Coach on Sidelines FIVE HOURS After Giving Birth!!

[MyGoofy26]

Oh my!! I cannot believe how mean so many women are being about another moms choice. Do you really believe her relationship with her newborn is going to be affected by being gone for a few hours after the baby is 5 hours old??

It's not so much that she left the 5 hour old newborn, it's the thought that if she's able to walk away from the child at 5 hours old, is that a sign of what's to come in that kid's future? That the kid will constantly come behind mom's job? THAT's what could effect the the child - years of the same type of behaviour.

 

[Bob Slydell]

I don't see it any different than new parents putting their baby in the nursery all night right after giving birth. So many Dis'ers were up in arms because I said that new parents should want to be with their newborns. "What, keep my baby with me and take care of it and bond - are you crazy?" At least she was only away from her baby for a couple of hours, unlike lots of my patients who don't see their baby for 8-10 hours.

And oh, no, I'm not talking about those of you who practically died during childbirth. I'm talking about all of the able-bodied folks who are up and about (and going to games), who stand in the window and watch the nurses take care of their little bundle of joy. And those who had to have their partners stay to help them with the baby, but OH, the baby's in the nursery! Well, in that case, can you get him a sandwich ?

Yeah, it has nothing to do with a new mother getting a little rest the night after giving birth and everything to do with being a crappy parent.

 

[crazyme5kids]

I don't think she did anything wrong. It was a few hours away. Maybe her husband stayed with the baby. Maybe her parents did. Maybe she had a long conversation with the nurses about the situation and they made her comfortable enough to know her baby would be well taken care.

She did what she felt was the right thing. A few hours does not equal a lifetime. For all we know she might decide to give up coaching to stay home with her baby.

 

[KATIESMOMMY]

you couldnt have pried me away 5 hours afterward....different stroke for different folks I guess...

 

[Briarmom]

you couldnt have pried me away 5 hours afterward....different stroke for different folks I guess...

BINGO! We all make different choices. Some moms go to work 5 hours after giving birth. Some moms utilize the nursery in the hospital. Some moms don't let the baby leave the room the whole time they're in the hospital.

Do you see the common thread here? MOMS. Women are supposed to be nurturers, but every time there is anything written about a mom's choice, there are other women/mothers out there bashing it. Being a mom is hard enough without everyone looking down at you.

 

[kaw1218]

It really makes me wonder why she even had a child if she can't pull herself away from her job for the first 24 hours of her little baby's life.

I was actually thinking the same thing... poor kid

 

[bumbershoot]

At first I was a bit freaked out by it.

But then I gave myself some non-American perspective.

My mother in law had her first, unattended by professionals (just her family and village women) in a tiny, rural, village in Korea. 6 days of labor, 10+ pound baby, after having been malnourished her whole life (amazing my brother in law was so big!). I'm quite sure she was back to whatever she could do as SOON as she could do it. Though actually, traditional Korea has a lovely way of treating brand new mothers, but I think in times of near famine, you gotta do what you gotta do.



After remembering that, I realized that the fact that she could go, very very VERY likely meant that she hadn't had an epidural or any other drugs, and most of the women I know in person and online who went natural have a HUGE burst of energy afterwards, which would mean that something like this would be very possible.

In that case, more power to her!


I'd ALSO like to point out a big blank spot in the story. WHERE does it say she went alone? She could very well have had the baby in a Hotsling right up next to her heart (and colostrum), but the article didn't mention it. So I'm not sure we should all be assuming she "left" the baby...

 

[goodstarr]

Yeah, it has nothing to do with a new mother getting a little rest the night after giving birth and everything to do with being a crappy parent.

Nope, didn't call anyone a crappy parent. I just can't understand the desire to be separated from your new baby for that long.

My point that I was making now is that people are flaming this mom because she chose to be away from her baby (presumably) for a few hours for a game, yet it's ok to be away from the baby all night to get some sleep.? Isn't that putting yourself and your needs before the baby as well?

 

[Briarmom]

Nope, didn't call anyone a crappy parent. I just can't understand the desire to be separated from your new baby for that long.

My point that I was making now is that people are flaming this mom because she chose to be away from her baby (presumably) for a few hours for a game, yet it's ok to be away from the baby all night to get some sleep.? Isn't that putting yourself and your needs before the baby as well?

I understand your point. I know I wouldn't have been able to leave my newborn. However, instead of flaming moms for doing anything and everything, why can't we just live and let live? This mother did not harm her child. I'm sure she loves her child just as much as every mother here on the DIS.

There are a lot of choices that I, personally, would not make for my child. Does that make every woman that does choose those things a bad mother? No!

Instead of taking sides all the time, why can't we just join together as women? I am always saddened by these threads. If women would just support each other in their choices, the world would be a better place.

Oh, and as far as whether or not it would bother you if a male coach left his newborn 5 hours later for a game...that wouldn't have made the news. Men don't get guilted like that.

 

[BuckNaked]

Could I do it? No. Do I think she's a rotten mom because she did. Also no. Do I think women pile on other women ? Oh yeah!

Yep, I totally agree on all points.

Like nuke, I had an epidural with my first one and couldn't feel my legs for a few hours, but other than that, I would have been fine.

 

[Charade]

It really makes me wonder why she even had a child if she can't pull herself away from her job for the first 24 hours of her little baby's life.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I understand your point. I know I wouldn't have been able to leave my newborn. However, instead of flaming moms for doing anything and everything, why can't we just live and let live? This mother did not harm her child. I'm sure she loves her child just as much as every mother here on the DIS.

There are a lot of choices that I, personally, would not make for my child. Does that make every woman that does choose those things a bad mother? No!

Instead of taking sides all the time, why can't we just join together as women? I am always saddened by these threads. If women would just support each other in their choices, the world would be a better place.

Oh, and as far as whether or not it would bother you if a male coach left his newborn 5 hours later for a game...that wouldn't have made the news. Men don't get guilted like that.

This is a great post and needs repeating.

As women we need to lift each other up, not drag each other down.

 

[Charade]

My point that I was making now is that people are flaming this mom because she chose to be away from her baby (presumably) for a few hours for a game, yet it's ok to be away from the baby all night to get some sleep.? Isn't that putting yourself and your needs before the baby as well?

IMO, there's a HUGE difference!!

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I wonder how many of the "criticizers" on this thread have coached. Or even been involved in sports at all. At any level.

Maybe Dad stayed with the baby. It's my understanding he was born in North Dakota where the game was played. More than likely that little boy is going to grow up around athletics and play sports himself. By choice.

Personally this is something I would do in a heartbeat. I went home the day after a c-section and coached at high school softball practice the following week. Am I a horrible mother?

On the flip side I would never send one of my children to the nursery for the night. When they were born, they stayed in the room with me. If I needed rest, DH or a grandparent was there to care for them. Just like they probably were for this coach for that two hour span.

Do you really think this woman called the media and said "Hey I just gave birth and am headed to the game right now, do you think you could give me some press????"

I say more power to her, and I think Isaac Dakota is a cute name.

 

[ilovejack02]

As women we need to lift each other up, not drag each other down.

Im not buying that argument in this case. Its just stupid to put work before your 5hr old newborn in my opinion. Im sure the child was well cared for during the time she was away , I would hope the child was not at the game as someone suggested. But would i ever support a friend telling me that she is going back to work 5 hrs after she gave birth NO... would I tell her she is a horrible person, prob not, but i wouldnt be giving her high 5's about her decision either.

As far as my DH leaving me in the hospital to go back to work 5 hrs after I gave birth... unless he was getting ready to do a Heart Transplant on a dying patient and was the only DR for miles around or the Military Police was there telling him had to leave with him, i would be whipping his butt if he put anything else in front of his family. I also think my DH would have tied my to the bed if I said, let me get up and go to a basketball game.

 

[ilovejack02]

I wonder how many of the "criticizers" on this thread have coached. Or even been involved in sports at all. At any level.
Personally this is something I would do in a heartbeat. I went home the day after a c-section and coached at high school softball practice the following week. Am I a horrible mother?

A week is completely different.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

A week is completely different.

I disagree. The only reason it was that long - actually it was 5 days - was because that was the first day of practice.

 

[mrsltg]

Obviously she felt a responsibility to the team. It was her choice. Isn't that nice that we have choices? Why do these threads always turn into women putting other women down? I know I posted this as my first post on this thread, but I was thinking more along the lines of, WOW a busy day, not so much, WOW, what she thinking?

MTE (as always...)

And, FTR, giving birth is not a handicap. I walked out of the hospital 6 hours after my son was born. This woman is dedicated to her team and it was not "any" game - it was important. She wanted to be there to help the team accomplish what they had set out to do. I really don't get the "she's a bad mother" business. Some people get drugged up after giving birth and can't care for their babies at all - are they bad, too?

 

[froglady]

I know that I could not have done it, but I had a difficult delivery with #1 and a C-section with #2.

My DH DID go back to work as soon as both babies and I were settled in. (about an hour) Neither one of us saw a need for him to hover over the baby and me, and quite frankly, I just wanted to get some rest.

Granted, he was still in the building.

I also met someone who went to a party and danced a couple of hours after giving birth, but she really regreted it after the "delivery high" wore off.

BTW, is it possible that she had planned to take time off from coaching after her baby was born, and this was the last time she'll be seeing her team for a while? Perhaps the baby was early, and she THOUGHT she could make it to the end of the season before taking time off? Nah, that would be giving her the benefit of the doubt.

 

[FayeW]

Not everybody bonds instantly with their newborns. My husband did; I didn't.

Also, I remember feeling pretty deflated after my daughter was born (our first child). For several hours, it was all about ME. How I was feeling, what I needed, how well I was doing, etc. The minute she was born, it was all about HER (as it should have been), but I remember thinking, hey, what about me? Where did everybody go? I hurt, I need to be stitched up, etc. I was on an emotional rollercoaster. Point is, don't judge a hormonal woman too harshly for the decisions she makes at an emotional time. As long as the baby (who was probably sleeping anyway) was safe and cared for, no harm done.