Cheerfully child-free. Anyone else?

[gnbuggy]

Cute! My MIL does the same thing. She has 12 grandchildren (SIL's are breeders ) and she still treats my cats like her grandkids. Even brings them presents when she comes for a visit.

On our last trip to DL, DM watched the 2 dogs and 2 cats. She made a scrapbook of what they did over the week. So cute.

 

[6_Time_Momma]

Especially as I listen to parents complaining about how school just started and they've already been hit up for teacher gifts, PTO/PTA fundraisers, etc. etc. etc.

I may be bankrupted by crushing school taxes, but at least I am spared all those "extras." (Not that the little darlings don't come begging at my doorstep).

Okay, first, I confess.........I'm not childfree....... ssshhhhhhhh, don't tell!!

I just had to laugh at this comment, though!! I think someone needs to put in parenting books the costs of kids once they get into school!!

Anyway, back to your thread. Sorry for the intrusion!

 

[MrsPete]

These questions are meant as serious questions -- not as challenges to anyone's choices:

An individual doesn't NEED to reproduce for survival, but a society DOES NEED to reproduce to keep going. Should this affect one's individual choice to have children or not have children?

What if large numbers of people chose not to have children? Would it make a difference to our generation in our golden years? For example, if there were fewer workers, what would happen to our social security? who'd take care of us if the future generations had too few doctors? would our generation become a burden on the smaller next generation? Is this something to be concerned about, or just a problem that's going to occur anyway?

Looking across society today -- possibly throughout history, I don't know -- it seems that those who can least care for their children have produced the greatest number of them! Just look around today: most of the professional, college-educated people I know personally have 1-2 children; yet at work I see many low-socio-economic families with 5-6 kids. Are we likely to develop into a society with too few people in the top realm and too many on the bottom? In my own life, it seems that most of the people I know personally who've chosen not to have children are educated, work-oriented, professional types -- are they "cheating" future generations by not adding to the "more capable" upper class group?

Again, I'm not saying anyone's made good choice or bad choices. But I see more and more professional people having no children (or fewer children -- let's throw that in there too), and I wonder what impact it'll have on the future of our society. Any opinions?

 

[Clotho]

*raising hand* Been on the 5 year plan for 7 years now, and are realizing we may never want kids (32 and 33). But we are open to the idea that one day we will wake up and feel differently.

For now, we are loving being childless...

Not really...

We have two furbabies! Two pups we love like the dickens! They allow us just enough freedom, combined with the chance to nurture little living things.

 

[Clotho]

But I see more and more professional people having no children (or fewer children -- let's throw that in there too), and I wonder what impact it'll have on the future of our society. Any opinions?

I and my friends comment on it all the time. Those who would make the best parents have no desire to.

I wonder if this is a common pattern...throughout history I mean.

 

[PrincessKitty1]

(raising hand) I plead GUILTY to "cheating" future generations by not adding to the "more capable" upper class group.

 

[Clotho]

Ugh! I realized that it sounded like I was saying *only* the most qualified parents *aren't* having them. Obviously that ain't true. There are lots of amazing parents out there. But I agree that in my experience there are far more "okay" parents and downright "crappy parents"--equal to the number of folks who would make incredible parents but choose not to!

 

[maliboomer]

I don't have any kids - but that's apparently a good thing at my age!

 

[jodifla]

These questions are meant as serious questions -- not as challenges to anyone's choices:

An individual doesn't NEED to reproduce for survival, but a society DOES NEED to reproduce to keep going. Should this affect one's individual choice to have children or not have children?

What if large numbers of people chose not to have children? Would it make a difference to our generation in our golden years? For example, if there were fewer workers, what would happen to our social security? who'd take care of us if the future generations had too few doctors? would our generation become a burden on the smaller next generation? Is this something to be concerned about, or just a problem that's going to occur anyway?

Looking across society today -- possibly throughout history, I don't know -- it seems that those who can least care for their children have produced the greatest number of them! Just look around today: most of the professional, college-educated people I know personally have 1-2 children; yet at work I see many low-socio-economic families with 5-6 kids. Are we likely to develop into a society with too few people in the top realm and too many on the bottom? In my own life, it seems that most of the people I know personally who've chosen not to have children are educated, work-oriented, professional types -- are they "cheating" future generations by not adding to the "more capable" upper class group?

Again, I'm not saying anyone's made good choice or bad choices. But I see more and more professional people having no children (or fewer children -- let's throw that in there too), and I wonder what impact it'll have on the future of our society. Any opinions?

It does seem like a cycle of history...the better educated people become, the fewer children they have.

I can see both sides of the aisle here. We were "cheerfully child free'' the first 13 years of our marriage. We had a great life during that time, and truly enjoyed all the traveling, evenings out, adult things we got to do, etc. We also worked a lot of hours in a demanding profession. I didn't want to give up my freedom, and also, I could easily see that having kids is a huge financial drain. My family was constantly short of money when I was growing up, and I didn't want the same life when I got older.

As we hit our late 30s, we looked around and decided we weren't doing all that much going out any more, anyway. And I realized that what I had been focused on....the draining infant and toddler years...are pretty fleeting. Most of your relationship with a child will most likely be spent with them as an adult.

Adding a child to our family has been a lot of fun. It's demanding, certainly. But it's a lot of fun, too.

If we want more of the educated class to have kids, then maybe women should stop endless nitpicking each other about their choices. And maybe their should be true support for women who have kids. Mostly, women (and their partners) are on their own when the have kids.

 

[goofygirl]

I don't think the population is any danger of dying out anytime soon, so I'm not worried, lol!

But to answer the question "what if we got old and not enough people were around to support/care for us?" - well, the way I see it, it couldn't get any worse than it is now. Social Security is already drying up and there's already too few nurses per patient. It's too big a problem to fix, and I do not believe that me having a child or children would even begin to solve this problem.

And- If it comes to the point that the human race stops reproducing to the point of extinction (which will never happen), then so be it. I don't expect the human race to go on forever.

 

[Hixski]

I thought the title of this thread was: Cheerfully child-free??? Some are starting to sound less than cheery. Some on here may change their minds. But...the majority are not going to change their minds. They are childfree for various reasons. Some do not want any and never will. Some wanted a child but for various reasons can't have one. Some are on the fence and may stay there till it is too late. Lets try to stick to being cheerful.

 

[gnbuggy]

I second the cheerful vote!

 

[goofygirl]

It IS still cheerful as far as I can see. Just because we are discussing some social issues does not mean we are unhappy, mad or anything else that's the opposite of "cheerful."

 

[Hixski]

It IS still cheerful as far as I can see. Just because we are discussing some social issues does not mean we are unhappy, mad or anything else that's the opposite of "cheerful."

I know it is. I guess I am just touchy after someone told me I should not have 5 Christmas trees because I don't have children. It is bad enough some people don't think we should like WDW. But to have someone think I am crazy to have 5 Christmas trees because I don't have children....They can think I'm crazy to have 5 Christmas trees...I don't care about that. It was the part about not having children that really irked me. This just happened Saturday at a Hallmark by the way.

 

[Planogirl]

Five Christmas trees sounds great to me, children or not! The more the merrier IMO.

Now I'll go back to lurking.

 

[goofygirl]

I know it is. I guess I am just touchy after someone told me I should not have 5 Christmas trees because I don't have children. It is bad enough some people don't think we should like WDW. But to have someone think I am crazy to have 5 Christmas trees because I don't have children....They can think I'm crazy to have 5 Christmas trees...I don't care about that. It was the part about not having children that really irked me. This just happened Saturday at a Hallmark by the way.

I didn't know having Christmas trees required having kids.

Sorry to hear someone was so rude to you. They're probably just jealous.

I put up a Xmas tree every year and I live alone. I have heard other people who live alone say "Why should I put up a tree for just me?" And I say, "Why the heck NOT?"
I just do not get the mentality of people who think a Xmas tree is just for houses for 2 people are more.

 

[plgrn]

I put up a Xmas tree every year and I live alone. I have heard other people who live alone say "Why should I put up a tree for just me?"

Why take a shower or vacuum your floor? It's just you! ... some people

 

[PrincessKitty1]

Hixsi, I want to hear about your 5 trees! I am neither Christian nor Pagan, but I know a fun holiday when I see one , and Christmas trees are a blast! I've been collecting animal ornaments for decades and have so many that I only buy VERY unusual ones now. How do you decorate your five trees--are there themes??

DH and I always buy a real tree, but I am thinking of buying a wrought iron tree as well, to sit on the antique chest in the foyer, and maybe making it mermaid-themed (great excuse for buying new ornaments!) or Disney-themed.

 

[Hixski]

Hixsi, I want to hear about your 5 trees! I am neither Christian nor Pagan, but I know a fun holiday when I see one , and Christmas trees are a blast! I've been collecting animal ornaments for decades and have so many that I only buy VERY unusual ones now. How do you decorate your five trees--are there themes??

DH and I always buy a real tree, but I am thinking of buying a wrought iron tree as well, to sit on the antique chest in the foyer, and maybe making it mermaid-themed (great excuse for buying new ornaments!) or Disney-themed.

My big tree is 8 ft. It has a big variety of ornaments. I have a Barbie tree. About 65 Barbies are on that one. Mostly Hallmark. I have what I call my foyer tree. It is about 6ft and skinny. It has smaller type ornaments on it. Not miniature just smaller. DH wanted a sci-fi tree since we had so many Star Trek and Star Wars ornaments. He has a thing for Marvin the Martian too. And of course last but certainly not least is my pride and joy. My Disney tree. It is about 6.5 to 7 ft tall. I have a picture handy of that one so I will post it here. All the ornaments are Disney and I have been collecting them for over 20 years. I have several more small trees for miniatures including 2 small wrought iron ones. I am a little more crazy than most when it comes to Christmas trees. My one big indulgence besides vacations. DH loves them too. He wants to do a sports theme tree next.

 

[gnbuggy]

My big tree is 8 ft. It has a big variety of ornaments. I have a Barbie tree. About 65 Barbies are on that one. Mostly Hallmark. I have what I call my foyer tree. It is about 6ft and skinny. It has smaller type ornaments on it. Not miniature just smaller. DH wanted a sci-fi tree since we had so many Star Trek and Star Wars ornaments. He has a thing for Marvin the Martian too. And of course last but certainly not least is my pride and joy. My Disney tree. It is about 6.5 to 7 ft tall. I have a picture handy of that one so I will post it here. All the ornaments are Disney and I have been collecting them for over 20 years. I have several more small trees for miniatures including 2 small wrought iron ones. I am a little more crazy than most when it comes to Christmas trees. My one big indulgence besides vacations. DH loves them too. He wants to do a sports theme tree next.

What a cool tree!! It makes me want to to all out this year!