Buffet or Sit down at a wedding

[ronandannette]

They are lucky that I didn't follow the example of my wife's Father. He allowed for a sit down dinner consisting of thigh and leg of chicken for each, no choice. If you didn't like chicken you didn't eat, no bar, no music, no dancing, nothing. He was pretty well off financially at the time too. He did hate me because he had plans for his daughter to take care of him and her mother in their old age, which, by the way, they had already reached. He was dead set against this wedding and only the intervention of my mother in law prevented it from not even being attended. It really upset him that I didn't care what he thought. The cake was the traditional English Canadian Wedding cake... Fruit Cake with frosting. Looked good on the outside, but, gag ya, on the inside. I cannot tell you how much I hate Fruit Cake. Since the wedding was held in the US, you can imagine how much left over cake there was.

Just curious why you and your bride didn't go ahead and plan (and put on for yourselves) whatever kind of wedding you wanted?

 

[ZephyrHawk]

I prefer plated, but have been to some perfectly fine buffet weddings.

The only real question is whether it is an open or cash bar. That latter is not acceptable.

 

[Skellingtonj]

No buffets. We went to one wedding with a buffet and my mom was appalled. For what they paid, a sit down meal would have been more appropriate. We had a sit down meal at our wedding, 11 years ago

 

[neverlandsky]

Cocktail hour stations. Sit down for dinner. Buffet for just desserts. Always open bar.

 

[goofyernmost]

Just curious why you and your bride didn't go ahead and plan (and put on for yourselves) whatever kind of wedding you wanted?

She had just left her job to get her degree in nursing and I was in the final stages of my four year Air Force career and we were broke. Besides as much as he hated me, if he hadn't been able to do the wedding thing for his only daughter he would have been considered a failure so he just did the minimum and we decided in order to have the wedding with invited guests we would just go along. Turns out the reception part was the least important part of our marriage. We eventually went our separate ways, but, not until 29 years, two children and a whole lot of living, good and bad, had marched in front of us.

 

[luvsJack]

DD's wedding will be a buffet. The restaraunt that is catering will send servers and carvers. They will help to serve at the buffet so that portions are controlled until everyone is served and then they can eat to their heart's content.

Very few sit down meals at weddings here. Don't really know why. But very few caterers even offer the option and they have all said its because there was so little call for it and it causes them to need more servers.

And 99.9% of open bars here are beer and wine only.

 

[LSUmiss]

DD's wedding will be a buffet. The restaraunt that is catering will send servers and carvers. They will help to serve at the buffet so that portions are controlled until everyone is served and then they can eat to their heart's content.

Very few sit down meals at weddings here. Don't really know why. But very few caterers even offer the option and they have all said its because there was so little call for it and it causes them to need more servers.

And 99.9% of open bars here are beer and wine only.

That’s interesting. Beer & wine bars here are considered tacky.

 

[disykat]

I am so glad that cake and punch weddings at a church were still acceptable when I got married! They had been the norm in my area when I was growing up. (My mom was an organist so I saw lots of weddings!) Personally I miss those weddings. You went to the wedding, you socialized a little bit and congratulated the bride and groom, then you went home. There was never a "pay for your plate" expectation, nor was there the expectation that the bride/groom and their families spend a wad of money on the wedding. It was all about he wedding not the reception. Sometimes there was a family and close friends party later that went well into the night at someone's home after with more food, but the weddings were pretty simple. I miss the 60's and 70's! Even in the 80's here things stayed pretty simple. I really had never attended a sit down meal (or even a full buffet) at a wedding until well into the 90's.

I remember going out to eat with friends before or after weddings and not thinking a thing about it. Meals just weren't part of weddings in my area.

 

[AustinTink]

We had a plated dinner at our reception. I think it depends on how formal the reception is. We went to one last summer that was in a rustic venue in the country and they did a bbq buffet. It was appropriate for the setting. The venue was beautiful, by the way. Not knocking rustic by any means.

 

[ols386]

Personally, I prefer buffet, as it has more of a casual feel. A sit down meal, where they serve food at individual tables, has a more formal feel.

 

[Disneyland1084]

I had a sit down dinner at my wedding 16 years ago. It was actually cheaper than the buffet would have been.

 

[aprilgail]

That’s interesting. Beer & wine bars here are considered tacky.

I've not been to one that was just beer and wine (other than the hell hole reception in Virginia) but I guess it's better having just beer and wine than having a cash bar.

 

[LSUmiss]

I've not been to one that was just beer and wine (other than the hell hole reception in Virginia) but I guess it's better having just beer and wine than having a cash bar.

Oh yeah I’ve never been to a cash bar wedding! In NOLA ppl would die!

 

[ronandannette]

No buffets. We went to one wedding with a buffet and my mom was appalled. For what they paid, a sit down meal would have been more appropriate. We had a sit down meal at our wedding, 11 years ago

How would you know what they paid? Seems odd to me the hosts would discuss that with the guests.

That’s interesting. Beer & wine bars here are considered tacky.

Why?

 

[tcufrog]

We had 80 guests at our wedding and rather complicated family dynamics. My mil is a rather difficult Indian woman who is religiously vegetarian. We had assigned tables to contain her and a buffet to meet all of the varied dietary needs. The food was a delicious selection of American and Indian food. We got tons of compliments on it months later. As for alcohol, we had a beer and wine bar. We couldn't afford a full bar and didn't want to have drink tickets or a cash bar. Since the location and caterer allowed us to provide the alcohol we bought it on sale at World Market and at Costco. It was of a much higher quality than normally served at wedding receptions but cost much less than if the caterer had provided the alcohol. The guests ended up drinking more than the estimate given to us by the caterer because of that so they ended having to do an alcohol run when we ran out.

 

[LSUmiss]

How would you know what they paid? Seems odd to me the hosts would discuss that with the guests.

Why?

I guess b/c ppl know it’s cheap? It’s not common at venues here at all. You would really have to seek it out. I really don’t know, but I know it’s one of those things. I’ve only been to one in my life out of the countless weddings over the years & ppl definitely talked!

 

[RedAngie]

How would you know what they paid? Seems odd to me the hosts would discuss that with the guests.

Some people will discuss money matters with anyone who's willing to listen.

 

[ronandannette]

I guess b/c ppl know it’s cheap? It’s not common at venues here at all. You would really have to seek it out. I really don’t know, but I know it’s one of those things. I’ve only been to one in my life out of the countless weddings over the years & ppl definitely talked!

Exactly how much does a host need to spend in order to satisfy "ppl" in Louisiana?

 

[ronandannette]

Some people will discuss money matters with anyone who's willing to listen.

But not us, right Red? (The price of your fancy cheese and my generic noodles notwithstanding.)

 

[LSUmiss]

Exactly how much does a host need to spend in order to satisfy "ppl" in Louisiana?

I don’t know if it’s all of Louisiana. I’m talking about New Orleans area mostly. Maybe it’s b/c drinking is such a part of the culture here (for better or worse). There are tons of venues here that aren’t just for weddings but parties too (as we do that a lot too). At our wedding it was $75/head for food & drink, but that was 12 years ago so I don’t know the cost now. But most basic packages included at least bar brand liquor & wine & beer. You would have to go out of your way to find a venue that did beer & wine only. It’s just not a thing here. I have literally only been to one in my entire life that was beer & wine only & they used a venue that was not really a wedding venue per se & hired an outside caterer.