake during the night, I was hearing from some people to just shut the door and let her cry, that she was too old to wake at night, feed, etc. I started to 2nd guess myself and what was going on so I'm glad the sleep clinic was there to help me and even happier with the current results. And it's much better for me than listening to my daughter cry for me and have to deal with mommy not wanting to come for her. I know it will be a long road before we're at a 12 hour stretch, but I'm sure it will come.

 

[MayMom]

But OP was up at 4:30 in the morning and unhappy about it. It also didn't sound like it was to be fed. It was a power play between them (at least, that's how it sounded to me.)

Oh yes, Sister! It was a power play in a big way!
And at 4:00 in the morning you are ready to BEG people for some advice. I have received some great advice from these posts! Thanks to ALL of you great mothers who are working hard to raise independent, good-natured children (regardless of sleep habits!!)

 

[txgirl]

MayMom I just realized your baby's name is Karis! My friend (the one with 6 and 7th on the way ) has son named Karis and he is her most strong willed!!!

Good luck tonight!

 

[MayMom]

Well then - that explains it!! I will just have to change her name and she will begin sleeping - right? It is getting close to the DARK HOURS here in Illinois. Yikes!!!

 

[Diz-Mommy]

I havn't had a chance to read through all of these, but I do think its all about routine... Whoever says don't cuddle your baby obviously dosn't remember how warm and rewarding it feels to snuggle and love on a baby that need I remind you won't stay little for long.

I say it's all in your routine...

1. I say try to eat dinner close to the same time every night. Try to keep simple carbs, sugars and caffiene down as much as possible.

2. Get in the habbit of a wind down play time either in the tub or else where. Go for walks if you can! Outside play really zaps the energy needed to fight at bedtime.

3. Lastly enjoy bedtime stories and the rock-a-byes. Singing goodnight songs can be soothing too.

4. Put little one down and say your "na nights", "God, bless yous", and "I can't wait to see your smile in the mornings".

Crying can happen, but working with a routine for a week or so can really help curb it.

My baby is only about 8 months old, but I have several younger siblings and nieces that I have worked with on sleeping issues. My son was easy to get in a routine and has been sleeping well on his own since 2 months old, in his own crib, without crying himself to sleep. We still get in LOTS of cuddle time too

PLUS I run a home childcare and do this very same routine every day for nap time. My childcare kids range from one year to four years old and they get put down at 1:30 and sleep till at least 3:30 everyday, no fussing That's just the way it is, the flow of the day and they know and come to expect it.

Good luck to you and sweet dreams!

 

[grlzmom]

Oh yes, Sister! It was a power play in a big way!
And at 4:00 in the morning you are ready to BEG people for some advice. I have received some great advice from these posts! Thanks to ALL of you great mothers who are working hard to raise independent, good-natured children (regardless of sleep habits!!)

I think you are doing great with being consistent in your techniques for getting her to sleep

Think that its sad that moms will criticize and bash each other over the cio vs. ap methods. I think that different methods work for different people. I think in general all moms want the best for their babies and just use different techniques for getting there.

Dh and I read lots of books when expecting our first. We decided AP was for us. Seven kids later, we are happy with our choice and our children sleep great on their own. Did we get less sleep in the early days, yes, I think so. Did we get less alone time? I definately think so. But it is the choice we made, loved and stuck by, wouldnt trade that time for anything.

I have friends who have done CIO and their kids are very much like mine, with totally different methods of getting there.

I agree that routine and consistency are very important when you make changes with kids in that age group and I hope that your little one is well on her way to sweet dreams.

 

[jeast]

I did not have to re-do CIO method with either of my children. Both slept happily through the night with no crying. One after one week, one after three. They remain good sleepers and can go to bed on their own with no problems (5 and 2).

 

[devotedchristian]

I think its just as ridiculous to call CIO parents child abusers

chobie, I am the poster you are referring to. I did not call CIO Parents child abusers.

jodifla said she did CIO on her 6week old baby. A 6week old baby is *expected* to wake every 2 hours to feed so that their bodies can grow.

The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) do NOT recommend CIO until at least 6months of age.

PM if you still have issues with me.

 

[jodifla]

chobie, I am the poster you are referring to. I did not call CIO Parents child abusers.

jodifla said she did CIO on her 6week old baby. A 6week old baby is *expected* to wake every 2 hours to feed so that their bodies can grow.

The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) do NOT recommend CIO until at least 6months of age.

PM if you still have issues with me.

I am the one you had the gall to call a child abuser. And you have no understanding of the process, or the issues of our household. I did not put my son to bed, then let him cry all night because he was hungry. Ludicrous!

But after he was fed, and I had held him for 20 minutes (he had reflux and needed to be upright after eating) I put him to bed and let him get to sleep on his own. By making sure he got his nutritional requirements during the day, he was able to get long stretches of sleep during the night.

 

[Diz-Mommy]

Its apparent we all have different views on parenting. Let's try to respect eachother's differences instead of attacking them. After all, Our children look up to us, and its an important job to teach them respect for diversity

Good luck on the sleeping issues.

 

[hojo]

Yikes!! With all of these crying babies, what are my chances of sleeping through the night at Disney come September??!! I hope all of teh crying issues are taken care of by then

 

[tinkerbellmom31]

WOW, no tips at all, i could never ever do that. i refuse to let any of my kids cry... never had to take a bottle away from them either since i just nursed them all till they were about 2 then they were done nursing. All my kids co-sleep i'm confused by what you mean that it's not right... learned the hard way ??? Why is co-sleeping so awful? I think it's great. Also i did want to add that you took a 'attachment' item away from you dd and she is lost right now... IMO she needs love, not shut in a room to cry... but then again i think the only time my kids were EVER left to cry was maybe for 10-15 min in a car b/c there was no where to pull over.... I might get bashed here but this is My OPINION...

ITA

 

[tn_disney_addict]

Wow, this thread is hilarious! Everyone just do whats best and most comfortable for your own kids - give advice on the different methods and quit being so mean to eachother!

Makes me very glad that I was lucky enough to have a DD that has always slept through the night - from the day I brought her home!!

Have a MAGICAL day and try to get along...

 

[MayMom]

Wow, this thread is hilarious! Everyone just do whats best and most comfortable for your own kids - give advice on the different methods and quit being so mean to eachother!

Yeah - I really opened a can of worms. I didn't mean to - I promise!
Anyhoo - My sweet baby girl went to sleep last night without a whimper and slept all night! Yeah! She woke up around 8.

 

[MayMom]

Seven kids later, we are happy with our choice and our children sleep great on their own.

Wow - 7 children! You are my hero!!

 

[grlpwrd]

...But it is the choice we made, loved and stuck by, wouldnt trade that time for anything.

Not only am I amazed you have 7 kids, but these words are just lovely. Thank you.

 

[Stimpy]

Yeah - I really opened a can of worms. I didn't mean to - I promise!
Anyhoo - My sweet baby girl went to sleep last night without a whimper and slept all night! Yeah! She woke up around 8.

Congratulations!! I haven't posted on this thread before but have been watching it. I'm glad to hear it's working

For the record, I think every parent needs to do whats best for their own family. Both my kids were terrible sleepers. We didn't use CIO, we used more of a Ferber type thing for the first but had to use CIO for the second and both sleep fine now. Do what works for you

 

[Diz-Mommy]

My DH Ferberizes and I Fockerize. Thank GOD Tyler is a good sleeper!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

No suggestions for CIO...it's not something that is right for our family, for a variety of reasons...but I just wanted to say that we "Fockerize" our son, too, and I got a kick out of the person who posted that, LOL!

We have co-slept from day one, and fortunately ds has slept through the night since he was a few months old. Even when he did wake, I was right there with the ****ie and he was back asleep in minutes, if not seconds. Lucky for us he has NEVER woken in the night and then had trouble getting back to sleep. He's never even been truly wide awake in the middle of the night...just stirring, looking for the mama milk fix!

Personally I don't think CIO is a good thing at all, but I can only make decisions for MY son and MY family and ME. Each person has to be as educated as possible on the issues and then make his or her own choices. No one else can call the shots, and unless it is just OUTRIGHT child abuse, doing something that others are against or that is "less than ideal" still has to be tolerated for us to be a free country! I would NOT want others (even the majority) making decisions for me and my child. Our lifestyle is a little off the beaten path and I'm pretty sure I would not be allowed to do my own thing if I had to parent by committee, LOL!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

I know when this discussion came up with our group of friends everyone was blown away by the statement my friend made which was, "why would you let them cry? They need you, they need you to show them love; that's why they are crying" It seemed so much like what you were saying Becca and while I am still not in agreement I do understand it is another way of parenting.

This is exactly how we parent our ds, 8 months.

So far he has no attachment issues whatsoever, and only cries when he is very tired and wants to nurse to sleep (for like 2 minutes until I can get situated and latch him on). Other than that he goes about his business playing as happily as can be. I truly believe that FOR HIM, knowing that I am right there to meet any needs he might have has been the key. He has no need to cry...he can look to me and know that I will respond immediately, day or night (we co-sleep). This is just what has worked FOR US. Other people are in other situations, obviously. But I totally understand what your friend is saying. To me, crying=need and I aim to meet it!