Coach on Sidelines FIVE HOURS After Giving Birth!!

[BuckNaked]

Based on what's been said here, I should probably tell my DH that he's a bad father. DD was born at 7:48 in the evening, and he went home to get some sleep at 9:30 PM. He went to work the next day, then came to have dinner with me (the hospital took the baby to the nursery and provided us with a steak dinner and wine for him), then went home for the night, and back to work the next day. He came to take us home after work that day, and didn't take any more time off until I went back to work 10 weeks later.

I guess I should have known then that he wouldn't amount to a hill of beans as a dad. All of that time he's spent with her (and DS) since then - staying home for four weeks after I returned to work, taking them to the zoo, playing games with them, helping them with their homework, coaching their sports teams, etc. was just a ruse I suppose, designed to make me think he is really worth a damn in the dad department.

All because he left the hospital when she was only a little over two hours old...

 

[MommyPoppins]

I don't know about others, but for me personally, I don't think I could sit that soon after birth! I'm crackin' myself up over here.

And on a hard bench at that! Course, she only had a 6lb baby. I could sneeze that out. (my last was 9lbs 2oz)

Yeah, it has nothing to do with a new mother getting a little rest the night after giving birth and everything to do with being a crappy parent.

Nope, didn't call anyone a crappy parent. I just can't understand the desire to be separated from your new baby for that long.

My point that I was making now is that people are flaming this mom because she chose to be away from her baby (presumably) for a few hours for a game, yet it's ok to be away from the baby all night to get some sleep.? Isn't that putting yourself and your needs before the baby as well?

I guess I'm a bad Mother! I figure I have 2 nights in the hospital where I will have help with the baby in the middle of the night. Then I'm on my own. So darn it, I'm gonna use that help! Thankfully none of my nurses have had your attitude and all have seemed to enjoy caring for my babies. They bring them to me to nurse and take them back when I'm done.(only in the middle of the night) My babies always are VERY alert the first night and if I didn't let the nurses help me I wouldn't sleep at all. I think leaving your baby with the nurses to get some rest is for the bettering of your relationship with the baby the next day! New Mama's need their rest more than anything.

The lady in the article was no where NEAR resting!

At first I was a bit freaked out by it.




After remembering that, I realized that the fact that she could go, very very VERY likely meant that she hadn't had an epidural or any other drugs, and most of the women I know in person and online who went natural have a HUGE burst of energy afterwards, which would mean that something like this would be very possible.

In that case, more power to her!


I'd ALSO like to point out a big blank spot in the story. WHERE does it say she went alone? She could very well have had the baby in a Hotsling right up next to her heart (and colostrum), but the article didn't mention it. So I'm not sure we should all be assuming she "left" the baby...

Well, I had all for my my babies without any type of drugs and I'm feeling really ripped! I didn't get ANY HUGE burst of energy! I had super short labors(less than 1 hour of hard labor and maybe 3 contractions worth of pushing) and after the excitement is over and everything's cleaned up, I'm ready to CRASH! No way I could ever walk out of the hospital.

And the article said she had the "ok" from her Doctor, which means she had a hospital birth, and I don't know of any hospitals that have less than a 24 hour mandatory stay for the newborns. A Doctor sure wouldn't give an "ok" for a 5 hour old baby to go to a germ filled basketball game!

Whether she was wrong or right, I guess because of womans "wonderful" choices she is right in ANY decision she makes.

Would I leave my 5 hour old baby for ANYTHING? Heck no.

I hope for her families sake it's not a picture of what's to come, but we really don't know for sure.

I wonder if she broght a donut to sit on?

 

[Crankyshank]

So let me get this straight...

It is NOT ok to take issue with someone buying a cartload of junk using food stamps because "we don't know the full story", but it IS ok to insinuate someone is a horrible mother that will always choose work over the child's recitals, events, etc... because that mother coached her game right after giving birth even though "we don't know the full story"

Only on the DIS

 

[BuckNaked]

So let me get this straight...

It is NOT ok to take issue with someone buying a cartload of junk using food stamps, but it IS ok to insinuate someone is a horrible mother that will always choose work over the child's recitals, events, etc... because that mother coached her game right after giving birth.

Only on the DIS

GMTA, Crankyshank! This thread brought that thread to mind for me too.

Based on another post here, I'm thinking I won't win any mother of the year awards either - when we left he hospital with DS (1.5 days old) we went straight to DH's softball game, germs and all, new baby in tow!

 

[ilovejack02]

LOL, its funny how this has gotten so big.

None of us are going to convince each other that what this woman did is right or wrong.

 

[meandtheguys2]

So let me get this straight...

It is NOT ok to take issue with someone buying a cartload of junk using food stamps because "we don't know the full story", but it IS ok to insinuate someone is a horrible mother that will always choose work over the child's recitals, events, etc... because that mother coached her game right after giving birth even though "we don't know the full story"

Only on the DIS

I've been dragged thru the coals for "sheltering my children" (by homeschooling) and for being a "neglectful mother" (for allowing my boys to use the men's room at WDW), on the very same day.

Women don't need men to "oppress" them, women are far better at tearing one another down. It is possible to disagree, and even dislike the choices of others without making others evil/bad in the process.

FTR, I took my newborn to Disney. I needed a break, my husband and my mom were off, and away we went. Somehow, we didn't have heat stroke, nor did he catch a germ and die.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

LOL, its funny how this has gotten so big.

None of us are going to convince each other that what this woman did is right or wrong.

It's not about convincing each other if it was right or wrong, it's realizing that people make different choices and THAT doesn't make someone right or wrong.

 

[mrsltg]

Truer words were never spoken...

 

[U2_rocks!]

I could physically have gone to a game 5 hours after having all 3 of mine - especially the last 2. #1 I might have been more comfortable on a donut, and I would have been weak since I wasn't allowed to eat or drink. But with the last 2 I would have been fine, even on a hard bench. I had no drugs in my system, no stitches with #2 and #3, and since I was allowed to eat and drink with the last 2, I was not weak at all. However, I looked like crap after having babies - lank hair, sweaty, tired cause I was up all night etc. - no way I would have gone anywhere where cameras could have captured my image! Although I felt fine, I was in no mood to pull out the blowdryer and makeup to try and salvage my appearance!

I'm really not vain, but come on - there's only so bad I'm willing to look in that much of a public place!

I can't say if I would have done what she did or not. I don't have a job or a hobby or a sport that has ever needed me that badly, or that I've ever felt so committed to. She may have felt she would let down the team if she didn't show up. I have no idea how she felt, so I'm not going to judge her for it. The baby's Dad may have had some prime bonding time with the baby while she was gone - imagine how precious that could have been for him! And, for those who say there are huge differences between leaving the baby for 5 hours to go to a game and leaving the baby in the nursery so you can sleep for 5 hours - to the baby there is NO difference. The baby isn't with his mom under either scenario. As for all the rest (assuming this is indicative of how she will parent, implying her priorities are screwed up etc.) - that's all speculation. I am not willing to judge a mother for doing something that resulted in zero harm to the baby, and had no more effect on their bonding than if she'd simply fallen asleep for 5 hours instead!

 

[phillybeth]

So let me get this straight...

It is NOT ok to take issue with someone buying a cartload of junk using food stamps because "we don't know the full story", but it IS ok to insinuate someone is a horrible mother that will always choose work over the child's recitals, events, etc... because that mother coached her game right after giving birth even though "we don't know the full story"

Only on the DIS

Seriously! I cannot believe what some people are saying on this thread.

 

[dcgrumpy]

I'm a horrible parent too. I let all of my kids sllep in the nursery at night. I knew it be the last time I had a decent night's sleep. Six and a half years and 3 kids later, I'm up at least once a night with one of them.


DH went to bowl on his league the night our second was born. I told him to go it wasn't a big deal.

 

[goodstarr]

And on a hard bench at that! Course, she only had a 6lb baby. I could sneeze that out. (my last was 9lbs 2oz)



I guess I'm a bad Mother! I figure I have 2 nights in the hospital where I will have help with the baby in the middle of the night. Then I'm on my own. So darn it, I'm gonna use that help! Thankfully none of my nurses have had your attitude and all have seemed to enjoy caring for my babies. They bring them to me to nurse and take them back when I'm done.(only in the middle of the night) My babies always are VERY alert the first night and if I didn't let the nurses help me I wouldn't sleep at all. I think leaving your baby with the nurses to get some rest is for the bettering of your relationship with the baby the next day! New Mama's need their rest more than anything.

The lady in the article was no where NEAR resting!




Would I leave my 5 hour old baby for ANYTHING? Heck no.

I hope for her families sake it's not a picture of what's to come, but we really don't know for sure.

I wonder if she broght a donut to sit on?

I reiterate, I never said that these were bad mothers. Just that I can't understand why new parents would want to do this.

 

[goodstarr]

I'm a horrible parent too. I let all of my kids sllep in the nursery at night. I knew it be the last time I had a decent night's sleep. Six and a half years and 3 kids later, I'm up at least once a night with one of them.


DH went to bowl on his league the night our second was born. I told him to go it wasn't a big deal.

Nope, not horrible parents.

I always hear people say that this would be their last night to get some sleep. Why is the parenting role supposed to start once you get home? I believe that the last night of good sleep should have been the night before conception

So, let me get this right. The baby is in the nursery and brought out for feeds because the baby may keep you awake in between feeds crying or something. And you can sleep with the thought that your baby is crying in the nursery and may need his/her mommy? I'd be thinking, "I wonder what she's doing, whether she's crying, is she ok? Does she need me?" I wouldn't be able to sleep. But I could sleep very well knowing that she is right next to me in her crib.

It's called adjusting to being a new parents - sleep when the baby sleeps and become accustomed.

 

[FayeW]

I reiterate, I never said that these were bad mothers. Just that I can't understand why new parents would want to do this.

You don't have to understand. There are a lot things other parents do that I would never do and cannot understand at all. By the same token, I'm not going to win Mother of the Year any time soon, either. We just have to accept and acknowledge that people feel comfortable parenting in different ways.

 

[dcgrumpy]

Actually the hospital I was in doesn't allow the babies to stay in the room all night, so it wasn't an option. They will bring you the baby at feeding times if you would like. I chose not to the first couple of nights. I was in pain and drugged up. So shoot me

 

[Bob Slydell]

I reiterate, I never said that these were bad mothers. Just that I can't understand why new parents would want to do this.

Why is it necessary for you to understand it?

 

[ilovejack02]

Why is it necessary for you to understand it?

Why is it necessary for you to understand why she doesnt understand it?
( just messin with you lol)

Come on folks... some of us think this is awesome that she did it, some of us think its crap. Some of us dont really care one way or the other but know it wouldnt be for us. We all have different view points and we dont have to act like each other is stupid and or evil for disagreeing.
This isnt a debate on Iraq and in the big scheme of things really just doesnt matter.

 

[Bob Slydell]

Why is it necessary for you to understand why she doesnt understand it?
( just messin with you lol)

 

[Briarmom]

Women don't need men to "oppress" them, women are far better at tearing one another down. It is possible to disagree, and even dislike the choices of others without making others evil/bad in the process.

This is exactly how I feel. It just makes me sad. I know women judge each other, I just wish as mothers we could get it together.

I've been judged for:

-being a SAHM

-breastfeeding

-feeding my kids foods that a lot of kids are allergic to (how are you supposed to know if they're allergic if they don't eat them?)

-moving my kids to Egypt

-homeschooling this year because we live in Egypt...would you rather they didn't get any school?

-expecting my children to act in a certain way in public

-punishing them when they don't act appropriately

-taking my babies to Disney

-taking my kids out of school to go on vacation (when they were in school)

-putting them in a crib

-letting them watch TV

-letting them play video games

-buying their clothes at Gymboree

-taking them to nice restaurants


I'm sure there are many, many, many more.

What kind of a world are we raising our daughters in? A world where they will feel nothing but inadequate. A world where they'll never be good enough. Where they can't turn to each other to talk about how hard being a mother is, for fear of judgement. If we start supporting each others choices now, today, and we pass that on to our children, our great-great-great grandchildren will reap the rewards.

 

[ilovejack02]

This is exactly how I feel. It just makes me sad. I know women judge each other, I just wish as mothers we could get it together.

I've been judged for:

-being a SAHM

-breastfeeding

-feeding my kids foods that a lot of kids are allergic to (how are you supposed to know if they're allergic if they don't eat them?)

-moving my kids to Egypt

-homeschooling this year because we live in Egypt...would you rather they didn't get any school?

-expecting my children to act in a certain way in public

-punishing them when they don't act appropriately

-taking my babies to Disney

-taking my kids out of school to go on vacation (when they were in school)

-putting them in a crib

-letting them watch TV

-letting them play video games

-buying their clothes at Gymboree

-taking them to nice restaurants


I'm sure there are many, many, many more.

What kind of a world are we raising our daughters in? A world where they will feel nothing but inadequate. A world where they'll never be good enough. Where they can't turn to each other to talk about how hard being a mother is, for fear of judgement. If we start supporting each others choices now, today, and we pass that on to our children, our great-great-great grandchildren will reap the rewards.

LMAO.... I didnt know you lived in EGYPT! WOW, thats neat!

Dang the things you get judged for are wild.... Bet I was getting judged and had no idea. People judge you for shopping at Gymboree???? Holy Moly, wonder what folks say about me since I mainly shop Ralph Lauren and several other high end brands and a few of those trunk show brands.
I do like Gymboree, but not so much for boys... darn cute girl stuff though. I have bought Jack a cpl of things there though.

LOL how is that for OT!!!???
( am i gonna be judged now) ; )

Actually ya know what i got judged earlier for saying I cried when my child got a shot yesterday. Got told I was making it hard for him and i needed to suck it up and be the parent.
I dont know many parents that could sit through a child screaming..
"mommy Im begging you to take me out of here" while being held down.