Caring for grandparent with dementia

[Poohlove]

My Grandmother is 88 and has dementia. I found a wonderful tool that has brought her a great deal of joy and I wanted to share it with everyone in hopes that maybe it will bring some comfort to your loved ones. It is so basic I thumped myself in the head for nor thinking of it sooner. Drum roll please.... a baby doll. It was only $7 and it is about the size of a newborn. It doesn't make any noises or do anything special but my grandmother loves the daylights out of it. Night time was particularly rough for her (and my dad as he is the one up with her all night) but she has been much calmer and is actually sleeping through the night instead of rattling her bed rails and cursing like a drunken sailor. I am sure it is not 100% the doll but it sure has helped. During the day she holds it and it sits with her on the couch.

Do any of you have any tips or tricks that you use to help your aging family members?

 

[King Schultz]

I'm dealing with this with my mother. . . not every night, but more and more she gets especially anxious at night.

Once she's asleep, she stays asleep, but getting her calmed down and relaxed enough to nod off can be a chore.

I'll keep the doll suggestion in mind, but we do have a teddy bear a cousin of mine made out of an old mink coat- I'm going to give it to her tonight and see what happens.

Thanks for sharing your experience, and bless you and your parents for taking care of your grandmother.

 

[cabanafrau]

My Grandmother is 88 and has dementia. I found a wonderful tool that has brought her a great deal of joy and I wanted to share it with everyone in hopes that maybe it will bring some comfort to your loved ones. It is so basic I thumped myself in the head for nor thinking of it sooner. Drum roll please.... a baby doll. It was $7 and the size of a newborn. It doesn't make any noises or do anything special but my grandmother loves the daylights out of it. Night time was particularly rough for her (and my dad as he is the one up with her all night) but she has been much calmer and is actually sleeping through the night instead of rattling her bed rails and cursing like a drunken sailor. I am sure it is not 100% the doll but it sure has helped. During the day she holds it and it sits with her on the couch.

Do any of you have any tips or tricks that you use to help your aging family members?

Friends of ours from church moved in with the husband's mother for several months in an attempt to keep her in familiar surroundings of her own home. The wife realized that some of her agitation was frustration at not being able to busy herself as she was used to during the years of raising a large family. She knew her MIL wasn't very stable mobility wise, her fine motor skills were lacking and her memory issues presented a lot of problems but she realized none of that mattered when she could be seated at the table or on the sofa with a basket of towels to fold. She kept a basket of towels in a laundry basket in their room and would pull it out several times a day when her MIL was becoming agitated and lashing out. She realized it satisfied something in her MIL to be asked to "help out" and feel like she was productive the way she was accustomed to being around the house.

Best of luck to your grandparents. You just don't know what kind of association of thoughts the baby doll may be triggering for your grandma or how it may be helping her. But for darn sure it is and it can't hurt.

 

[Poohlove]

My Grandmother was always caring for others, she is 18 years older than her youngest siblings and cared for them while my great grandmother worked as a seamstress. There were various times where her nieces and nephews stayed with my grandparents for an extended period of time for numerous reasons. She practically raised my cousin (my dad's only sibling is a sister who had 1 child) and was like a personal assistant for my aunt. She cared for my grandfather through prostate cancer, several major heart attacks and eventually his battle with Alzheimers. She kept him home on the house that he built for his family where he passed in the living room peacefully at night. She is a wonderful woman and it breaks my heart to see her like this but she deserves to be surrounded by her loved ones as much as possible as that is what has always brought her joy.

Shortly after my grandfather passed she got herself a man friend. They were together all the time, she stopped driving and practically everything else for that matter. We tried to intervene but neither would hear any parts of it. Her boyfriend was 6 years older than her and not in great physical health. They were living alone and after some convincing as to not make it terribly tragic for all he realized that he couldn't care for her the way she needed to be cared for. We brought her home to the home she raised her family in and my dad and aunt take turns caring for her I'm her home. They each do a week and switch every Wednesday. It had worked out well for everyone given the situation. My sister and I are the only 2 of the 4 grandchildren she has to visit her. Our brother lives in New Hampshire and my cousin has a really hard time seeing her this way so he doesn't come over - I can't stress enough that I am not judging him.

Back to night time, hospice tried her on several anti depressants and anti psychotics with little to no luck and a slew of side effects so my father and aunt would do their best to try to calm her. Chocolate chip waffles seem to help

 

[Poohlove]

I'm dealing with this with my mother. . . not every night, but more and more she gets especially anxious at night.

Once she's asleep, she stays asleep, but getting her calmed down and relaxed enough to nod off can be a chore.

I'll keep the doll suggestion in mind, but we do have a teddy bear a cousin of mine made out of an old mink coat- I'm going to give it to her tonight and see what happens.

Thanks for sharing your experience, and bless you and your parents for taking care of your grandmother.

My grandmother has a couple of stuffed animals that she liked but more for entertainment purposes. She always liked the animated ones so that is what she haS around. We tried to give her things to fold, I got her some bandanas to use because she also likes to put things in her mouth and up her nose and they were easy to keep separate. That didn't last too long. When I told my Mom about the doll she said that when her grandmother was in the facility she was in someone had given her a doll that she would carry around with her. She had totally forgotten about it.

Hang in there with your mom, I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers!

 

[Poohlove]

Friends of ours from church moved in with the husband's mother for several months in an attempt to keep her in familiar surroundings of her own home. The wife realized that some of her agitation was frustration at not being able to busy herself as she was used to during the years of raising a large family. She knew her MIL wasn't very stable mobility wise, her fine motor skills were lacking and her memory issues presented a lot of problems but she realized none of that mattered when she could be seated at the table or on the sofa with a basket of towels to fold. She kept a basket of towels in a laundry basket in their room and would pull it out several times a day when her MIL was becoming agitated and lashing out. She realized it satisfied something in her MIL to be asked to "help out" and feel like she was productive the way she was accustomed to being around the house.

Best of luck to your grandparents. You just don't know what kind of association of thoughts the baby doll may be triggering for your grandma or how it may be helping her. But for darn sure it is and it can't hurt.

If she isn't happy we all know it lol!!! We tried giving her things to fold because she always loved doing laundry but it didn't keep her interest long. I was very surprised by it. The home health aides tried coloring with her but she kept putting the crayons and pencils in her mouth. We used to take her out into the yard and walk her around but she is too unsteady for that now. She does still get up and walk the house though. We keep a path clear and she will walk the same loop for an hour. That seems to help her unwind a little.

 

[SMD]

My friend's mom has dementia and has been caring for a baby doll too. It's sort of strange, because she has pets, but it's the doll that she chooses to care for. She also likes to blare pop music in the car and has a drum and tambourine to accompany some songs. She has 7 children and many grandchildren, so the baby doll wasn't a surprise, but the pop music came out of nowhere.

 

[Poohlove]

My friend's mom has dementia and has been caring for a baby doll too. It's sort of strange, because she has pets, but it's the doll that she chooses to care for. She also likes to blare pop music in the car and has a drum and tambourine to accompany some songs. She has 7 children and many grandchildren, so the baby doll wasn't a surprise, but the pop music came out of nowhere.

Lol, maybe it's some repressed alter ego she has. My grandmother loves music, she like to dance and smack her butt. It's pretty funny, she was always a jokester though.

 

[Owlpost23]

Had a friend whose grandmother had dementia and was in a facility.The home had a great solution for the ladies-a basket of clean baby clothes that they could all fold.They folded and talked about their babies.It was a terrific idea.

 

[anniemae]

Yup, when my grandma was in a dementia facility, they had all kinds of dolls and stuffed animals for the residents. I was amazed at how gently my grandma would hold the doll and have it sit with her etc. Almost like a security blanket.

 

[Katlyn]

My Mom also liked to have a baby doll to care for as did a lot of the other ladies in her ward. The basket of clothes to fold also worked for awhile.

 

[E&Cmom]

I am a RN and worked in long term care severel years both as a student and for the first few years in my career. I agree with the baby doll as well as basket of laudrey to fold. I remember lots of residents with dementia also seemed always to be " organizing" their drawers so maybe a drawer or box of things she can go through and organize.

 

[Poohlove]

I am a RN and worked in long term care severel years both as a student and for the first few years in my career. I agree with the baby doll as well as basket of laudrey to fold. I remember lots of residents with Demenia also seemed always be " organizing" their drawers so maybe a drawer or box of things they can go through and organize.

That's a great idea, she was always fussing over things for lack of a better word. I will have to give that a try.

 

[powellrj]

When my mom was still at home, Little House and The Waltons would calm her down.

When she was in the dementia facility, the staff was great about letting her do what she wanted to do. She has a swiffer that she would use, while she was in a wheel chair. They let her play her parts. Some days she was a business owner and her and the girls would work at the store all day and other days she was a teacher and would have spelling tests and lead them in the pledge and sometimes she was on staff and she would make lists with a notebook and try to answer the phones.

 

[Poohlove]

When my mom was still at home, Little House and The Waltons would calm her down.

When she was in the dementia facility, the staff was great about letting her do what she wanted to do. She has a swiffer that she would use, while she was in a wheel chair. They let her play her parts. Some days she was a business owner and her and the girls would work at the store all day and other days she was a teacher and would have spelling tests and lead them in the pledge and sometimes she was on staff and she would make lists with a notebook and try to answer the phones.

That is very sweet! My great grandmother thought that the others in her section were her kids and she would help the staff clean up the dining room after meals.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I didn't realize folding was so popular! - One of DH's grandmothers used to fold laundry for his mom all the time.

(The other one became fast friends with their little dog. - They lived with my in-laws at different times, a few years apart.)

 

[E&Cmom]

I didn't realize folding was so popular! - One of DH's grandmothers used to fold laundry for his mom all the time.

(The other one became fast friends with their little dog. - They lived with my in-laws at different times, a few years apart.)

If permitted, visits with pets is wonderful and benefitial for those in residential care. My friend is a site leader at a facility and they have a house cat and it gets and gives so much love to them. Also visits from babies and kids. When my eldest was a baby, I sometimes took her to the facility I had worked and their faces would light up when I brought her in. I guess that is why baby dolls are a great idea.

 

[THEDISNEYTHREE]

.

 

[jerseygal]

My Grandmother is 88 and has dementia. I found a wonderful tool that has brought her a great deal of joy and I wanted to share it with everyone in hopes that maybe it will bring some comfort to your loved ones. It is so basic I thumped myself in the head for nor thinking of it sooner. Drum roll please.... a baby doll. It was only $7 and it is about the size of a newborn. It doesn't make any noises or do anything special but my grandmother loves the daylights out of it. Night time was particularly rough for her (and my dad as he is the one up with her all night) but she has been much calmer and is actually sleeping through the night instead of rattling her bed rails and cursing like a drunken sailor. I am sure it is not 100% the doll but it sure has helped. During the day she holds it and it sits with her on the couch.

Do any of you have any tips or tricks that you use to help your aging family members?

You sound like an AMAZING grandchild! So CARING and thoughtful. Reading this made me SAD! This is an awful disease. Let's hope that great strides are made in the future for dementia and Alzheimers.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

Yes, dolls, folding clothes, and singing around a piano are things that today's older generations enjoy.

It will be interesting to see how or if that changes as people who are younger now, age and enter these facilities. I don't mind folding clothes, but it's not a chore I'd go out of my way to pick! Lol. I'd also probably choose a dog stuffed animal over a baby knowing myself. (Not that I don't like babies, I had two of my own. I just really love dogs and could imagine myself choosing one if it was available!)