Bucket List for Mom w/Stage 4 Cancer-UPDATE #267

[MommaSnowwhite]

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom - we have had a lot of breast cancer in my family. I know the power of prayer - it works! I will pray for your family.

This may be a long shot - my parents went to Alaska a few years ago and they took a ferry from Seatle (area) to Alaska. I think they saw whales - I will try to find today from my Mom.

Best of luck! My prayers are with your family!

 

[Hannathy]

My sympathies to you and your family. My mother-in-law had stage 4 breast cancer and it was a sad time for the family. Not to scare you (and every case is different) but my mother-in-law only lived 4 months after she was diagnosed.

My concern is that summer is a ways off and a lot can happen in those months. Is it absolutely imperative that your brother and your husband go on the trip with the rest of the family? Delaying too long could mean your mother will not be able to go on her trip. I don't want you to regret waiting.

I googled "whale watching" and March and it looks like San Diego might be an option in early March but you would have to check on the migration patterns this year.
http://sandiego.about.com/cs/familyfun/a/whale_watch.htm

When you go on your trip, talk to the doctor in advance about anti-nausea medications for your mother. I went whale watching when I was pregnant and I was miserably sea sick.

I can't echo this enough. Please do not hesitate. When they (Dr's) say what they have said to your Mom they mean it. Summer is an eternity away for someone with advanced cancer, esp. with the liver. Are they talking Hospice yet? A friend of mine died 21 days after she was told something similar last Fall. It was very sad because she came home thinking there would be time for things and even tho we tried to push the family to get moving by the time the grasped the urgency it was to late for her to travel.

I really don't advocate living beyond your means or putting things on credit you can't afford but this may be the TIME to uses a credit card or help your sibling get it done now.

Whatever you decide I wish you peace with the decision and the best quality time-and hopefully longest- time possible with your Mom.

 

[kritter]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time!!

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

My thoughts are with your Mom and your family right now.

If you're willing to fly up to Seattle you could take a ferry out to Orca Island and go on a tour from there to see the Orcas. I always wanted to do that when we lived up there, but never made it out there.

 

[wdwfan16]

I would do the Alaskan cruise. I really doubt you will be able to do it for $500/person. We are booked for one next year and even the cheapest rooms would cost us over $500/person just for the cruise.

Also you will all need passports if you leave out of Canada. That is where we are leaving from. That is an added expense.

Sorry about your mother.

 

[lastminutemom]

First, I am so sorry about your mom.

I would consider California because you can do that much sooner than an Alaskan cruise. I understand your brothers work situation, but can you propose a Girls Trip to your Mom and then she can do something else with your brother this summer.

The excursions on Alaskan cruises are very expensive even if you book independently. (Alaska tour operators have a very short window to make their income for the year.)

Blessings and good luck.

 

[Dizfan4life]

We will be lifting your family up in our prayers! With God all things are possible... maybe a local travel agency would be able to offer something, unless you already went to one. Whatever trip lands in your lap it will be wonderful and full of memories!! I also HATE cancer.... my aunt had breast, my cousin who was near and dear to me died at the age of 24 (four months after her wedding too) and my mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 ovarian cancer 11 years ago and to this day she is a walking miracle. We always meditated on the verse from Phil 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength!" Take care and enjoy the gifts God continues to hand out to you !

 

[Ka' eo]

Thoughts for your dear mom and your whole family.

I agree that you need to go soon. Don't wait until summer. This is not something you can change down the road.

We went this time of year to Hawaii and the whale watching is amazing. I would venture that CA is cheaper than Alaska or Hawaii. If you have exact dates perhaps some of us could do some searches for you.

 

[Princess Erin]

You are in my prayers,

 

[christa112]

I know this is not California or Alaska, but what about Cape Cod in Massachusetts. There are plenty of places where you could rent a house for your entire family which you guys could split the cost. If you go up to Provincetown at the tip there are plenty of whale watches and there is also Nantucket which you could visit as well.

Very sorry to hear about your mom.

 

[weHEARTmickey]

Okay, you all have my wheels turning & I have some thoughts...my bro-in-law was going to try to fly my sis & their 4 month old baby out to San Diego the 1st week in March. He is a marine who will be leaving for Afghanistan late March. (I know, we sound like a made-for-TV movie, right??)

Anyway, she'll probably already be out there. My kids have spring break March 8-12th. So does my baby brother, who is a senior in college!!!! My DH & other brother weren't going to start nursery season until around March 15th. We could ALL drive over there, then let my DH & brother fly back on the free Southwest tickets. It will probably be a huge problem w/ the $$$ since this is SO spur of the moment! We were thinking summer would be great b/c it would be after nursery season & give everyone several months to save up.

Sooooo, is there a good spot to see whales in San Diego, around March 8-12th?? Or is there a spot close to San Diego? I see the urgency in this trip. I'm just praying that if it is meant for us to do this, God will open the doors. Thanks for any input, but especially thanks for the prayers!

 

[tina95]

God bless your family. I would do the Alaska cruise, I just checked into those for my parents anniversary in a year. Make sure when checking out options you tell the places about your situation and if there are any perks or programs out there to help.

Is there a place where we could make a little donation to your cause? My thinking is a little from a lot go a long way.

Is there a place set up for donations?

 

[buckler]

Check into this
Birch Aquarium Whale Watching also this link San Diego Harbor Excursions / Birch Aquarium Tour

They are affiliated with the Scripps Institute of Oceanography which is a well respected research facility. I'd think they would "do it right" and it's affordable. There is a $5 off coupon at the link above.

Talk to your mother's doctors about anti-nausea/motion sickness medications for the boat ride. You don't want her getting sea sick. Trust me...I went whale watching when pregnant and it was not fun!

You might not see a whale on a tour so you might want to have a backup plan to go out a 2nd time if necessary ("Whale sightings guaranteed or ride again free!") http://www.sdhe.com/san-diego-whale-watching.html

 

[weHEARTmickey]

God bless your family. I would do the Alaska cruise, I just checked into those for my parents anniversary in a year. Make sure when checking out options you tell the places about your situation and if there are any perks or programs out there to help.

Is there a place where we could make a little donation to your cause? My thinking is a little from a lot go a long way.

Is there a place set up for donations?

Thank you for the offer, frostymom & tina95. That is so sweet! Mom has been selling "FAITH" t-shirts to help pay for her medical bills. I guess they could help pay for her dream trip, too She has a benefit fund set up at our local bank, but I wasn't even thinking about financial help when I posted all this info on the disboards. I just think you're sweet to offer. We really appreciate the prayers & "whale advice"

 

[weHEARTmickey]

Check into this
Birch Aquarium Whale Watching also this link San Diego Harbor Excursions / Birch Aquarium Tour

They are affiliated with the Scripps Institute of Oceanography which is a well respected research facility. I'd think they would "do it right" and it's affordable. There is a $5 off coupon at the link above.

Talk to your mother's doctors about anti-nausea/motion sickness medications for the boat ride. You don't want her getting sea sick. Trust me...I went whale watching when pregnant and it was not fun!

You might not see a whale on a tour so you might want to have a backup plan to go out a 2nd time if necessary ("Whale sightings guaranteed or ride again free!") http://www.sdhe.com/san-diego-whale-watching.html

Thank you, buckler! Did it look to you like gray whales are the only ones around SD? My brother mentioned how much more of a variety we would see in the summer. Don't know that my brothers will be on board with the speedy departure.

 

[eyor44]

sounds like you have an amazing mom. I pray the trip works out for you all.

 

[buckler]

Thank you, buckler! Did it look to you like gray whales are the only ones around SD? My brother mentioned how much more of a variety we would see in the summer. Don't know that my brothers will be on board with the speedy departure.

I'm no expert on this...I'm just handy with a search engine but it looks like it's gray whales and dolphins only.

If you can't get your brothers on board, leave them at home and do a girls only trip. Don't wait. If your mother can't make a trip in the summer you might resent your brothers for keeping her from fulfilling her bucket list item.

 

[weHEARTmickey]

sounds like you have an amazing mom. I pray the trip works out for you all.

She's UNBELIEVABLE!!!! Like I said before, her motto is Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." And she doesn't worry! She always says, "I know where I'm going when I die, my prayer is that you'll be in Heaven with me." She's pretty inspiring

 

[weHEARTmickey]

I'm no expert on this...I'm just handy with a search engine but it looks like it's gray whales and dolphins only.

If you can't get your brothers on board, leave them at home and do a girls only trip. Don't wait. If your mother can't make a trip in the summer you might resent your brothers for keeping her from fulfilling her bucket list item.

I'll keep that in mind! I sent my 2 bros & sis a link to this very thread---so they could read how urgent this is. It's so hard for us to believe how bad off she really is, b/c she always feels SO good. Her dr has even told us that it is b/c of the prayers.

buckler, I just sent you a PM. Thanks

 

[buckler]

I'll keep that in mind! I sent my 2 bros & sis a link to this very thread---so they could read how urgent this is. It's so hard for us to believe how bad off she really is, b/c she always feels SO good. Her dr has even told us that it is b/c of the prayers.

Can I ask you a personal question? You said your MIL had stage 4 breast cancer, right? Where all had it spread? My PM box is full, but I'll empty it as soon as I post, if you'd rather PM me. Sorry to be personal on here. Thank you.

I'm sorry, I don't recall all the specifics of where her cancer metastasized to. It's been more than 5 years ago and we've had other family illnesses in the mean time. She only made it through one round of chemo before they stopped it. I think she gave up fighting. She never was a good patient. It sounds like your mother is a fighter, so that is on her side.

If your siblings can't make it, bring a video camera and let them experience it after the fact. But do not delay. Fighter or not, your mother is very sick.