Can you wear a baseball cap to a restaurant?

[Green Tea]

I think men should take hats off when they go inside. Have not read the responses but I think the older man was right----in his belief, but not in saying his thoughts outloud!

 

[luvmy3]

There was a time when a man or boy would remove their hat at a restaurant or dinner table. This is just not the case now, society doesn't seem to see that has poor manners or bad ettiquette anymore. We went out the other night and there were at least 4 men and 1 boy with their hats on.
While I see it as poor manners and I make my kids take their's off (dh does anyway) I don't have any problem with other people wearing their hats. I would never approach someone during their meal to tell them to take it off. OP I think the man was very rude to you and I'm sorry your dh was so bothered by him.

 

[alexandria674]

I went to a Military school ran by Marines. We wore uniforms and caps. It was a rule that we take our hats even in fast food resturants. Even though I am a girl and somehow the hat rule does not apply to women, I still take off my hat out of habit. My father taught my brothers to ALWAYS take off their hat inside. Although it was rude for the old man to call this to the husband's attention, he was not wrong.

 

[marcyinPA]

I'm curious--I haven't been to a sporting event in years. Do men still remove their hats for the national anthem?

Some do, some don't. I think some don't know they are supposed to. My boys have been taught to remove their hats and they even place it on their hearts. (they are 13 and 9, and we are very big on manners here!)

 

[tink_n_pooh]

While I do not think anyone should be wearing a hat at a sit down restaurant I think the older gentlemen who went out of his way to bring attention to the situation was farther out of line than OP's DH. I'm a big believer in good manners and respect for others but I'm not sure why this guy got a 'pass' from many to say this just because he is an 'older gentleman'

 

[kaytieeldr]

Generally speaking, though, elderly people tend to lose the ability to censor themselves. I wonder why that is.

Could be medical - maybe a small stroke damaged the part of the brain that controls this. Could just be that we're frustrated by apparent displays of lack of respect

 

[GeorgeG]

The general jist of what I'm getting from some of the comments on this thread, is that's it's OK to keep the hat on, because the "manners" that dictated taking a hat off are outdated.

(Hang on, before I say anything else - it was unnecessary for the older man to say something to your husband about the hat. Passing judgement on anyone is rude, I don't care what the situation is.)

I have a theory (& it's not mine exclusively) that the decline of manners in modern society has a direct link with the rise in crime. Think I'm nuts? Consider this...

Manners are something we use to show respect to our fellow humans. When we don't feel that our fellow humans are deserving of respect (by not showing manners), it's that much easier to abuse them. By not giving showing someone respect, you are saying, with your behaviour, that they are less important than you. That YOUR needs are more important than society's.

Sure, you might have really bad "hat hair," but that's about how YOU feel - 1 person vs who-knows-how-many, so how is that polite?

And to drag this on even longer - I'm female, I wear hats. When it's a ball cap, I take it off when I'm in a place where it may not be appropriate. I take it off when I'm at a football or hockey game & they play the national anthem. It's about respecting my country, not worrying if my hair looks bad. I can't even imagine wearing it in a restaurant! However, if it is a "girly" hat, I'll probably keep wearing it because the occasion demands it. (ie-a funeral)

I think you just nailed it. It all comes down to respect and behavior. People who don't get that probably missed those lessons in life growing up.

To the OP: Your husband was a Marine so now I understand why he was so upset. He knew the old guy was right.

 

[PatsMom]

IMHO the OP's DH was rude to wear a hat at the table in a restaurant. But the elderly man who publically corrected him was rude as well.

I find it surprising that a Marine Corps veteran would think it OK to wear a hat at a restaurant.

 

[NC State]

Yep, hats off at the table. In fact, as somone else said, hats off when you enter a building. These days manners and etiquette are a thing of the past.

You are so right. It's sad to see manners and etiquette are no more along with respect.

 

[kaytieeldr]

but I'm not sure why this guy got a 'pass' from many to say this just because he is an 'older gentleman'

Respectfully, nobody - unless I've missed some posts - has referred to the older person as a gentleman. That implies being well-mannered, and it's pretty much unanimous that he was not behaving politely. I don't think anyone is giving him a pass.

 

[mumom95]

Am I the only one who thinks this thread is funny.

There are many people on here who are saying men who wear hats inside a restaurant are rude, but many of these same people are going on and then insulting men who do this and saying they don't have manners and that their parents didn't raise them well.

So, from the DIS this morning I learned to teach my kids:

hats should never be worn inside a restaurant because it is rude

but it's ok to insult people because that is not rude.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Am I the only one who thinks this thread is funny.

There are many people on here who are saying men who wear hats inside a restaurant are rude, but many of these same people are going on and then insulting men who do this and saying they don't have manners and that their parents didn't raise them well.

So, from the DIS this morning I learned to teach my kids:

hats should never be worn inside a restaurant because it is rude

but it's ok to insult people because that is not rude.

Nobody said it is okay to insult anyone. They have just said that it is rude to wear a hat indoors. Would I tell you that you are rude? No, but I would think that you were extremely rude.

 

[mjkacmom]

I always tell ds10 to take off his baseball cap in a restaurant. It's really bad manners to wear one.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Am I the only one who thinks this thread is funny.

There are many people on here who are saying men who wear hats inside a restaurant are rude, but many of these same people are going on and then insulting men who do this and saying they don't have manners and that their parents didn't raise them well.

So, from the DIS this morning I learned to teach my kids:

hats should never be worn inside a restaurant because it is rude

but it's ok to insult people because that is not rude.

Could you show me the posts that are insulting? I don't think saying it is rude to wear a hat at the dinner table is an insult to those who do so.

 

[kaytieeldr]

There are many people on here who are saying men who wear hats inside a restaurant are rude, but many of these same people are going on and then insulting men who do this and saying they don't have manners and that their parents didn't raise them well.

We're having a discussion. We're not putting anyone in an awkward or uncomfortable position in a public place.
EACH man did that to the other, in Bravo's on Saturday night. Unwittingly/unintentionally? Probably.
But talking ABOUT good - and bad - manners, and attempting to educate people on various aspects of good manners, in an attempt to make this a more pleasant world? Not a problem.

 

[JR6ooo4]

I did not read all the pages, they were getting repetitive.

Did anyone mention:
That manners were taught by our elders. (who else would do it). Teaching and learning did not end at a certain age. In a community, everyone helped build the community with their support. If someone witnessed "Mabel's" oldest kid doing something wrong they would grab the child by the ear and drag him back home and let the parents know. Not walk away with an "I don't care" attitude.

that there is a very real chance the person who commented had previously risked his life defending this country.

and the husband sulking, I'm sure it has all been said. .

Mikeeee

 

[ms.yt]

Generally speaking, though, elderly people tend to lose the ability to censor themselves. I wonder why that is.

I think most of the time it's because they know they can get away with it. If the OP had said that a 30 year old man had came up out of the blue and scolded her husband, people wouldn't be so quick to applaud his actions. For the poster who said it was probably because of a stroke or something, I don't think it's reasonable to assume that every elderly person walking around has had a major medical issue. My grandmother was one of those people who would just say anything to anybody her whole life. However, when she had a stroke, she started using that as an excuse for what came out of her mouth.

 

[Bluestars]

I think the man who told the OP's husband to take off his hat was rude.

It might be bad manners to wear a hat in a restaurant, but I don't think anyone should walk up to a stranger and say something about it. How petty.

I could not care less if a person had a hat on in a restaurant.

 

[kaytieeldr]

If the OP had said that a 30 year old man had came up out of the blue and scolded her husband, people wouldn't be so quick to applaud his actions.

I'm NOT applauding, or commending, the actions of the older man. I believe he was rude, too. Once again:
The OP's husband was wrong to be wearing a hat in a restaurant.
The other man was wrong for saying anything to the husband.
The OP's husband was wrong to let a comment from a stranger upset him to the point that he could not finish eating, and to have remained upset several hours later.

disclaimer: I may or may not be quoting myself verbatim; I didn't go back and look.

 

[kaytieeldr]

For the poster who said it was probably because of a stroke or something

No, that's not what I said. Ckay85 mused - not specific to this incident but

Generally speaking, though, elderly people tend to lose the ability to censor themselves. I wonder why that is.

and I responded with a couple of equally general possibilities

Could be medical - maybe a small stroke damaged the part of the brain that controls this. Could just be that we're frustrated by apparent displays of lack of respect

.