Christmas gifts ugh!

[vicki_c]

Did I miss something? Why isn't your DH involved if it's his sister and his parents? I wouldn't even be getting involved - tell him to deal with his sister. I agree that she needs to learn some manners and I would also say no.

 

[4HppyCamprs]

They've probably figured out by now that she's a liar. Don't let her bully you into doing things you don't want to do. In fact, I'd get the jump on her next year and call her in July. "We've decided to buy Mom and Dad a DVC membership for Christmas. Your share is $5000."

(Also, am I the only one wondering if she's planning to "borrow" those iPods?)

No your not the only one wondering that was my first thought too....but I didnt want to assume to much about her character..

 

[luvmy3]

Did I miss something? Why isn't your DH involved if it's his sister and his parents? I wouldn't even be getting involved - tell him to deal with his sister. I agree that she needs to learn some manners and I would also say no.

If there is anything like this going on, I always am the one to take cae of it and communicate to my SILs. My dh is lucky enough if he even remembers its Christmas let alone get someone a gift

OP, I would tell your SIL that you and your dh are not planning on being included in a joint gift, you would like to get them something that you and he thought of. Do not tell her you already got something, or have something specific in mind in case she presses for info. If you already know what you are getting them, I think it would be fine but if you don't and say "we are giving them xxxxx this year" then if you don't it may cause trouble, and it sounds like your SIL is the type to make it.

 

[gracie1]

I would just tell her that you have your own ideas. $550 for a mothers day present?? Yikes!

 

[Motherofboys]

They've probably figured out by now that she's a liar. Don't let her bully you into doing things you don't want to do. In fact, I'd get the jump on her next year and call her in July. "We've decided to buy Mom and Dad a DVC membership for Christmas. Your share is $5000."

(Also, am I the only one wondering if she's planning to "borrow" those iPods?)

Actually I was thinking she probably wanted to get them on black Friday and then pocket the difference

I wouldn't allow anyone to send me a bill for something I didn't agree to participate in - family or not. If I did participate in a joint gift with her, I'd be asking for receipts before I paid her my half.

 

[budbeerlady]

ITA! Call her and tell her after some honest thought you will not be participating in this gift. Then tell her that in the future you would like to be consulted prior to any and all decisions. Ask her how she thinks her parents will use their IPODS without internet/computer to download or link to things. If you don't calmly speak to her about this, she will continue to do it.

Oh yeah! Call her!
My Dh will NEVER say anything to our sister in law He thinks she is a nut job that married his brother. And Dh's sister is too passive and just goes along even thought they cannot really afford it. It was the end of the world when I told them we would not be pitching in $100 on the GPS for my mother in law 2 years ago. Really $300 on this thing?

#1- find a sale, why would you pay full price?
#2- she didn't want one and very rarely uses it.

 

[hereyago]

, I finally played the big bad witch card .

You rock!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Disneys#1fan]

I would have to agree with PP. As the voice of experience, after 16 years of always being the ones to go along with the inlaws plans, this year it all came to a "head" and it has not been pretty. I would join in with your DH and tell your SIL "NO" nicely but firmly. It may cause some trouble now but not nearly as much trouble as it will if you continue to do what they want even when you don't want to. Resentment is a nasty thing.

 

[pixiewings71]

I'm with everyone else...tell her no thanks, you've already got a gift chosen or tell her you've got xxx amount to spend and that's what you will give. I can see her borrowing the iPods or even as someone else suggested, buying them on sale and then pocketing the difference. I'd just have to go with thanks but no thanks....

 

[BoogasMom]

You can either take everyone's advice and tell her no thanks or you can suck it up and pay her the $200.....

Me? I would be the bad guy and tell her in a polite way that I won't be participating in the iPod and that we have our own ideas this year for their gifts. Who cares if she spreads lies about you? You said it yourself that after you told your side of the story to the family the last time she did this, they took your side. What makes this time any different?

 

[JENOS]

Tell her that your husband (her brother) really wants a trip to Disney for Christmas and her share is going to be $3000.

 

[libinatorsmom]

I would just tell her - Sorry we have other plans for gifts this year but thank you for thinking of us.... I dont think there is anything wrong with that at all - you dont HAVE to do it...

 

[Poohbear5]

Just say NO!!!

Yes, they will talk about what a cheapskate you are... but who cares??? They won't be likely to ask again!

 

[C.Ann]

I just got an email from my SIL saying that for christmas her parents will like ipods so she will like to split it therefore it will be $100 per person which means for me and DH is $200. They don't even own a computer so how is the ipods any good? Ugh I am so sick of this share gifts of her. Last time she bought her mother a $550 ring for mothers day and decide to tells us how much we owe her. And for her parents 25 wedding anniversary she plan a party wanted us to giver her $600 plus our airfare and she change the dates to dates we couldn't even make it. We were not planning on spending $200 for christmas gifts just for her parents. Does anyone else deal with this in your family? The worst part is she "borrows" the money from her grandparents and never paid them back.

You need to stand up for yourself and just say NO.. Tell her that you and your DH have talked it over and beginning right now, you will no longer be participating in "shared" gifts.. End of story..

And it sounds like she's ripping you off BIG time..

I would not stand for that - no way, no how..

 

[pantherlj]

Tell her that your husband (her brother) really wants a trip to Disney for Christmas and her share is going to be $3000.

LOL

GL OP - I agree with everyone else. Just say that you and DH are doing your own thing this year. The tensions of holidays suck

 

[Disneybuckeye]

Please let us know how this plays out as I am definitely curious. I also am in te camp of optiing out. That is ridiculous.

 

[cheshireqt]

You need to stand up for yourself and just say NO.. Tell her that you and your DH have talked it over and beginning right now, you will no longer be participating in "shared" gifts.. End of story..

And it sounds like she's ripping you off BIG time..

I would not stand for that - no way, no how..

EXACTLY. Tell her no this one time. Have one big fight, if that is what is necessary to squash this notion for good and then if she brings up some grand scheme again say "sorry, our policy is that we do not do shared gifts."

 

[Belle5]

I actually did this. I stopped the insanity! DH and I are both the "later borns" in our families--so we both have older sisters who love to run the show. One day we grew up and found our voices and said ,"NO MORE"! I was the first to call all the siblings and announce that we would no longer be participating in Christmas gift exchanges. We also had to speak up about the "gifts" for the parents that we were always asked to pitch in on. First of all, they weren't gifts we would ever choose. Secondly, I knew my mother didn't even like most of the gifts (weekends at questionable bed n breakfasts because BIL knew the owners and got a "deal") I finally said, "We have our own ideas of things we would like to be buying Mom and Dad, so we won't be going in on any more gifts with the rest of you." I can't tell you how freeing it is to get out from under the bondage! The gals who are used to running the show never like it, but to use an old family expression, I let them go scratch their mad place. Guess what? They got over it!

 

[lyncecelia]

I agree, say no. Enough is enough.

Sounds like my Aunt with my Dad....it drove me bananas! Luckily I have no worries whatsoever of this happening

 

[tinkarooni]

Hey OP, first you need to go over to the thread that right now is trading irritating relatives and see if you can pick up maybe a drunk BIL in exchange for your overbearing SIL.

Secondly, without a doubt tell her no. And I would never, ever, ever mention that they need a computer to use the ipods, than your share will be $2,000.

Just say no, you have bought your own gifts this year.