Bridal Shower: Writing Your Own Address on the Envelope of a TY Card

[wvjules]

I find it odd that an emailed thank you is ok but addressing an envelope at the shower is not.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

I find it odd that an emailed thank you is ok but addressing an envelope at the shower is not.

I'm not taking any part in putting my own TY card together. Since I grew up in with technology, I really don't see it much different from a card/letter. I know others feel differently and that's fine.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

I wouldn't be nearly as annoyed with printed labels versus having to address my own thank you. At least then, it's on the bride to make the effort instead of passing it to her guests.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

I find it odd that an emailed thank you is ok but addressing an envelope at the shower is not.

If the bride asked that *I* enter my own email address, it would be annoying. Having a guest do any part of their thank you note - no matter what the format - is TACKY.

 

[Julylady]

I think its very tacky. I was handed an envelope at a baby shower a couple of years ago. I acted confused (well I really wasn't acting, I was confused) and the hostess admitted she thought it was tacky too but the baby's grandma asked her to do it. Interestingly, no one else at the shower seemed bothered by it in the least. I decided on the way home that I wouldn't do it again. If someone asks me to preaddress an envelope, I am going to write a note on it saying how tacky I think it is. I am like that though.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

I wouldn't be nearly as annoyed with printed labels versus having to address my own thank you. At least then, it's on the bride to make the effort instead of passing it to her guests.

We used clear labels if that makes a difference.

 

[SMD]

I've been handed invitations to baby showers, bridal showers and even once a wedding at work. In that context the mother-to-be or bride either doesn't know my address or the person throwing the shower doesn't know if she has it. It wouldn't bother me to write it out on an envelope, since I'd probably be writing it out for them anyway.

 

[Kellykins1218]

Is it a timesaver for the bride to be? Absolutely.

Is it tacky? Certainly.

Is it tacky? Certainly not. I don't consider it tacky at all.

 

[Kellykins1218]

People find the silliest things to get annoyed about

 

[scrapquitler]

I went to a bridal shower this past weekend (yes it was in a restaurant with about 50 women) and I was given a blank envelope by one of the hosts to write my own address on so the bride wouldn't have to spend time doing that when she writes out thank you cards. I did it but I thought it was a bit ridiculous that she couldn't spend a few extra minutes writing out the addresses herself. It may not be the bride's idea but her mom or MOH but I thought it was super tacky. I'm 29 and got married last year. I would never dream of asking guests to write their own envelopes. Am I just super old school or is this a new trend?

Does not bother me ONE BIT. This is an easy way to be sure that the bride has the proper address for everyone.

 

[Wendy31]

I've been to a couple of showers where the guests were asked to address their own envelopes for the thank you cards.

In my mind, I rolled my eyes a bit, but, on the outside, I cheerfully addressed my envelope because I'm a "get along" type of girl. I'm not going to write "Lazy Bride" or anything else like it on the envelope, & I'm not going to refuse to do it on principle. I'll write my name & address & then go on w/ my day.

But it's not something that was done at any of my showers (wedding or baby).

And, while I don't think it's the worst thing ever in the world of manners to address my own thank you envelope, I do think many etiquette experts would probably frown on the practice.

However, I'm just happy to receive a thank you note - whether it's been addressed by me or not. What has happened to writing thank you notes?!

I was at a baby shower about 6 months ago & couldn't stay for the entire thing, so I wasn't even there when the gifts were opened. I still haven't received a thank you card. But I'm not sure why I was expecting one. Two years ago, I attended the girl's wedding & never received a thank you card then either.

But she's not the only one. The daughter of a lady w/ whom we used to go to church had her first baby. She didn't have a shower, but I gave her mother a gift to give to her daughter. Who knows if she actually did? Because we never got a thank you - verbal, written, sent via her mom, message on FB, anything.

There have been a few other occasions recently as well at which we've given a gift, but never received a thank you card. And I'm not talking about birthdays or Christmas where you're generally thanked at the time the gift is opened, I'm talking about weddings & showers. At the very least, I want to know that the person received our gift & that it wasn't lost somewhere.

So, if having the guests address their own thank you envelopes will help the gift receiver to actually write & send her thank you cards, then... whatever. Go for it.

 

[MrsDuck]

Why make it harder? I have no problem with this trend.

It takes you 1 minute to write your address & saves the couple a ton of time.

 

[spacemountainmom]

I was asked to address my own thank you once, at a baby shower for a 5th child.

I did find it off-putting. I somehow managed to address all the thank you's from my high school graduation, bridal showers, wedding, baby shower and new baby gifts for two babies. I don't feel too sorry for anyone who is too stressed to do the right thing.

 

[Goofy_Disney_Dad]

I was asked to address my own thank you once, at a baby shower for a 5th child.

I did find it off-putting. I somehow managed to address all the thank you's from my high school graduation, bridal showers, wedding, baby shower and new baby gifts for two babies. I don't feel too sorry for anyone who is too stressed to do the right thing.

But did you get asked to do it for the 6th, 7th, 8th or beyond? How long have you known the Duggars?



Sorry, couldn't resist.

 

[spacemountainmom]

But did you get asked to do it for the 6th, 7th, 8th or beyond? How long have you known the Duggars?



Sorry, couldn't resist.

LOL - I didn't get invited to a shower for the 6th child. I think they are done now, but I could be wrong!

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

I was asked to address my own thank you once, at a baby shower for a 5th child.

Haha I've been invited to baby showers for people's second child but they cleverly called it a diaper party but it was clearly a baby shower.

 

[alicat8]

It still seems like the most of the people who are so against it are ignoring the fact that the guest of honor is not the one asking people to fill out their envelopes. Their host is trying to do them one extra favor by asking you to do it. It has nothing to do with the bride's willingness to or refusal to put in the effort.
[goes back to happy bubble]

 

[FairestOfThemAll37]

I'm not really bothered by it. In the day and age of most brides and grooms working full time, I would think it would be appreciated.

I always think it's a bit odd that those who most vehemently claim how TACKY it is and anybody who knows proper etiquette would know this are the ones who have said they'd write lazy *** bride in the return address or write a note on the envelope giving their disapproval!

I'd bet almost anything that etiquette experts would say that is far worse than the original faux pas.

Etiquette aside, it's just rude and nasty behavior. I mean really putting a bride "in her place" for something that in all likelihood somebody else planned on what's supposed to be a happy day? That's just ugly and petty.

If you're so stringent on having things done your way, maybe you shouldn't attend gatherings for others. Especially since wedding traditions and etiquette vary widely both regionally and culturally. What white Anglo-Saxon experts say is not the be-all end-all of wedding etiquette in the U.S., let alone anywhere else.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Haha I've been invited to baby showers for people's second child but they cleverly called it a diaper party but it was clearly a baby shower.

This was for someone from my Church. The whole situation was "poor me". Couple already had four young kids, dad was working a route sales job and out of the house for about 14 hours a day. Dad wanted to quit job to spend more time with family but found out baby number 5 was coming so he didn't quit. Mom ended up on bed rest for most of the pregnancy. People from church were pretty much feeding them and dealing with the kids on a daily basis for the entire pregnancy.

Baby 5 came, dad ended up getting a weird form of cancer that mostly kids get. Dad couldn't work for quite some time and then baby 6 came. I fell out of the loop at that point. All I know is that Dad thankfully seems to have beaten the cancer and he now works at Church.

 

[donac]

I love the discussion about email vs hand written thank yours. I retired in June along with a couple of other people. One had her party early so she sent out hand written notes to all who contributed to the gift. At the bigger party for several of us I got a couple of gc (2 for Disney) and an amazon. There were 80 people listed on the card. My dh thought I was crazy but I spent an entire weekend writing ty notes. It felt good to thank everyone who had contributed. A couple of the other people just wrote a note and put it on the counter in the main office.