Convincing a Spouse

[jodifla]

We toured the properties....walking through a GV at OKW and the 3-bedrooms on the beach cinched the deal for us!


I also asked DH which kind of vacations he'd like in the future: One where we shared a room with our (future) children, or one where we had our very own room?

 

[MdmMim]

Be persistent. Catch them in the right mood. Make sure they are actually listening.

DH finally gave in after 3 years. (He was not a big Disney fan--"been there, done that" philosophy.)

He thought for the longest time that we had to repurchase each point every year, until he actually listened why this would save us money on rooms over the long haul. (I was going to WDW at least 3 times a year, staying in a deluxe.)

I never brought up the subject of DVC when he was in a an iffy or bad mood. I would gently start talking about Disney to see if he was receptive to discussing vacations. If yes, then I would forge onto DVC.

He finally agreed! And the BWV was ours.

He started going to WDW more often, now is an official AP holder, and loves his time there.

Good luck with your spouse.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

The whining, cajoling, wearing-down style of "convincing" just doesn't work in our house. Frankly, my DH would consider that approach insulting and dig in his heels. Not saying it couldn't work for others, this is just my experience. Here's what I did: I researched DVC, did all the calculations, became convinced that it was the right decision for our family. I presented all the information to DH. Then I walked away. Over the next few days, as he digested teh data, he woudl ask me questions, which I answered. I didn't press him in any way. Believe me, it took a lot of effort to let him take all the time he needed. But--it worked. He felt better about the decision because he reached it on his own.

For the amount of money involved, I think both spouses have to be completely confident. A spouse who feels duped is likely to become bitter.

Since an adults-only trip is in the offing, I would put off any decision until after that. Agree to both think about it, and take a tour while at WDW. No pressure, just fact-gathering. Let both of you see the full kitchen facilities, the whirlpool tub, the locations. Take a hard look at the contract terms and costs. It might even be helpful if one of you (ahem!) check resales, you know, just to have the information available on the off chance you wanted some comparisons.

 

[MaryPA]

I agree with "don't convince", discuss.

Chuck and I beat this subject to death with SSR. We just couldn't come to an agreement to actually do it.

Then we found the resales. Apparently SSR just did not appeal to us - but Boardwalk did. Once we found something we both liked - it was no problem.

 

[thepops]

We will be in Flordia at the end of April and we also live about 6 hours from Chicago. Are the incentives the same??? Or do you get better incentives at WDW?

From what I've read here, the incentives can be different, and I think the doorway to dreams have had a few more goodies thrown in, in the past. Just depends on the timing.

 

[PoohBear543]

I had talked about DVC at the last visit in 2007 but we didn't have time to do the tour. This Jan. my dad said "we're all taking the tour" and scheduled it. My DH wasn't excited and when I tried talking about it said, "I'm going to hear it all at the tour." We took the tour and after I asked DH, "what did you think?" He said, "I think we should do it." I was floored because it took 6 months of convincing him just to replace our 6 yr. old 100,000 mile+ car. As someone else said, DVC sold itself and now we own 200 points at SSR (resales are the way to go btw).

 

[kelly4me]

I did a TON of research on the program. I had all the facts and figures that I could gather in order to answer DH's questions. I did appeal to 'you get your football, golf, etc' - this is my "thing". I've always been a big Disney fan and I really wanted to share that with our (3 1/2 yo) son. It took some time, but DH finally came around. We rented points for a couple of nights - I think that really helped. He was able to see the rooms and a couple of the different hotels that were available. I hope that we'll love it as much as I think we will!

 

[princessfionasmom]

but I went with something similar to kid_@_50. I had been talking to DH about it and all he kept seeing was the inital cost and was not thinking beyond that. So I kept telling him I was going to buy a small contract resale and he kept saying no so I went ahead and bought it (if you knew us, this would not surprise you and I had the $ set aside for it), put his name on it and that was that. So when we were @ WDW in Dec (we had rented points from a friend for that visit before I bought ours) we stayed at SSR and DH really loved have the kitchenette (I know if we stayed in a 1bed he'd be hooked on those too). So we checked out OKW which is where I bought my small 50pt resale contract and when we were there I said "welcome home". He looked at me funny and then I told him I had bought a small contract and of course his first Q was how much it cost. But I didn't tell him that first, first I explained how we get to stay at OKW or the other ones and what our 50pts gets us and then told him how much I spent. I told him I could sell it if he was really truly against it but to think about the fact that we go every year, and how much he really likes the studio and how much it would cost to rent the studio. After a few mins of thinking about it he put on a big smile and said to me "this really makes you happy, doesn't it" of course I said "yes" and he said "then that's all that really matters" and he kissed me. Never did I think it would end that way but soooooo glad it did. Now for our trip this year we were booked at OKW for 9 days and I was checking out BLT online and he looked over and said "wow can we stay there?", then seeing the MK view he got all excited. This is something we could not do without DVC $ wise. So we are staying 3 nights BLT lake view, waitlisted for mk view. The kicker is I think he is seriously considering adding on there! Sorry this is so long and again I do not recommend this. You know your spouse, and I had a guess how mine would react but GOOD LUCK!!!

 

[arthur06]

I called my guide on Thursday and had everything ready to go! Financing, the UY I wanted, I only wanted 100 points to start at AKL. (and they have the 100 point buy in right now). 10% down, but the $6.25 per point could be applied to down payment. So with closing it was $763ish that day. $162 a month plus maint. fees. Plus he said that he could give us 100 banked 08 points! He told me not to tell you guys on here! (oops)!

So, I told my wife, and she was NOT happy! She got the the point where she said fine, do it! But when you are spending $10,000 its hard to not do it together! I need to just do it, but I don't want her to regret this purchase and every vacation that it stands for! She thinks that it is a ripoff. It only pays for a hotel? We still have to pay to get there...UMMMM....NO!!!!!!(that's what she said).

I guess, I need a new strategy!

 

[crisi]

It sounds like your wife probably has financial concerns. In which case, don't press. Understand her concerns and - if you can - compromise (and if you can't compromise, she wins - spending a lot of money when she has said no is not a good way to keep your marriage healthy - and wearing her down by pressing for it may result in resentment). Understand what each of you has in mind for financial goals - you want to vacation each year, does she see college funds for your kids being more important? Or being able to travel in retirement? What is she holding onto the money for - it may be as simple as concerns about the economy. You are in the position wanting to finance - would she be more secure if you had cash in hand? Save up. Look for a small resale you can pay cash for.

BTW, your wife is right - it only pays for your room (and it isn't your 'hotel' - its a timeshare - make sure you understand the difference). You still need to get there, you still need park tickets, you still need food. It is still an expensive vacation. There are cheaper ways to vacation at Disney than owning DVC - and plenty of offsite timeshares for a family of five to be had at a fraction of the cost.

 

[5forDiz]

Have you looked at smaller resales and could you pay that cash ?

Maybe your spouse would find that agreeable & it gives your family the opportunity to do some DVC'ing without commiting to buying more points/spending more money at the get go.

With banking you'd have double amount of pts EOY, with both banking&borrowing you'd have triple amount of pt every 3rd year.

If you know that your family will not consistently plan a trip at more then 7 months in advance you may even want to consider small VB resale contract, even though VB's MFs are highest, just to get your foot in the door at lowest possible price per point ( recently saw some VB resales around $50 per pt ). imho, I'd take the time to run the numbers for SSR because there have been some great resale prices there recently, it's onsite at WDW, 2054 expiration, THVs have 3 bedrooms & sleep 9 for same pts per night as 2 bedroom villa and 2009 MFs are in $4.7something per point range.

If you start small you can always build on it if you find DVC is the right fit for your spouse, you & your family....add-on contracts through Disney do not have any closing costs and can be purchased for as little as 25 points when paying cash or a minimum of 50 points if you'd want Disney's financing.

 

[hsteacher]

I showed my DH the vacation math from our past 27 years of Disney vacations and reminded him that we should have done it way back and would have had nice rooms and saved money (even with MF's). We bought resale so I don't have a 50 yr contract but we certainly plan to continue to visit Disney and our older children consider the parks or the cruise their frist vacation choice and they're 24 and 17 yo.! Our Disney vacations include a few years with 2 trips to the World or World and a cruise. We've been on 6 Disney Cruises so the math works.

 

[mybabesuz]

I called my guide on Thursday and had everything ready to go! Financing, the UY I wanted, I only wanted 100 points to start at AKL. (and they have the 100 point buy in right now). 10% down, but the $6.25 per point could be applied to down payment. So with closing it was $763ish that day. $162 a month plus maint. fees. Plus he said that he could give us 100 banked 08 points! He told me not to tell you guys on here! (oops)!

So, I told my wife, and she was NOT happy! She got the the point where she said fine, do it! But when you are spending $10,000 its hard to not do it together! I need to just do it, but I don't want her to regret this purchase and every vacation that it stands for! She thinks that it is a ripoff. It only pays for a hotel? We still have to pay to get there...UMMMM....NO!!!!!!(that's what she said).

I guess, I need a new strategy!

You really need to experience DVC. You should rent points for your next vacation.
Stay there and she will be hooked... I promise...

It is SUCH a savings. I priced out my Vacation I am planning for December.
We booked a 2BR and 2 Studios at AKV Christmas Week.
The OOP cost for these rooms would be over $15000...
That's right...just one vacation and we got our moneys worth
already.
It all depends what kind of vacationing your family wants to do.
How large your family is...ect...with three kids one regular room will not be an option for long...
We have 6 kids and didn't really enjoy the value resorts.
We visited AKL to eat at Boma and were hooked
we both fell in love with it.
It just felt like home...
Good Luck...

 

[arthur06]

Have you looked at smaller resales and could you pay that cash ?

Maybe your spouse would find that agreeable & it gives your family the opportunity to do some DVC'ing without commiting to buying more points/spending more money at the get go.

With banking you'd have double amount of pts EOY, with both banking&borrowing you'd have triple amount of pt every 3rd year.

If you know that your family will not consistently plan a trip at more then 7 months in advance you may even want to consider small VB resale contract, even though VB's MFs are highest, just to get your foot in the door at lowest possible price per point ( recently saw some VB resales around $50 per pt ). imho, I'd take the time to run the numbers for SSR because there have been some great resale prices there recently, it's onsite at WDW, 2054 expiration, THVs have 3 bedrooms & sleep 9 for same pts per night as 2 bedroom villa and 2009 MFs are in $4.7something per point range.

If you start small you can always build on it if you find DVC is the right fit for your spouse, you & your family....add-on contracts through Disney do not have any closing costs and can be purchased for as little as 25 points when paying cash or a minimum of 50 points if you'd want Disney's financing.

The one major them that I have noticed on these boards is #1. Buy where you want to stay! #2. Buy smaller contracts.

I'll address the Buy where you want to stay. I do not want to stay at SSR nor buy a VB to save a few bucks up front. I have 3 boys (8,2,5mo.). A 1BR at AKL sleeps 5, so that is an option, a 1BR at SSR sleeps 4. My kids are big animal lovers (as much as you can tell at this age) and that is where I want to be!

Now, the smaller contracts. I can buy 100 AKL points now for $112 per point, with $6.25 off. So $105.75 per point or $10,575 total. The financial part isn't the problem.

We have $0 credit card debt and only owe on one car (which is about $5200). We own our home, but would like to buy a bigger one! We want a 4 bedroom! I'm not saying we are rich, cause we are not, but we can afford it.

I look at vacations as a necessity and she looks at them as a luxury. I work full time, she works part time. Growing up we never traveled anywhere, couldn't afford it! My wife's family always went places.

 

[arthur06]

...just to add...

If I started with 100 AKL points, that serves our needs for right now. I would like to eventually add on 100 BLT points, then another 100 at CGV or Hawaii or ??? and 50 at BWV.

That would give me 350 points per year. It would also allow me and DW 4 or 5 days a year at BWV for Food and Wine, we are big foodies. I run a restaurant! And smaller contracts for my kids someday. Easier to sell, variety, just alot of options!

 

[kerickson]

My situation was a little different. My husband was the one who got us to stop at a DVC kiosk to learn more about the program. I was thinking in my mind: no way we'd want to purchase a Disney timeshare.
A year later we were staying with friends at the GCH on their points, took a tour, and thought this actually made sense for our family! Once home, my husband said 'work the numbers and do what you think is best'.
So then I argued, cajoled, and eventually talked myself into it!

Then VGC Founding Member period came around and I had go through the whole process with myself again!

 

[5forDiz]

...just to add...

If I started with 100 AKL points, that serves our needs for right now. I would like to eventually add on 100 BLT points, then another 100 at CGV or Hawaii or ??? and 50 at BWV.

good idea on separate contracts for estate purposes. and also, in event you decide a resort is not to your liking in the future you can sell off that contract if you wish (smaller contracts are usually easier to sell).

It sounds like AKV covers what you're most looking for and Kidani's feature pool will probably be a hit with your boys as well One of your earlier posts said you're couple hours from Chicago, iirc DVC center there has walk through AKV model villa, don't know if you can manage to get her there before you go to wdw in April but it couldn't hurt

 

[arthur06]

I would really prefer to buy direct from Disney. Not worried about a stripped contract, compromising on UY, and the price is close enough for AKL for me. If I was buying SSR I would go resale, but gotta buy where I want to stay! And with the 100 point buy in for AKL, I like the timing.

 

[Brian Noble]

need to just do it, but I don't want her to regret this purchase

No, you don't need to just do it.

Putting on my Dr. Phil hat: this is a purchase that the two of you both have to feel comfortable about, unless you have split bank accounts. If you have "yours, mine, and ours" money, then feel free to pay for it out of "yours".

The Mrs. Dr. Noble and I have fully marged finances, and we each have individual discretion for any purchase under $X. Anything over $X requires informing the other, with the possibility of a veto. $X is a "reasonable" number, but a 100pt DVC contract would not fall under that limit.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

No, you don't need to just do it.

Putting on my Dr. Phil hat: this is a purchase that the two of you both have to feel comfortable about, unless you have split bank accounts. If you have "yours, mine, and ours" money, then feel free to pay for it out of "yours".

The Mrs. Dr. Noble and I have fully marged finances, and we each have individual discretion for any purchase under $X. Anything over $X requires informing the other, with the possibility of a veto. $X is a "reasonable" number, but a 100pt DVC contract would not fall under that limit.

I have to second this. You need to respect her viewpoint enough to agree on a big financial purchase. You would be better served trying to find her reasoning on why she's uncomfortable--she might have valid reasons, or just not ready, emotionally, to make a purchase. I like the idea of renting points, as a test drive of sorts. In the mean time, you might want to try listening--really listening--to her concerns. Don't just bat them away. They might not make sense to you, but if they are her concerns, they are valid.