Can't afford open bar for whole wedding-is this acceptable instead?*Update on pg 20*

[Snoozan]

**Update on page 20***My DS is getting married in June. They are paying for most of the reception costs themselves. Realistically, there is no way they could afford an open bar for the whole wedding. Around here, it is not the norm to offer an open bar for the whole reception, but what do people think of offering either the first hour of the reception as open bar for beer/wine as an alternative? Or maybe putting a ticket or two for a free drink with their table placement cards?

 

[JessB320]

I think any of those is fine . I have been to several beer and wine receptions and they were ate lovely.

 

[bimshire]

Most parents who pay for the reception would not have an open bar for the entire wedding because the bill would be astronomical. What I am accustom to is an Open Bar for the first hour and then guests can fund their own alcoholic pleasures.

When we got married, there was no bar which was our decision and I bet my wife's Dad who was paying love that.

 

[Julylady]

I think just beer and wine is fine. I went to a wedding last year with about 200 guests. The reception was at a hotel. There was a bartender for the bridal party and the parent table only. Other guests wanting drinks had to go outside the reception to the hotel bar and wait for them. That was tacky!

 

[thedonduck]

We had open bar for the wedding party and parents. For everyone else we had free beer, soda, and juice/milk (we had a lot of little kids). This seems to be what is common for the majority of the weddings we have been to

 

[Christine]

I've been to a few different types of weddings.

I've been to one where beer and wine were "open" but mixed drinks were not. I've been to a full cash bar (no big deal).

I don't know know how I feel about the whole "tickets" thing. That seems a little odd but I think it's fine too.

I think the one thing you should do, since open bars are the "norm" in your area and you can't afford it is that when you send out the invites--in the area where the food selections are just note that its a cash bar so people come prepared with money. I've actually heard people complaining about that. I'm pretty much a non-drinker so I don't get all the angst over it but I do think you need to prepare your guests to have cash on hand if it's not the norm in your area.

 

[emer95]

Ive never been to a wedding that didn't have an open bar for the whole reception, other than during the dinner hour. I think I'd be shocked to go to a wedding and pay for my own drink. I'm not a big drinker by any means- one or two and I'm good.

Could they afford to do beer and wine for the whole evening?

To each their own, though. They should do what they can and not go into major debt over alcohol. Just giving you my honest reaction. I wonder if it's a regional thing? I'm in NY.

 

[LiveYourLife]

My DS is getting married in June. They are paying for most of the reception costs themselves. Realistically, there is no way they could afford an open bar for the whole wedding. Around here, it is not the norm to offer an open bar for the whole reception, but what do people think of offering either the first hour of the reception as open bar for beer/wine as an alternative? Or maybe putting a ticket or two for a free drink with their table placement cards?

Hi OP, a couple of questions for you:

Is this a destination wedding? Or a hometown wedding? If the latter, will the Reception venue allow you to bring in your own beverages and just pay a corkage fee?

In my professional experience, if the budget does not allow for the Hosts of the event to provide an open bar for the entire duration of the event, then I would do a cash bar for the entire event.

Drink tickets are tacky. It's like the message being conveyed to the guests is that each guest is worth only one or two drinks.

Is the meal plated or buffet? If, plated is there room in the budget to do wine service with dinner??

I couldn't tell by your original post if you remove the liquor from the bar and just offer beer and wine, will that allow for the Hosts to provide beverages for the guests for the entire event?

 

[SpartansFan]

I think just beer and wine is fine. I went to a wedding last year with about 200 guests. The reception was at a hotel. There was a bartender for the bridal party and the parent table only. Other guests wanting drinks had to go outside the reception to the hotel bar and wait for them. That was tacky!

Wow! That is incredibly tacky. Brides and grooms forgetting about the enjoyment and comfort of their guests just bothers me.


To the OP, I have never been to a wedding that did not have an open bar for the guests, so that might color my response. With that said, I would absolutely not recommend the ticket idea. I think providing an open bar for more limited hours seems like your best bet. I would open for a while before dinner and for a while after and then close it down if the budget is limited.

 

[Terapin]

We had wine (red and white, and good quality) and champagne, as well as two kids of on-tap beer at our wedding. We didn't see a need for other alcohol, and we couldn't afford it either. It was very reasonable and no one seemed to be missing out. We didn't miss having totally inebriated guests, either.

 

[SpartansFan]

Ive never been to a wedding that didn't have an open bar for the whole reception, other than during the dinner hour. I think I'd be shocked to go to a wedding and pay for my own drink. I'm not a big drinker by any means- one or two and I'm good.

Could they afford to do beer and wine for the whole evening?

To each their own, though. They should do what they can and not go into major debt over alcohol. Just giving you my honest reaction. I wonder if it's a regional thing? I'm in NY.

I'm in Michigan and feel the same. In my honest opinion, other budget items should be trimmed before cutting out something that most guests will think is mandatory. If my budget were that limited, I would have a smaller wedding and attend to the comforts of the guests that were invited.

 

[shoney]

I've never been to a wedding where guests had to pay for a drink.

I would do beer/wine only if budget was a concern. I would cut other places to do so.

I would never offer free drinks to a select few. To me that would be like serving filet mignon to the bridal party and hamburgers to everyone else.

 

[Laura66]

I know some people think cash bars are fine. I don't get it - I've never been to one. The thought of asking people who come to your wedding and give you a gift - and then also to ask them to now pay for their beverages just seems so rude. The same goes for money dances, asking for additional money for a honeymoon!
I get that it's the bride and groom's day - but you have the party/celebration you can afford. You don't hit your guests up to pay for it!

 

[Snowysmom]

My older DS and DDIL had an open bar for the cocktail hour. After that it was a cash bar. No one had a problem with that. They were paying for a majority of their wedding and they had other places to put their money like into a really good photographer. We were able to help them out a bit but not enough for an open bar for 5 hours. Younger DS is getting married next year and intends to do the same thing.

 

[JVL1018]

I've never been to a wedding that didn't have a full on open bar throughout(cocktail hour plus the 4 hour reception).


However, you said that's not the norm by you, so I wouldn't worry about it. I'd go with what the norm is.

If you want some alcohol, non wedding formal events we go to often have a bottle of red and a bottle of white on the tables when we sit down. They also have the open bar..but even if they didn't, I think that's a good compromise. A bottle of each on the table, one extra bottle for each table to replenish. That can't cost too much money.

 

[Laura66]

I know some people think cash bars are fine. I don't get it - I've never been to one. The thought of asking people who come to your wedding and give you a gift - and then also to ask them to now pay for their beverages just seems so rude. The same goes for money dances, asking for additional money for a honeymoon!
I get that it's the bride and groom's day - but you have the party/celebration you can afford. You don't hit your guests up to pay for it!

 

[Laura66]

Sorry I posted 2x - don't know how that happened or how to delete

 

[Mama-san]

Having an open bar or drinking at the reception is really not the norm around here either. I think having a cocktail hour with only beer and wine is perfectly fine. I attended a wedding in northern VA last year that did the same, and in addition to beer and wine they offered one signature cocktail also (some sort of martini) which I think would be a good compromise.

 

[LiveYourLife]

To the OP's defense, she is correct in that where she is, it is not expected that Wedding Receptions have an open bar paid for by the Hosts. Cash bars are the norm in MA, whereas in the Tri-State area, cash bars are not and extremely frowned upon.

I agree with removing other elements from the Ceremony and/or Reception to make room in the budget to provide, at the very least, beer and wine for the entire duration of the event for their guests.

 

[Snoozan]

OP here - Thanks for the responses. I realized when I posted alot of the responses would be based on region. Around here, cash bars are not that unusual, but I'm thinking my DH & I will probably contribute towards an hour or two of open bar. My DS & fiance cannot trim expenses from anything else - they are doing this at a nice venue that they 'won' the use of the reception facility at a bridal show, but still have to pay for catering. With a mortgage and my future DDIL going to nursing school full-time, there's no extra $$$ in their budget.