Coming Out?

[mellers]

WOW, ok so I was feeling kind of melancholy today and for some reason ended up back on the DIS boards. A few years ago I was very active here planning many (10 over the years) trips for my family (now ex-wife) and two kids. I have only recently (I am 43) admitted to myself that I am actually gay. I am so jealous of all the well rounded folks here who realized/admitted early that they were gay and were able to make great happy lives for themselves. I know it's not too late and I really hope I am able to at some point find the actual right person I was meant to find. I don't mean to sound gloomy with my first post under my new screen name. I am by nature a very upbeat and pretty happy go lucky guy. It's really awesome to rediscover the site and lots of happy gay and lesbian couples.

I know this must have been hard to come to that conclusion, after all those years of marriage, and I wish you well. I also wish your ex-wife and kids well. I think attitudes are changing, and that is good for everyone.

For what it's worth, my first manager at my first real job was in a situation very similar to yours. He made a good life for himself, and kept a good relationship with his kids and ex-wife as well.

I also think you'll find a lot of people like me--straight, but not narrow

 

[greenkai3000]

I came out to my parents back when I was in College. I did it because I got tired of my then closed minded dad, and relatives always making homophobic remarks around me. I over at their place and asked them to come talk to me in the kitchen. I then just said, "You know what , you both are right! I am gay!" Assuming that they already knew, and just didn't want to say it...which turns out they did. They went through all kinds of phases right then in there, from denial, to anger, to fear, to even wanting to blame "the friends I hang out with". But you know what, they ended up accepting it because I'm their only son, and most important I'm THEIR son.

They've learned to love me and life because I don't do drugs, smoke, drink, or do anything harmful to myself and others. They know I'm mature enough to take care of myself and tell the difference between what's right, and what's wrong. They have met many of my friends over the years, come to Pride festivities, AND they have joined me, and my partner on a couple of Disney vacations... We are a true family!

I've also overheard my dad talk to one of his brothers and give him good advise on how to talk to his daughter who happened to come out to him not to long ago. I'm very glad I came out to them, not only because they had to know the real me, but because we have never been as close as we are now.

I say do it when you feel it's the right time, and do it they way you think will work best for you!

 

[ToddB]

Wow! I have not been on here in ages! But I figured I would come back and give a small update and bump up the thread. Over Thanksgiving week of 2012, I finally came out to my entire family, mom first, then everyone else just kinda followed suit. I was a nervous wreck that entire week...my cousin actually helped me do it. Surprisingly no one was really shocked and none of them have a problem with it. My mom is more worried about having grandkids...she said,'You might be gay, but you can still adopt kids!' I thought that was pretty funny, but true. I haven't really had any issues and I do feel much better about myself and the tension is gone that surrounded me the past few years. Although I haven't told anyone at work since I do work at a church and know their views on the whole thing...so if I ever get a new job, I will be good to go! So I am out and happy and would like to thank everyone for their stories and words of wisdom and support...I am very grateful to have found somewhere to vent and talk to people who have gone through the same thing and just so happen to love something that I do as well. So thanks to all! ~Todd

 

[NHdisneylover]

Wow! I have not been on here in ages! But I figured I would come back and give a small update and bump up the thread. Over Thanksgiving week of 2012, I finally came out to my entire family, mom first, then everyone else just kinda followed suit. I was a nervous wreck that entire week...my cousin actually helped me do it. Surprisingly no one was really shocked and none of them have a problem with it. My mom is more worried about having grandkids...she said,'You might be gay, but you can still adopt kids!' I thought that was pretty funny, but true. I haven't really had any issues and I do feel much better about myself and the tension is gone that surrounded me the past few years. Although I haven't told anyone at work since I do work at a church and know their views on the whole thing...so if I ever get a new job, I will be good to go! So I am out and happy and would like to thank everyone for their stories and words of wisdom and support...I am very grateful to have found somewhere to vent and talk to people who have gone through the same thing and just so happen to love something that I do as well. So thanks to all! ~Todd

Todd, thank you for the update. I am so very glad that things went so smoothly and well for you and that that stress s gone and you an really be YOU around your family with no fear now. That s the way it should be

 

[jiminy.cricket]

I was wondering how that went; glad to hear it was smooth! Thanks for the update!