Catholic Wedding Alert!!!!!

[totalia]

Originally posted by Dalpal
JMHO,

Try praying!
For the couple getting married, The guys in the war fighting for us.
For the people NOT free enough to be able to go to a christian wedding, But most of all for yourself.
That should take up at least half of you time.


An Hr. is a small price to pay for what will be spent($) at the reception. So You can eat, DRINK, and party for free.
Betsy

Really.. and if your not Catholic? What should you be praying to? Do you suggest that I break out my pentacle necklace and pray to my goddess or do you think that would be insulting? (sarcasm in case you din't get it. But it really would be insulting to do that in a catholic church and I can think of alot of catholics who would take severe exception to that).

I've said it before, and I will say it again. The day is about more than the bride and the groom. If you have to get up to use the bathroom during the ceremony, its too bloody long.

Brides and grooms need to be considerate of their guests too.

 

[auntpolly]

I know! Those inconsiderate people who think they have the right to trouble their friends and family members with an hour or longer religious ceremony that is very important to them! How dare they! Wait! I was one of those people ... and wait! I'm being sarcastic.

 

[Lachesis00]

Honestly I zoned out :/ I didn't mean to Even a couple of the best men we're looking like they we're in lala land... the groom yawned at one point so it wasn't just me.

 

[Strawberry Lemonade]

Originally posted by totalia
Really.. and if your not Catholic? What should you be praying to? Do you suggest that I break out my pentacle necklace and pray to my goddess or do you think that would be insulting? (sarcasm in case you din't get it. But it really would be insulting to do that in a catholic church and I can think of alot of catholics who would take severe exception to that).

I've said it before, and I will say it again. The day is about more than the bride and the groom. If you have to get up to use the bathroom during the ceremony, its too bloody long.

Brides and grooms need to be considerate of their guests too.

You don't have to be Catholic to pray in a Catholic church. If you don't make a big show out of taking out your pentacle necklace and praying to your goddess (which would be just as disrespectful to the bride and groom as it would be to the church) and pray to yourself, then there is no reason you can't do it.

If you can't hold your bladder for two hours then maybe you ought to lay off the fluids for a little while before the ceremony or see a doctor.

 

[Christine]

Originally posted by Strawberry Lemonade
can't do it.

If you can't hold your bladder for two hours then maybe you ought to lay off the fluids for a little while before the ceremony or see a doctor.

As long as the bride and groom give some warning, that's fine. When you're counting on a 1 hour ceremony and get one for 2 hours, that's a bit much. There were a two or three 90-year old women at that wedding who I'm sure were suffering!!!

And no, this wedding that I went to was a full 1 hour and 45 minutes. We waited outside the church for another 20 minutes or so waiting for them to come out. Receiving line, bubble blowing etc, were all additional time.

I'm really not quite sure what they did. I zoned out too, as another poster said. There was no music or singing. I guess a few people did readings. After all that, the priest forgot to do the "you may now kiss the bride thing." We were all standing there waiting and nothing. So they never even had their wedding kiss.

 

[Strawberry Lemonade]

I'm not talking about 90 year old women. I'm talking about otherwise healthy young to middle aged adults. If it's such a big deal, just ASK how long the ceremony is expected to last. You can't really expect brides and grooms to put the length of the ceremony on the invitation.

 

[Dalpal]

You don't have to be Catholic to pray in a Catholic church. If you don't make a big show out of taking out your pentacle necklace and praying to your goddess (which would be just as disrespectful to the bride and groom as it would be to the church) and pray to yourself, then there is no reason you can't do it.

Well said...Thank you. No one is telling you who to pray to, and
Im not saying that long weddings are fun...some are not...some are nice.
We are all adults here(I think).....You are there to support them....To let them know you hope they have a happy life together...I hope any of my friends would not mind taking an hr. or so of there time for me.
Also if you have to go to the bathroom then go ...quietly. No one expects you to be in pain holding it.
Its the same with any service...I have never been to a church where a bathroom is not present.

 

[Christine]

No, I don't expect them to put it on the invitation but I do expect my BIL to mention it--but I really don't think *he* even had a clue. And some healthy, middle age adults do have a hard time holding their bladders for 2 hours right after they have had lunch that may include a glass of water, soda etc. From the amount of people getting up to use the rest room during the last 30 minutes of the ceremony, you can tell it went on about 30 minutes long.

I can tell that you don't mind these long ceremonies and that's fine. But many people do as evidenced by this thread. And I'm not advocating "only 20 minute wedding ceremonies", I am just not thrilled with the ones that go well over what is reasonable. I think one hour is a reasonable wedding ceremony. I think close to two hours is not reasonable. I think anytime you go out of the norm, it wouldn't hurt to let the guests know (by word of mouth--especially when you see them all the time). Something like "hey, Grandma, just wanted you to know that our ceremony is going to a bit lengthy." Just as if one was having a 3-minute ceremony "hey, don't show up late, you might miss the ceremony." I just like people to be considerate of others. Nor do I think the bride and groom should change what they want either. If they want a 3 hour ceremony for their special day, so be it. But, I think that is unusual and I believe that they should let people know it will last that long. Especially if children are invited. By BIL invited a ton of kids to his wedding and I know those parents would have wanted to know that they had a 2-hour ordeal on their hands.

 

[Pin Wizard]

Originally posted by totalia
The day is about more than the bride and the groom. If you have to get up to use the bathroom during the ceremony, its too bloody long.

Brides and grooms need to be considerate of their guests too.

I think you're missing the point if you think it's about more than the bride and groom! It is THEIR wedding!

I had my son trained at 4 years old to go to the bathroom before church. If he can wait an hour, I think most can. And if someone must go, I'm sure they can leave without making a scene.

 

[Strawberry Lemonade]

I'm not even going to argue about the bathroom. If you gotta go, then go. Like Dalpal said, do it quietly and don't draw attention to yourself. If your BIL, who I assume was the one getting married, doesn't know how long his own wedding ceremony will be, then he needs to become a little more involved in the planning.

Giving Grandma a heads up is a great idea, but normally one wouldn't think that anyone else, save the elderly or parents of really young children, would need to know how long the ceremony would be ahead of time. Like I said, if it means that much to you, ASK.

 

[auntpolly]

Originally posted by Christine


I can tell that you don't mind these long ceremonies and that's fine. But many people do as evidenced by this thread. And I'm not advocating "only 20 minute wedding ceremonies", I am just not thrilled with the ones that go well over what is reasonable.

I have an idea! From now on, brides and grooms should send out a survey to all potential guests as to how much they are willing to put up with in terms of sitting still and holding your bladder.

Again, of course, being sarcastic! A mass is an important part of a Catholic wedding. Some priests are more long winded than others. Sometimes there is special music. I wouldn't in my wildest dreams suggest to my DD that she cut down on the ceremony because someone might consider it "unreasonable".

I've been to plenty of weddings that were not my cup of tea -- but you know, they weren't performed soley for my entertainment!

 

[caitycaity]

for those suggesting people should pray, what about people who don't pray, like me?

Honestly I am very shocked to hear this... now if the person taking communion truly believed in transubstantiation and that they were, indeed taking the body & blood of Christ, then I could be okay with it. But honestly, unless you do believe that, I do not think it is too much to ask for you to sit it out or receive a blessing instead. I know that I wouldn't feel comfortable taking communion in any other church but my own (and I have gone to others and have been offered). Just out of respect of other religions and nothing else... JMHO

i have to agree with you.

i attended a wedding once where the bride said everyone HAD to take communion regardless of their religion (the priest was ok with this ). i refused.

 

[Strawberry Lemonade]

Originally posted by caitycaity
for those suggesting people should pray, what about people who don't pray, like me?

Meditate. It's non-religious.

 

[Bichon Barb]

Originally posted by auntpolly
I have an idea! From now on, brides and grooms should send out a survey to all potential guests as to how much they are willing to put up with in terms of sitting still and holding your bladder.

And don't forget, guests should feel free to bring their flock of kids along--even if children aren't invited.

So let's talk about what REALLY irks me. Receptions that start three hours AFTER the ceremony. Especially if the wedding is out of town.

 

[helenabear]

Originally posted by caitycaity
for those suggesting people should pray, what about people who don't pray, like me?

i attended a wedding once where the bride said everyone HAD to take communion regardless of their religion (the priest was ok with this ). i refused.

Okay that totally floors me!!! I would have refused if I were in your situation as well! It is one thing to have a wedding ceremony be about the bride and the groom. It is another to have a bride and groom force rituals/beliefs (however you want to classify) on guests who do not feel the same way. I am very glad you refused.

I wasn't one who suggested that you pray during a ceremony that is of a different faith/religion/belief structure as your own, but I'll answer my thoughts on that one anyway I honestly think at all wedding ceremonies I have been to, I could either enjoy the music while it was playing or if a reading/preaching was being done, I'd be happy to think about what was said. Now I have been to a number of different weddings that were not of my faith, and even if I don't agree with what was being said, I can just sit and think about it all, and "reflect" on it. You know see what I can take out of it. Even if you don't believe in God or whatever higher power/spirit(s) of a religion, I can usually find something that interests me to think about.
I guess at minimum, I would be interested in all that was said, as that might give me an insight into the bride and groom.... after all they picked the songs/readings and possibly even the officiant because it kind of is a reflection of who they are (at least that was true for us). I guess that didn't really answer, but I know I can find many things to think and reflect on during a wedding whether I "believed as the couple does" or not

 

[*Fantasia*]

Originally posted by Beth76
3 HOURS!!!!!! What could you possibly do or say in a wedding for 3 hours? Or for 1 hour even? My wedding was about 15 minutes and we did everything that needed to be done to get married.

THREE HOURS!!! That's torture! Ok, I understand, this is their wedding, but that's stretching it! I am Catholic and I am willing to sit for an hour and a half to see their wedding and for the Mass, that's fine...BUT 3 HRS is a bit too much. One hour for the Mass...and TWO HOURS to say the VOWS? NO WAY!

 

[beattyfamily]

I'm shocked by the length of some weddings mentioned here. I'm Catholic. I've been to several beautiful Catholic weddings and none were more than an hour even with the full Mass.

I cannot fathom why they'd run 2 or 3 hours. That IS, indeed, crazy.

 

[Dalpal]

for those suggesting people should pray, what about people who don't pray, like me?

Then just think about how nice it was to be invited to the wedding.
It must be very hard to figure out who to invite and who to leave out.
A big wedding is a big expense to the people paying for it. Just be happy you were included on the guest list.
Or meditate.....or twiddle your thumbs...It doesnt matter as long as you are not being distracting to others who would like to enjoy the service.
and you could do the same as you wait for everybody to take communion.
I am Catholic(converted a few years back). I dont take communion, because I dont go to confession(personal preference). So I sit quietly and wait for the rest of my family to come back. Alot of Catholics dont take communion.
Also 3 hrs. is not the norm. There is a limit to everything. The OP was not complaining about a 3 hr. wedding.

 

[whtyger97]

The reason you aren't supposed to recieve communion unless you are catholic is that catholics believe that communion is no longer bread and wine, but that it is Jesus. Protestants believe that communion is a symbol of Jesus, but that the host isn't transformed. Its not that they are trying to exclude you because you are from a different religion, its because you do not believe its the actual body and blood and NOT a symbol.

This is one of the fundamental believes of catholics, and the really big deal breaker between protestants and catholics.

 

[Bichon Barb]

I've never heard of a three hour Catholic wedding mass. I've been to many, and they've all been around an hour. (Me thinketh some people just like to do a little Catholic bashing when they can sneak it in.)