Coming Out?

[Captain Hookup]

I was about to say I am the type but then I like money more than a day off so I save my sick days which I get paid for at end of year.
Sometimes the lazy in me wins out haha

 

[NurseAllen]

You know, the last place I worked for would take people's PTO days before they took their sick days. I thought it was down right illegal, but... that's Effingham hospital for you

 

[Captain Hookup]

Our pto is paid time and half if we don't use but they strongly "encourage " us to use them. It can get ugly lol

 

[ToddB]

Hey guys, just thought I would let you know I have started posting my trip report in the regular forum for trip reports in case you want to read it. It is more of a picture report than anything right now, lol.

 

[NurseAllen]

With tooth picks holding my eyelids open, I read the beginnings of your report..! Looks like you had fun. Now let me reply to the other threads I've been active on. Gosh, you Disney Queens are certainly keeping me busy at night!

 

[Yellosno]

reading this stuff has kinda helped me im 17 and ive just started coming out to my friends everyone ive told is cool with it but my parents will be a whole different story as they are very old fashion and very vocal on how they think it is wrong and in the same league as rape and pedophilia so ive decided to wait and tell them once i live on my own or in college (a year and a half away!!) but i don't think i will ever tell my grandpa just because he didnt talk to my cousin for about 15 years because she scared him one day or something like that and they have only recently fixed that but good luck with your family!

 

[jeanigor]

Can you post a link to your trip report?

 

[ToddB]

Can you post a link to your trip report?

Here is a link, it should be for the first page of the topic. Just updated it with Day 4 of the trip. ~Todd

http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=2845308

 

[NurseAllen]

First and foremost I'd like to start out by saying, NONE of you are my friends anymore! I've been MIA for over a week and none of you have called, twittered, texted, facebooked, myspaced, tagged, googled, e-mailed, faxed, beeped, or foursquared me! Secondly, I hope everyone is doing fine and everyone's Christmas is going GREAT!

 

[Captain Hookup]

First and foremost I'd like to start out by saying, NONE of you are my friends anymore! I've been MIA for over a week and none of you have called, twittered, texted, facebooked, myspaced, tagged, googled, e-mailed, faxed, beeped, or foursquared me! Secondly, I hope everyone is doing fine and everyone's Christmas is going GREAT!

umm hello?

 

[NurseAllen]

I must amend my previous statement to say not one of you EXCEPT our magnifcent and illustrious, fearless Captain has spoken to me! Now that I'm over this cold,...! I have the energy to chastise y'all!

 

[Taylor_moonwalker]

I am also trying to come out to my family. my friends know i'm Bi and i have a girlfriend that im taking to Disney for Spring Break. my mom still thinks we are best friends and nothing more. i dont know if i should tell her before the trip or after. She said she would be supportive of me no matter what, but i sense the "i'm lying to make you feel better" tone in her voice. what should i do?

 

[CamoMama]

Good morning all. My 14 year old daughter came out to me on NYE. I had an inkling, although I've been gone in Afghanistan for a year and she didn't want to tell me until I was home and settled back in. As a mother I can tell you that it's not an easy thing to hear. I am straight, but have always been a friend to the GLBT community. I have many gay and transgender friends whom I adore. But when it's your kid, it's a bitter pill to swallow. Because I have so many friends in the GLBT community, and I know what some people go through, it's hard for me to deal with. Life is hard enough, I don't want my baby to have more issues. But of course, I love her and will support her no matter what. I told her that if she has any questions I have several gay girlfriends who would be happy to talk to her. She's pretty grounded, but I worry. It's my job as a mom.

 

[jeanigor]

Good morning all. My 14 year old daughter came out to me on NYE. I had an inkling, although I've been gone in Afghanistan for a year and she didn't want to tell me until I was home and settled back in. As a mother I can tell you that it's not an easy thing to hear. I am straight, but have always been a friend to the GLBT community. I have many gay and transgender friends whom I adore. But when it's your kid, it's a bitter pill to swallow. Because I have so many friends in the GLBT community, and I know what some people go through, it's hard for me to deal with. Life is hard enough, I don't want my baby to have more issues. But of course, I love her and will support her no matter what. I told her that if she has any questions I have several gay girlfriends who would be happy to talk to her. She's pretty grounded, but I worry. It's my job as a mom.

Thank you.

 

[tzolkin]

Good morning all. My 14 year old daughter came out to me on NYE. I had an inkling, although I've been gone in Afghanistan for a year and she didn't want to tell me until I was home and settled back in. As a mother I can tell you that it's not an easy thing to hear. I am straight, but have always been a friend to the GLBT community. I have many gay and transgender friends whom I adore. But when it's your kid, it's a bitter pill to swallow. Because I have so many friends in the GLBT community, and I know what some people go through, it's hard for me to deal with. Life is hard enough, I don't want my baby to have more issues. But of course, I love her and will support her no matter what. I told her that if she has any questions I have several gay girlfriends who would be happy to talk to her. She's pretty grounded, but I worry. It's my job as a mom.

Ugh. I'm feeling the same way with my DD. She is 12 (will be 13 this week) and she came out to DH and I and a few close friends last spring. She has now basically come out to everyone (partially because she was tired of listening to general homophobic comments and the "gay" insult constantly being tossed around among her peers). Of course now she is dealing with major bullying including being told she should "just kill yourself".

Before everyone knew, DH tried to tell her that's she's just a kid and she doesn't need to discuss her sexuality with anyone other than us at this point. But, how do you tell someone "I love you for who you are" but then seem like it's something shameful that should be kept a secret?

My best friend was tormented throughout HS. He couldn't even take gym classes or use the regular restrooms for fear of violence (And he didn't actually "come out" until we were in college). I will be perfectly happy if all of my kids are gay, but I just wish I could shield them from other people at least while they're going through the teen years which are difficult enough.

 

[CamoMama]

I'm so sorry that your daughter is dealing with that. Em had told me that she was having some issues at school of course she didn't tell me exactly what until the other night, but I digress. She told me that she would be perfectly happy to move away from the town and school system that she's been in since 5th grade. When we talked she explained that her best friend's boyfriend is a homophobe and that they are no longer fiends because of him. He outed her to several of their other friends before she was ready and she was really upset for a while. Fortunately those friends came to her and told her that they didn't care whether she was gay or straight, and she met a girl who is a year older and has been out a bit longer. She's helping her deal with the school stuff, and so far it's just the one boy that she has any real issues with.

The issue that I struggle with is my family. My mother is an evangelical Christian and while she doesn't "hate" gay people and has always been lovely to my friends, she would not deal well with a member of the family being gay. I thought she was going to have a heart attack when she found out that I'm an atheist, this would probably kill her. She still guilt trips me like crazy about not going to church and how she will hate to be in heaven without me. I hate to ask my daughter not to tell her grandparents, but I also hate to expose her to my mother's commentary. She's of the "love the sinner hate the sin" camp. I don't want anyone to ever tell my daughter that who she is is a sin, and I also don't want to cut my parents out of our lives for the time that they have left. Ugh, dilemma.

Sorry to spill my issues all over here, I just don't want to out my kid anywhere she's known, that's not my place.

 

[OKW Lover]

Just wanted to say to CamoMama that it sounds like your heart is in the right place. Also wanted to say Thank You for the year you spent overseas. I'm sure you learned that you can handle more than you ever thought you could while you were deployed. Just look at this as another opportunity to prove that people are capable of much more than they think.

My step-daughter is gay. Although I wasn't in the picture when she came out, the first thing I told her on the day I married her Mom was that I was perfectly fine with her sexuality. Over a few years we got to know each other better and she now thinks of me as her Dad. I'm flattered. I was absolutely blown away when she asked me to walk her down the aisle at a commitment ceremony with her then-partner. Right now they are separated and I'm trying to be there for her. As much as I can from 1,500 miles away.

She had an interesting comment one day. She has a son with her then partner and somehow we got to discussing what if the son turned out to be gay. She said that she hoped that didn't happen simply because of the extra hurdles that causes in this journey we call life. In other words, exactly what you're worried about for your daughter.

I knew I had a point when I started this

 

[WDWFreak200]

I remember when I came out, my mom and dad had a hard time with it, my dad, especially. But, they realized that they still love me no matter what their beliefs are and to this day they continue to support me. Oh, heck, some members of my family, including my aunt, have me help them determine who is gay or not when we go to a store because they know my "gaydar" is better than theirs. Lol.

A message to the OP: Todd, it's a difficult process to come out to family, but once you have done it, you will feel MUCH better about yourself and you'll feel like a burden's been lifted off of your chest. Just be glad no one cornered you into revealing your sexuality when you weren't ready. That is what my mom did to me.

 

[NurseAllen]

This is all so sweet, the positive stories and love that is coming through on these threads. It seems that even though there are minor setbacks, and slight twists and turns, all of you are very loving and supportive parents, and it really makes me feel so lucky for y'alll's children that they are blessed to have parents like y'all!

 

[DouglasE]

Please remember whatever you read here is purely my opinion and you can take it with a grain of salt.

First of all, of all the people I have come across I can hardly recall anyone saying that they regretted coming out. For me, it was one of the best decisions and moves I have made in my life. What I do regret is that I hadn't done it sooner. But with all things in my life I am a late bloomer. I'm over 30 and my twelve year old molars just erupted last week . If you are an adult and have the ability to support yourself, I highly encourage you to live your life as the person you truly are. You can do it! I don't have the same opinion for minors. If you depend on your parents, it's a totally different situation.

Many have noted that there is never a good time to make that brave, bold move. But I must say that I came out of the closet when I was crazy in love with my first boyfriend. I was so happy with him that I didn't give a rat's a*** what anyone thought of me. It gave me the courage to tell people. For me, the overwhelming response was a rolling of the eyes because it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out my story. I think the anxiety of planning to tell people was the most agonizing part. The fall out from telling was far easier to deal with than the near heart attacks that I was giving myself. While it may seem like I am saying to wait until you are in love, I am not. I am a firm believer that you should not live your life "on hold". I was waiting to see Paris with a guy that loved me. I finally figured out that I didn't want to wait. I didn't know when finding Mr. Right would happen. I deserved to have great life experiences with or without a significant other and I wasn't willing to live my life "on hold". Don't wait for a better time to come out. Start living your life the way you want to.

Please take note that LGBT folk are never done coming out. Throughout my life I'm always making decisions about how much to reveal. Recently, I was at a museum and my ex and I were checking our coats. A nice middle aged woman saw the two of us and offered to give us admission tickets for free. She was great when she discovered that we were boyfriends. She thought we were brothers. My ex actually looks more like me than my real brother. At that moment I could have taken the easy route and just thanked her for the kind gesture, but I wanted to live my life as authentically as I could and corrected her in a nice, friendly manner. She got a good laugh out of it. When I'm booking things for vacations or when people meet me and whoever I'm dating on vacations, I frequently have to make that decision about 'do I tell?'. Coming out never ends. Frankly, it's a pain in the a**. That's one thing I wish someone had mentioned to me. I thought there would just be this big announcement period and then I would be finished. Nope. It never ends.

Finally, thank you to the parents of LGBT children on this board. Your stories are fantastic.