Confirmation- jumping through hoops.

[java]

Man are they a tad demanding. By they I mean my church. My oldest is making his confirmation this year and we are being asked for a whole heck of bunch of info. Soon I think they will ask us to sign a blood contract. We have meetings after meetings after meetings. And I still don't know what they were trying to tell us other than make sure they wear black shoes? who knew that took 5 hours.
So did you have to basically prove your Catholicness when your child was making Confirmation?(oh and this is a tiny church - tiny tiny- so we are not strangers)
And am I going to Hell for complaining about Confirmation?

 

[paras4ri]

I feel your pain - we're going through the same here. LOL about the black shoes. The big issue here is that the girls have to wear shoes, not sandals, and appropriate stockings. How many teenage girls out there now wear shoes and stockings????

 

[kejoda]

I hear ya. WE have 2 years of Confirmation readiness here. And man don't miss a meeting. My son was running a fever with the running/sneezing nose and some coughing. They still wanted him there. I told them no he's contagious.

 

[aprilgail2]

My friends son is making his and going to the "classes" right now. They are required to do SO many fundraising projects. The "kids" (yea right, try parents!) have to organize and run these events and all the money they raise gets handed over to the church. My friend is getting a very bitter taste in her mouth right now about it all, it seems they are using confirmation as an excuse to turn the kids into money making machines for the church. In the last 2 events the kids ran they raised over 10,000 and they ahve a bunch more required before they will be permitted to make their confirmation.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

I think at our parish it is good that they encourage the sponsors to attend also, since the idea is to bring you closer, and lead a Catholic life.

But, on the other hand, my daughter missed an obligatory "super-Saturday," so was dropped from the program in her 2nd year. She's 19 now and I don't see any commitment on her part to confirm, though she's an active member. So, what does the parish accomplish in making it so hard for people to confirm?

 

[java]

Well I am glad(maybe not glad) to see that I am not alone in this. Our church requires community service vs. the fundraising(I get to pay a fee though) So the community service thing is one that my ds took very seriously- and when he turned it in was disappointed to see that all you needed was a note from your mom saying you did it- not the letters he had gotten all his places to write.
I even offered to start up a website for them- and get an email chain going- we are only talking 30 kids here not a huge amount to keep in touch with. But they seemed to think it was unnecessary. We'll see I guess. Oh and we are the lucky loser parish that gets the Confirmation on Memorial Day weekend. We're low on the totem pole I guess.

 

[paras4ri]

DS was also required to do community service - and he did enjoy the work he did for both the YMCA and our local soccer club. They have an all-day retreat coming up in a few weeks - from 9-4 on a Friday - and the church actually contacted all the high schools to allow their absence.

 

[java]

DS was also required to do community service - and he did enjoy the work he did for both the YMCA and our local soccer club. They have an all-day retreat coming up in a few weeks - from 9-4 on a Friday - and the church actually contacted all the high schools to allow their absence.

We have that retreat on a Saturday.

 

[mdrob214]

We are Methodist, not Catholic. You'd think it would be easier for my DD to get confirmed

She has to:

1. attend weekly services and write up on 18 or 20 of them (how they make her feel about Jesus and church, etc.) and turn that in to her mentor
2. She has a mentor whom she meets with regularly and must complete a confirmation workbook (she has only 2 lessons left)
3. She must do 37 hours (that's how many weeks she's been in class) of volunteering--this sounds so easy but really it is difficult with school and other activities/sports I think she has 10-15 left
4. If she misses classes on Sun mornings (only time offered) she has to write a 2page paper on that Chapter of Luke that they studied in class ( I get that they don't want her missing but some chapters of Luke are nearly impossible to write 2 pages on unless she writes them out (2x!) They are short!
She is a swimmer (and meets are Sat and Sun mornings so she's missed 4 or so classes, but they are good about that at least)

5. She must attend 6 or 7 (?) Youth group meetings. THey don't meeet every week or even every month so I think she only has 4 right now. Hopefully they'll give her a bye on that one!

They have had the State Confirmation Day in the State Capital (she missed--swim meet) and there will be a weekend retreat (she'll be late due to a school committment) I have yet to hear what the clothing requirements are. I don't believe there really are any--other than common sense. I am making her wear a dress and nice shoes, much to her great dismay.

I do understand there has to be a commitment made if these kids want to be confirmed, but I think some of these are a little overkill. None of these are difficult to complete, though.

 

[wowsmom]

So here's a question for you...

How many of you had to jump through all these hoops when you were confirmed?

I was confirmed in 7th grade (I'm 44 now). I don't remember having to do anything other than choose a sponsor and show up (and I think there was a rehearsal the day before). I did attend Catholic school, so maybe they covered stuff there and I just don't remember it? But there was no community service, no writing letters, no special classes or meetings, nothing like that at all.

 

[Cool-Beans]

I don't think you're going to hell. You're just sane! Our school has gone batty with all the crap they make us do, too.

When my first was doing his First Confession/Communion I asked my mother if she had to do all that crap - go to meetings at the school, meet with other parents in their homes, etc. She said, "No, I did not. I sent you off to school and when you came home I asked, 'How was it?'" I was so jealous.

They make it such a pain in the *** that it detracts from the joy. Each time, I'm more glad it is over than just plain glad.

 

[Pin Wizard]

But, on the other hand, my daughter missed an obligatory "super-Saturday," so was dropped from the program in her 2nd year. She's 19 now and I don't see any commitment on her part to confirm, though she's an active member. So, what does the parish accomplish in making it so hard for people to confirm?

Unreal!!!!! I was active while DS was in a catholic school kinder through 5th. When we moved I was completely burned out. Didn't do a thing for the school in VA...but I'm sure that had more to do with them requiring quadruple the volunteer hours! Any way, they really lost me when I found out there's two years of prep for Confirmation. DS has made his sacraments with the exception of that. If/when he's ready to make that commitment on his own, then he's more than welcome. I'm still way too ticked about the bad apples in the church in general. No, I'm not sending my teenage son to them.

 

[MELSMICE]

They make it such a pain in the *** that it detracts from the joy. Each time, I'm more glad it is over than just plain glad.

We've pretty much taken that attitude now also.

How about this though - the students continually get lectured about attending religion & not missing for any reason at all & also make sure they attend church. They MUST turn in their envelopes for attendance to be counted. OK - no big deal.

But, what gets me is that for religion they have a 19 year old girl teaching it that butts head with many of the 15 & 16 year old boys. She can not handle or control them so what do they do during class................

Well.............they have been watching the hockey games the past few weeks. Last week the boys gave her such a hard time that 20 minutes in to the class she yelled at the class & told them she didn't want to deal with them & told them all to leave!

My kids are getting nothing out of this, yet, if they don't attend they have the potential of not making their confirmation. It is a total waste of their time, IMO.

But, on the other hand, my daughter missed an obligatory "super-Saturday," so was dropped from the program in her 2nd year. She's 19 now and I don't see any commitment on her part to confirm, though she's an active member. So, what does the parish accomplish in making it so hard for people to confirm?

That's just so sad, because IMO all they do is turn more people away from the church & their teachings.

 

[Pin Wizard]

So here's a question for you...

How many of you had to jump through all these hoops when you were confirmed?

I was confirmed in 7th grade (I'm 44 now). I don't remember having to do anything other than choose a sponsor and show up (and I think there was a rehearsal the day before). I did attend Catholic school, so maybe they covered stuff there and I just don't remember it? But there was no community service, no writing letters, no special classes or meetings, nothing like that at all.

We were in 5th or 6th grade when we were confirmed. I did attend a catholic school, and it was covered in our religion class. But that was it! Rehearsal in the church, got the white gown with red strips running down, and showed up in church with my sponsor. That's it! That's the way it should be in my book. I really wonder how many people they are losing with the two-year prep.

 

[hildasmuriel]

WOW! Hard work.

I was confirmed as an adult in the Church of England.

A few weeks of meetings (about one hour a week) and that was it - we were ready for the Bishop to come along and confirm us.

I signed up for it in September and was confirmed in November.

 

[englishteacha]

Wow...I really enjoyed my confirmation. I'm Protestant (Congregational UCC). I was confirmed in 8th grade. I had a mentor and we met on occasion, I read the book of Luke, and we did some activities together as a whole "confirmation class." Our confirmation was part of a regular church service, and after church we had cake and punch and balloons. I belong to a different church now (same faith) and 7 or 8 kids were confirmed last year, pretty much the same process. They did some youth group-style activities together, and those kids have now become our Senior High Youth Group. They love God, each other, and being active in the church. Isn't that what confirmation is about??

 

[Fantasmic303]

You guys got me worried - I'm sponsoring a kid in a couple of weeks, and I got a little nervous about the dress code!! Luckily I just asked her, and she said the only thing they were warned about was no sneakers...I think I can handle that.

It's been a while since I've been to a confirmation (about 15 years - it was my own!) - I can't remember what the actual ceremony is like. Anyone want to give me the Cliff Notes for a Catholic Confirmation? I keep asking the kid if we have a rehearsal or something, but she's totally clueless, lol. She's more concerned about the fact that she chose Hedwig as her name (yes, because it's Harry Potter's owl) than anything else - apparently she didn't realize the names are announced to the church!

 

[wdw4us2]

We are in the midst of the first year of Confirmation with DS. DD made hers two years ago.

Since she made hers, the meetings have been changed from Sunday evenings after 5 pm Mass to an additional twice monthly Wednesday evening meetings. The volunteer requirement is still 50 hours (accumulated over 3 years). Three mandatory parents meetings (although people who miss them still manage to have their kids confirmed. . . ) each year.

I understand that they are trying to make the kids understand the importance of being Confirmed. However, by making everything mandatory and threatening the parents and kids makes them resentful of what should be a special time in their religious life.

 

[lyeag]

My oldest is being confirmed in about 2 weeks. We have dealt with 2 years of classes, signing in at masses, MANY hours of special projects and service hours, as well as several mandatory meetings.

I attended catholic school and was confirmed in 8th grade. I don't remember any of this other than a few school related service projects. I agree with other posters, the church is driving the younger ones away with these new programs.

 

[disykat]

I'm not Catholic (Lutheran), but I've found it has gotten easier over the years to get confirmed. All the people in my age group and older like to tell the young ones about the "question day" when all our parents and members of the congregation got to quiz us in front of the congregation on Luther's Cathecism, etc.

I remember my brother's confirmation class was small so they each had to prepare a speech (basically a testimony) for Confirmation Sunday. This replaced the sermon that day. My sister's class had to pick a Bible verse and talk about what it meant to them. My class was large, so in the interest of time, we each just recited our verse. Whew!

Now, in all the churches I've been involved in they have two years of instruction and then get confirmed during a short ceremony during the church service. They get to skip the quiz and speeches. Everytime either of my sons whines about writing sermon notes, I pull out the old "when I did it I had to walk 3 miles through the snow" speech.

Everyone I know goes through confirmation (again, not Catholic), but if they don't, can't they just wait until they reach 18 and join the church (if they wish to) through a new member class as an adult?