Breastfeeding: Pro or Con? **Update Post #1**

[grafxgirl]

Not mine either. DS was on formula, while my sister's two were BF'd. Her oldest has asthma and allergies, and had ear infections constantly for his first 5 years. He had to have three sets of tubes. Her youngest also had lots of ear infections, though not as many as his brother. My DS had very few ear infections and has always been healthy. As far as intelligence, they are all really bright kids.

I was 23 when I had DS and I had no interest in breastfeeding. I did not want to feel uncomfortable in public and stop taking the meds I needed for chronic headaches(I had to stop for the 9 months I was pregnant) I feel like I bonded really well with DS; we have always been very close.

I am pro-choice, as far as breastfeeding. If you want to, go for it. If you don't, no big deal. Its a personal choice, plain and simple.

My pediatrician told me that that there are many reasons why children get ear infections. One reason is their eustachian tubes are immature. Their tubes are shorter and angled. Another is moms make the mistake of feeding their babies while the baby is laying down (bottle fed and breastfed babies), and that babies should be angled with their heads up to help prevent the milk from entering the tubes. Breastfeeding may decrease the chances of ear infections because it is less irritating to the ear tissue than formula, but it certainly doesn't prevent them 100 percent.

 

[Robindianne]

Regardless of whether one has problems breastfeeding or not, thank goodness we are allowed to choose whether to use our bodies to nurse or not. I'm thankful we don't live in the land of Handmaid's Tale (novel by Margaret Atwood). It's her body to choose; it's your body to choose; it's my body to choose. Keep your judgements off others' bodies.

 

[rie'smom]

Regardless of whether one has problems breastfeeding or not, thank goodness we are allowed to choose whether to use our bodies to nurse or not. I'm thankful we don't live in the land of Handmaid's Tale (novel by Margaret Atwood). It's her body to choose; it's your body to choose; it's my body to choose. Keep your judgements off others' bodies.

Sometimes those who scream pro choice think pro choice does not extend to this choice.
Never interested me enough to try. I can use the excuse the I was on lots of antibiotics and pain meds but in the end if I had had a perfect birthing experience, I still would not have breast fed. My kids were all healthy as babies and are still healthy today at 35, 26, and 16.

 

[FireDancer]

I would have voted "If it isn't my child I really don't care either way", but that wasn't an option. Even if it was mine I would let the mother decide, it is her body after all.

Certain topics like breast feeding, vaccinations, and spanking always turn into either side trying to convince the other that they are right and the other is wrong. Why can't people just accept that people will make different choices and accept them.

As a PP stated, sometimes the pro choice people (choice of anything, not the usual meaning) get indignant when someone makes a choice they don't agree with. Too many people try to nanny everyone else.

 

[palavra]

It's up to the Mom and only the Mom. It's no one else's business IMO and no one should ever feel guilty or be harassed for whatever they do.

I agree! I wanted to breastfeed, and did for about a month even though my preemie had latch problems galore. Then, I got a severe infection from my C-section, and the meds I had to take could not be ingested by my baby, so I had to pump and dump for tw weeks. My supply never really came back, and I breastfed and supplemented with formula until she was nearly 4 months old. After tht, it was straight formula becasue my milk was drying up.

 

[Disney Doll]

I never had kids so I never breast fed. I think if it works for a woman, it's great. I think if it doesn't work for a woman, that's fine too. I don't think any woman should ever be made to feel badly if they can't breast feed for some reason.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

Maybe I'm reading some of the responses incorrectly. It seems that if someone speaks about how hard they tried and how they are so glad that it worked then they are looked at as making others feel guilty or pressuring. I hope I am incorrect.

I bf all 3 of mine in 3 different ways. My first I had to use a nipple shield every time because of the pain. It worked for me and for baby and after I found that little secret we were all set. My second was a pro immediately. My third never got the hang of it so I pumped and bottle fed her breast milk. I worked 50 hours a week and helped DH run his business during this as well. I breast fed all of mine for 6 months, and I am aware that most people bf for longer.

For me this was a HUGE accomplishment. I was a District Manager for restaurants and retail and very successful in my career. I am an only child and never really wanted children. I didn't hold my first baby until I was 27. But for me, this was intensely private and personal. Everyone is different, but I personally believe that my number one priority is my kids. And I (emphasis on the I) feel that with all of the studies done in regards to the pro's of bf I wanted to make sure that my kids got my "mama juice". It did not work conventionally for 2 of mine and it was a big sacrifice to get it done. But for US I feel it was worth it.

I'm still confused by the not letting children run your life thing also? My kids are involved in every aspect of my life. Except for when we go camping and the kids go to bed so mommy and daddy can have adult beverages by the fire. Am I wrong or old fashioned for believing that my kids should come first in my decision making?

One final thing, for those who cannot bf. I do not promote or condone lactation nazis. When my first was born and couldn't latch on properly those women in the maternity hospital made me feel like crap. I cried and cried and cried thinking I was a failure. Little did I know that a $8 piece of plastic would cure my issues. My baby ended up with jaundice and she was STARVING! I supplemented her with formula for the first 4 days and then resumed with just breast milk. And women who cannot for other reasons (cancer, medication) should never be made to feel that way. Nor should women who CHOOSE to not bf.

But when someone comes onto the DIS and asks a question about it, I feel it's important for all of us to share our experiences.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

I think genetics probably plays a bigger role than formula vs nursing.

I agree. My bf dd is much healthier than my ff dd. She'll get a tiny sniffle for less than a day, then she's fine, while every little thing turns into a full-fledged illness in my ff dd, missing school, up all night coughing for weeks at a time, etc.

On the other hand, my older brother was bf, but I was ff back in the 60's. (people gave my mom so much grief for breast-feeding when it wasn't the "in" thing, that she never even tried with me.) However, I am, and have always been much healthier than my brother.

The thing is, there are so many factors that affect a person's health, one cannot just look at one particular ff child being healthier than one particular bf child and claim that the research citing bf as healthier is invalid. Whole wheat bread may be healthier than white bread, but that doesn't mean that every child who eats it will be healthier than every child who doesn't. Too many other factors at play, ditto for infant feeding.

I voted, "Con - I won't even try it".

I have ZERO desire to breastfeed when I have children.

A baby controls your life enough on its own, let alone to add your BREASTS controlling your life! I'm serious. I have no desire to sit there and breastfeed to "bond". I'd much rather cuddle and kiss to bond, and send the baby to dad for feedings if I choose.

I in NO WAY want to depend on a pump when dad is feeding, or when baby is away, or when I am leaking....

I REALLY have no desire to have leaking nipples.

Or chapped, cracked nipples.

I just don't want it. Sorry.

I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with a mom who chooses to do this. Hey, more power to you! I choose not to let my life revolve around my breasts. If a mom chooses to do that, fine! I get it, "breast is best". Okay, good. For me, "formula will be just as good". I was fed Similac and I am alive and well to tell you about it here! My baby will be the same.

I never had chapped, cracked nipples, and the tiny bit of leaking I had was easily contained by a small breast pad inserted into my bra. No biggie, really. As far as depending on a pump, well, I figured I was home on maternity leave for 3 months, I'd be doing most of the feedings, both during the day while hubby was at work, and at night, since he had to get up, drive to work, and work all day and needed a good nights sleep, while I could nap while the baby did. I was much more concerned with making the 99% of the feedings that fell on my shoulders easier on me (no bottles to prepare or wash), than the 1% that I might miss.

I too, have no problem with a mom who makes the other choice. But I have experienced both, and I have to say that in my case (and that of many other breastfeeding moms), you've got it backwards. My breasts didn't control my life when I breast-fed, but bottles came darn close when I formula-fed. I hated washing those things and having to worry about bringing enough supplies with me when I went out with the baby. That really sucked. (no pun intended! )

The other thing moms gloss over is the incredible lack of sleep from breastfeeding. I had a friend who had to stop with her second at 4 months...she was literally walking into walls because he never stopped eating, and she never slept. Completely different from her first son, who she Bf for a year.

Again, my experience was the opposite. Breastfeeding was so easy, just pop baby on, sit and enjoy her beatiful cuddliness while she nursed, then back in the crib and straight back to bed. With my ff dd, there were many more steps involved (but I did love sitting and enjoying her beautiful cuddliness while she ate, too. )

All babies receive antibodies from their mothers through the placenta.

Not antibodies to illnesses the mother is exposed to after the baby is born.

Regardless of whether one has problems breastfeeding or not, thank goodness we are allowed to choose whether to use our bodies to nurse or not. I'm thankful we don't live in the land of Handmaid's Tale (novel by Margaret Atwood). It's her body to choose; it's your body to choose; it's my body to choose. Keep your judgements off others' bodies.

 

[RainbowBrite]

I voted, "Con - I won't even try it".

I have ZERO desire to breastfeed when I have children.

A baby controls your life enough on its own, let alone to add your BREASTS controlling your life! I'm serious. I have no desire to sit there and breastfeed to "bond". I'd much rather cuddle and kiss to bond, and send the baby to dad for feedings if I choose.

I in NO WAY want to depend on a pump when dad is feeding, or when baby is away, or when I am leaking....

I REALLY have no desire to have leaking nipples.

Or chapped, cracked nipples.

I just don't want it. Sorry.

I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with a mom who chooses to do this. Hey, more power to you! I choose not to let my life revolve around my breasts. If a mom chooses to do that, fine! I get it, "breast is best". Okay, good. For me, "formula will be just as good". I was fed Similac and I am alive and well to tell you about it here! My baby will be the same.

I feel the exact same way. I know without a doubt I do not want to breastfeed and I feel sorry for anyone who tries to guilt me into doing so while I'm in the hospital after giving birth.

 

[ccgirl]

Just a general question...for those that said washing the bottles were so inconvenient. Didn't you just put them in the dishwasher? I filled bottles every morning and left them on the counter. Had a little container separated into 4 parts that I put the appropriate amount of powdered formula in. When it was time for a bottle, I put the powdered formula in the bottle filled with water and shook and fed the baby. Easy peasy. I then just put the bottles in the dishwasher to wash.

I guess that just goes to show you...what is best and most convenient for one is not the same for another. It's important to make the decision of what is best for your situation. I truly feel there is no right or wrong here.

Good luck to everyone!

 

[ccgirl]

My friend is having a real hard time with breastfeeding. She is frustrated and I cannot help her. I tried for a few days and had to stop because my son was jaundiced and they told me they needed to measure more accurately.

I've heard EVERY argument known to parenthood, what are your feelings? And with your feelings, what are the long term results?

Not a debate, just personal experience.


**UPDATE:*** I got an email at 1am from my friend who told me it's FINALLY working. The milk is coming in good and the baby is latching and happy! I'm so happy for here, she really wanted it to work and it finally is. Thanks for all of your wisdom and thoughts. It's a debate that will go on as long as women have children, I guess.

Yeah!!! Fabulous news that what she chose is working! That is just the best news. THanks for updating us.

 

[HelenePA]

My friend is having a real hard time with breastfeeding. She is frustrated and I cannot help her. I tried for a few days and had to stop because my son was jaundiced and they told me they needed to measure more accurately.

I've heard EVERY argument known to parenthood, what are your feelings? And with your feelings, what are the long term results?

Not a debate, just personal experience.


**UPDATE:*** I got an email at 1am from my friend who told me it's FINALLY working. The milk is coming in good and the baby is latching and happy! I'm so happy for here, she really wanted it to work and it finally is. Thanks for all of your wisdom and thoughts. It's a debate that will go on as long as women have children, I guess.

Good for her!!

My son was also jaundice blood tests daily for a week when we got out of the hospital Finally at around day 6 we were out of the woods I had thoughts of giving up but the drs and nurses I had were very supportive of me only nursing and not using a bottle. Things have probably changed since your son was born.

 

[cm8]

My friend is having a real hard time with breastfeeding. She is frustrated and I cannot help her. I tried for a few days and had to stop because my son was jaundiced and they told me they needed to measure more accurately.

I've heard EVERY argument known to parenthood, what are your feelings? And with your feelings, what are the long term results?

Not a debate, just personal experience.


**UPDATE:*** I got an email at 1am from my friend who told me it's FINALLY working. The milk is coming in good and the baby is latching and happy! I'm so happy for here, she really wanted it to work and it finally is. Thanks for all of your wisdom and thoughts. It's a debate that will go on as long as women have children, I guess.[/QUOTE]

 

[cabanafrau]

I voted, "Con - I won't even try it".

I have ZERO desire to breastfeed when I have children.

A baby controls your life enough on its own, let alone to add your BREASTS controlling your life! I'm serious. I have no desire to sit there and breastfeed to "bond". I'd much rather cuddle and kiss to bond, and send the baby to dad for feedings if I choose.

I in NO WAY want to depend on a pump when dad is feeding, or when baby is away, or when I am leaking....

I REALLY have no desire to have leaking nipples.

Or chapped, cracked nipples.

I just don't want it. Sorry.

I have ABSOLUTELY no problem with a mom who chooses to do this. Hey, more power to you! I choose not to let my life revolve around my breasts. If a mom chooses to do that, fine! I get it, "breast is best". Okay, good. For me, "formula will be just as good". I was fed Similac and I am alive and well to tell you about it here! My baby will be the same.

Before I had kids I had absolutely zero desire to breastfeed. While I was pregnant with my first and learning all sorts of wonderful (and not so wonderful) things about pregnancy and babycare I became a firm believer that breast is best. Countless studies have shown it and nobody makes a buck off of breastfeeding so that really made me feel there was something more to it.

Still didn't really want to do it, but I felt I should try to give my baby the best I could. DD was a PITA to get going, but it did work out & I was glad.

You've made a lot of assumptions in your post from anecdotal evidence. Most things you're anticipating I never experienced in BFing 2 kids. I find the breasts ruling your life comment ridiculous.

You won't really know until you're in the position to truly make the decision to nurse or not. I can tell you I would have never expected I would ever breastfeed. I'm glad I did for my daughters. They may not make the same decision someday. I'll probably tell them why I chose to do it. They will make their own decision & I will stand back & wait my chance to be the grandma who spoils those babies beyond belief. That will be the choice it's my right to make.

 

[Colleen27]

Just a general question...for those that said washing the bottles were so inconvenient. Didn't you just put them in the dishwasher? I filled bottles every morning and left them on the counter. Had a little container separated into 4 parts that I put the appropriate amount of powdered formula in. When it was time for a bottle, I put the powdered formula in the bottle filled with water and shook and fed the baby. Easy peasy. I then just put the bottles in the dishwasher to wash.

We've never had a dishwasher, so no, we didn't just put them in the dishwasher. Our old house just didn't have enough cabinet space for us to give one up to install a dishwasher, and the new house has such charming historic character that they only way I'd get a dishwasher is if we went with one of the high end models that don't look like a dishwasher (which may happen when we remodel the kitchen, but that's way down the "to do" list).

 

[Mrs.Toad]

Just a general question...for those that said washing the bottles were so inconvenient. Didn't you just put them in the dishwasher? I filled bottles every morning and left them on the counter. Had a little container separated into 4 parts that I put the appropriate amount of powdered formula in. When it was time for a bottle, I put the powdered formula in the bottle filled with water and shook and fed the baby. Easy peasy. I then just put the bottles in the dishwasher to wash.

I guess that just goes to show you...what is best and most convenient for one is not the same for another. It's important to make the decision of what is best for your situation. I truly feel there is no right or wrong here.

Good luck to everyone!

We did use the dishwasher some, for the bottles, but with my first (bf) dd, we used Avent bottles, and Avent said not to wash the nipples in the dishwasher. We found we needed to use a nipple brush to really get the tips clean though, anyway. Even bottles going into the dishwasher needed at least a quick rinse immediately after a feeding, or sometimes a scrub with the bottle brush to get all the milk residue out. My second (ff) dd could only tolerate Dr. Brown's bottles, so there was that extra tube thingy to clean out, and we didn't trust the dishwasher to get up inside of it to clean and rinse it thoroughly, so we washed at least the nipples and tubes by hand using the brushes.

We aren't germaphobes or anything. We never sterilized bottles or boiled the water. Just thought we could reach all the nooks and crannies better by hand.

Even more of a PITA to me than washing bottles, though, was making sure I had enough with me when going out. I did that the easy way, too. I put the right amount of dry powder in a clean, dry bottle, then just added tap water (or bottled if tap not available) to fill and shook it up right before feeding. But that didn't work with Dr. Brown's bottles (can't shake them), so I'd have to use another container to mix it up. Really not "that" bad, but I still had to make sure I brought enough for as long as I intended to be out, plus one extra bottle in case I got stuck somewhere (car breakdown, etc). For me, since I had previously breastfed successfully and knew how much easier it was to leave the house with nothing but diapers, wipes and a change of clothes, (and to have nothing at all to wash, not even to drop into the dishwasher), it was especially annoying to have to do all that.

Like you said, though, people have different perceptions of convenience. If someone really thinks that breastfeeding is going to be that difficult, then it's probably not for her, but since my experience is the opposite, I will always share my thoughts, rather than leave exaggerations and assumptions out there unopposed.

Before I had kids I had absolutely zero desire to breastfeed. While I was pregnant with my first and learning all sorts of wonderful (and not so wonderful) things about pregnancy and babycare I became a firm believer that breast is best. Countless studies have shown it and nobody makes a buck off of breastfeeding so that really made me feel there was something more to it.

Still didn't really want to do it, but I felt I should try to give my baby the best I could. DD was a PITA to get going, but it did work out & I was glad.

You've made a lot of assumptions in your post from anecdotal evidence. Most things you're anticipating I never experienced in BFing 2 kids. I find the breasts ruling your life comment ridiculous.

You won't really know until you're in the position to truly make the decision to nurse or not. I can tell you I would have never expected I would ever breastfeed. I'm glad I did for my daughters. They may not make the same decision someday. I'll probably tell them why I chose to do it. They will make their own decision & I will stand back & wait my chance to be the grandma who spoils those babies beyond belief. That will be the choice it's my right to make.

Very nice post, cabanafrau. I also once thought I would never breastfeed. I remember telling a friend (when we were around 26 or 27) "I don't want some baby sucking on my ****s". My friend was appalled and said "it's not some baby, it would be your baby." She reminded me of the conversation many times when we got older and both breastfed our kids, especially when I went to great lengths trying to bf my second. I realize now how ridiculous I sounded and I'm so glad I changed my mind.

 

[rie'smom]

Before I had kids I had absolutely zero desire to breastfeed. While I was pregnant with my first and learning all sorts of wonderful (and not so wonderful) things about pregnancy and babycare I became a firm believer that breast is best. Countless studies have shown it and nobody makes a buck off of breastfeeding so that really made me feel there was something more to it.

Still didn't really want to do it, but I felt I should try to give my baby the best I could. DD was a PITA to get going, but it did work out & I was glad.

You've made a lot of assumptions in your post from anecdotal evidence. Most things you're anticipating I never experienced in BFing 2 kids. I find the breasts ruling your life comment ridiculous.

You won't really know until you're in the position to truly make the decision to nurse or not. I can tell you I would have never expected I would ever breastfeed. I'm glad I did for my daughters. They may not make the same decision someday. I'll probably tell them why I chose to do it. They will make their own decision & I will stand back & wait my chance to be the grandma who spoils those babies beyond belief. That will be the choice it's my right to make.

Actually, lingerie companies make a good deal of money from nursing bras as do the companies who make leakage pads, nipple creams, pumps, etc.

 

[Magpie]

My friend is having a real hard time with breastfeeding. She is frustrated and I cannot help her. I tried for a few days and had to stop because my son was jaundiced and they told me they needed to measure more accurately.

I've heard EVERY argument known to parenthood, what are your feelings? And with your feelings, what are the long term results?

Not a debate, just personal experience.


**UPDATE:*** I got an email at 1am from my friend who told me it's FINALLY working. The milk is coming in good and the baby is latching and happy! I'm so happy for here, she really wanted it to work and it finally is. Thanks for all of your wisdom and thoughts. It's a debate that will go on as long as women have children, I guess.

Hurray! Congrats to your friend!

And congrats to you for being there for her.

Motherhood is by far the most nerve-wracking, exhilarating, and exhausting project I've ever embarked on in my life. I wish your friend all the best, and a baby who sleeps through the night.

 

[ccgirl]

We've never had a dishwasher, so no, we didn't just put them in the dishwasher. Our old house just didn't have enough cabinet space for us to give one up to install a dishwasher, and the new house has such charming historic character that they only way I'd get a dishwasher is if we went with one of the high end models that don't look like a dishwasher (which may happen when we remodel the kitchen, but that's way down the "to do" list).

OMG!!! I am so sorry. Never dawned on me about the homes that don't have dishwashers. Sorry about that.

We did use the dishwasher some, for the bottles, but with my first (bf) dd, we used Avent bottles, and Avent said not to wash the nipples in the dishwasher. We found we needed to use a nipple brush to really get the tips clean though, anyway. Even bottles going into the dishwasher needed at least a quick rinse immediately after a feeding, or sometimes a scrub with the bottle brush to get all the milk residue out. My second (ff) dd could only tolerate Dr. Brown's bottles, so there was that extra tube thingy to clean out, and we didn't trust the dishwasher to get up inside of it to clean and rinse it thoroughly, so we washed at least the nipples and tubes by hand using the brushes.

We aren't germaphobes or anything. We never sterilized bottles or boiled the water. Just thought we could reach all the nooks and crannies better by hand.

Even more of a PITA to me than washing bottles, though, was making sure I had enough with me when going out. I did that the easy way, too. I put the right amount of dry powder in a clean, dry bottle, then just added tap water (or bottled if tap not available) to fill and shook it up right before feeding. But that didn't work with Dr. Brown's bottles (can't shake them), so I'd have to use another container to mix it up. Really not "that" bad, but I still had to make sure I brought enough for as long as I intended to be out, plus one extra bottle in case I got stuck somewhere (car breakdown, etc). For me, since I had previously breastfed successfully and knew how much easier it was to leave the house with nothing but diapers, wipes and a change of clothes, (and to have nothing at all to wash, not even to drop into the dishwasher), it was especially annoying to have to do all that.
went to great lengths trying to bf my second. I realize now how ridiculous I sounded and I'm so glad I changed my mind.

Yup....I had the Dr. Brown bottles too and put them right in the dishwasher. I started washing them by hand and tried one in the dishwasher and it got just as clean. I also shook them. I just didn't put the middle piece in until after I shook it.

I do not consider my self pro-BFing(breastfeeding) or pro-BFing(bottlefeeding). I consider my self pro feeding the baby, period.

OP - you sound like such an incredibly supportive friend. The new mom is so very lucky to have you. I'm so happy for her things worked out the way she wanted.

 

[cabanafrau]

Actually, lingerie companies make a good deal of money from nursing bras as do the companies who make leakage pads, nipple creams, pumps, etc.

Are you trying to say that those companies are out funding studies to show nursing is best in an effort to boost sales? Gotta say, that would surprise me.

I am aware of formula companies doing so however.