Bringing daughters boyfriend?

[Sgt Mickey]

I am on the opposite side of the fence. I wouldn't care. I understand the bf is annoying but what if he is the onewill you never go on vaccation with him?
I see the point of family vaccation and wanting to do everything with dd but even if he didn't go she may want to go off on her own.
I would set up rules you have to spend this time with us and then I will let you spend this time doing your own thing. I don't think you should be pressured into saying yes becasue it is your vaccation and why have someone annoying on it BUT I do think you can say yes without them running all over you.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

I am on the opposite side of the fence. I wouldn't care. I understand the bf is annoying but what if he is the onewill you never go on vaccation with him?
I see the point of family vaccation and wanting to do everything with dd but even if he didn't go she may want to go off on her own.
I would set up rules you have to spend this time with us and then I will let you spend this time doing your own thing. I don't think you should be pressured into saying yes becasue it is your vaccation and why have someone annoying on it BUT I do think you can say yes without them running all over you.

The "one?" The OP's daughter is 16, that shouldn't even be in this family's realm of thinking. Please see my post #36 of this thread

 

[krcit]

My dd15 getting ready to be 16( she has her drivers permit). the bf 17. I have ds13.(whose b-day is in feb) so maybe thats where the ages got confusing.

We have decided to stick with the NO answer. She will be going with us, I'm sure she will be a little disappointed but she will get over it. She told me that she didn't want us to go without her and that she didn't want to be sellfish by changing the date so it wouldn't be a issue. He has understood and they have just agreed not talk about the trip around each other to make either one feel bad! of coarse she maybe holding out hope that we change our minds!

I'm glad it worked out.

I have 3 kids and I can tell you right now that no boyfriends or girlfriends will be joining us on a family trip when they are teens. I think that a family trip is a family trip. A teenage couple can deal with being apart for a week or so.

 

[disneyandme]

We have 4 kids and there will be no boyfriends or girlfriends going on any of our future trips. I make this decision out of personal experience. When I was 17 my family went to Disney and we took my 19 year old boyfriend. We stayed with my family "most" of the time, but they let us have a little bit of freedom each day. You wouldn't believe how quick the monorail ride back to the Poly is from MK or Epcot and how quickly it takes you right back

This was my thought exactly- who knows what they would do when left alone.

 

[formill]

I am on the opposite side of the fence. I wouldn't care. I understand the bf is annoying but what if he is the onewill you never go on vaccation with him?
I see the point of family vaccation and wanting to do everything with dd but even if he didn't go she may want to go off on her own.
I would set up rules you have to spend this time with us and then I will let you spend this time doing your own thing. I don't think you should be pressured into saying yes becasue it is your vaccation and why have someone annoying on it BUT I do think you can say yes without them running all over you.

Another one "on the opposite side of the fence". I was 18 when my parents did not invite my boyfriend to come with them/us to Florida.... I opted to just stay home instead.( and yes that seems silly now to pass up a trip to Florida...) Oh and I married him. 4 kids.......21 married years later...still together. Sometimes we forget how important EVERYTHING is when you are a teen. As for what they will do when alone....I would assume it is the same as what they are doing when alone now.......!!!

 

[PEANUT1]

15 almost 16 is really young..I think you made the right decision. Some people are reporting about their own experiences from when they were 18-20..you really can't compare 16 to 18..it is a HUGE difference.

 

[cheerforchelsea]

Be glad that you decided NO....my DD took a boyfriend 3 different times over the years (3 different boys) and now is married (to someone else) but I have these ex boyfriends all in my scrapbooks

 

[JUJU814]

Be glad that you decided NO....my DD took a boyfriend 3 different times over the years (3 different boys) and now is married (to someone else) but I have these ex boyfriends all in my scrapbooks

 

[klacey1]

Be glad that you decided NO....my DD took a boyfriend 3 different times over the years (3 different boys) and now is married (to someone else) but I have these ex boyfriends all in my scrapbooks

This literally made me laugh out loud!

OP, I think you made the right decision. Our family vacations were usually just us or us and extended family (I took a friend to Cape Cod, only because I was 18 and everyone else on the trip was either middle-aged or under the age of 10). However, DBF and I just took our own Disney trip alone together and had a terrific time. You can tell your DD she can go alone with her BF if they're still together much later on!

 

[crisi]

Be glad that you decided NO....my DD took a boyfriend 3 different times over the years (3 different boys) and now is married (to someone else) but I have these ex boyfriends all in my scrapbooks

I think the same thing about all those holiday photos with my ex husband in them. And he WAS family.

There is nothing quite like the regret of giving up time with your family for some guy in your past (but it was 'twu luv') once you start to realize how precious those family holidays and vacations were.

If her relationship works out, she will have the rest of her life with him. She's only going to have a very few years left as "your little girl."

 

[MarriedToAPrince]

I say absolutely not. When did it become acceptable for a 17 year old to bring a BF/GF on a family vacation? I am sorry but I think the answer should be no. It is a family vacation. She will get over and so won't he. I remember when I was 17 I wanted to stay home from a family vacation while my parents went. They said no. I was pissed, but you know what I got over it and had a great vacation and I was glad I went. She will get over it. If neither you or your DH want him there, then the answer is simple....no.

 

[Evi]

Hrm I would say no... But wait let me tell you why. The fact that hes 17 and hes a boy and he has hormones ok now on the the rest lol. The fact that hes guilt tripping you and so is she. The fact that hes telling you what he likes to do and doesn't like to do while at disney. This is your family vacation and your daughter is getting older she soon won't be wanting to go with family on vacation you deserve to enjoy it as a family not spend it catering to someone who may very well not be a part of her life in a few months or years. Not being mean just honest you shouldn't be footing the bill for a teenager whose giving you a hard time and could potentially take away from you enjoying yourself.

If daughter says she doesn't want to go thats ok but let her know she wont be staying with boyfriend send her to stay with a relative somewhere really boring then shell change her mind =)

 

[happymommy]

She in only 15? It sounds like she is in way over her head at such a young age. There is no way a child that young is ready for going on family trips with their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". I wouldn't even consider that.

You did the right thing. She is too young for such a relationship; he'll be off in college next year and in another world than she is. I would not allow my daughter that young to ever go away with a boy, even with family around.

 

[Tiger926]

She in only 15? It sounds like she is in way over her head at such a young age. There is no way a child that young is ready for going on family trips with their "boyfriend" or "girlfriend". I wouldn't even consider that.

You did the right thing. She is too young for such a relationship; he'll be off in college next year and in another world than she is. I would not allow my daughter that young to ever go away with a boy, even with family around.

I was thinking the same thing...I am a highschool teacher, and I'm so tired of dealing with children who think they are adults. Fifteen is way too young to be in such a long-term relationship, IMHO. Plus, what if they wanted to break up, but since you are paying for a trip, they might not do that?

Kids growing up way too fast these days are a lot of times encouraged to by the adults in their lives - going on a family vacation, attending a wedding, etc. are those types of events that bring a lot of pressures with them. Not necessary for 15 yr old children, IMHO.

Hopefully, it all works out and OP gets to enjoy a wonderful family trip, Tiger

 

[DISNEYFOS]

I'm a little hung up on the fact that you told her "Yes" last year. You may have followed up with a Maybe..but the Yes was still given.

I agree with everyone that that he shouldn't go for many many different reasons..but I think your daughter deserves a very heart to heart talk about why you said yes last year and you have since changed your mind.

 

[disfan07]

see, a lot of people are saying that shes too young to be in a long term relationship and i dont necesarily agree with this. One of my friends started dating someone when she was 15....shes 26 now. Theyve been together for 11 years, married for 3 years and she is due with their first child in 3 weeks.
Obviously, everyone is different, but you cant lump together ALL 15-16 year olds as being too young to be in a long term and serious relationship. Its not so black and white.

 

[krcit]

see, a lot of people are saying that shes too young to be in a long term relationship and i dont necesarily agree with this. One of my friends started dating someone when she was 15....shes 26 now. Theyve been together for 11 years, married for 3 years and she is due with their first child in 3 weeks.
Obviously, everyone is different, but you cant lump together ALL 15-16 year olds as being too young to be in a long term and serious relationship. Its not so black and white.

I'm 40 and I have know 4 couples that have been together since age 15. I still would never allow my 15 year old child to bring a boyfriend/girlfriend on a family trip. Not neccessary. If they are still together as adults, then that is a different story. I think bringing a bf/gf on a vacation is an adult thing..something to look forward to. JMHO.

 

[PrincessTiffany]

see, a lot of people are saying that shes too young to be in a long term relationship and i dont necesarily agree with this. One of my friends started dating someone when she was 15....shes 26 now. Theyve been together for 11 years, married for 3 years and she is due with their first child in 3 weeks.
Obviously, everyone is different, but you cant lump together ALL 15-16 year olds as being too young to be in a long term and serious relationship. Its not so black and white.

Well, that would be the exception, not the rule. The vast majorities of couples who start dating this young are not going to be together in a year or two, let alone get married and have a family.

 

[Tiger926]

I don't think it has anything to do with people knowing other people who have dated young, and gone on to have successful marriages. Why do kids have to be looking for life partners at age 15? I still don't get that...

Dating at age 15 is different than bringing boyfriends/girlfriends along on family vacations, or attending family weddings, etc. Those are all pressure-filled scenarios that can bring with them lots of responsibilities that young people may not be ready for.

I was the most mature 15 year old you could meet. I didn't have my first date until age 21 - there was no reason to date at age 15, so just because I could handle it, my parents felt that at age 15, I should be concentrating on other things besides looking for a future husband. And I'm glad they did...

Tiger

 

[PrincessTiffany]

I don't think it has anything to do with people knowing other people who have dated young, and gone on to have successful marriages. Why do kids have to be looking for life partners at age 15? I still don't get that...

Dating at age 15 is different than bringing boyfriends/girlfriends along on family vacations, or attending family weddings, etc. Those are all pressure-filled scenarios that can bring with them lots of responsibilities that young people may not be ready for.

I was the most mature 15 year old you could meet. I didn't have my first date until age 21 - there was no reason to date at age 15, so just because I could handle it, my parents felt that at age 15, I should be concentrating on other things besides looking for a future husband. And I'm glad they did...

Tiger

I totally agree with you. If more parents felt this way, the world would be a better place. We had a debate about this very issue here on the DIS a month or so ago and I got totally reamed for even suggesting that kids today are given too many freedoms with such things as cell phones with internet access, being allowed to wear full-face make up in sixth grade, dating too early, being given extravagant gifts such as coach bags and lap tops, etc. It's just a fact that our children are being over-sexualized in our society and too many parents are more worried about being their child's friend than their parent. I'll probably get flamed for it again, but I believe it is the truth.