Burial Plot? Kind of a creepy thread but hey, it's almost Halloween.

[NMAmy]

So we found out yesterday that DH has a burial plot in England. Seems his parents bought burial plots not only for themselves but also for his three brothers. Apparently, no spouses allowed. Which doesn't offend me because they bought the plots before DH and I were married but if I were my SIL, I'd be seriously annoyed. She and DH's brother have been married for close to 30 years. I told DH that SIL could have his spot because if he goes first, there is no way I'm hauling my cookies to England any time I want to talk to him or put flowers on his grave.

My grandparents also bought their plots years in advance and I always thought it was so creepy because the tombstone was all there with everything but the year of their death carved on it. My dad was cremated and travels around with my mom. I have no idea what DH and I are going to do--except that it doesn't include England. I know it's good to plan and so I was wondering...

Do you have a burial plot or have you planned your own funeral? My grandmother had it planned out right down to the food she wanted served at the house afterward. It did make it easier for the rest of us.

 

[pattyT]

I tild Dh to use his tractor and dig a hole in our yard
and construct me a nice box out of scraps in the garage...
the kids can paint a rock...
save his money...

but I don't think thats legal
so nope - no plans here -
and thanks for the laugh about your not haulin your cookies to England thing!

 

[kaylajr]

DH and I have ours picked out
we are being buried with my family in a little country cemetary....

 

[N.Bailey]

We didn't buy our plots yet, but right after my mother died (stepfather was out of the state and we had to make some arrangements without him as he trekked back) we did buy a double plot so they could both be laid together. I'm sure it was creepy when he'd go visit knowing that's where he too would be laid to rest. He liked the spot I chose though, and I think in a funny way he took some comfort in it.

Personally, I've got no hang ups about death,so I wouldn't be creeped out by it all. We've just not done it yet. Our reasons have nothing to do with it being morbid.

 

[greenyskp]

Im only 20. But ive thought about it.

I want to be cremated. And then I want someone to plant an oak tree on my property that I left, and put my ashes in the hole. In the ground. That way I provide shade for people and beauty and magesty and all that.

I also want a celebration of life. In which im going to make a movie (much like an e true hollywood story) To show at the celebration. And everyone will get a copy to take home. There will be cake, and confetti and balloons and karaoke and fun.

My death shouldnt be an overwhelming saddness. Just an opportunity for those to appreciate the time they spent with me.

Yep.

 

[N.Bailey]

Im only 20. But ive thought about it.

I want to be cremated. And then I want someone to plant an oak tree on my property that I left, and put my ashes in the hole. In the ground. That way I provide shade for people and beauty and magesty and all that.

I also want a celebration of life. In which im going to make a movie (much like an e true hollywood story) To show at the celebration. And everyone will get a copy to take home. There will be cake, and confetti and balloons and karaoke and fun.

My death shouldnt be an overwhelming saddness. Just an opportunity for those to appreciate the time they spent with me.

Yep.

You keep that attitude and you'll go far in life and I'd bet there will be many there celebrating your life!

 

[denisem]

I have a burial plot in MI and I now live in FL.

So much for planning ahead.

 

[SleepyMom]

We haven't actually planned the funeral, but we do have a book from our local funeral home that we have each written our wishes in... music and etc.

We do have our plots already, we purchased them in 1992 (at the time we were only in our mid to late 20's). There is not a headstone there though. We bought 3 plots beside each other so that we could be buried next to our son. In the next row is my Grandparents and just over from them are a bunch of plots my Aunt and Uncle pre-bought close to 30 years ago. They (my Aunt & Uncle) are still alive and their headstone has been in place for as long as I can remember, the only information missing is the date of death. That was a little hard to explain to my girls whenever we went out there.

This past March my Great-Aunt passed away. I had been in charge of her affairs for years and I knew she had pre-planned her funeral, but I cannot tell you how easy she made it for me. Everyone kept commenting to me what a lovely service and how beautiful it all was, I just told them she did it herself. All I did was go to the funeral home and give the final OK to her plans, and add some details to her obituary, she had taken care of the rest.

 

[N.Bailey]

I have a burial plot in MI and I now live in FL.

So much for planning ahead.

I grew up in eastern PA and now live in central PA. When my mother died, we were told it would cost $10,000 (in '94) to have her body transported to bury her in the eastern part of the state.

I was totally opposed to the idea. Not because of the money, but because I wanted her buried around me (it was where her home was), but my family (aunts, uncles) thought we should pay the $10,000 to have her buried where she grew up. I refused of course (step dad was still driving home from Maine and he agreed with me once he got back). To this day, my family won't talk to me. I do want to say though that my brother and my sister agreed that she should be buried here too, though they lived there. It's just the aunts and uncles.

My biological father died in Florida when I was 11. I have no idea how much my mom paid to have his body sent back to PA. Probably not as much because it was in the '70s.

Trust me, it would probably be cheaper to buy another plot than pay to transport your body once you're gone.

 

[MizBlu]

When each of our our time comes, my DH and I want to be cremated.

After the second one is gone, we're going to mix our ashes and have ourselves sent into space. We've been traveling together for over 20 years, and we're going to make that space journey together. Forever.

 

[Meezers]

My grandparents had 4 plots. Since my uncle is the only one left in that part of the country....all his sisters had to sign legal documents to allow him and his wife to be buried there. That might happen in your family.

My Mom and Dad have 4 plots....one for each of them and each of their children.

This ought to be fun...Mom wants to be cremated....Dad is buried....I want to be cremated and inurned in Arlington (remains of all previously deceased cats mixed with mine) and no idea what DB wants.

PS....I want a high tea served and lots of candles and flowers....just a nice party and friends getting together.
So...planned but not going to be easy to execute!

 

[Equidae]

My maternal grandmother was obsessed with death. When I was a kid, maybe 10 or 11, my younger sister and I went to visit her where she lived in Birmingham, AL for a summer. While we were there she took us to a cemetery and showed us where she planned to be buried and where my family was to be buried. Huh?! Freaked me out. When she passed away when I was in college, we were at the burial site and it was disturbing to know that 'my' site was right there. My mom was really upset that my grandmother would do this by the way. I don't think my mom liked being told where her resting place would be either. Weird.

 

[graygables]

My FIL just traded some labor on a job for burial plots for he and MIL. eek.

DH and I have made it clear that, after organ donation, we want to be cadavers. It's on my to-do list this week to find out from the medical school how they handle it and figure out how to incorporate it into our wills. We both feel very strongly about the body is just a "jar" for the spirit and is no longer needed when we are gone, so it is put to best use to try to help someone else, either through research or training.

I have said all along to save the money spent on a funeral/memorial and take everyone to Disney World. I have a note in the front of my will, "Your mom is dancing in heaven, what are you going to do now? I'M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!"

 

[ford family]

What about the guy who bought his mother in law a burial plot as her Christmas present.
The next year he refused to buy her anything because she hadn't used last year's gift.

ford family

 

[N.Bailey]

What about the guy who bought his mother in law a burial plot as her Christmas present.
The next year he refused to buy her anything because she hadn't used last year's gift.

ford family

 

[Megster]

I haven't thought about a burial plot since I'm only 19. I have told my parents though, that if I die before them my funeral/wake is to be fun. No one is allowed to wear black and be really quiet. My mom was kind of shocked, but I don't want people to feel uncomfortable. Music and bright colors is what I want!

 

[va32h]

My husband has his burial plans all worked out, but I would like to be cremated. That way I can be partially interred with my mom/grandparents, and partially with dh. And the kids can do what they want with a portion of me too, if they choose.

 

[Disney Doll]

We have a double burial plot purchased in the little cemetery across the street from our house. It's an adorable Revolutionary War era cemetery with a lot of history, wonderful old and newer headstones, and a beautiful setting. My in-laws are buried there, my parenst will be buried there. DH & I both grew up in this area, so we feel like no matter where we end up, we will always consider this area "home" and we want to be buried at home.

I have some instructions written out for our funeral Mass, including what songs we'd like etc., and I also have stuff written out for afterwards, when our estate is being probated. After seeing the way one of my DSILs behaved when my in-laws died, I decided, and DH agreed, that we should have things in order. So we got things in order. We also have wills.

Truthfully, it gives me a lot of peace of mind to have this stuff in order. If I go first, I am glad DH will have some sort of guide as to what to do. If we go together, then our families will know our wishes.

Death is a part of life, so planning for it doesn't bother me.

 

[denisem]

Trust me, it would probably be cheaper to buy another plot than pay to transport your body once you're gone.

Oh, I'm not planning to go back to MI from FL, dead OR alive! Anyone in the market for a burial plot in MI?

Denise < --- thinks her cremated remains would make an excellent fertilizer in some flower bed at WDW.

 

[brerrabbit]

Okay, not a wonderful topic but take it from someone who knows, you do need to plan. Step one find the place your going to be buried. I am lucky because we have a family cemetary that dates back to 1834 and I already know where I am going. Step two, have your loved one transported to where they will be buried before the funeral home gets involved. When my Father died in 2001 he died in Houston and our family cemetary is 110 miles away. When he died as I was making arrangements I called the funeral home in Bryan near the cemetary and they said whatever you do do not have a funeral home in Houston pick up my Father's body. They would arrange an ambulance to take him from Houston to Bryan. Had I called a local funeral home to pick him up and they moved him to Bryan it would have cost about $1,000 more. Ambulances can transport the body much cheaper than a funeral home so get them near the gravesite first, even if it means having the funeral away from where you currently live. Third, try as hard as you can to write down all your wishes for your funeral NOW! Your loved ones will have a hard enough time dealing with everything when the time comes and you can make it much easier if they know what you wanted up front. Lastly, when you go to arrange the funeral take someone with you who you trust, and while you need family or a good friend to support you try and take a non family member who is grieving with you but might not be as effected by the death as you are. I know this sounds strange but let me tell you it is very difficult to make funeral arrangements for a loved one and funeral homes will give you the sales pitch even in your state. You need a voice of reason so that you don't walk out with a $20,000 funeral bill. My father's cerimony was small and we already had the the plot and it still came to over $8,200. Caskets range from a low of $500 to over $25,000 and you feel like your are disrespecting your loved one if you get a cheaper one. Christian, Muslim, Hidu, Jewish, etc all believe your soul is gone and only earthly remains are there so the don't need a $25,000 casket to be comfortable. Atheist believe its all over and it also doesn't matter about a casket either. So the big lesson here is less is more.

Obviously the best alternative is a prepaid, preplanned funeral but very few people do that so when the time comes try and use your best judgement because if your like me I would rather my family use the save money on a trip to Disney World to remember me than an expensive and lavish funeral that will just waste a lot of money.