Christmas advice

[Wishing on a star]

Why does he not want to be with his parents in CA? That hasn't even been asked and OP made no mention? Just curious.

I agree.... a lot of unanswered questions here.
A lot of things that do not make sense, or add-up.

OP: you need to talk with your fiance... ignore the fact that emotionally you want to go home... find out what his motivations and reservations are for wanting to spend Christmas alone in a new area with no friends or family, with no desire to see either family.

 

[Scurvy]

I just have to say that I do not understand this POV at all....
They have definite plans to be married...
Is that not a commitment??? Does that not mean anything?
They are also living together, having moved hundreds of miles from home... ( is that not a commitment? )

Well the living together part does muddy the waters somewhat. Of course being engaged means something, and of course it is a big commitment. But it isn't marriage. For me, the act of getting married was a big deal. (I'm not trying to say it isn't if you live together first, or if you spend Christmas together while you're engaged!) But for me, that was the point at which we became a family. I didn't feel like my husband and I were a family when we were engaged, though of course I knew I wanted us to be one. And knowing that future Christmases would be spent with him, it was important to me to spend that last Christmas when I wasn't married with my family. (I wouldn't have lived with him until we were married, either. I know everyone doesn't feel that way, though.)

On the other hand I totally feel that once you know you want to be married there's no point in waiting any longer than you have to, so we were only engaged a few months. Christmas just happened to fall during that time.

And I'm not saying that they don't owe each other anything just because they are not married yet. Of course they owe each other something! They need to respect each other and communicate about this. I just think that there's nothing strange about an engaged person choosing to spend a holiday with her family rather than her fiance, though I'd find it strange if a married couple chose to spend holidays apart.