Crazy road rage incident!! Did I do the right thing? LONG!!

[PatsMom]

so where do kids ride bikes, etc?

where I live we have short driveways, quiet neighborhood streets, and no sidewalks. there would be no bikeriding, etc, if they didn't ride in the streets.

Kids ride bikes in the street, following the rules of the road, just like adults. You practice in a driveway, empty parking lot (churches on weekdays are usually good) until you are skilled enough to ride. And a two year old has no business riding in the street.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

Kids ride bikes in the street, following the rules of the road, just like adults. You practice in a driveway, empty parking lot (churches on weekdays are usually good) until you are skilled enough to ride. And a two year old has no business riding in the street.

I came home one day from work and had to stop my car because DSD was riding her bike down the middle of the street. She was grounded from the bike for a week. She knew the rules and purposely disobeyed them. No compliance, no bike. Simple as that!

 

[bgirldeb]

I'm going to have to agree that kids should not play in the street- busy or not. Signs posted advising of 'children at play' are for the purpose of alerting drivers be alert to kids accidentally running after balls that roll into the street, etc. The signs are not for the purpose of allowing kids to use the street as a basketball court or playground.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I'm going to have to agree that kids should not play in the street- busy or not. Signs posted advising of 'children at play' are for the purpose of alerting drivers be alert to kids accidentally running after balls that roll into the street, etc. Not for kids to use the street as a basketball court or playground.

Thank you.

 

[allison443]

Long story, somewhat short....

Yesterday, my husband was playing with my kids, 6 and almost 2, outside in the street. I live in a resort area, so, this time of year is quiet so we take advantage of the situation and ride bikes and play ball in front of my house. I live on a side street that has access to the beach, therefore in the summer people drive down the street to access it and we don't get much playtime in the street because of this. It is NOT a main street and during the off season we get maybe 2 dozen or so cars going down the street on any given day and these cars are mostly my neighbors coming and going.

While playing in the street, a car came by going at least 35 in a 25 with everyone OUT in the street on the side b/c of his speed. My husband said while he was speeding by " HEY SLOW down brother!"

I had just walked out onto my porch and the car came to a SCREECHING halt, the IRATE man got OUT of his car and CAME AT MY HUSBAND WHO WAS HOLDING MY 22 month old!!!!!!!!!!

I flew off the porch, I don't even think I hit a stair and immediately got between this man and my husband & baby, thinking he would not hit a woman, and just kept saying " Get back in your car! There are kids here! Please leave! Get back in your car " " Stop cursing ' etc etc.....

He was cursing up a storm, in front of the kids, unlike anyone I have ever heard!!! My husband whipped out his phone & dialed the police station and in the timeframe I managed to move him BACK to his car away from my husband and the kids b/c I am almost 6 ft tall, he was shorter than me and I'm not afraid of anyone esp. with my momma bear instincts flying!!! I had my arms outstretched trying to get into his personal space to move him away, which worked. It was scary to say the least b/c I had no idea WHAT he was going to do, he was so irate anything could have happened....

I calmed him down a bit, he was full of tattoos and 1 front & center on his neck said " Aiden " so I asked him who this was & he said " his 7 month old SON!" I then got mad and could not believe he was a DAD ACTING THIS WAY IN FRONT OF CHILDREN!!!! I just kept on saying please leave, please get in your car, police are coming etc etc..... I think he had issues with a woman telling him to do something etc etc...He finally got back to his car and was all hyped up freaking out cursing still

Police came, he told them I TOUCHED HIM ( didn't ) and he said he was only doing 23 down the st. Yeah, OK. He clearly was not b/c when he stopped the car, the tires screetched and the car rocked from front to back. The police said they could do nothing. I told the police I wanted them to get all his information b/c in the event of him trying to " get even " or something with us in the future b/c of what transpired, he'd be the 1st one we'd go to ( tires slashed, vandalism etc etc...)

I was and am scared for what transpired. We are the lowest key easy going people out there so I have no idea WHAT came over me! I think the whole image of him violently going at my husband who was holding the baby I saw him hitting them in my mind and something took over! I can not stop thinking of this man trying to break in here or do something to us. I have never had thoughts of fear like this in my life!!! The police literally did nothing. They asked me what I wanted them to do b/c they saw nothing and it was his word against ours.

They did get his info, turns out he lives here as well and was coming from 1 of my neighbors who was not home. My neighbor says he can't stand the guy, he always drops by and never leaves and is not the best example of a human being ( down on his luck, problems etc etc...) My neighbor said he'd ask him to stay away from my end of the street if he ever comes by again, but, my neighbor also said something interesting, he said " GOOD! now i have a reason to tell him to take a hike! For disrespecting the neighborhood and yelling at his friends! " So in my mind I'm like great just 1 more reason to give this crazy animal of a man retaliation thoughts against my family.

So anyway I just wanted to share this b/c I keep going over & over what I did and could have done.. Should I have grabbed the baby & my son and ran inside the house leaving my husband out there by himself? I think he would have most definatly gotten hit I dunno........I think what I did to try to calm the guy down and get him back into his car diffused the situation until the police came, which it did, but my kids witnessed the WHOLE THING and this makes me angry at myself!!! Thanks for letting me tell my story-sometimes I hate people and can not believe how they conduct themselves in public!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am glad you are all okay! I really don't think it's a good idea to confront people about stuff like this-you never know what they are capable of!

Maybe I'm picturing it wrong but it sounds like your dh let you confront this man, using your arms to get into his personal space and move him back to the car, all the while the guy was yelling and cursing and as you said hyped up and freaking out. Wasn't your dh afraid of what this guy might do? As you said anything could have happened.

Hope your kids weren't too upset about it.

 

[shrubber]

Were they letting the kids play on a busy street, or did the kids get away from them? Even if the parents were dumb enough to let their kids play on a busy street, the cars need to slow down & be careful around the children. They are just children, even if the 'rents are idiots. And cursing the parents in front of the kids is never a good idea.

I don't let my children play in the street, but you can bet I let speeders know they are going too fast in my neighborhood. If they don't like to hear that, they can stop and discuss it with me...any way they want.

my husband was playing with my kids, 6 and almost 2, outside in the street. I live in a resort area, so, this time of year is quiet so we take advantage of the situation and ride bikes and play ball in front of my house.

 

[Va-bear]

He was driving in the road, which is what the roads are for. They are not for playing, even if many people along your road use them for that.

I strongly agee - this does not excuse the man's behavior, at all - but having people in the ROAD is one of those things that gets me close to road rage too. Around here, they wont even move and expect you to cross a yellow line (against the law and a hazard) to move around them! Drives me batty!! It's a road (meant for cars)....how would peope feel if I drove in their yard (meant for people) to get around them? They'd call the police ofcourse....wish I could call the police when they are in the road....

I am very sorry this happend to you OP - it sounds terrible and, hopefully, it is over.

 

[nutterbutter2010]

I just can't believe that in the middle of all this, you asked him about the tat on his neck. I mean, what did you care anyway??? LOL How did it go? "GET IN YOUR CAR AND LEAVE NOW SIR!!! BTW - WHATS THAT TAT MEAN???"

 

[OceanAnnie]

Thank goodness what you did worked! For that time, given the circumstances and the results, I'd say you did what you intended, averting harm to your family. That took a lot of guts and I'm sure you were running on adrenaline.

It's good for you to reflect on what transpired. You know now this guy lives in the area and visits your neighborhood. I'd stay away from the road as much as possible for a good long time. You don't want to cross paths with someone so volatile. A little time and distance from the problem would be a good thing.

Good that you told your DH not to yell at any more cars. Just get the license plate #. It's not for me to say that what you did was right or wrong. Your baby as well as your DH were in jeopardy. It's good to reflect on what you (and DH ) can do differently.

Glad it all turned out okay. I hope the guy calms down and doesn't retaliate. But at least the police have his information, so he will probably think twice. I think you need a toddy.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I just can't believe that in the middle of all this, you asked him about the tat on his neck. I mean, what did you care anyway??? LOL How did it go? "GET IN YOUR CAR AND LEAVE NOW SIR!!! BTW - WHATS THAT TAT MEAN???"

I thought it was quick and clever thinking. Get his mind off of the issue and keep him moving. Get him talking about something else, anything to diffuse the situation. Very clever.

 

[Kit'smommy]

I live on a cul-de-sac. In fact my house is one of the ones on the inner most portion of it. Everyday when I come home from work, I have to wait for neighbors to collect their children (some barely walking) and their children's toys from the street so I can drive up to my house. We have parks that are very close and sidewalks on which they can use their skates and scooters, so I really don't understand why everyone uses the road as a playground. And they of course think I am crazy because I constantly remind my DS that he has to stay on the yard/driveway/sidewalk or be riding his bike properly on the street, but he is not allowed to play in the street.

Regardless of traffic, I do not think children have any business playing in the street.

OP, You never know how a stranger (or for that matter even a casual friend or neighbor) is going to behave when being called out by another adult. I am glad that all ended well, given the situation, but please be careful.

 

[Allison]

The guy was not right to get out of his car and try to confront you guys. But I have to agree with some other posters that playing in the street is not a wise idea. Especially for a 2 year old. It seems to be teaching them that streets are a safe place to play, when they obviously arent. I have a 2 year old and I am always telling her that we dont go out in the street or play in it, because she could get hurt.

I agree.

 

[WhateverLolaWants]

I think your husband should not have said anything. A student at my alma mater just died this past weekend for the exact same thing your husband did. Three students, including this young man, were walking late at night from the bars and nearly got hit by other men in a car. One yelled out "Watch where you're going!" The thugs hid a little bit further down the street and attacked them when the group caught up to them.

 

[FireDancer]

I didn't see this going into a kids playing in the street thread, nice play. I was thinking it would turn into a neck tattoo = serial killer one so I was way off.

I think whether or not kids play in the street has a lot to do with where you live. In the neighborhood I grew up in we set up goals and played soccer in the street and in one of the cul-de-sacs we had a baseball diamond that we used to chalk out. When a car came everyone yelled car and we moved everything, waited for it to pass, and then set the goals back up. Where I live now the kids all around me play in the street. They are not 2 or 4 but 12-ish which is when we started to do it. I drive slow when I am going down the street and if they are playing they step aside, I drive by, and then they continue. Both of these streets weren't dead ends but they did and do just end into other streets in the development so pretty much no one on them is going anywhere other than to or from a house on the street.

The street I lived on in FL would be way too busy for anyone to play on, just crossing it was a bit like frogger, so no way would anyone play in them.

 

[wdwmom2]

I just can't believe that in the middle of all this, you asked him about the tat on his neck. I mean, what did you care anyway??? LOL How did it go? "GET IN YOUR CAR AND LEAVE NOW SIR!!! BTW - WHATS THAT TAT MEAN???"

One thought, maybe the OP was trying to bring the situation to the driver on a more personal level. Sort of, if it were him and his child playing in the road, how would HE feel if a driver came down that road at a speed presumably higher than the posted speed limit??? I don't know, just a guess.

My opinion, I don't think the OP did the smartest thing in confronting him. You just never know what the other person is capable of. But, at the same time, who knows, I may have done the same thing. Things happen in a fraction of a second and you just react. A lot of times not even thinking about the possible consequences.

As far as playing in the streets, I believe streets were made for cars. I would only use the street if I had a good view in either direction that gave me time to move my children to the side in the event of an oncoming car. AND my children would be taught to never be in the street without supervision. My children are older and this is not an issue, but the street we live on is one they would never be allowed to play on. Luckily, we have 2 nice church parking lots less than 10 seconds away!!!

 

[kafitty]

regardless of my opinions of anything else in this situation...

i will neverevereverever understand why people think it's okay to cuss/act a fool in front of small children.

maybe it's just me, but even if i'm angry as all get out, if i see little ears around, i get rather creative with my language, instead of flat-out cursing.

 

[merryweather20]

reminds me of a story.

I was driving to the beach down what is a pretty busy road the other day to enjoy a relaxing afternoon.
I noticed a couple of kids in the middle of the road, one couldn't have been more than 2!
Luckily, I was able to avoid them as they were darting in and around traffic. As I was slowing down, trying to manuver around the kids some guy' who turns out to be the kids dad no less, yells at ME from the top of his lungs 'HEY SLOW DOWN !!'
I couldn't believe it! the nerve! He lets his kids, babies almost, run around in traffic and yells at me to slow down.?!?
I stopped my car I was so angry. These kids could be killed and the Dad yells at me?!
I admit I was upset and got out and hollered at the Dad something like ' Are you blanking kidding me? You have playtime in the middle of the blanking road and you yell at me?'
Well, all of a sudden out of nowhere some lady, turns out to be the Mom, comes running up to me at full steam, screaming at me to "GET AWAY" " GET BACK IN YOUR CAR" waving her arms in front of here, pushing and herding me back.
I have never witnessed such a display in all my life.
I was incredulous. "What the blank are you thinking letting your children play in traffic for blank's sake?' They could be killed, thank god I was able to stop "

She continued to holler at me and said that they had called the police! and I had better leave.
They called the police on me? I would think that child endangerment alone would prevent these people from calling the police.
"Fine, Call" I said
The police actually did come and after they calmed the woman down I believe they mentioned something to her about a busy road not being a playground, and said I could go and had, of course done nothing wrong.


The nerve of some people. I hope that they learn a lesson from this so we do not read about some tragic story in the newspaper.

Yeah, I agree with this post. I'm pretty non-confrontational, scratch that completely non-confrontational, but I have gotten out to tell someone their children were playing in the street. The last time I did this the children were running into the road (80km speed limit) to throw snowballs at cars. The Mom ended up owning the hotel and she was irate about being pulled away from the desk, she changed her tune when I let her know of the problem, but I had to wait until she stopped yelling and flapping her arms.

I knew I didn't want it on my conscience if I heard about a small boy hit by a car on the road. Maybe Aiden's Dad thought the same way.

Children at Play Signs are definitely NOT an encouragement to play in the road! If children are biking, they should stay over to the side obeying all traffic laws and looking both ways before crossing the road.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

OP here I should mention that since the incident I have told my husband NEVER to yell at ANY CAR AGAIN no matter what's going on with speed, etc etc...... this proves you never know what will happen!

I should also mention that it is common in my neighborhood to play in the street. The whole town, even, as long as it is not the main drags. We all ride bikes, skateboard, ride scooters, play ball etc etc.....There is even a sign at the entrance of my street that says " Watch for Children at Play "

Also I did not want to imply that b/c this guy was full of tattoos that he was a bad man in any matter. It's just something I remembered about him and also helped me calm him down seeing his sons name on his throat in a heart.....

Yes--here it is "legal" to play in a street that is not a main thoroughfare. And the main thoroghfare can be used provided the rules of the road are followed (i.e. for riding bikes, walking, etc!)

We do not have sidewalks and that is wear the kiddos ride the bikes.


I did have an incident in our neighborhood where a 2 yo was permitted to play with her brothers and they let her ride her scooter in teh street. The problem was, at her age, she didn't have the proper peripheral vision or the mental intellact to know look for cars each time at that age and we would haev to drive by the house ever so slowly just in case her little scooter darted out in the road.

One day, I pulled over and had a talk with her mom. Sadly, our street is a dead end, but those who don't konw it use it as a cross over. The speed limit is clearly marked 20mph and a car not knowing about this family and their 2yo's scooter habits, are going to nail her one day. (I was very polite, but that was the gist of what I was getting at.)

Of course the sons got spoken to , but at least better care was taken to stop her from doing this. Too bad it didn't involve adult supervision.

 

[bumbershoot]

I should also mention that it is common in my neighborhood to play in the street. The whole town, even, as long as it is not the main drags. We all ride bikes, skateboard, ride scooters, play ball etc etc.....There is even a sign at the entrance of my street that says " Watch for Children at Play " .

It's just the worst idea ever. Get the kids out of the street. Go to a park if there's nowhere else.

I once ended up in a situation where a kid on a bike hit my brand new car, because he and his friends thought the parking lot of a townhouse complex was the playground. He is LUCKY that I saw him beyond a shrub, because if he'd started a second earlier or later, I wouldn't have (I was heading one way he was coming perpendicular, and I saw him through a shrub opening). I knew he wouldn't have time to stop, and I knew I couldn't back up fast enough (the weird VW shift where you have to push down then move the gearshift slows you down), so all I could do was stop entirely so I had no velocity when he slammed into me. I was going the 5 miles an hour of the complex, but I wanted ZERO mph.

A few years ago we ended up moving out of an apartment complex for a few reasons, and one of the big reasons was because the parents let their kids play in the parking lot. And those kids would NOT move, they would stare you down as though you had driven into a parking lot.

Seriously, get everyone OUT of the street.

I think that Shrubber's version could very well been the driver's situation and version.

Signs posted advising of 'children at play' are for the purpose of alerting drivers be alert to kids accidentally running after balls that roll into the street, etc. The signs are not for the purpose of allowing kids to use the street as a basketball court or playground.

EXACTLY.

Nearby there's a "caution: deaf child" sign, and if I were to drive down that street I know to watch for a kid who can't hear me coming and might run out to grab a lost ball. I do NOT expect that the child is playing in the street.

IF you want to warn people that kids are playing in the street, have THAT sign made up. It'll be interesting, though, to see the reaction of the sign makers...

I thought it was quick and clever thinking. Get his mind off of the issue and keep him moving. Get him talking about something else, anything to diffuse the situation. Very clever.

But she didn't diffuse it. She then turned it into "omg you have a child", which could have made it WORSE.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Long story, somewhat short....

Yesterday, my husband was playing with my kids, 6 and almost 2, outside in the street. I live in a resort area, so, this time of year is quiet so we take advantage of the situation and ride bikes and play ball in front of my house. I live on a side street that has access to the beach, therefore in the summer people drive down the street to access it and we don't get much playtime in the street because of this. It is NOT a main street and during the off season we get maybe 2 dozen or so cars going down the street on any given day and these cars are mostly my neighbors coming and going.

While playing in the street, a car came by going at least 35 in a 25 with everyone OUT in the street on the side b/c of his speed. My husband said while he was speeding by " HEY SLOW down brother!"

I had just walked out onto my porch and the car came to a SCREECHING halt, the IRATE man got OUT of his car and CAME AT MY HUSBAND WHO WAS HOLDING MY 22 month old!!!!!!!!!!

I flew off the porch, I don't even think I hit a stair and immediately got between this man and my husband & baby, thinking he would not hit a woman, and just kept saying " Get back in your car! There are kids here! Please leave! Get back in your car " " Stop cursing ' etc etc.....

He was cursing up a storm, in front of the kids, unlike anyone I have ever heard!!! My husband whipped out his phone & dialed the police station and in the timeframe I managed to move him BACK to his car away from my husband and the kids b/c I am almost 6 ft tall, he was shorter than me and I'm not afraid of anyone esp. with my momma bear instincts flying!!! I had my arms outstretched trying to get into his personal space to move him away, which worked. It was scary to say the least b/c I had no idea WHAT he was going to do, he was so irate anything could have happened....

I calmed him down a bit, he was full of tattoos and 1 front & center on his neck said " Aiden " so I asked him who this was & he said " his 7 month old SON!" I then got mad and could not believe he was a DAD ACTING THIS WAY IN FRONT OF CHILDREN!!!! I just kept on saying please leave, please get in your car, police are coming etc etc..... I think he had issues with a woman telling him to do something etc etc...He finally got back to his car and was all hyped up freaking out cursing still

Police came, he told them I TOUCHED HIM ( didn't ) and he said he was only doing 23 down the st. Yeah, OK. He clearly was not b/c when he stopped the car, the tires screetched and the car rocked from front to back. The police said they could do nothing. I told the police I wanted them to get all his information b/c in the event of him trying to " get even " or something with us in the future b/c of what transpired, he'd be the 1st one we'd go to ( tires slashed, vandalism etc etc...)

I was and am scared for what transpired. We are the lowest key easy going people out there so I have no idea WHAT came over me! I think the whole image of him violently going at my husband who was holding the baby I saw him hitting them in my mind and something took over! I can not stop thinking of this man trying to break in here or do something to us. I have never had thoughts of fear like this in my life!!! The police literally did nothing. They asked me what I wanted them to do b/c they saw nothing and it was his word against ours.

They did get his info, turns out he lives here as well and was coming from 1 of my neighbors who was not home. My neighbor says he can't stand the guy, he always drops by and never leaves and is not the best example of a human being ( down on his luck, problems etc etc...) My neighbor said he'd ask him to stay away from my end of the street if he ever comes by again, but, my neighbor also said something interesting, he said " GOOD! now i have a reason to tell him to take a hike! For disrespecting the neighborhood and yelling at his friends! " So in my mind I'm like great just 1 more reason to give this crazy animal of a man retaliation thoughts against my family.

So anyway I just wanted to share this b/c I keep going over & over what I did and could have done.. Should I have grabbed the baby & my son and ran inside the house leaving my husband out there by himself? I think he would have most definatly gotten hit I dunno........I think what I did to try to calm the guy down and get him back into his car diffused the situation until the police came, which it did, but my kids witnessed the WHOLE THING and this makes me angry at myself!!! Thanks for letting me tell my story-sometimes I hate people and can not believe how they conduct themselves in public!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It looked like to me she kept her reaction (to the fact that he had a child) hidden and kept him moving. I could be wrong, but I don't see any indication that she showed her anger. It still looks to me, like she diffused the situation.