Celebrating children's birthdays.....

[maslex]

Had a conversation at work yesterday about celebrating your child's birthday. Most families, I assume have some type of party for their child's birthday. Whether it's a small gathering with a couple friends from school or a larger gathering with family members & friends.

The question that came up was, at what age do you STOP having a party for your child? I know people who have simple parties with cake/ice cream/gifts, then I know people who have extravagant parties.

But anyways, I was wondering.....if you normally have a party for your child with family, friends, cake, ice cream, etc....what age do you stop doing that? I know there's no certain age, but do you have an older child that you no longer invite people over to celebrate. Maybe you might go to the child's favorite restaurant for dinner, but have you stopped having the big ole party?

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

We do parties from 5 to 10. (We don't have family so it's just school friends and my kids didn't go to preschool.) Before 5 we did a little something with just us. From 5 thru 10 they get a party. 11 and 12 I let them have a couple friends over for a sleepover and pizza, no presents, just a fun night. At 13 for our oldest and what we plan with our younger 2, we rented a hotel for the night. They ordered pizza, made sundaes with 13 toppings, swam in the pool, etc. Where we went was a specila it was like $75 for the night in a suite and included a hot breakfast. No parties after that (other them again the small sleepover, no gifts) till the 16th, though my DD15 has told me she doesn't want a party for hers this year.

Not saying our way is right, some do way more some do way less. We do it this way because we don't have family to celebrate with so we like to give the kids a little something each year.

 

[EeyoreEma]

Ours are still young, but we're not really into parties for them. DD had a party for her 3rd, but honestly - it just doesn't make sense for us to do it again. We'd rather spend the day together as a family doing special things that they each enjoy.

 

[suejai]

In my family it kind of depended on the kid. When my stepson moved in with us he was just turning 13. He didn't have any friends here yet so we just did a family celebration - just the 4 of us. After that he never really wanted a planned party, he would just go hang with his friends and we did a special dinner and cake at home. Now with my youngest son he is turning 15 this month and still wants a planned party with his friends. All his friends are still having parties as well. They usually consist of an activity and a sleepover. No cake or anything really partylike though. I think next year we will end it. But I know people who stopped having parties when the kids hit 12 or so.

 

[goofy's friends]

We stopped at 12. after that, a couple of friends to spend the night, but no elaborate party.

 

[HM]

My kids are 16 and 14. We started having parties for them when they were in preschool (age 4). They had friend parties for every birthday, that I planned until about age 12 or so. The parties were always held at our home (or at our club pool once the kids were older...both have summer b-days) and included game time, food and presents. All were very modest yet fun affairs.

Now that they are older they still celebrate their birthdays with friends but it's usually just few of them for sleepover (DD) or gaming (DS). The kids plan what they want to do and eat and I help supply it. DD did have a big party of 20 kids when she turned 13 but neither she (or us parents) are too keen on doing that again.

We will keep letting them celebrate with a ''party" until they no longer want to do so.

We also usually acknowledge birthdays with our extended family that live in the area around each birthday as well....with a meal together.

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

My family must just love to party because we have one every year for every single person. I would say that the kids have 2 parties a year until they are about 12.....a friends party and a family dinner party with Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. After 12 or so, we add friends to the Family party.

My Nephew will be 19 this week and we are having a party Sunday night. It will be the whole family plus his girlfriend and his close group of friends with dinner and cake.

Last week started our birthday marathon with dh last week, my nephew this week, his Mom on the 18th, my neice, a close family friend and myself all on the 2nd of next month.....we kind of get sick of each other by Easter

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

This is our first year for DS10 and DS12 (soon to be) to not have a party. I told them I would take them to the NickHotel instead of parties this year. It costs about the same, and much less hassle for me, including the 5 -1/2 hour drive to Orlando. I hated throwing birthday parties for my kids.

 

[lspst8]

I had small parties when I was in elementary and middle school -- maybe a sleep-over for a few friends or a mini-golf or bowling outing. We didn't live near any extended family, so we never had "family parties." My mom would always make our favorite food for dinner and we always had cake and ice cream. (We still do this. This year for my 30th my mom made me stuffed pork chops, and my husband surprised me with an ice cream cake from dairy Queen!)

In high school, my mom threw me a birthday brunch for my 17th birthday. My birthday in is August, and I was working at an amusement park at the time. She invited 4 or 5 of my close friends for brunch before I had to go to work in the afternoon. I thought that was pretty cool idea.

I also had a larger party for my 18th birthday right before everyone went away to college. We skipped the high school graduation party and had an 18th birthday party instead -- it still wasn't huge. Maybe 30 or so kids.

 

[nikkistevej]

We have had a party for my DD7 until she doesn't want them anymore. LOL She loves the parties and loves the attention, some kids don't. My BF's DS told her he didn't want anymore birthday parties after his last year- he doesn't like all the attention, etc. So she is not doing one this year- we'll see what he thinks afterwards. I think it just depends on the kid. My DH's family is huge and there are lots of kids- so we've always just invited them- and it's about 15 kids from babies to 16yo- with most around DD's age- so we haven't even done the "friend" party yet.

 

[disykat]

We also stopped the school friend parties around age 10. After that, their birthdays are treated more like an adults. We either have just us for cake and dinner or maybe a few close friends for a special activity.

 

[Crystal0608]

I had bday parties at a park until I was 7, but I LOVE parties and planning them so.... my kids will have parties from age 1 til they say no more. They actually LOVE having bday parties and we start planning about 6-9 months in advance, I'm working on Aug & Dec plans already (kids are turning 10 & 9) .

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

DD and I just agreed that her recent 10th birthday party would be her last big blowout. After this we'll move to a sleepover with a friend or two, rented movies and pizza. She was good with this.

I told her I would re-think for her 16th birthday and her response surprised me. "Mommy, why would I get a big party for turning 16? It's not like I've done anything to earn it. I just had another birthday." I love my child. I might take her on a Disney cruise for that (or is that for me ).

 

[DisneyMissy318]

My daughter will be turning 12 this month - and has opted for "friend" party. We give her the choice. We offer an amount of $$ - and said you can have this for your party - or you can have it for your gift (it's going to be spent anyway) so the choice is hers. So far she has chosen to have a party. She planned this one - just wants to ride around in a limo with her friends - stop at the mall and for snacks - then back to the house for pizza, etc. and a sleepover. She's having 5 friends - and I'm sure they are going to have a ball! We will continue to give her the option of party or $$ - it's her birthday - her choice!

 

[rlovew]

We had parties with friends- we got to invite 1 friend for every year old we were- 4 friends at a 4th birthday- mom did allow a little leeway if it meant we would be leaving out only 1 or 2 children of the same sex in the class. For our 10th we got to have 10 friends for a slumber party and it was our last birthday party- we knew all along that it would be. After that we could take 1-2 friends out for dinner with mom and dad- it depended on where we choose how many were invited.

 

[taximomfor4]

We gave each kid a 1st birthday party for all family members. After that, we didn't. Once they are in preschool making friends, we let them choose EITHER a party OR a gift. ($100-125 max, either way). They all choose gifts, almost every single year. (One BABW party, one CEC party, one backyard cookout party total, for 4 kids.)

 

[MizTink]

we usually go out to dinner, then have cake and ice cream with family for all birthdays, kid or adult. depending on money, the kids might be able to bring a friend or 2.
even when we aren't able to go out to eat (money), we always at least get together for cake and ice cream!!
now i have noticed a lot of families that do NOTHING at all for their kids birthdays. i think it's sad.....
last summer DS had 2 friends who were having birthdays within 1 week of each other. my DD's made 2 cakes and i bought charcoal, hotdogs, chips, soda, etc and they had a little party for both the boys at our complex park. those boys were turning 16 and 17 and it really meant a lot to them. they still mention it sometimes!!!
i think it's odd that any parent could totally ignore their child's birthday.

 

[MizTink]

i've done the friend parties before, and i'll tell you it was terrible!!! wears me out! i like to bribe them with something they can get instead

 

[karenos]

Very timely post, OP. My DD just turned 11. She had a small party on her actual b'day, a small family party and a kid's party with 10 friends. I am party'ed out.

I told her that it was probably the last time we were doing that much. Next year will be on a much smaller scale....

karenos

 

[emma'smom]

"We will keep letting them celebrate with a ''party" until they no longer want to do so."

I think this is the line of thinking we plan to follow. My dds are 7 and 5 right now...so we've got plenty of parties ahead of us. I've done one for each of them every year since they were born. When they were younger, we invited a few families with kids the same age.

When dd7 was younger, I did big parties at our house. However, I've now encouraged them to have them someplace else. I don't have to clean before or after and usually they involve entertainment. Dd 5 had her's at the gymnastics center and dd7 plans to have her next one at the pool.