Broken Promise

[Goofyluver]

Yes Im almost 25 years old. Neither my Fiance' or his buddy have a job. His buddie's Girlfriend has a job and does everytjing around the house and he sits on his butt palying his 360 and watching netflix. Its the same with me I support myself by living on my own and paying my own bills. The diffrence between my Fiance' and his friend my Fiance' puts fourth an effort on looking for a job getting on the computer to fill out applications. My Fiance' is also trying to get into the military he just has to lose a cetain amount of weight before he can get in. My Fiance' is doing the best he can to make sure that he either has a job or is in the military before he and I ever get married.

Honey, you don't have to justify or tell everyone about your life with your fiance'. Every time you do, you give all of the folks on this board the opportunity to come back at you with more judgments on you and your relationship, kwim?

Do yourself a favor, sweetheart. Know you're entitled to your feelings and that you don't have to explain your relationship or your feelings to anyone here, and back outta the thread.

 

[rchristiansen]

I agree Its not about the movie, the money or which anniversary it is or even if it was just a promise to see the movie for no special reason at all. He made a promise and then broke it because he put something else first.

I would talk to him about it and let him know that it hurt your feelings.

This.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

Yes for the most part fishing is free. But if you catcch the fish and want to cook it you have to buy all stuff you need to cook it. So can be edible

I'm a little confused...do you mean like a pan in order to fry it in, or butter/spices/etc. to fry it with to make it tasty? In either case, he would still need to eat, and putting food on his plate (a necessity of life) should always trump going to a movie.

Sorry you were hurt, though. Nobody likes to be disappointed

 

[npmommie]

If you are so rigid about this promise stuff what will you do when a really big one is missed?

I am wondering this as well.

Ok, I must chime in. If your df doesn't have a job then you, as a supportive and understanding future wife, shouldn't have let him make a "promise" to spend money on anything frivolous. On the other side your df shouldn't be out spending money fishing when he should be busting down doors at every place in town - not sitting at home filling out online applications.


I think you have many things, both finacially and emotionally, to work out before getting married and joining your lives together.

agree.
and a big deal is being made of the fact that he had no money for a movie, but OP did not have the cash either.

Yes for the most part fishing is free. But if you catcch the fish and want to cook it you have to buy all stuff you need to cook it. So can be edible

what stuff do you need to cook a fish, a fry pan and a little oil

 

[grumpy101]

I was at work by the time he had called me I couldn't have told him no anyway he was already out fishing with his buddy who also is without a job an his DGF does all the supporting.

 

[lovemygoofy]

Yes Im almost 25 years old. Neither my Fiance' or his buddy have a job. His buddie's Girlfriend has a job and does everytjing around the house and he sits on his butt palying his 360 and watching netflix. Its the same with me I support myself by living on my own and paying my own bills. The diffrence between my Fiance' and his friend my Fiance' puts fourth an effort on looking for a job getting on the computer to fill out applications. My Fiance' is also trying to get into the military he just has to lose a cetain amount of weight before he can get in. My Fiance' is doing the best he can to make sure that he either has a job or is in the military before he and I ever get married.

OP, do yourself a big favor and just stop stop stop. You really need to stop explaining yourself because it's not helping the cause.

Obviously you were disappointed that your finacee' did not keep his promise as frivolous as some think it is. However the constant explanations isn't helping anything. Honestly it just makes things sound worse.

I'm sorry the promise was broken. I do hope you both can get yourselves straightened out before your wedding. I certainly would not be marrying a man with no job. I did marry a man in the military and still is and it is not the life for everyone. Please think long and hard about if you are both prepared for the crazy lifestyle that the military can bring. Marriage can be very hard without the other stresses the lifestyle throws at it.

I do still remember the fuzzy blue birds singing, everything is gorgeous and sweet first waves of new love. Enjoy it just be realistic about what you can expect right now.

 

[luvsJack]

I am wondering this as well.



agree.
and a big deal is being made of the fact that he had no money for a movie, but OP did not have the cash either.



what stuff do you need to cook a fish, a fry pan and a little oil

They may have been having a big fish fry. Dh has a big burner and pot that he frys turkeys in. For a fish fry, we would need the huge amount of peanut oil for the pot, propane for the cooker, Fish-Fry or cornmeal or other breading. And if someone didn't have the cooker and pot they would be buying those things too. Could be more expensive than you think.

 

[grumpy101]

Ok now Im done defending myself on here. So can you all PLEASE just back off. It is over and done with he apologized for doing what he did

 

[npmommie]

OP, do yourself a big favor and just stop stop stop. You really need to stop explaining yourself because it's not helping the cause.

Obviously you were disappointed that your finacee' did not keep his promise as frivolous as some think it is. However the constant explanations isn't helping anything. Honestly it just makes things sound worse.

I'm sorry the promise was broken. I do hope you both can get yourselves straightened out before your wedding. I certainly would not be marrying a man with no job. I did marry a man in the military and still is and it is not the life for everyone. Please think long and hard about if you are both prepared for the crazy lifestyle that the military can bring. Marriage can be very hard without the other stresses the lifestyle throws at it.

I do still remember the fuzzy blue birds singing, everything is gorgeous and sweet first waves of new love. Enjoy it just be realistic about what you can expect right now.

OP I agree, sorry the promise was broken.
My dh was also in the military when we first met and married. Coast Guard, so he was underway for 2 days at a time, then home.
so as a newlywed, I saw him for 2 days then he was away for 2............
It was tough at first. especially being so young as we were.
I was younger than you when we married.
he is retired now, and we are still married,
but I can tell you lots of times back then when we had plans and the phone would ring.........and off he had to go.

good luck to you both

 

[superdiz]

I agree with previous posters, stop explaining. The odds are also not in your favor if he's already 25 and still hasn't found any type of job yet. A close friend of mine dated that same type starting in high school. They were together for 12 years. They just broke up because she is still paying for him and he still has no job and she finally realized her biological clock was ticking and he wasn't about to propose - though he always said he was planning on it and just couldn't afford the ring she deserved. She's 32 and starting over while the rest of her friends are married and starting families. Maybe that won't be the case with you - but I've yet to find one of those types who turned it around and became a success. Good luck.

 

[Swan4Me]

Yes for the most part fishing is free. But if you catcch the fish and want to cook it you have to buy all stuff you need to cook it. So can be edible

Just an FYI-from someone who fishes regularly.
Filet the fish
season with Season-All or other seasoning you have
Toss lightly with Fish Fry ($2)

Melt a little olive oil and a TLBS of butter in a large non-stick frying pan
Saute 10-15 on one side=turn and repeat

Very inexpensive


My DH hated movies-we never went to them and there is no way he'd go to an animated one at all. It could simply be he really didnt want to go and regretted his promise. These are the things you learn in a relationship-also I never fished before I met my DH-its a regular thing with us-he loved it and I learned to enjoy it also.

 

[Jennasis]

Am I reading the OP's sig correctly...are they planning a Disney Fairytale Wedding???

 

[superdiz]

Am I reading the OP's sig correctly...are they planning a Disney Fairytale Wedding???

Unless Mom and Dad are footing the bill, I don't think so. Unless they haven't yet looked into pricing! (If you think movies are expensive...)

 

[cm8]

Honey, you don't have to justify or tell everyone about your life with your fiance'. Every time you do, you give all of the folks on this board the opportunity to come back at you with more judgments on you and your relationship, kwim?

Do yourself a favor, sweetheart. Know you're entitled to your feelings and that you don't have to explain your relationship or your feelings to anyone here, and back outta the thread.

BEST ADVICE EVER!!!

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

This thread has really shown me that there are some incredibly nasty, snobby people on this board who just seem to crawl out of the woodwork when the piling on starts.

I didn't realize the Dis had so many perfect people with perfect relationships to go with them.

 

[ols386]

Honey, you don't have to justify or tell everyone about your life with your fiance'. Every time you do, you give all of the folks on this board the opportunity to come back at you with more judgments on you and your relationship, kwim?

Do yourself a favor, sweetheart. Know you're entitled to your feelings and that you don't have to explain your relationship or your feelings to anyone here, and back outta the thread.

Op, please note this is the best post on this thread.

Am I reading the OP's sig correctly...are they planning a Disney Fairytale Wedding???

What's your point?

 

[dimimi]

I assume the OP won't be posting, but perhaps reading.

Your fiance (no matter howmuch you are in love) lives at his mom's because she has cancer...which is admirable...but he really is living there because he doesn't have a job.

I agree love is powerful and you are young, however, I would not get married unless the 2 of you could support yourself. That means having enough money to go to a movie if you wanted to...and have enough money to cook fish.

I am not trying to be mean, but realistic. Marriage is hard enough without worrying about money. And...many times in a marriage you worry about money anyway. I would suggest trying to save some money so you start out having a little bit of cash. I guess if he moved in with you, you could share expenses, but that would only be if he had a job.

Enjoy your time together and find free things to do for fun. This may not go over well, but could you move back home for 6 months or so to save money? Could you find a roommate to share expenses?
Good luck to you...and enjoy your engagement.

 

[LuvsDragonflies]

I assume the OP won't be posting, but perhaps reading.

Your fiance (no matter howmuch you are in love) lives at his mom's because she has cancer...which is admirable...but he really is living there because he doesn't have a job.

I agree love is powerful and you are young, however, I would not get married unless the 2 of you could support yourself. That means having enough money to go to a movie if you wanted to...and have enough money to cook fish.

I am not trying to be mean, but realistic. Marriage is hard enough without worrying about money. And...many times in a marriage you worry about money anyway. I would suggest trying to save some money so you start out having a little bit of cash. I guess if he moved in with you, you could share expenses, but that would only be if he had a job.

Enjoy your time together and find free things to do for fun. This may not go over well, but could you move back home for 6 months or so to save money? Could you find a roommate to share expenses?
Good luck to you...and enjoy your engagement.

Good advice. Best of luck to you kiddo. Also good advice, "Don't let the *******s get ya down." I think it's from an old WWII movie.

 

[Jennasis]

Op, please note this is the best post on this thread.






What's your point?

You know what my point is.

 

[kayrosek]

I'm not one to talk there...Met DH in November 2003 and got engaged in Jan 2004 and married July 2004. We've been crazy happy ever since!!

But even with our extremely short dating history we never celebrated "month anniversaries". That's reserved for kids in middle school.

Your short dating history seems long to me. DH and I went on exactly three dates before we got engaged. We've been married 9 years and still going strong. Somtimes when somethings right it's just right.