Creepy Facebook Message - Ever have one of these?

[itchin2go]

So last night I get this message on facebook. It says, "I remember you from _________________ High. You used to get your kicks having a laugh at my expense. I hope you turned out to be a better person than you were in high school."

It's from a fake name. I don't want to post the name, but it's kind of like BadChickie Hitter - something along those lines. The girl has a picture, but I don't recognize the person. Of course, she's seriously "tarted up" in the picture - tons of makeup, teased out hair and a bustier top -- like something from Rock of Love with Bret Michaels. [PREVIOUS STATEMENT IS TO INDICATE WHY I MIGHT NOT RECOGNIZE HER.] I don't recognize anyone in her group of friends either.

She got the name of the High School right, but I'm a member of a facebook group for our high school graduating class, so she could have gotten it from there.

Anyway, I deleted the message and blocked the person. I don't know if she violated any facebook rules with this message, so I didn't report her.

Anyone ever have something like this happen to them? Do you think this person is for real or just someone having some cyber fun at my expense? Is there anything else I should do to protect myself in case this person is a nutjob?

 

[agnes!]

At the very least you should set your privacy profile/settings so that only people you APPROVE (or that you 'friend') can post on your Wall or send you PMs.

agnes!

 

[DisTeach1]

Why would you report her and why was it creepy? You obviously treated her bad in high school and she needed to get it off her chest. Oh well.

I haven't had anything similar, but a guy from high school gave me a friend request. I responded back with "Okay, but in elementary school, you wrote in my autograph book, "I hope one day Pam has a boyfriend, but I doubt if she ever will-Blech!" So, as adults, he had forgotten but he aplogized and we had a good laugh over it.

Sorry, maybe you should respond by saying you're sorry if you were ever mean.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

Could it have been a virus?? I am really not that tech savvy, but I've heard that there are friend requests that release a virus if you click on them.

I swear I'm becoming paranoid about Facebook!

 

[ladycollector]

Why would you report her and why was it creepy? You obviously treated her bad in high school and she needed to get it off her chest. Oh well.

Sorry, maybe you should respond by saying you're sorry if you were ever mean.

I totally agree.

 

[itchin2go]

At the very least you should set your privacy profile/settings so that only people you APPROVE (or that you 'friend') can post on your Wall or send you PMs.

agnes!

Good point. I need to go check this out.

 

[sbell111]

I also can't find the big deal here.

If you treat people poorly, it might come back to visit you later in life. That's a lesson that every child should be taught.

 

[itchin2go]

Yeah - I don't think I was mean to anyone. I wasn't one of those girls who ruled the school. I was a middle of the road kid who kept to myself and my friends. I'm actually kind of shy around people I don't know, so, although I don't remember everything that ever happened in high school, I just don't think I was mean to this person.

That's why I kind of jumped to the conclusion that this was something else.

 

[itchin2go]

Could it have been a virus?? I am really not that tech savvy, but I've heard that there are friend requests that release a virus if you click on them.

I swear I'm becoming paranoid about Facebook!

See, I wondered if this was maybe something other than what it seemed on the surface. I'm kind of paranoid about Facebook too. I'm only barely involved in it.

 

[bookgirl]

Why would you report her and why was it creepy? You obviously treated her bad in high school and she needed to get it off her chest. Oh well.

I haven't had anything similar, but a guy from high school gave me a friend request. I responded back with "Okay, but in elementary school, you wrote in my autograph book, "I hope one day Pam has a boyfriend, but I doubt if she ever will-Blech!" So, as adults, he had forgotten but he aplogized and we had a good laugh over it.

Sorry, maybe you should respond by saying you're sorry if you were ever mean.

Creepy because she didn't regcognize the name or picture. You don't change that much in looks from highschool. It's not obvious that she treated that person bad. Heck if she didn't even know the person it could just be someone who was unhappy and wanted to go and cause some pain or angst to someone else just because they could.

At my 20 year reunion I saw a guy just rag on a girl. She had done nothing to him, she just wasn't friends with him in HS (she was very popular and he was the class president). He went on about how she was so horrible of a person in HS because she had not made an effort to be his friend. He really hurt her, not for anything she had done but because he felt more people should have been friends with him and if they hadn't made the effort then they were at fault. I know for a fact that this was not true. I did not run with the popular crowd but did interact with this girl occasionally. She was always polite, but she wasn't my friend and didn't pretend to be, we were cordial in class, and knew people in common but didn't hang out together.

People are way too fixated on a four year span in thier teens that mean very little in the big picture of a lifetime.

The face book poster sounds like a total whacko. I'd ignore them and let some people on your HS facebook page know that someone is sending ugly messages.

 

[itchin2go]

Creepy because she didn't regcognize the name or picture. You don't change that much in looks from highschool. It's not obvious that she treated that person bad. Heck if she didn't even know the person it could just be someone who was unhappy and wanted to go and cause some pain or angst to someone else just because they could.

At my 20 year reunion I saw a guy just rag on a girl. She had done nothing to him, she just wasn't friends with him in HS (she was very popular and he was the class president). He went on about how she was so horrible of a person in HS because she had not made an effort to be his friend. He really hurt her, not for anything she had done but because he felt more people should have been friends with him and if they hadn't made the effort then they were at fault. I know for a fact that this was not true. I did not run with the popular crowd but did interact with this girl occasionally. She was always polite, but she wasn't my friend and didn't pretend to be, we were cordial in class, and knew people in common but didn't hang out together.

People are way too fixated on a four year span in thier teens that mean very little in the big picture of a lifetime.

The face book poster sounds like a total whacko. I'd ignore them and let some people on your HS facebook page know that someone is sending ugly messages.

Thank you. I drastically dialed back my facebook privacy settings.

Yeah - for whatever reason, this was creepy to me. The picture was odd, the name was odd, I did not recognize the girl. Maybe it's good to have a wake-up call to not have too much information out there open to just everyone.

I'm really surprised that so many assumed that I must have been a witch in high school just because an anonymous person sent me that message on facebook.

 

[Planogirl]

Maybe you were friends with someone who teased her and she just assumed that you were part of it? Or maybe she took something the wrong way?

People can change a lot particularly women. With makeup and different hair and maybe weight loss or even plastic surgery, you might not recognize someone.

 

[Octoberbride03]

What is wrong with the posters who obviously ASSumed that the OP treated ppl badly in HS?!!!

Did you go to school with her? Did you see the behavior? I'm guessing NOT. You all need to take a good look at yourselves that you automatically think that some anonymous person who sends messages like that is in the right. There are plenty of ppl in this world who would send messages like that for kicks to somebody they've never met.

FTR the message would freak me out and I didn't treat anybody badly in HS that i remember.

OP change your privacy settings and with luck this won't happen again.

 

[lillygator]

Why would you report her and why was it creepy? You obviously treated her bad in high school and she needed to get it off her chest. Oh well.

I haven't had anything similar, but a guy from high school gave me a friend request. I responded back with "Okay, but in elementary school, you wrote in my autograph book, "I hope one day Pam has a boyfriend, but I doubt if she ever will-Blech!" So, as adults, he had forgotten but he aplogized and we had a good laugh over it.

Sorry, maybe you should respond by saying you're sorry if you were ever mean.

well I wouldn;t have reported her or anything but I may have emailed back asking more specifics to see if it jogged my memory or something. OP may have been perfectly nice to the person or not, she doesn't remember her.

 

[DisTeach1]

Okay, all I'm saying, is this...

I was teased in high school. I had acne, etc. I was awkward and I was teased. What I've noticed, not just in my situation, but others it this:

The people who were doing the teasing or were mean...DON"T EVER REMEMBER IT, EVER, but the people who were the victims, REMEMBER IT FOREVER. I've seen this again and again.

Okay, so maybe the OP wasn't mean, but still, it's FACEBOOK...I don't take it that seriously, and I realize by being on it, I'm opening myself to people and memories that I don't remember. I let it go, I'd never go to the trouble of reporting it.

 

[Darsa]

I was teased as well, so much so that I left school in the 10th grade. However, I wouldn't automatically assume a random, anonymous person was someone I had done something wrong to, just because they said I did. Especially someone who doesn't clarify who the heck they are; that's just cowardly IMO.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

What is wrong with the posters who obviously ASSumed that the OP treated ppl badly in HS?!!!

Did you go to school with her? Did you see the behavior? I'm guessing NOT. You all need to take a good look at yourselves that you automatically think that some anonymous person who sends messages like that is in the right. There are plenty of ppl in this world who would send messages like that for kicks to somebody they've never met.

FTR the message would freak me out and I didn't treat anybody badly in HS that i remember.

OP change your privacy settings and with luck this won't happen again.

I wasn't one of the posters who said she must have treated this girl badly, but it was my first thought.

Lots of kids are mean in high school. Lots more may not instigate, but laugh along when the friends are mean. Maybe there are people who would send messages like this to someone they don't know, but that is a lot less common than kids who laugh at other kids in high school.

If it were me, I'd be a little freaked out too, but I would reply with an apology anyway. I was very quiet in school, more ignored than anything else, but I do recognize that there may be an incident I don't remember, a joke that someone else might have taken differently, or that someone might have me confused with someone else.

I would rather take the chance on apologizing to a troll, than slam the door on someone looking to heal an old wound.

 

[itchin2go]

Maybe you were friends with someone who teased her and she just assumed that you were part of it? Or maybe she took something the wrong way?

People can change a lot particularly women. With makeup and different hair and maybe weight loss or even plastic surgery, you might not recognize someone.

Maybe. It's hard to know. I graduated in 1987, so I've probably forgotten more than I remember about it!

What is wrong with the posters who obviously ASSumed that the OP treated ppl badly in HS?!!!

Did you go to school with her? Did you see the behavior? I'm guessing NOT. You all need to take a good look at yourselves that you automatically think that some anonymous person who sends messages like that is in the right. There are plenty of ppl in this world who would send messages like that for kicks to somebody they've never met.

FTR the message would freak me out and I didn't treat anybody badly in HS that i remember.

OP change your privacy settings and with luck this won't happen again.

Privacy settings changed: CHECK!

well I wouldn;t have reported her or anything but I may have emailed back asking more specifics to see if it jogged my memory or something. OP may have been perfectly nice to the person or not, she doesn't remember her.

Yeah - I didn't think she violated any facebook rules which is why I didn't report her. I did block her, though. First time I've done that.

It's funny because I did have an urge to write her back. I doubt I did anything to this person, but I'm not perfect, and I certainly don't remember every moment of high school. If nothing else, I'm curious what this is all about and I want more information.

But given that the name was obviously fake, and I didn't recognize the person or anyone in her group of friends, I just thought it was better to not engage this person. If it was really someone who wanted to mend fences, or have some meaningful discussion about the past, I would think they would reveal their real name.

Many of my facebook friends are moms of my daughter's classmates, and I have pictures of my daughter posted there. For that reason, I'm a little cagey about my interactions on facebook.

 

[itchin2go]

Okay, all I'm saying, is this...

I was teased in high school. I had acne, etc. I was awkward and I was teased. What I've noticed, not just in my situation, but others it this:

The people who were doing the teasing or were mean...DON"T EVER REMEMBER IT, EVER, but the people who were the victims, REMEMBER IT FOREVER. I've seen this again and again.

Okay, so maybe the OP wasn't mean, but still, it's FACEBOOK...I don't take it that seriously, and I realize by being on it, I'm opening myself to people and memories that I don't remember. I let it go, I'd never go to the trouble of reporting it.

I was teased as well, so much so that I left school in the 10th grade. However, I wouldn't automatically assume a random, anonymous person was someone I had done something wrong to, just because they said I did. Especially someone who doesn't clarify who the heck they are; that's just cowardly IMO.

High School sucked, didn't it? My daughter is 8 years old and hasn't had to encounter any of this stuff yet. It breaks my heart that I know this stuff is down the road.

I wasn't one of the posters who said she must have treated this girl badly, but it was my first thought.

Lots of kids are mean in high school. Lots more may not instigate, but laugh along when the friends are mean. Maybe there are people who would send messages like this to someone they don't know, but that is a lot less common than kids who laugh at other kids in high school.

If it were me, I'd be a little freaked out too, but I would reply with an apology anyway. I was very quiet in school, more ignored than anything else, but I do recognize that there may be an incident I don't remember, a joke that someone else might have taken differently, or that someone might have me confused with someone else.

I would rather take the chance on apologizing to a troll, than slam the door on someone looking to heal an old wound.

I'm not ruling out the possibility that I did something to upset someone in the 4 years of high school. People did plenty of things to upset me in high school. I'm not sure anyone gets out unscathed. If I didn't care, I wouldn't have clicked on the person's picture to try to fit the pieces together. I DO know that I wasn't a bully or one of the "mean girls" who ruled the school. I was good at school, I had a small circle of friends, and I never had a date. I didn't even go to prom.

Maybe I should ask for more information. If the person's name was Mary Jackson or something normal, maybe I'd be more inclined to believe it's sincere and not cyber-antics. I'm prone to be paranoid, though.

 

[lillygator]

was her facebook name fake? that's kind of odd.