Buffet or Sit down at a wedding

[nkereina]

Around here
It is customary to provide choices. Usually beef chicken and seafood. The server gives you the options. It isn’t picked in advance.

That would work for me too! Whether we choose in advance with the RSVP or the server asks me night of, to me that is better than everyone being served identical plates.

 

[cluvsdisney]

I prefer sit down dinners. The last thing I want to do when I am dressed up for a wedding is get on a line for dinner and carry a plate of food around.

Picture this: Cocktail hour ends and 150 or so guests find their assigned seats. Bride and Groom enter and they along with the bridal party and parents are introduced by the MC. They then proceed to the buffet. When they return to their table and begin to eat, the rest of the tables are called up into line in some order, with no one proceeding until their table number has been called. By the time the final table has served themselves, many of the other guests and for sure the bridal party has already finished eating. The "program" will have started when the head table was done and the speeches and toasts and video tributes and whatnot will proceed for a while. (Everyone stays seated for this part.) After the last diners are done and the food has been put away the bar (if there is one) will open again and the bridal couple will cut the cake and then mingle amongst the tables. The dance (if there is one) will begin. It can be 10:00 pm by this point. Another buffet (locally referred to as Midnight Lunch) may be served if the party is intended to continue but for that one people can serve themselves as they please.

That sounds like a dream compared to a wedding we went to once where they held off letting anyone eat until after the super long program of speeches and dances - I never saw anything like it. Since it was proceeded by a 90 minute cocktail "hour"/receiving line situation with nearly no food (all the trays were empty by the time we saw someone), ceremony which started late, travel time, etc we were starving by the time we were able to eat which was at almost 9 pm for a ceremony that was supposed to start at 4 pm. Clearly, I hated everything about this wedding. The time line was unexpected since everything was in one location and was very inconsiderate to the guests. We were wedding planning at the time and my friend leaned over and asked that we not make everyone starve at our wedding. ha!

 

[design_mom]

When I was younger, i preferred buffet because there were usually more options than at plated weddings. (I'm not a super-picky eater, but I liked having options.) Today, I probably prefer sit-down because it's easier. However, I'm really fine with it either way as long as the food is decent.

 

[SharonZ]

Would never do a buffet, prefer sit-down.

 

[loves to dive]

Buffet. I'm old south and I don't like to eat meals in social settings like that. I can be polite and get some veggies maybe from a buffet but not eat a meal.

 

[soccerdad72]

I prefer sit down, but honestly, it doesn't matter much overall - never a big fan of wedding food anyways.

 

[goofyernmost]

Oh yes it definitely depends and I know that sit down dinners can be extremely expensive! That is why I'm hoping my dd decides to elope LOL

They are lucky that I didn't follow the example of my wife's Father. He allowed for a sit down dinner consisting of thigh and leg of chicken for each, no choice. If you didn't like chicken you didn't eat, no bar, no music, no dancing, nothing. He was pretty well off financially at the time too. He did hate me because he had plans for his daughter to take care of him and her mother in their old age, which, by the way, they had already reached. He was dead set against this wedding and only the intervention of my mother in law prevented it from not even being attended. It really upset him that I didn't care what he thought. The cake was the traditional English Canadian Wedding cake... Fruit Cake with frosting. Looked good on the outside, but, gag ya, on the inside. I cannot tell you how much I hate Fruit Cake. Since the wedding was held in the US, you can imagine how much left over cake there was.

 

[aprilgail]

Weddings tend to be sit down here (I've never been to a buffet wedding).

Cocktail hours usually have the stations; seafood station, cheese station, carving stations, etc.

Sometimes, the cocktail hour room turns in to the desert room after dinner.

those are the types I am used to- buffet seems way more casual, like birthday party type of event. I love the cocktail hours with the carving stations. The last wedding I went to was here- I loved it, they had a fajita station at the cocktail hour. http://www.lessings.com/webphotos/48_201797_94910_menu.pdf

 

[gillep]

I prefer sit down dinners. The last thing I want to do when I am dressed up for a wedding is get on a line for dinner and carry a plate of food around.



That sounds like a dream compared to a wedding we went to once where they held off letting anyone eat until after the super long program of speeches and dances - I never saw anything like it. Since it was proceeded by a 90 minute cocktail "hour"/receiving line situation with nearly no food (all the trays were empty by the time we saw someone), ceremony which started late, travel time, etc we were starving by the time we were able to eat which was at almost 9 pm for a ceremony that was supposed to start at 4 pm. Clearly, I hated everything about this wedding. The time line was unexpected since everything was in one location and was very inconsiderate to the guests. We were wedding planning at the time and my friend leaned over and asked that we not make everyone starve at our wedding. ha!

It sounds like you and I were at the same terrible wedding LOL. We had the exact same experience once, I could not believe that they were doing all of the speeches and dances before they let us all eat, and all of the food was clearly sitting there the whole time that they were going through this nonsense that none of us cared about. We were also the last table to be served, and many of the dishes had run out. DH and I left early to go to a 24 hour diner for dinner, we were starving and hangry.

 

[goofyernmost]

Buffet. I'm old south and I don't like to eat meals in social settings like that. I can be polite and get some veggies maybe from a buffet but not eat a meal.

I must live in the "new" south... never heard of such a social requirement unless perhaps you go to one of those social functions that Scarlett O'hara used to put on. Even she swore to never go hungry again.

 

[RangerPooh]

Sit down, platted. I've been to a few buffet weddings where there was not enough food for everyone. Some people load up and stack high like they're at Golden Corral instead of a wedding. Nothing like being in the wedding party, eating almost nothing all day, and finding that the buffet has been cleaned out before I even get a chance to eat.

The plus to buffets, the selection.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I think the quality really depends on where the reception is and who is doing the catering.
Buffet isn't really the norm here, but I have been to a few. One was amazing, even had a couple carving stations. It was also more expensive than the sit down option but my friend really wanted some of the choices on the buffet and they were not an option for a sit down meal.
I've been to way more sit down dinners than buffets, and some have been so bad that 3/4 of the dinner was left uneaten.

Buffet is all over the map. Can be very simple or extremely extensive. By far, the most lavish affair I’ve ever attended had a buffet with every kind of meat and side you could imagine and the biggest whole salmon I’ve ever seen on a table LOL. Most of the time, there are servers and that dramatically speeds up the process compared to people filling their own plates.

Plated meals are always pretty basic & generally pretty bland.

My cousin did kind of a hybrid. The main course and a side was served at the table, but there was a small buffet for salad, additional sides, and desserts. To be honest, I’d have really rather had a sandwich from the bar downstairs LOL

 

[Julie's Haircut]

One thing I've never been to is a punch and cake wedding. I've only ever heard that on the internet. Every wedding, or party for that matter, that I've ever been to includes a meal. Kids birthday party, family get together, baby shower, bridal shower, etc. There is always a meal. It could be pizza or a full out spread but there is always a meal.

I've been to one punch and cake reception. They did have cookies, coffee, and soft drinks too. We didn't expect to get a meal; the invitation was clear as to what the reception would be like.

When I was still a teen, we went to a cousin's second wedding. We knew it wouldn't be elaborate, but didn't expect how sparse the food would be. Just bowls of potato chips/pretzels/popcorn and several boxes of Entenmann's donuts. For drinks they had cans of store brand soda and cans of low end beer. We expected at least a deli platter and bowls of potato salad/cole slaw. Plus the reception was held in a non-air-conditioned union hall at the factory where the bride's mother worked on one of the hottest days of the summer.

 

[cluvsdisney]

It sounds like you and I were at the same terrible wedding LOL. We had the exact same experience once, I could not believe that they were doing all of the speeches and dances before they let us all eat, and all of the food was clearly sitting there the whole time that they were going through this nonsense that none of us cared about. We were also the last table to be served, and many of the dishes had run out. DH and I left early to go to a 24 hour diner for dinner, we were starving and hangry.

I think we were and you have my sympathies! The best man speech started with a 5 minute recount of playing phone tag before getting to the point. All the while, we could see the buffet that was set up in a heated tent right outside the window. It got cold being out there all that time. I am pretty sure we left before cake so we could get some actual food. There was such potential because it was a unique venue but man, way to ruin a wedding...too crowded to move, long ego feeding program, the delayed dinner (not even rolls on the table), even the drinks were in another room. We would have had to cross the floor show to get a drink so we made do with the water that was there when we sat down. I really never saw anything like this and I hope I never do again.

 

[PlainJane]

We had a buffet for a small wedding. It was honestly the best food I’ve ever eaten at a wedding. People also weren’t forced to pick one entree months in advance. I think we had three entrees available plus sides.

I know it would be frowned upon at a super formal wedding, but it worked well for the number of guests we had (at large weddings it can be frustrating waiting for your table to get called and then wondering if there will be anything left or if you’re going to be stuck waiting another hour for a dinner of cake).

 

[firefly_ris]

Doesn't matter to me, as long as the food is good.

 

[mamamary]

Various stations for cocktail hour and then a sit down dinner. I think I've been to two weddings that were buffet. One was my sister. It was a small wedding sorta done last minute. Maybe 75 people so the buffet line wasn't bad. Nephew had a company come into his reception that set up a pasta area where you pick the pasta, sauce and toppings and they heat it up and put it all together for you. While it was very tasty you can imagine how loooooong it took. It was a pretty big wedding and that was it for the food.

 

[aprilgail]

I've been to one punch and cake reception. They did have cookies, coffee, and soft drinks too. We didn't expect to get a meal; the invitation was clear as to what the reception would be like.

When I was still a teen, we went to a cousin's second wedding. We knew it wouldn't be elaborate, but didn't expect how sparse the food would be. Just bowls of potato chips/pretzels/popcorn and several boxes of Entenmann's donuts. For drinks they had cans of store brand soda and cans of low end beer. We expected at least a deli platter and bowls of potato salad/cole slaw. Plus the reception was held in a non-air-conditioned union hall at the factory where the bride's mother worked on one of the hottest days of the summer.

We drove from NY to a cousins wedding in Virginia, NEVER had experienced a wedding like this before- we got there and were already hungry so after the wedding everyone went down into the basement of the church- it was 90 degrees outside and hotter in the church basement- they had this nasty looking punch stuff in a bunch bowl with these glasses hanging off the bunch bowl- hello 1970 LOL- then then 1/4 triangle of some white bread with like a cucumber in the middle and cake- we left early to go get some food!! The whole family still refers to this wedding as "you remember the wedding we went to in the hell hole?"

 

[Christine]

I prefer buffet but, of course, it needs to be well done. I've never had very good "plated" food at a wedding. It's just so-so. One of my cousin's had a buffet and it was really good. They had stations so there wasn't a long line for anything and the food was the best of anything I've had that was served to me. I also think it allows for more mingling. Anytime I've had dinner served to me, I've felt more confined to my chair for some reason.

 

[runwad]

Buffets and the kind where you pick up the spoon and get your own serving! That was one of the reasons we picked the hall we did, I wanted our guests to have as much or as little as they liked without having to feel embarrassment in telling the server they wanted a bigger scoop of something.