Bridal Shower: Writing Your Own Address on the Envelope of a TY Card

[teller80]

I think in the interest of full disclosure those who think it's ok should state if it's what they did. It's like asking people who made an Akershus reservation only to blow it off to get to Anna & Elsa before everyone else if it's ok. Of course they see nothing improper about it, they did it!

 

[alicat8]

I'm older than you, and I've done it at several showers. It's the host's way of helping out the bride/mom to be. I have no problem with it. But I'm also one who hates thank you cards in general. Every time I get one, I wish the trees had been spared.

 

[teller80]

We are doing this for my daughter's baby shower - because we don't have addresses for most of the guests. We did all the inviting by email. And many of her friends only have cellphones (no landlines) so you can't look up their addresses in a phone book or online. Without this, sending out the thank you cards would be very challenging!

I'm so sorry I inconvenienced you.

 

[Kalliope]

We are doing this for my daughter's baby shower - because we don't have addresses for most of the guests. We did all the inviting by email. And many of her friends only have cellphones (no landlines) so you can't look up their addresses in a phone book or online. Without this, sending out the thank you cards would be very challenging!

A "hey, can you text /email me your address please, thanks!" Works wonders. Being lazy is no excuse.

 

[gwynne]

We are doing this for my daughter's baby shower - because we don't have addresses for most of the guests. We did all the inviting by email. And many of her friends only have cellphones (no landlines) so you can't look up their addresses in a phone book or online. Without this, sending out the thank you cards would be very challenging!

This makes sense to me. And congrats to all! A new baby is a blessing.

 

[powellrj]

They were doing this back when I got married in the 70's because I wondered why nobody did it for me. I had to write all of my own!

 

[elaine amj]

We are doing this for my daughter's baby shower - because we don't have addresses for most of the guests. We did all the inviting by email. And many of her friends only have cellphones (no landlines) so you can't look up their addresses in a phone book or online. Without this, sending out the thank you cards would be very challenging!

It would work for me - it really wouldn't bother me or occur to me that it was something to be bothered about (until I learned it on the Dis).

Then again, I have received FB invites for weddings and not been offended. I'm not offended if I don't get a thank you note either. Moreover, where I come from, it is tradition to hand deliver your wedding invites (that took me a few days lol!) but no one mails thank you notes. Guests get their thank yous in the form of party favors.

What I like (and don't require) is for the person to tell me/show me at some point that they loved the gift. e.g. my SIL just texted me a photo of their using the gift I sent them in December for their baby. I loved that

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

We are doing this for my daughter's baby shower - because we don't have addresses for most of the guests. We did all the inviting by email. And many of her friends only have cellphones (no landlines) so you can't look up their addresses in a phone book or online. Without this, sending out the thank you cards would be very challenging!

Since you did an email invite, I would expect an email thank you! Either way, I'm sure the guests would enjoy the thanks.

 

[MIGrandma]

I think in the interest of full disclosure those who think it's ok should state if it's what they did. It's like asking people who made an Akershus reservation only to blow it off to get to Anna & Elsa before everyone else if it's ok. Of course they see nothing improper about it, they did it!

Nope, it wasn't done 40 years ago when I was given my showers but I don't have a problem with others doing it. Its just not something that bothers me in the slightest.

 

[alicat8]

After really reading through this, I can't believe how many people are so put off by this! Don't you LOVE the people you're going to these showers for? Don't you spend enough time with them to know how stressful it is to plan a wedding or have a new baby? Does it really inconvenience you THAT much to take 20 seconds to write your own address after you've already put yourself out SO much by buying a gift, showing up, and writing your own card that it angers you to be asked to do so and save the bride some time? Something that could easily add a half hour + to their thank you card writing time.
I'm happy to go out of my way to help people in that situation, because I've been there and know what it's like. I don't feel annoyed by "tackiness", I'm happy to have an opportunity to help. If you're not, maybe you don't belong at the shower.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Don't you LOVE the people you're going to these showers for? Don't you spend enough time with them to know how stressful it is to plan a wedding or have a new baby? Does it really inconvenience you THAT much to take 20 seconds to write your own address after you've already put yourself out SO much by buying a gift, showing up, and writing your own card that it angers you to be asked to do so and save the bride some time? Something that could easily add a half hour + to their thank you card writing time.
.

OH NO - an entire half hour added to their thank you card writing time. However will they survive? Being stressed is no excuse for being ignorant of etiquette and rude.

No - it is NOT an inconvenience to me to write my address down - its inconsiderate of the bride/mother to be to not want to spend 20 extra seconds to express thanks.

Epitome of tacky!

 

[lauracitawita]

When I go to a shower, it's because I want to go and support the bride. I have almost always received a beautiful thank you card and I can't fathom being annoyed at being asked by the wedding party to write my address on a flipping envelope!

Seriously, what is the big deal?

What a nice thing for the maid of honor (or whoever is asking) to do for the bride that we are all celebrating.

I take the time to buy a gift and wrap it because I want to do that. Not because the bride damn well better send me a thank you card and make sure to write my address on the envelope herself.

This is exactly why I had a teeny tiny wedding. I never wanted anyone to come to a shower for me or my wedding and feel like they HAD to buy me something and I in return had to do exactly what they expected. I can't keep up with everyone's stuff!

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

After really reading through this, I can't believe how many people are so put off by this! Don't you LOVE the people you're going to these showers for? Don't you spend enough time with them to know how stressful it is to plan a wedding or have a new baby? Does it really inconvenience you THAT much to take 20 seconds to write your own address after you've already put yourself out SO much by buying a gift, showing up, and writing your own card that it angers you to be asked to do so and save the bride some time? Something that could easily add a half hour + to their thank you card writing time.
I'm happy to go out of my way to help people in that situation, because I've been there and know what it's like. I don't feel annoyed by "tackiness", I'm happy to have an opportunity to help. If you're not, maybe you don't belong at the shower.

Yes I love the person the shower is being held for, that's why I bought them a nice gift and went to the shower. And shouldn't they love me just as much to spend the 20 seconds you mentioned to write down the address? And since I saved the person 20 seconds of time, I'm definitely expecting a more personal note.

Guess what? I've planned my own wedding and someone threw us a shower but we still found the time to write out the envelopes and cards with a personal touch. My shower and wedding was not small so I had a lot on my plate too. We set TY cards as a priority. Instead of watching tv in the evening for a week, we wrote the cards out instead.

 

[lauracitawita]

After really reading through this, I can't believe how many people are so put off by this! Don't you LOVE the people you're going to these showers for? Don't you spend enough time with them to know how stressful it is to plan a wedding or have a new baby? Does it really inconvenience you THAT much to take 20 seconds to write your own address after you've already put yourself out SO much by buying a gift, showing up, and writing your own card that it angers you to be asked to do so and save the bride some time? Something that could easily add a half hour + to their thank you card writing time.
I'm happy to go out of my way to help people in that situation, because I've been there and know what it's like. I don't feel annoyed by "tackiness", I'm happy to have an opportunity to help. If you're not, maybe you don't belong at the shower.

Seriously!

EVERYTHING is 'tacky' now. Let's all sit in our homes and hide at the risk of offending someone.

Sheesh. I absolutely do not understand how this could bother someone.

 

[beastandbelle]

Maybe this is regional but I haven't been to a shower where the guests did not write their addresses on the thank you envelopes. I don't think anyone in our area bats an eye if this is done, possibly the opposite. I definitely have never found it tacky to do this. I think it also helps to ensure that everyone who did attend receives a thank you. Sometimes the invitation list and attendance list are quite different, and the gift list at the shower may be incomplete.

 

[Minnesota!]

I can't remember a shower where this wasn't done! Everyone fills it.out, puts.in a basket. A few are drawn over the course of the shower and they win a prize.

Takes, what, 15 seconds to write your address? Makes the brides/new moms life a little easier.and.you get a chance at a prize? BFD!!!

 

[teller80]

After really reading through this, I can't believe how many people are so put off by this! Don't you LOVE the people you're going to these showers for? Don't you spend enough time with them to know how stressful it is to plan a wedding or have a new baby? Does it really inconvenience you THAT much to take 20 seconds to write your own address after you've already put yourself out SO much by buying a gift, showing up, and writing your own card that it angers you to be asked to do so and save the bride some time? Something that could easily add a half hour + to their thank you card writing time.
I'm happy to go out of my way to help people in that situation, because I've been there and know what it's like. I don't feel annoyed by "tackiness", I'm happy to have an opportunity to help. If you're not, maybe you don't belong at the shower.

And I see it as:

After reading through this, I can't believe how many people think it's ok to ask guests address their own thank you notes. Don't you LOVE the people who came to your shower? Don't you spend enough time with them to know that they put a lot of time and effort into shopping for the gift, wrapping it and coming to the event? Does it really inconvenience you THAT much to take 20 seconds to write their address on their thank you card? Something that only adds a half hour + to your card writing time.

I'm happy to 'go out of my way' to write thank you notes, because I've been there and I know what it's like. I'm happy to have an opportunity to express my gratitude. If I wasn't, maybe I shouldn't be inviting you to my shower.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

Maybe this is regional but I haven been to a shower where the guests did not write their addresses on the thank you envelopes. I don't think anyone in our area bats an eye if this is done, possibly the opposite. I definitely have never found it tacky to do this. I think it also helps to ensure that everyone who did attend receives a thank you. Sometimes the invitation list and attendance list are quite different, and the gift list at the shower may be incomplete.

Maybe it is regional or maybe it is the norm that I've never experienced! Next time this happens to me at a shower or party, I think my reaction will probably be less- like oh ok guess this is the new norm and fill it out. Think I was just a little or a LOT surprised by the request.

 

[alicat8]

And I see it as:

After reading through this, I can't believe how many people think it's ok to ask guests address their own thank you notes. Don't you LOVE the people who came to your shower? Don't you spend enough time with them to know that they put a lot of time and effort into shopping for the gift, wrapping it and coming to the event? Does it really inconvenience you THAT much to take 20 seconds to write their address on their thank you card? Something that only adds a half hour + to your card writing time.

I'm happy to 'go out of my way' to write thank you notes, because I've been there and I know what it's like. I'm happy to have an opportunity to express my gratitude. If I wasn't, maybe I shouldn't be inviting you to my shower.

And like I said, I don't go to a shower and bring a gift because I expect a certain level of appreciation. I go and give a gift to support whomever the shower is being held for. But I guess that's where everyone is different, and I'm glad I'm surrounded by people of a similar mindset and not those who are so self-centered that they think a shower is AT ALL about them and what they deserve out of the situation.

And I meant 30+ minutes to write addresses (completely mindless thoughtless work), NOT write out the cards.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I've seen it a few times and don't really like it. I'm not sure how to explain it, exactly - I guess it makes me feel like the party is all about the gifts rather than the celebration. I don't know.

Anyway, I do see thank-you-notes (the whole process) as the responsibility of the recipient, not the giver. So I did see it as kind of tacky. However, it wasn't a big deal to me at all. I noticed it, formed the thought, but wrote my address and moved right on to the next thought with no distress.