ToddB
Earning My Ears
- Joined
- Sep 15, 2011
- Messages
- 73
Well, I don't mind sharing my coming out story. I hope it may help you a little. But first and foremost, I hope that you gather to courage to come out. It does take a lot of bravery in order to do it. Without further ado...~
When I was little, I always knew that I was different. I didn't quite know *what* it was, but I knew it was something. I guess my mother should've known, too. I was two or three when the Little Mermaid first came out, and I would cry every time we went to K-Mart or Wal-Mart wanting Ariel dolls ...and I always wanted to watch Sailor Moon, or The Little Mermaid, or Cinderella, Snow...do you get the idea? I never played with GI Joes or anything. So, for elementary school I went to a biological sciences academy and started playing a saxophone. This got me into an Arts middle school, and the equivalent of teenage Sodom and Gomorah! LOL...Not really, but still. I figured it out. I was gay, like the other people were. Like other people on this thread, I had a sort of religious debate with myself. If God hates gays, then why make them gay? Of course, this was like 1998-ish, so there was still the social debate over choice/no-choice. A lot of my friends still thought it was a choice, (which, by the way...since people have pretty much accepted it's not a choice, why do we still have lawmakers that are ****heads? I mean, they used to argue it was a choice, now what they propose is even more devious...''We get that it's not a choice, but we STILL want you to suffer! '-.-'!) ...anyway, there was always a distinct separation. I was out at school, but closeted at home. I was always mortified when my French teacher, Madame Granzow, would talk to my mother. I was always petrified for some reason she would slip. Anyway, ...we moved to a suburb of Savannah in a different county, and I went BACK in the closet. Then slowly, I just got tired of the questions and came out again. Being a smaller town, it was a lot easier to get back to my Mom. She flipped out. It was NOT pretty. Sparing the nitty gritty details, (it was never dramatic to the point that I got kicked out or anything) I would say that now she's completely fine with it and apologized profusely for her behavior that she showed earlier in life. She said that she always knew I was gay, she just never saw society becoming as accepting as it. You know, it's funny. We all have coming out stories, and most of the time we bury them. I haven't even thought about my mother flipping out in YEARS...probably because of the fact that it's been so fine since then, and like she said, ...she never didn't not WANT me to be gay, she didn't want me to have to face society. I'm not old enough to have any deeply insightful Yoda-ish words of wisdom, but since we're in the same generation I'll just say... do what feels right. If you don't ''feel it'' this week, or next week, when you do feel like it, just do it. It's sort of like getting on the Tower of Terror, once you buckle your seat belt, you have to stay on the whole time and just grin and bear it. Then once you start dropping and lifting, you realize it's not so bad, afterall...gaaaa' I hope that wasn't too cheesy.
Thanks for your story, and believe me any type of encouragement helps. I was like you too! I had an Ariel doll and a Belle doll as well as other Barbies and baby dolls that my mom and aunts bought for me. Now I did have some boy toys like tonka trucks and stuff but they were mostly for my dolls to ride around in, lol.