Does this mean Dan has made it to the Rocky Mountains in his quest to find free lodging throughout the entire country?
Welcome Dan to the state that time forgot. I am your host and governor of the great state of Idaho, Mr. Potatohead. The first thing you no doubt recognized in our state is the abundance of small potato children playing in the dirt in our fields. We lovingly refer to these youngsters as Tater Tots. Many of them have great ambitions to one day be a #1 Baker and take their place on fine dining tables all over the world. There is no mistaking an Idaho potato; its skin is firm and free of defects not to be confused with those pathetic tubers from Maine. But our beautiful state is not made up strictly of vegetables. Oh no, we have our share of wild life. Nearly every night when the sun goes down and the sidewalks are rolled up for the evening, that is when the fun begins. You can find coyotes, bears, deer, elk, and moose grazing and that is just in your backyard. We also have thriving businesses in our illustrious state. Why just the other day we installed the latest in high technology. There is a new device out called a telephone. It allows your voice to carry over a wire, can you even imagine? We are now installing the infrastructure so that these devices can be installed both in homes and barns. No more yelling to the pigs, simply pick up the phone. Idaho is also home to the United States government. There is one of the largest nuclear sites in the country just outside the second largest city in the state. This nuclear site is 17 square miles smaller than Rhode Island and just as toxic. It was home to the first nuclear reactor EBR-1. Using this reactor as a demonstration, they produced enough energy to light Atomic City (4 houses and a truck). Now they lead the country in research on nuclear waste. I guess they are now lighting the environment in other ways. Idaho is home to some of the greatest fly-fishing in the world and home to some of the greatest fishing stories ever told. I guess nuclear waste isn't the only type of BS that is produced here. The weather is also wonderful. Since records have been kept, there is not a month during the year that Idaho has not gotten snow. There is nothing quite like watching an Independence day parade where the floats have chains on their tires. And who can forget the wonderful Halloween nights when all the children dressed up as Eskimos to trick-or-treat? The old adage holds true here, "if you don't like the weather in Idaho, just wait a minute and it will change." Oh, and the culture! It is splendid to see and hear those all around you. It is especially interesting to listen to the local dialect. Where else in the country do people refer to the glove box in their car as a "jockey box" or the median between the lanes of a divided highway referred to as the "borrow pit". But my favorite is when my grandmother refers to people in distress as having a "conniption fit". In all, it is a wonderful state full of great scenery and wonderful people.
In closing, I leave you with the immortal words of Chief Joseph, one of the greatest Nez Pierce Indian chiefs who ever lived and resident of Idaho, "It does not require many words to speak the truth."
Jeff
In case you're wondering, my grandmother is not from Idaho, and probably never even visited Idaho.
