You know, the older I get, the more I am grateful for the fact that I'm a pessimist! Always expect and prepare for the worst, and then be delightfully and pleasantly surprised if things go right, or at least a little bit better. After every single nurse and doctor saying my mom did not need chemo, the chemo doctor says today "Well, I'm on the fence. The tumor was small, slow growing, non-aggressive, and hadn't spread. But test results show it was hormonally-caused, and something hormone-connected in your bloodwork we took today made me wonder more about this. So, I could either give you pills or pills and chemo. I'm not sure. So, I'm ordering a $3,000 test be done on the tumor that won't be back for 3 weeks." Nurse talks to her later and says it should've been set up last week. It wasn't, naturally, and they couldn't send it for further testing until she gave them all kinds of financial information because insurance probably won't cover it because it's not absolutely necessary. I don't understand this! Her surgeon had the same results, and he said she needed pills. He's the top cancer doctor in the state. Everyone else agreed with him. But Mr. Chemo, who had said he didn't think she'd need anything from him, now says: "Well, I'm on the fence." None of this is to treat her now; it's all preventative for down the road.
Radiation was supposed to start in a couple weeks, and now she probably won't even be told whether she needs chemo until the beginning of March. He said if he decides she does, it'll last 3 or 4 months and then be followed by the radiation. So now, unless the results come back in 2 weeks, and she
doesn't need chemo (which I'm sure he'll say she needs, why not, everything else goes wrong it seems), and she starts radiation right then, our WDW trip is DOA. I was so excited about that, because I thought all this would be over and we would celebrate. Now either we won't go at all this year or we can't go until May, and one of us will have to spend our birthday down there. I did that last year, don't care to do it again. Although at this point the WDW trip is the least of my worries. I'm so worried she'll have to get chemo, and I'm worried more because she'll have to tell my grandmother. I don't know if she can handle this news. She has dangerously high blood pressure and a lot of other health problems, and I know she'd be in danger of having a stroke once she found all this out.
I keep bursting into tears, I'm so frustrated I want to throw something, and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do about the Disney trip that has to be paid off before she gets the test results. I don't know if they'd allow it to be modified due to the circumstances or what. I need to start applying for jobs again because they toss my applications after a year, and I don't even know how I'm supposed to do that, dealing with all this. Or if I could even accept a full-time job in the positions I'd apply for, because she might need someone to take care of her. I'm at my rope's end. The anniversary of my grandfather's death is this weekend too, and I'm just really, really sad right now. I really need prayers.
Oh my gosh. Watching CNN and they have breaking news. Obama is on his first flight on Air Force On. What is so newsworthly about this?? He is on his wayto Kingmill Resort in Wiliamsburg. (partially on taxpayers dollars) Nice place, I have stayed there twice. Can this man be more vain???
Why is he in Williamsburg? Can't he go harass some other city, other than my college town? Blah. One more piece of news to make me cranky.
Then he ended it with, "Good night. I love y'all."
The audience went wild and someone yelled out, "Fire it up!!"
My babies will wear that and I'll be one proud mommy!!!!
I made it to FLORIDA! 
