Crazy road rage incident!! Did I do the right thing? LONG!!

[tuckerkeys]

Long story, somewhat short....

Yesterday, my husband was playing with my kids, 6 and almost 2, outside in the street. I live in a resort area, so, this time of year is quiet so we take advantage of the situation and ride bikes and play ball in front of my house. I live on a side street that has access to the beach, therefore in the summer people drive down the street to access it and we don't get much playtime in the street because of this. It is NOT a main street and during the off season we get maybe 2 dozen or so cars going down the street on any given day and these cars are mostly my neighbors coming and going.

While playing in the street, a car came by going at least 35 in a 25 with everyone OUT in the street on the side b/c of his speed. My husband said while he was speeding by " HEY SLOW down brother!"

I had just walked out onto my porch and the car came to a SCREECHING halt, the IRATE man got OUT of his car and CAME AT MY HUSBAND WHO WAS HOLDING MY 22 month old!!!!!!!!!!

I flew off the porch, I don't even think I hit a stair and immediately got between this man and my husband & baby, thinking he would not hit a woman, and just kept saying " Get back in your car! There are kids here! Please leave! Get back in your car " " Stop cursing ' etc etc.....

He was cursing up a storm, in front of the kids, unlike anyone I have ever heard!!! My husband whipped out his phone & dialed the police station and in the timeframe I managed to move him BACK to his car away from my husband and the kids b/c I am almost 6 ft tall, he was shorter than me and I'm not afraid of anyone esp. with my momma bear instincts flying!!! I had my arms outstretched trying to get into his personal space to move him away, which worked. It was scary to say the least b/c I had no idea WHAT he was going to do, he was so irate anything could have happened....

I calmed him down a bit, he was full of tattoos and 1 front & center on his neck said " Aiden " so I asked him who this was & he said " his 7 month old SON!" I then got mad and could not believe he was a DAD ACTING THIS WAY IN FRONT OF CHILDREN!!!! I just kept on saying please leave, please get in your car, police are coming etc etc..... I think he had issues with a woman telling him to do something etc etc...He finally got back to his car and was all hyped up freaking out cursing still

Police came, he told them I TOUCHED HIM ( didn't ) and he said he was only doing 23 down the st. Yeah, OK. He clearly was not b/c when he stopped the car, the tires screetched and the car rocked from front to back. The police said they could do nothing. I told the police I wanted them to get all his information b/c in the event of him trying to " get even " or something with us in the future b/c of what transpired, he'd be the 1st one we'd go to ( tires slashed, vandalism etc etc...)

I was and am scared for what transpired. We are the lowest key easy going people out there so I have no idea WHAT came over me! I think the whole image of him violently going at my husband who was holding the baby I saw him hitting them in my mind and something took over! I can not stop thinking of this man trying to break in here or do something to us. I have never had thoughts of fear like this in my life!!! The police literally did nothing. They asked me what I wanted them to do b/c they saw nothing and it was his word against ours.

They did get his info, turns out he lives here as well and was coming from 1 of my neighbors who was not home. My neighbor says he can't stand the guy, he always drops by and never leaves and is not the best example of a human being ( down on his luck, problems etc etc...) My neighbor said he'd ask him to stay away from my end of the street if he ever comes by again, but, my neighbor also said something interesting, he said " GOOD! now i have a reason to tell him to take a hike! For disrespecting the neighborhood and yelling at his friends! " So in my mind I'm like great just 1 more reason to give this crazy animal of a man retaliation thoughts against my family.

So anyway I just wanted to share this b/c I keep going over & over what I did and could have done.. Should I have grabbed the baby & my son and ran inside the house leaving my husband out there by himself? I think he would have most definatly gotten hit I dunno........I think what I did to try to calm the guy down and get him back into his car diffused the situation until the police came, which it did, but my kids witnessed the WHOLE THING and this makes me angry at myself!!! Thanks for letting me tell my story-sometimes I hate people and can not believe how they conduct themselves in public!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

You were being protective of your family, he's a jerk and if there is anything that happens to your house, you call the police and tell them to go roght to him.

 

[Darsa]

Wow, I am totally impressed! You go, girl! Hopefully he doesn't decide to try for some kind of revenge, he sounds about nutz enough to do that. But I think it's awesome that you stood up for your family and up to someone who is obviously used to bullying his way through life.

 

[sbell111]

This is the very reason that it is not wise for individuals to attempt to counsel strangers on their behavior. It could have been much worse.

 

[diznygirl]

I would not have confronted him. You are lucky it turned out okay. You could have been tossed aside like a rag doll or been the first one to be shot or stabbed. When he stopped the car, everyone should have headed inside ASAP.

Also, it's worth mentioning that while we are standing still as pedestrians, cars look like they actually going faster than they are. I have been told to slow down when I am barely doing 20.

 

[Evil Genius]

First your husband shouldn't have said anything, because there are the unstable out there amongst us. If it bothered him that much, he should have gotten the license plate and called the police.

But since the man stopped, you and your husband should have hustled your family into the house and dialed 911. You don't stand up to people. Your children could be without a mom or could be orphans this morning.


BTW being filled with tattoos does not make everyone a bad person, or a psychotic.

 

[shrubber]

reminds me of a story.

I was driving to the beach down what is a pretty busy road the other day to enjoy a relaxing afternoon.
I noticed a couple of kids in the middle of the road, one couldn't have been more than 2!
Luckily, I was able to avoid them as they were darting in and around traffic. As I was slowing down, trying to manuver around the kids some guy' who turns out to be the kids dad no less, yells at ME from the top of his lungs 'HEY SLOW DOWN !!'
I couldn't believe it! the nerve! He lets his kids, babies almost, run around in traffic and yells at me to slow down.?!?
I stopped my car I was so angry. These kids could be killed and the Dad yells at me?!
I admit I was upset and got out and hollered at the Dad something like ' Are you blanking kidding me? You have playtime in the middle of the blanking road and you yell at me?'
Well, all of a sudden out of nowhere some lady, turns out to be the Mom, comes running up to me at full steam, screaming at me to "GET AWAY" " GET BACK IN YOUR CAR" waving her arms in front of here, pushing and herding me back.
I have never witnessed such a display in all my life.
I was incredulous. "What the blank are you thinking letting your children play in traffic for blank's sake?' They could be killed, thank god I was able to stop "

She continued to holler at me and said that they had called the police! and I had better leave.
They called the police on me? I would think that child endangerment alone would prevent these people from calling the police.
"Fine, Call" I said
The police actually did come and after they calmed the woman down I believe they mentioned something to her about a busy road not being a playground, and said I could go and had, of course done nothing wrong.


The nerve of some people. I hope that they learn a lesson from this so we do not read about some tragic story in the newspaper.

 

[ma2jr]

Wow, I am totally impressed! You go, girl! Hopefully he doesn't decide to try for some kind of revenge, he sounds about nutz enough to do that. But I think it's awesome that you stood up for your family and up to someone who is obviously used to bullying his way through life.

I agree.. you go girl!

 

[Hazzard101]

Coming from a security officer's stand point, you did the right thing, your husband did the right thing, and the police did the only thing they could. This is your neighbor hood and you have the right to police it and your husband was doing his duty to protect the kids and others on the street.

I am proud of the OP for standing her ground and showing no fear. She showed the big "BULLY", and that's what he was, that he would not terrorize their neighborhood. The fact that you were able to make the man stand down and actually had the good thinking to engage the person in a personal conversation asking about the tattoo and the name is sign of great thinking and courage.

I wouldn't worry about this guy. I believe you put him in his place and seeing the police have his info and knowledge of the situation he will cool down and forget about it.

Judging from your reaction to the original situation I don't think this guy would want to tango with you again Good job.

 

[tuckerkeys]

OP here I should mention that since the incident I have told my husband NEVER to yell at ANY CAR AGAIN no matter what's going on with speed, etc etc...... this proves you never know what will happen!

I should also mention that it is common in my neighborhood to play in the street. The whole town, even, as long as it is not the main drags. We all ride bikes, skateboard, ride scooters, play ball etc etc.....There is even a sign at the entrance of my street that says " Watch for Children at Play "

Also I did not want to imply that b/c this guy was full of tattoos that he was a bad man in any matter. It's just something I remembered about him and also helped me calm him down seeing his sons name on his throat in a heart.....

 

[Pea-n-Me]

You reacted and it sounds like you diffused the situation. Thankfully. If the guy had a weapon or "lost it", it could have turned out differently.

It does make you stop and think, though, about whether it's "worth it", be it yelling at someone to slow down, or flipping the bird to someone who cut you off, etc.

In the past few years we've had several pedestrians hit and killed by cars in my town. No question people drive fast here. We often have the same problem of speeding cars flying down the street.

I bought one of those 3ft tall yellow "traffic guys with the flag" things that I put out when the kids are outside. It's a visual reminder that actually does seem to work - most people slow down when they see it. I'd post a picture if I knew what it was called and could find one. Maybe someone else does. Anyway, I'd consider getting one of those and using it.

Hang in. I doubt this guy will cause further problems for you (but understand your worry).

 

[FireDancer]

After seeing the movie Falling Down I don't really confront strangers in the street. All you need is someone to be on the edge of breaking and instead of getting out of the car and yelling they pull out a gun or knife.

 

[Boo'sMom]

the guy definitely didn't need to act like he did...but your kids shouldn't have been in the street either. Streets are for cars, not kids playing.

 

[John VN]

Coming from a security officer's stand point, you did the right thing, your husband did the right thing, and the police did the only thing they could. This is your neighbor hood and you have the right to police it and your husband was doing his duty to protect the kids and others on the street.

I am proud of the OP for standing her ground and showing no fear. She showed the big "BULLY", and that's what he was, that he would not terrorize their neighborhood. The fact that you were able to make the man stand down and actually had the good thinking to engage the person in a personal conversation asking about the tattoo and the name is sign of great thinking and courage.

I wouldn't worry about this guy. I believe you put him in his place and seeing the police have his info and knowledge of the situation he will cool down and forget about it.

Judging from your reaction to the original situation I don't think this guy would want to tango with you again Good job.

I do not agree with your assessment of the husband's actions or those of the OP.

 

[Scurvy]

I don't think you should have confronted him. He was driving in the road, which is what the roads are for. They are not for playing, even if many people along your road use them for that. If you notice him speeding down the street often then I absolutely think you should call the police about him. But one isolated incident of someone speeding is not worth having this sort of confrontation over.

After your husband yelled at him to slow down and the man stopped his car, you all should have gone inside. You had no way of knowing whether the guy was at the end of his rope and ready to kill someone. You had a responsibility to protect your children and I don't think that escalating the confrontation with the guy was the best way to do that.

I think that if you see the guy speeding in the future you should continue to call the police about it. I also think that you should refrain from confronting people about their behavior in the future, at least when your children are present. And finally, I think that you should find a better place to play than in the street. There are always going to be cars driving in the street, and some of them will be speeding. Teaching your kids that the street is a good place to play doesn't seem like the best choice, in my opinion.

 

[BellvilleDad]

reminds me of a story.

I was driving to the beach down what is a pretty busy road the other day to enjoy a relaxing afternoon.
I noticed a couple of kids in the middle of the road, one couldn't have been more than 2!
Luckily, I was able to avoid them as they were darting in and around traffic. As I was slowing down, trying to manuver around the kids some guy' who turns out to be the kids dad no less, yells at ME from the top of his lungs 'HEY SLOW DOWN !!'
I couldn't believe it! the nerve! He lets his kids, babies almost, run around in traffic and yells at me to slow down.?!?
I stopped my car I was so angry. These kids could be killed and the Dad yells at me?!
I admit I was upset and got out and hollered at the Dad something like ' Are you blanking kidding me? You have playtime in the middle of the blanking road and you yell at me?'
Well, all of a sudden out of nowhere some lady, turns out to be the Mom, comes running up to me at full steam, screaming at me to "GET AWAY" " GET BACK IN YOUR CAR" waving her arms in front of here, pushing and herding me back.
I have never witnessed such a display in all my life.
I was incredulous. "What the blank are you thinking letting your children play in traffic for blank's sake?' They could be killed, thank god I was able to stop "

She continued to holler at me and said that they had called the police! and I had better leave.
They called the police on me? I would think that child endangerment alone would prevent these people from calling the police.
"Fine, Call" I said
The police actually did come and after they calmed the woman down I believe they mentioned something to her about a busy road not being a playground, and said I could go and had, of course done nothing wrong.


The nerve of some people. I hope that they learn a lesson from this so we do not read about some tragic story in the newspaper.

Were they letting the kids play on a busy street, or did the kids get away from them? Even if the parents were dumb enough to let their kids play on a busy street, the cars need to slow down & be careful around the children. They are just children, even if the 'rents are idiots. And cursing the parents in front of the kids is never a good idea.

I don't let my children play in the street, but you can bet I let speeders know they are going too fast in my neighborhood. If they don't like to hear that, they can stop and discuss it with me...any way they want.

 

[Jenvenza]

The guy was not right to get out of his car and try to confront you guys. But I have to agree with some other posters that playing in the street is not a wise idea. Especially for a 2 year old. It seems to be teaching them that streets are a safe place to play, when they obviously arent. I have a 2 year old and I am always telling her that we dont go out in the street or play in it, because she could get hurt.

I am glad no one got hurt in your situation, but I would hope you guys learned never to yell at someone in their car. It could have turned out really bad.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I don't think you should have confronted him. He was driving in the road, which is what the roads are for. They are not for playing, even if many people along your road use them for that. If you notice him speeding down the street often then I absolutely think you should call the police about him. But one isolated incident of someone speeding is not worth having this sort of confrontation over.

After your husband yelled at him to slow down and the man stopped his car, you all should have gone inside. You had no way of knowing whether the guy was at the end of his rope and ready to kill someone. You had a responsibility to protect your children and I don't think that escalating the confrontation with the guy was the best way to do that.

I think that if you see the guy speeding in the future you should continue to call the police about it. I also think that you should refrain from confronting people about their behavior in the future, at least when your children are present. And finally, I think that you should find a better place to play than in the street. There are always going to be cars driving in the street, and some of them will be speeding. Teaching your kids that the street is a good place to play doesn't seem like the best choice, in my opinion.

ITA! While bikes and scooters are ridden on the street, they should be on the side and following the rules of the road. Otherwise, playing ball or hanging out, etc. should be done in a park and not the street.

 

[PatsMom]

One of my pet peeves is people who let their kids play in the road. And then put out those silly flags/cones/signs telling me to slow down! The road is for driving, not for playing.

On the days I have to be in my real office, I stay with my mother in southern NH. She lives on a fairly quiet side street. I can count at least four basketball hoops that are set up so the kids are in the street. And then the family with the signs they put out when they send the little ones out into the street to play. And then they family with the signs had the nerve to pass out leaflets saying that we should all be doing under 20 miles per hour because of the number of kids playing in the street and wanted support to get the speed limit lowered! Fortunately, most people agreed with the viewpoint that the street is for driving. Yards, driveways, parks, playgrounds, etc are for playing.

I personally think that as soon as the confrontation the OP describes started, everyone should have immediately gone into their houses. Confronting angry strangers is a good way to wind up injured or dead these days.

 

[mtemm]

the guy definitely didn't need to act like he did...but your kids shouldn't have been in the street either. Streets are for cars, not kids playing.

so where do kids ride bikes, etc?

where I live we have short driveways, quiet neighborhood streets, and no sidewalks. there would be no bikeriding, etc, if they didn't ride in the streets.

OP, that must have scared the living daylights out of you. what a nutcase. hope you have no other dealings with him. hopefully he was just having a bad day, but even with a bad day I am shocked by people who curse, etc, around kids.

good job to your dh not engaging with the man. not sure mine would have backed off so readily.