Cancel trip... or go with heavy hearts.

[707MickeyGirl]

Hello DISers. I have a hard decision to make, right on the heels of another very difficult decision. We helped our beloved 16 1/2 year old dog to a peaceful end yesterday, after a very long and happy life. We are heartbroken, even knowing that it was the most compassionate thing to do for him. Tomorrow, we are supposed to fly down to the parks for a special trip to celebrate my daughter's 30th birthday, but neither she nor I are sure we should go. I think we might need to cancel this trip.

I read a lot of posts on this board, and I know a lot of you have taken trips during times of sadness. I guess what I'm trying to decide is whether or not we would be able to put our grief aside briefly, and try to embrace the joy and magic we usually find at Disneyland. Is that possible? I would greatly appreciate any wise words.

 

[todzwife]

You should still go! Celebrate the many years you had with your dog. If you don't go, what are you going to do?

 

[Miggee]

i'm so sorry for your loss, my whole family fell into a deep depression after we lost our beloved dog to cancer. this is a decision you have to make as a family, personally I would keep going as I believe that's what your dog would wanted, your dog would wanted you to live and be happy.

 

[Khokhonutt]

Sorry for your loss. Putting down our dog at a little over 16 years old was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It's a crappy responsibility, but it's the right thing to do for them. It took me a while to get over him being gone and it was quite a long time before I could really talk about it, but life did have to go on. I even found room for another pup after a couple months of my wife prodding me.

If it was me, I think I'd go. The people I've lost in my life have gone to great lengths to stress that they want to be remembered for the good times. My grandma flat out said, don't come see me when I'm on my deathbed if you didn't come visit me when I was fine. For her especially I felt it was important to remember the good times, not the end of her life. It would be a tremendous disservice to a great life to not remember her at her best.

I feel the same way about my pets. It was damn hard at first to not think of our old boy's passing, but I refused to let that be my strongest memory of him. I prefer to remember the good times and what place better to help you remember good memories than a Disney park. I'm sure tears will be shed, but hopefully the smiles will prevail. Unless you feel that will ruin your trip, I'd go.

That said, it's obviously your call. Good luck with your decision and your healing.

 

[rentayenta]

So tough and I am truly sorry for your family's loss. I am unsure what I would do but know you'll make the best decision for your family.

 

[lunaland]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had the exact opposite issue in December. While at Disneyland my 16 year old dog, who had shown no signs of distress upon our leaving, began having problems. We remained on vacation after consulting with our live in pet sitter and only having 3 days left on vacation. When we got home it was apparent that it was time, however we did wait another 48 hours to ensure that some supportive care from her people wouldn't cause a miraculous turn around. It didn't, and we did have to let her go. Obviously we were (and a few months later still are) heartbroken.

As to if you should go- I do have a few thoughts. Is this trip occuring over your daughter's actual Birthday, or just to celebrate it before/after the fact? If it's for her actual birthday, personally I would go. You will be sad either way, but more distracted at Disneyland. If its to celebrate, can you reschedule? If so, I would.

I think my instinct would be to cancel, but that once I did and I was home with my thoughts I would regret it. But only you know how you will handle the grief. Maybe being together, away from home, will give you distraction and joy during the day and time to reflect and cry in the hotel at night? Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

 

[GeneralTso]

I just want to say I'm so sorry. My sweet dog is 16 and I know every year we have with him is a grand bonus. I can't imagine the heartbreak.
I don't really have an opinion for your situation. Just go with your heart. You'll know. Everyone grieves differently and no one should judge.

 

[cruisehopeful]

I'm really sorry to read that. You are going to be sad whether you go or not. Personally, I think you should go and even if you stay sad most of the time, you can consider it to be a memorial trip. Keep a kleenex in your pocket for when you see a dog (Pluto, the dog in POTC to name a couple). Just my opinion. Of course, you know yourselves better than I do.

 

[707MickeyGirl]

Thank you all so much for your sweet replies. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I think for now, I'm just going to wait. We still have this evening and tomorrow morning to see how we feel. We don't need to leave for the airport until around 1pm.

 

[branv]

About 5 years back I came home to find my beloved cat had passed unexpectedly. I feel weird saying this about a pet, but it was honestly one of the hardest moments of my life. We flew out to WDW a few days later.

Honestly, I wish there been a way to cancel the trip. But it was partly a business trip for DH, flights were nonrefundable, etc. So we went. I still had fun, don't get me wrong. But it was all tainted by an underlying sadness. I was really looking forward to that trip, so as selfish as it sounds, I was also sad that the trip wasn't what I'd dreamed of. Since we don't get to travel more than once every year or two, I wish we'd waited until we could really enjoy the trip like we'd hoped. And, this is very much an individual preference, but being out in public so much where I couldn't "give in" to grief when it hit unexpectedly (as it tends to) felt like a big struggle. And it all hit like a fresh wave when I walked back in the door after our trip. It was just too soon for me. Again, totally individual. Some people feel better thinking about anything else, being distracted or being reminded of good things. Personally I need to face it up front and head on to heal and accept.

If this is a special trip, one which you want to have nothing but great memories of, I say you postpone. If not being there would depress you further, than go. Ultimately just do what feels best.

Sending you much hope for healing.

 

[StarlitNight05]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I actually just went through a similar situation, although a bit different. I was going to go to DL at the end of March when our beloved fur kid (cat) fell ill a few weeks before our trip. At that point I didn't know whether he would improve so I held out thinking I'd be able to go if he made a recovery. He ended up holding out on meds for a few weeks, seemed to get better for a bit, and then dramatically declined. We couldn't see him suffer anymore, and made the choice of saying goodbye. It was so hard, but I knew it was the right thing to do.

In my case my little guy wasn't gone yet, so it's a bit different, but I'd say that it totally depends on how you feel about it. For me, I probably wouldn't have enjoyed myself if he left us just before the trip. But I'm pretty emotional and it takes me longer to get out of that bad place you can go in hard times. Other people may feel differently and actually need something to take their minds off of the situation. If that's the type of person you are, I'd say to go.

Whatever you decide, I hope you are able to find some comfort in your sweet pup's memories during this difficult time.

 

[YukonMommy]

I believe that we honor those who have passed (whether it be family, friends or pets) by living life to the fullest. Life is meant to be lived and a life lived is meant to be celebrated. Hold the amazing memories you have made with your dog near and dear to your heart, but go and make more and new amazing memories with your daughter. Which ever choice you make I wish you comfort and healing.

 

[jerseyjersey]

I'm sorry about your pup.

We took a family trip fairly soon after a devastating death in our family (my 30-something husband). I struggled with whether it was appropriate to go to the happiest place on Earth when we were still struggling so much with the loss, but it truly was the best thing for our family. The change of scenery was such a good thing, and it was really helpful to have moments of normalcy and laughter, which were very hard to come by at home, at the time. It's also, 3 years later, a bright spot in looking back on a very tough time. With all that said, I'd vote that you should go and try your best to enjoy it.

 

[VandVsmama]

You need to go on the trip. It will help you and your family heal a bit.

I went to DL by myself the day after the funeral of one of my best friends from college. She lived in So Cal and we'd remained friends ever since college. She was an AP holder and would often go once or twice a week after work to unwind. I'm so glad that I went. It was cathartic. I was happy, sad, and everything in between that day. There was even a really magical moment with some really great cast members where I just cried and they all gave me hugs. Going to DL that day was just really incredible and emotionally very moving and I'll never forget it.

Please don't cancel your trip. Go. You won't regret it. Plan on spreading some Disney love and magic to others while you are there. Buy a child a Mickey balloon. Make some thank you cards for cast members and hand them out to CMs that you feel deserve them. Pay it forward and buy the coffee for the guest in line behind you at Starbucks. Stuff like that.

 

[theluckyrabbit]

... Please don't cancel your trip. Go. You won't regret it. Plan on spreading some Disney love and magic to others while you are there. Buy a child a Mickey balloon. Make some thank you cards for cast members and hand them out to CMs that you feel deserve them. Pay it forward and buy the coffee for the guest in line behind you at Starbucks. Stuff like that.

Really like this idea. Maybe you could plan some magic for the CMs in the DLR Kennel in honor of your beloved pet? Thinking of all the ways you can spread the magic to celebrate your DD's birthday and your pet's life, too, will help you see, experience, and enjoy the parks in a whole new way. Whatever you decide, please know that there are hugs and good thoughts coming your way from the these boards.

 

[Xenorye]

Really like this idea. Maybe you could plan some magic for the CMs in the DLR Kennel in honor of your beloved pet? Thinking of all the ways you can spread the magic to celebrate your DD's birthday and your pet's life, too, will help you see, experience, and enjoy the parks in a whole new way. Whatever you decide, please know that there are hugs and good thoughts coming your way from the these boards.

There's a kennel?

 

[lk2500]

I am so sorry for your loss, I went through the same thing putting down our 14 1/2 year old Samoyed years ago. It's probably too late but perhaps you could bring a picture of your dog or have some buttons made to wear in memory of your dog and dedicate the trip to him? You could probably get some custom pins made in the park? I hope you go and have fun celebrating the long life and happy memories of your doggie!

 

[STLstone]

Sorry for your loss. I wish I had seen this yesterday to add my 2 cents. I agree with the others that think you should still go. Like the first response says, "If you don't go, what are you going to do?"

Meaning: there's almost nothing that is going to cheer you up, right now. Staying home from a Disney trip is probably not going to make you feel better, and going on the trip can't make you feel worse, right?

 

[Malcon10t]

There's a kennel?

Yes, located on the Harbor side of the esplanade.

Yes, go. Last year we lost our dad just a week before we were due to go to Disneyland. My mom insisted we go.

 

[wilkeliza]

I want to preface this by saying I absolutely love my pets including spending way way too much money on them to keep them (and thus me) happy. Now for my advice, while you are sad, I would still go. You mention that you are flying. I imagine you have already booked and paid for your hotel, any tickets, etc. Not going on this trip would be a massive expense to take. Yes you may be sad but it isn't like there is a funeral you need to plan and miss because of the services etc. I personally would go and hope that the Disney magic brought a little comfort during what is a rough time but I couldn't imagine giving up thousands of dollars that are already put into a trip over this.