Bridal Shower: Writing Your Own Address on the Envelope of a TY Card

[cluvsdisney]

I don't like it. If the hosts of the shower are concerned with saving time for the bride, they can do it. They obviously had the address so they can invite everyone. Not that I think the 30 seconds it takes to address an envelope is too much of a burden for anyone.

 

[Dizlvr]

I never realized just how uptight some people are, I guess some people just need something to complain about.
You get a thank you card, but it isn't a paragraph stating how wonderful you are for giving such a wonderful gift. But, if its is, then lets complain that the bride to be didn't address the envelopes herself.
I wonder what it will be next. You weren't sent a notorized thank you, I mean you can never be sure it was actually the bride who wrote it, it could have been one of her cronies, I mean bridesmaids.

 

[belle1986]

My mom had everyone do this for my baby shower for my second child and honestly it was a lifesaver. With a newborn and a toddler it made a huge difference in the time it took to get the cards out. I did hand write the notes myself but it saved me the time of tracking down the addresses. I did do the addresses myself for my wedding shower but I had a lot more free time then.

 

[Ceila]

I do think I would have a different opinion had it been a baby shower. My first came early,

My mom had everyone do this for my baby shower for my second child and honestly it was a lifesaver. With a newborn and a toddler it made a huge difference in the time it took to get the cards out. I did hand write the notes myself but it saved me the time of tracking down the addresses. I did do the addresses myself for my wedding shower but I had a lot more free time then.

I posted that I'm not in favor of it in response to the wedding shower, but I actually think it's nice for a mom-to-be. My first child came a bit early. While I know that nobody would have cared if my thank-you notes didn't get sent out right away, I would have been grateful for any time-saver at that point!

 

[EMom]

I never realized just how uptight some people are, I guess some people just need something to complain about.
You get a thank you card, but it isn't a paragraph stating how wonderful you are for giving such a wonderful gift. But, if its is, then lets complain that the bride to be didn't address the envelopes herself.
I wonder what it will be next. You weren't sent a notorized thank you, I mean you can never be sure it was actually the bride who wrote it, it could have been one of her cronies, I mean bridesmaids.

You're right. We should just be grateful that someone did us the honor of asking us to buy really nice presents for them.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

I never realized just how uptight some people are, I guess some people just need something to complain about.
You get a thank you card, but it isn't a paragraph stating how wonderful you are for giving such a wonderful gift. But, if its is, then lets complain that the bride to be didn't address the envelopes herself.
I wonder what it will be next. You weren't sent a notorized thank you, I mean you can never be sure it was actually the bride who wrote it, it could have been one of her cronies, I mean bridesmaids.

I guess I am uptight then because I unconsciously expect people to do things the way I do them. I was raised to take some time out of my schedule when someone does something nice for me and write them a personal, detailed note or give them a phone call to thank them. It really doesn't take much time and the other person on the other end feels appreciated. I even do this when people make a donation to a fundraiser I do every year for the local shelter's PetWalk. I'm not saying this to get a pat on the back but I am always a bit surprised when I get a very impersonal thank you or not one at all. I guess I am super old school then.

 

[HM]

I was always very specific about the gift given and what we planned to do with it too. I think that's how it is supposed to be done and it's sad to hear that isn't alwasy the case. I did have a bit of time to actually use some of my gifts before sending out thank yous and then I could actually tell the giver how much I'd enjoyed using their item.

 

[CookieandOatmeal]

My mom had everyone do this for my baby shower for my second child and honestly it was a lifesaver. With a newborn and a toddler it made a huge difference in the time it took to get the cards out. I did hand write the notes myself but it saved me the time of tracking down the addresses. I did do the addresses myself for my wedding shower but I had a lot more free time then.

I may have a totally different opinion if it was a baby shower because I understand how busy moms can be with a newborn and young children. Or for a baby shower, I could understand taking much longer to send a TY card. Any other event, I feel like you definitely have enough time to do it yourself.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

Tacky to be asked to write your own address. And a surprise shower is no excuse - Someone had to issue invitations - the hostess should be able to give you the addresses!

Cannot believe how lazy some brides and moms to be are!

 

[Dizlvr]

You're right. We should just be grateful that someone did us the honor of asking us to buy really nice presents for them.

Yeah that is exactly what I said.

You get a thank you note, but yet there is an issue with it, whether its because its not dripping with appreciation, or because it doesn't include a picture, or god forbid the bride didn't address the envelope herself. That to me means you are the one with the issue, not the bride. Some people are never happy, and some people just like to complain.

 

[Rhombus]

Yeah that is exactly what I said.

You get a thank you note, but yet there is an issue with it, whether its because its not dripping with appreciation, or because it doesn't include a picture, or god forbid the bride didn't address the envelope herself. That to me means you are the one with the issue, not the bride. Some people are never happy, and some people just like to complain.

It means if I'm giving the bride a gift, I sure as hell ain't gonna do her work for her, or otherwise kiss her butt. If that means I have issues, I'm quite content to have them.

 

[EMom]

Yeah that is exactly what I said.

You get a thank you note, but yet there is an issue with it, whether its because its not dripping with appreciation, or because it doesn't include a picture, or god forbid the bride didn't address the envelope herself. That to me means you are the one with the issue, not the bride. Some people are never happy, and some people just like to complain.

No, what it means is the bride could not trouble herself to locate an address (which is probably on some master list for the wedding) and spend 20 second to write it on an envelope. That is too much effort for her. But the same bride expects her guests to shop for and purchase a gift, wrap it, affix a card, dress up and attend a shower (perhaps requiring a babysitter) and spend a chunk of the day oohing and aahing as the bride opens gift after gift from people who were asked to do the same. That amounts to hours of effort. If a guest does all that, it seems that it really should not be too much to ask for the bride to get off her duff and spend two minutes addressing and writing a card. And truly, that is about how long it takes. If the bride is overwhelmed by that effort, then she really shouldn't ask people to put out hours of effort for her.

When I got married, yes, I sent out nice thank you notes. I figured if people took the time and effort to spend their hard earned money on a gift and either send it or attend a shower, then it was not asking too much of me to spend two minutes to properly thank them for that. It seemed the decent thing to do, etiquette notwithstanding. In the grand scheme of things, it seemed to me I was doing very little compared to what they had done for me.

So if I shop for and buy a gift, wrap it, get a card, attend a shower and someone cannot be troubled to send out a thank you card, then YES, I have an issue. My issue is that I don't have time for people who expect a lot from me but won't put out two minutes of effort in return. Unappreciative, entitled people just don't appeal to me.

 

[Dizlvr]

The bride probably didn't plan her shower and probably wasn't the one asking, it was most likely her bridesmaids.
And I didn't say anything about NOT getting a thank you, this is about you getting one but it doesn't quite make YOUR standards of what a thank you to you should be. Yes, that definitely makes YOU the one with the issue.

 

[HM]

The Bride may have had nothing to do with the request as the shower wasn't planned by her. Her wedding party thought they were being helpful.

 

[EMom]

The hostesses hand over a guest list with addresses to the bride after the shower. Easy peasy. It's worked successfully for ages. This isn't brain surgery.

 

[barkley]

I haven't experienced this myself but have heard of it happening on and off for years. I personally don't like the idea b/c (in my opinion) it relays to the guest that the gift recipient just sees the thank you note as an obligation or something to check off on their to-do list vs. an actual expression of thanks/appreciation. I'm not a stickler when it comes to thank you notes-if the person thanks me personally (or by phone) I don't think it's necessary but I do feel it's a nice gesture on a recipients part if I don't have regular communication with them and I've sent something by mail (like graduation gifts).

as for the issue of having addresses-unless invites have been done electronically or by phone then whomever is hosting either has addresses or physical contact w/the guests. the host can offer to provide addresses, and for those they have just physical contact w/ offer to the recipient that they will hand deliver the thank-you notes when they are done (this was the common way thank you notes were done for the many at work showers I attended).

I never saw doing thank you notes as a big hassle-when we married we pre-addressed a thank you note envelope for every wedding invitation we sent out b/c in our experience w/friend's weddings those who couldn't make the wedding usually still sent a gift. when we came back from our honeymoon and went through the list of gifts (that had been made when we opened them) we had only to write out the individual cards and put a stamp on the envelopes (maybe had a dozen envelopes to toss out of close to 100 we had preaddressed). with our wedding/baby showers we got the addresses from those who hosted (and hand delivered to co-workers)-again took very little time.

these days-it seems a thank you note is rarely sent out. I've gotten 2 or 3 for over a dozen graduation gifts over the past 8 years, maybe 50% for showers and weddings. I don't stress over it-BUT I do think it's UBER TACKY when I get a thank you note MONTHS AND MONTHS later (once over a year after the fact) only to have it followed up within the week to an invitation to a subsequent 'gift' oriented event (wedding thank you followed by baby shower invite, graduation thank you followed by engagement shower invite....).

 

[goofyintoronto]

I've seen it done a few times, never crossed my mind some would think its tacky. It was a simple way for the bride-to-be to have everyone's address. Goodness, people complain if they don't receive a thank you note now they complain about taking a minute to write their address on an envelope? Geez.

I completely agree with this! Its not enough that people complain about the lack of thank you cards. Now there's complaints about how the bride-to-be goes about getting the addresses written? holy moly. I honestly dont recall ever receiving a thank you card for a bridal shower. I've usually been given bonboneirs/give-aways, which is in lieu of the thank you card (which im totally fine with btw). Even if I did receive a thank you card, i'd be fine with a generic message. To each their own. But FTR, no i dont think its tacky to do this. I think its quite clever.

 

[Teresa Pitman]

We are doing this for my daughter's baby shower - because we don't have addresses for most of the guests. We did all the inviting by email. And many of her friends only have cellphones (no landlines) so you can't look up their addresses in a phone book or online. Without this, sending out the thank you cards would be very challenging!

 

[goofyintoronto]

Yeah that is exactly what I said.

You get a thank you note, but yet there is an issue with it, whether its because its not dripping with appreciation, or because it doesn't include a picture, or god forbid the bride didn't address the envelope herself. That to me means you are the one with the issue, not the bride. Some people are never happy, and some people just like to complain.

Best post ever! I totally agree.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

If someone handed me the envelope to write my own address on it, in the return address area of the top left corner, I would write from "Lazy *** Bride" with her address on it.