Bridzilla Disney Style?

[Brier Rose]

You will also need to consider different accommodation arrangements over the wedding weekend instead of what we had previously planned. OP-what does the above mean? were you staying with family and now have to stay in a Hotel? I think this whole thing is just terrible-and for your MOM to join in with this nut's opinion is totally wrong. I feel bad for your DD also

She and all of the bridesmaids, myself, and our friends who do her hair and makeup were all going to stay together in a house she rented near the wedding venue.

 

[olwyngdh]

I keep wondering what is wrong with this girls parents that she not only was brought up to think this kind of behavior is acceptable, but what level of abuse they are taking from her if she thinks is is proper to treat new family in this way--it must be even worse for old family!

If you do decide to attend, I would only go for the ceremony and then leave. If you don't go, and anyone asks, tell them the truth, that she hurt you and your daughter very deeply and disinvited you because you had the audacity to give her a trip to Disney. I would let everyone know what an ungrateful female dog she actually is so that they don't end up being hurt by her in the future. There is no excuse for her behavior. None. Ok, maybe a complete psychological breakdown, but I don't think sociopathy hits that quickly.

 

[Anastasi]

Ok, this is the Dis, and I know how lots here love a good “2 sides to every story” smack down, so let me just say from the get-go this is MY personal experience. I’m just feeling pretty down, and need a vent session..no validation..no I’m so right and she’s so wrong..it is what it is.

On that note, l just returned home last night from the absolute hands down worst Bachelorette trip, or ANY trip for that matter that I have ever experienced in my life!!

The Bride is my brother’s fiancée, the maid of honor is..was..my daughter, so we took on all the planning. We all love Disney, so the Bride wanted Food and Wine Festival, great right??

We starting planning…months and months and MONTHS of planning. I formed a Facebook Group so that I could ask everyone involved in every step of the planning what they wanted to do and when. I never assumed one single activity..everything was put to a vote.
I booked a 2-Bedroom Villa at the Grand Floridian Villas for 3 nights with 2 day park hoppers for everyone. The girls are young, so I thought I’d be nice and just let them pay $500 each for the trip. That didn’t even cover HALF of the room, but that’s fine!

We picked a theme…Alice in Wonderland. We had all the girls pick a character, but didn’t tell them why. We had mini top hats custom made to match each character..they were BEAUTIFUL!! The Bride was Alice, and as a gift my daughter and I also had a beautiful Alice in Wonderland corset custom made for her in Milan Italy.

We made very detailed and elaborate themed ‘hangover” kit boxes for the girls, a sash for the Bride, and spend crazy amounts of time even making an Alice in Wonderland themed Epcot drinking game that we had cards designed and printed for.

I picked up allll the Brides expenses from her food to her spa treatments, every single thing. Not ONE offer from anyone else to help. There were two girls who couldn’t afford the spa, so I even paid for pedicures for them both because I didn’t want them to feel left out. I booked limos for transportation, ordered them room service for meals, and even bought them all tickets to them Villains Sinister Soiree at $100 each.

From Day One…5 hours into the trip..the Bride was “disappointed”. She did NOT want to eat at La Hacienda for dinner..which I had NO idea of. We’ve eaten there plenty of times before!! I got tables by the water so we had a PERFECT view of Illuminations and she wouldn’t even look out the window because she “hated everything about being there”. The other 2 girls were basically just mirror images of her. Well, except the one that got made because she was under the impression that she would have her OWN ROOM at the Villa. Lol

The plan was to go to Jelly Rolls after, so we did. She and the other 2 girls sat in the corner and literally pouted all night…I am not kidding. Total strangers asked us what was wrong with the Bride. I had NO clue at this point. I called my brother to ask if I had done something to upset her..that’s when I found out about the restaurant issue.

We got back to the villa she and the other girls went in one room, closed the door, and didn’t speak to any of the rest of us at all.
Next day..complaints about getting up for the Spa, and she was mad I didn’t tell her to pack a bathing suit. I had a hair and make-up team come to do “glam makeup” in the Villa before MNSSHP as a special treat. I even skipped the massage I had planned for myself so they could start on me while she took a shower..she was mad because she felt “rushed”.

They left before us for the party and we didn’t see them again until the Villains Party. They sat there..didn’t say one word to us..didn’t look around..didn’t crack a smile..hated all the desserts, and the Bride got pissed when Dr. Faciler tried to play around with her. We left without speaking..came in..they went in one room and closed the door again.
I didn’t speak to them again until the Bride texted me while at Epcot to meet up with her to give her a wristband for her food and drinks. They wouldn’t even meet us for dinner.

Come to find out..she DID NOT want to play any sort of game while in Epcot..wouldn’t look at it..wasn’t interested in it..and avoided us at all costs to keep from having to “talk about it”. I had already told her the day before that we didn’t have to do anything at all!!

There are so many more little things…but this is long. I know some of you are not going to believe she and the others acted like this for no reason, but they did. I tried so hard to just keep a smile on my face and let all of the comments and digs roll off my back. We finally got into it last night before coming home..now my daughter is no longer maid of honor…like she ever should have been anyway..and I am no longer invited to my brothers wedding.

I’m in shock.

Not excusing the behavior of the bride, as she was totally out of line, but this would have been my absolute nightmare of a bachelorette party. I hate dressing up, so the hats, the corset, the sash, all the planned activities including having a make up person come to the hotel room, I would not have enjoyed it at all. My idea of a bachelorette party would have been to just go and hang out with my friends, laugh and have fun.

That said, the bride was completely out of line and immature to pout and sulk. A simple "no thank you if she didn't want to do something would have been the correct answer." To blow it up into a huge fight was inappropriate.

The OP should not have been bashed to the point of whining to the future MIL, etc. That is over the top out of line. And then taking it out on the OP's daughter- not acceptable.

I get your point, and I agree -- to a point.

The whole purpose of a gift or thoughtful gesture for others is to be thoughtful of those on the receiving end. If the Taj Mahal or the backyard barbeque is likely to make the recipient(s) uncomfortable the giver isn't generous to go forward, full steam ahead, simply because they're chasing their bliss.

I think OP genuinely did what she did out of thoughtfulness. I kind of suspect OP's thoughtfulness can be a little ferociously overwhelming at times and her family accepts her for it because they love her. I think there's a little bit of room for the bride not growing up in that family and reaching the point where she wasn't just going to accept that's just Rose's way, just let Rose be in charge, etc.

The bride was completely out of line, completely, in the way she handled it. I just see signs that Rose is a bit tone deaf to others' feelings about certain things unless she is directly confronted with, ugh, I cannot stand X or Y. I also suspect she is more than a little bit susceptible to any and everything pixie dust & other parties' misgivings about that issue are glossed over.

My comments are not meant with unkind spirit, merely a mirror to reflect things back to OP in black and white. I also don't condone the bride's behavior, particularly as she has a relationship w/ Rose & should be aware of her loving intentions & should have gently reined things in beforehand. Maybe she was aware resistance is futile, or thought she had given indications of what she preferred and felt disregarded. Just some food for thought.

I have to agree with this. It is not unkind to the OP. She did an amazing job with all the thought and planning. Many, many people, as shown here would have been over the top loving it.

Unfortunately, the bride was not one of those people.

My mom's opinion is that she has no opinion. She just can't deal, so she won't. It's very frustrating!! I would say she swings more to their side tho. She makes excuses, and didn't even tell me that she had been texting back and forth with the bride. Even tho I had 6 other people to back up what I was telling her, in her mind I must have done something to set her off.

My brother is also 26. He is from a second marriage. My stepfather actually told me about a week BEFORE all this that he thinks this is a huge mistake. He had met up with them the weekend prior to attend an event and she acted similar..being an unreasonable brat..to my brother.

Things I have found out-

1) my brother called my mother and asked how to "handle" me, at which time she sent her the text message to show my mother what a crazy witch I am.

2) She was disappointed from go because...
I "wasted" our first FP+ on Peter Pan. I thought she loved Peter Pan!! Either way, she KNOWS it's my favorite, and it was my bday...which didn't get mentioned at all btw. Not that I cared!
We ride Winnie the Pooh second which is her fav so she was temporarily happy at least. Lol

3) at lunch, which I got Be our Guest FP+'s for 3 of the other girls arrived. They had never been to Disney before, so DD went to the front of the park to get them. Bride got jealous and determined from that point forward that they were the only ones we cared about talking to. Oookay.

4) we wanted to take a break around 4ish. It was hot, we were exhausted, and at that point I wanted to get to my luggage to get her "Future Mrs." Sash because I thought maybe she was "upset" that we weren't making a big enough fuss over her. She wanted to shop on Main Street with the other two girls, so we left, she got mad.

5) back at the room when I started passing out the gifts for her and the other girls, it took to long and didn't leave her enough time to "make herself pretty" before Epcot.

6) she absolutely positively did NOT want to eat at La Hacienda. A fact that was never mentioned to me..which turned into her sulking the rest of the night and not speaking to the rest of us until the next day.

7) I "was mean" to her about not bringing her bathing suit for the spa. She was also not happy that we weren't all together the whole time..we separated for treatments...

8) she had to wash her hair before the hair and makeup people could work on her. They told her she was fine not too, but she insisted because she felt gross. I knew this would be the case which is why I passed in treatments I wanted so that I could go first and give her time to take a shower. When I told her this, she took it as I was saying she was stupid for getting massage oil in her hair.

9) she and the other two girls got up at 7am and went to AK. They still hadn't spoken to us since the night before. We didn't see them once that day, but the posted lots of FB pics of them in their matching hats..minus DD of course. By 6:15 she was texting me asking if it would cause a problem if the skipped dinner with us. AFTER I had booked Le Cellier at her request. I went off on her. We haven't spoken since.

So...there you have it. My crimes according to her. I'm an awful awful person. And what ANY of that had to do with DD or my other sister who got the same treatment, I still don't know!!

I don't see a lot of flexibility in the plans like "The bride wanted to shop, but I needed to go get the sash..., etc" The better thing would have been to just forget the sash and everybody go shopping like the bride wanted to do.

I think the only mistake here was to make this a surprise. As others have said, the bridesmaids did not seem to know the bride very well, and neither did the OP. The posts are full of "I didn't know she didn't like this ride, I didn't know she didn't like this restaurant." Big surprises can either be amazing or can bomb big time like this one did.

The OP put a lot of money, time and thought into something she thought was going to be absolutely wonderful. It was not appreciated and that is absolutely wrong! The bride should have appreciated the thought, effort and money that went into it even if it was not her idea of a good time.

The bride should have been gracious and not so petty, pouty and immature. But I also see just a tiny bit of blame on the OP. After the OP knew that the bride was not happy and her elaborate plans were not her taste, they should have all sat down and rearranged plans to make it all about the bride.

Again though, I think the bride was completely out of line. I can just see it a little bit her way because I would have been completely uncomfortable in the plans the OP made. That is nothing against the OP, as she did an incredible job planning an elaborate and wonderful weekend. She should be applauded for that.

 

[2Kds2K9]

I think before this gets really out of hand, OP you need to have a face to face with your mother. I really think that texting is not the best way to communicate in this situation. People need to hear and see the actual feeling involved. Then see where it goes from there. And the if that doesn't help, I'd attend the ceremony dressed in all black!

 

[EMom]

I wouldn't go to the wedding for love nor money. They OP has already spent a small fortune on the party weekend, and we see what thanks she got for that. They are out money for the MOH dress, I assume. Now the bride expects them to pay for a hotel because she's kicking them out of the house they were going to stay in. Spending even $5 for gas to travel to this wedding is going to be throwing money away. The women who were going to do hair/makeup are no doubt going to get stiffed for their previously contracted services. Other people's money simply does not matter to this bride.

More important than money is that the groom and even the OP's mom have indicated it is "better" if the OP and family stay away from the wedding. God forbid the bride gets her feathers ruffled. The bride has indicated she will tolerate the presence of the OP's family at the wedding, but just barely. They'd better be seen and not heard. And try to wear beige and blend into the walls. It couldn't be any clearer that they are not wanted. So I just wouldn't go. I could not support the marriage of two such people. It would be a farce.

I would go somewhere else and have a good time. Maybe post pics of me enjoying that drinking game. But I would NOT attend that wedding. I might send an RSVP. The OP has been treated like dirt, her DD has been treated horribly, the OP's mother has joined the Legion of Spineless and is afraid to upset the bride......Nope, wouldn't attend.

I joke about wearing the MOH dress and looking around during the "objections" part, if for some reason I felt compelled to attend the wedding. That's easy to do, because there is no way in hell I would go. The other reason it is easy to do is because that's the sort of mischief my mind gets up to. I can see about half my family showing up in that MOH dress and not batting an eye. That's why no one would cross them in the first place. The other half of my family would say, "Dang, I wish I'd thought of wearing that dress!"

My first choice would be to play nice and stay away from the wedding. No one would want to force a family member of mine to go to the second choice. I would encourage the OP to put the brakes on being a doormat to this chick RIGHT NOW or she will make her life miserable for years to come. Nip it in the bud.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Sorry you are dealing with this.
She sounds a lot like my sister. I'v spent years being the one who is wrong misinterpreting things, twisting things to make problems...
She is an expert on making herself innocent and clueless that there are any problems with her behavior.
Like you I've had my moments were a little telling off (OK, a lot) happened. It always just made me look like the problem.
It's taken decades but she finally slipped up and showed her true colors to the rest of the family. To be totally honest, it feel pretty awesome to finally have everyone else understand what I've been dealing with and how she's made me feel for so long.
If your mother doesn't think you should attend the wedding, don't go. This woman has set it up so you will be the bad guy regardless of what you do. You don't go and she'll make you out as the bad guy because you were still invited. You go and she'll complain that you had the nerve to show up. She (or her friends) might even create some drama to make you the bad guy.
Your brother is going to just stand by her so nothing you do will help with your brother.
Since you care about your mom's opinion, do what she thinks is best so it can't be twisted to make her upset with you too.
Eventually this woman will show everyone else who she is. The trick is to bite your tongue and wait it out.

 

[luvsJack]

I very well know someone exactly like this bride to be. Too well, in fact. She is my ex-dil. And I promise you, she would have done exactly this in the same situation and has acted this way in similar situations.

It was never really about who planned what or how they planned it. It was never about what she liked or didn't like. Her favorite color may be green, but when you buy her that perfect green whatever; she gets her feelings hurt because its green but doesn't have any blue in it and today she has decided she likes blue with her green stuff. I mean really off the wall stuff that no one (including her own mother) could possibly figure it out.

If the OP's soon to be sister in law is that way, NOTHING will change it and nothing the OP could have done would have changed it.

People like that are surrounded by drama (the whole going off to a bedroom and closing a door on the others--I mean who does that? She is a grown woman not a high school girl!), they are never satisfied with anything and they think the whole world should revolve around them and what they want, period. And they tend to believe that whatever they want is ok because somehow they deserve it. No matter what you do for them, its wrong and its never enough. Its not big enough or flashy enough or expensive enough. Its always the wrong thing-wrong restaurant, wrong table, wrong whatever--even if an hour ago it was her favorite place in the world.

The whole playing up to everyone else and making them feel sorry for her--yep, just part of the whole make up of a person like that. Ex-dil was the queen of being the victim and knew how to turn on the tears and the little whiny voice that sounded like a 4 year old so everyone (that didn't know better) felt sorry for her and just knew that everyone else was just being mean.

OP, I feel for you and your brother. Maybe she will grow up and change. I mean it is possible. But it will be a long row to hoe for your brother until that happens.

 

[Laura66]

Not excusing the behavior of the bride, as she was totally out of line, but this would have been my absolute nightmare of a bachelorette party. I hate dressing up, so the hats, the corset, the sash, all the planned activities including having a make up person come to the hotel room, I would not have enjoyed it at all. My idea of a bachelorette party would have been to just go and hang out with my friends, laugh and have fun.

That said, the bride was completely out of line and immature to pout and sulk. A simple "no thank you if she didn't want to do something would have been the correct answer." To blow it up into a huge fight was inappropriate.

The OP should not have been bashed to the point of whining to the future MIL, etc. That is over the top out of line. And then taking it out on the OP's daughter- not acceptable.


I have to agree with this. It is not unkind to the OP. She did an amazing job with all the thought and planning. Many, many people, as shown here would have been over the top loving it.

Unfortunately, the bride was not one of those people.



I don't see a lot of flexibility in the plans like "The bride wanted to shop, but I needed to go get the sash..., etc" The better thing would have been to just forget the sash and everybody go shopping like the bride wanted to do.

I think the only mistake here was to make this a surprise. As others have said, the bridesmaids did not seem to know the bride very well, and neither did the OP. The posts are full of "I didn't know she didn't like this ride, I didn't know she didn't like this restaurant." Big surprises can either be amazing or can bomb big time like this one did.

The OP put a lot of money, time and thought into something she thought was going to be absolutely wonderful. It was not appreciated and that is absolutely wrong! The bride should have appreciated the thought, effort and money that went into it even if it was not her idea of a good time.

The bride should have been gracious and not so petty, pouty and immature. But I also see just a tiny bit of blame on the OP. After the OP knew that the bride was not happy and her elaborate plans were not her taste, they should have all sat down and rearranged plans to make it all about the bride.

Again though, I think the bride was completely out of line. I can just see it a little bit her way because I would have been completely uncomfortable in the plans the OP made. That is nothing against the OP, as she did an incredible job planning an elaborate and wonderful weekend. She should be applauded for that.

This is what I think exactly - but you made your point better - and less offensive than I did.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

OP, don't go to the wedding if everyone else thinks it would add to the tension. But call your brother the morning of the ceremony, tell him you love him, support him and hope he has a wonderful day and wonderful marriage. Also stress that you will always be there for him.

 

[okeydokey]

I think you and your daughter should go or not go to the wedding depending on how you feel about it and not based on what other people want you to do.

Do you want to see your brother married? If it means something to you do be there, then go.

If you would rather not be involved because you don't want to be stressed, then skip the wedding and don't look back. The decision is yours and should be based on what YOU want and are feeling.

Of course, then come back here and tell us all how it went!!

 

[Brier Rose]

Not excusing the behavior of the bride, as she was totally out of line, but this would have been my absolute nightmare of a bachelorette party. I hate dressing up, so the hats, the corset, the sash, all the planned activities including having a make up person come to the hotel room, I would not have enjoyed it at all. My idea of a bachelorette party would have been to just go and hang out with my friends, laugh and have fun.

That said, the bride was completely out of line and immature to pout and sulk. A simple "no thank you if she didn't want to do something would have been the correct answer." To blow it up into a huge fight was inappropriate.

The OP should not have been bashed to the point of whining to the future MIL, etc. That is over the top out of line. And then taking it out on the OP's daughter- not acceptable.



I have to agree with this. It is not unkind to the OP. She did an amazing job with all the thought and planning. Many, many people, as shown here would have been over the top loving it.

Unfortunately, the bride was not one of those people.



I don't see a lot of flexibility in the plans like "The bride wanted to shop, but I needed to go get the sash..., etc" The better thing would have been to just forget the sash and everybody go shopping like the bride wanted to do.

I think the only mistake here was to make this a surprise. As others have said, the bridesmaids did not seem to know the bride very well, and neither did the OP. The posts are full of "I didn't know she didn't like this ride, I didn't know she didn't like this restaurant." Big surprises can either be amazing or can bomb big time like this one did.

The OP put a lot of money, time and thought into something she thought was going to be absolutely wonderful. It was not appreciated and that is absolutely wrong! The bride should have appreciated the thought, effort and money that went into it even if it was not her idea of a good time.

The bride should have been gracious and not so petty, pouty and immature. But I also see just a tiny bit of blame on the OP. After the OP knew that the bride was not happy and her elaborate plans were not her taste, they should have all sat down and rearranged plans to make it all about the bride.

Again though, I think the bride was completely out of line. I can just see it a little bit her way because I would have been completely uncomfortable in the plans the OP made. That is nothing against the OP, as she did an incredible job planning an elaborate and wonderful weekend. She should be applauded for that.

Ok, seriously not that I feel like I need to defend myself, BUT, there is just all kinds of misunderstanding here.

I begged her to go somewhere laid back and chill!! She is the one who wanted Disney and all the plans that entails. She is ALL about structure, even to the point where she would get very antsy if we took to long eating!

I would have loved the beach or a resort in the mountains somewhere with a spa..layin by the pool all day, dinner at night, late nights out! I was trying to do what she ASKED for.

She is all about fancy. She LOVES getting dressed up, hair and makeup, again I planned that FOR HER.

And last..the weirdest bit of the bunch...I DO know what she likes..I know everything about her! We have been to Disney together MANY times, rode those rides, eaten at the SAME restaurants!! NEVER had a problem with any of it until THIS time. Why?? I doubt even she knows!!

 

[Brier Rose]

I very well know someone exactly like this bride to be. Too well, in fact. She is my ex-dil. And I promise you, she would have done exactly this in the same situation and has acted this way in similar situations.

It was never really about who planned what or how they planned it. It was never about what she liked or didn't like. Her favorite color may be green, but when you buy her that perfect green whatever; she gets her feelings hurt because its green but doesn't have any blue in it and today she has decided she likes blue with her green stuff. I mean really off the wall stuff that no one (including her own mother) could possibly figure it out.

If the OP's soon to be sister in law is that way, NOTHING will change it and nothing the OP could have done would have changed it.

People like that are surrounded by drama (the whole going off to a bedroom and closing a door on the others--I mean who does that? She is a grown woman not a high school girl!), they are never satisfied with anything and they think the whole world should revolve around them and what they want, period. And they tend to believe that whatever they want is ok because somehow they deserve it. No matter what you do for them, its wrong and its never enough. Its not big enough or flashy enough or expensive enough. Its always the wrong thing-wrong restaurant, wrong table, wrong whatever--even if an hour ago it was her favorite place in the world.

The whole playing up to everyone else and making them feel sorry for her--yep, just part of the whole make up of a person like that. Ex-dil was the queen of being the victim and knew how to turn on the tears and the little whiny voice that sounded like a 4 year old so everyone (that didn't know better) felt sorry for her and just knew that everyone else was just being mean.

OP, I feel for you and your brother. Maybe she will grow up and change. I mean it is possible. But it will be a long row to hoe for your brother until that happens.

YES!!! This exactly!!! Any other time she would have loved every ounce of this!! Seriously nobody could have predicted this outcome!

 

[Brier Rose]

I think before this gets really out of hand, OP you need to have a face to face with your mother. I really think that texting is not the best way to communicate in this situation. People need to hear and see the actual feeling involved. Then see where it goes from there. And the if that doesn't help, I'd attend the ceremony dressed in all black!

I tried, she won't talk to me about it. Says she just can't be in the middle, can't desk, will only make things worse, blahblahblah.

I'm beyond frustrated. I also tried to talk to my brother. ZERO response. I even asked him to please explain to me, other than the one angry text, what I did wrong..no response.

When I begged my mom to at least tell me wth the issue with dd is, all she could say was that DD looked at one of the friends mean...

 

[sunshinehighway]

Ok, seriously not that I feel like I need to defend myself, BUT, there is just all kinds of misunderstanding here.

I begged her to go somewhere laid back and chill!! She is the one who wanted Disney and all the plans that entails. She is ALL about structure, even to the point where she would get very antsy if we took to long eating!

I would have loved the beach or a resort in the mountains somewhere with a spa..layin by the pool all day, dinner at night, late nights out! I was trying to do what she ASKED for.

She is all about fancy. She LOVES getting dressed up, hair and makeup, again I planned that FOR HER.

And last..the weirdest bit of the bunch...I DO know what she likes..I know everything about her! We have been to Disney together MANY times, rode those rides, eaten at the SAME restaurants!! NEVER had a problem with any of it until THIS time. Why?? I doubt even she knows!!

Her problem this time was probably that you and your daughter were there. It sounds like she wanted to just be with her friends and you guys just being there made her unhappy.

 

[arminnie]

Write ALL of these horrible people off. Life is too short to have to deal with nasty drama queens and people who not only do not care about your welfare but actually wish you ill.

Block them all from FB, take their numbers out of your phone. Do not EVER try to contact them again. Do not waste any more time and effort trying to figure out WHY this happened. It did and the rest of them took turns stabbing you in the back.

And then go live your life well with your family and friends who truly care about you.

Just pretend like they all died because horrible people who want to hurt you should be dead to you.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Write ALL of these horrible people off. Life is too short to have to deal with nasty drama queens and people who not only do not care about your welfare but actually wish you ill.

Block them all from FB, take their numbers out of your phone. Do not EVER try to contact them again. Do not waste any more time and effort trying to figure out WHY this happened. It did and the rest of them took turns stabbing you in the back.

And then go live your life well with your family and friends who truly care about you.

Just pretend like they all died because horrible people who want to hurt you should be dead to you.

That's pretty extreme considering her brother and mother are involved.

 

[Laura66]

That's pretty extreme considering her brother and mother are involved.

I agree.

I have absolutely no idea how she should handle it though.

 

[izzy]

Her problem this time was probably that you and your daughter were there. It sounds like she wanted to just be with her friends and you guys just being there made her unhappy.

Bingo!! I've thought all along that she was showing off in front of her friends and she let herself get totally out of hand. Rather than be an adult and take responsibility for her own behavior, she's instead trying to place the blame on the OP.

OP, best of luck on whatever you decide to do. Personally, if my brother, mother, and future SIL treated me like this, there is no way I would go to the wedding. And I'd be sending her a bill for her portion of the bachelorette party.

 

[Stacerita]

Just pretend like they all died because horrible people who want to hurt you should be dead to you.

That's exteme. I get being upset and having really hard feelings now, but to have them be dead to you is a bit much. Words were said, feelings were hurt, people are upset. Nothing worth writing them off as dead.

Time should help mend some relationships. Others it would be best to avoid and when you can't, just be nice and let it go.

She sounds like a horrid person. But your brother knows what he is getting into.

 

[usnuzuloose]

I am shocked that your brother requested you not be there? I hate to say but I bet they both had a fight over this and chose to take the heat for you not being there.

What the heck do your parents think of this matter? I have not read every response.