Black-tie requested…wedding apparel issues. 2nd update -post 137

[HopperFan]

Pretty common here to have a gap. Churches don’t have night ceremonies and most want a night reception.

Rarely do you see a full turn out. Many just go to reception. Mostly close family, friends and the same old people that attend everything at the church. Lol

We got married in a church at night. But of all the weddings we have been invited to the last 15 years ... only one was in a church. They provided busing from the church direct to the venue with no "gap" in time. It can be done with good planning.

I have never in my life experienced anyone going to just the reception. In any of my circles that would be a no go unacceptable thing to do. I'm from the NE and live in the SE.

Once went to wedding for a friend who was a teacher - invited a couple special students to wedding but not reception. That is understandable.

 

[kymom99]

We got married in a church at night. But of all the weddings we have been invited to the last 15 years ... only one was in a church. They provided busing from the church direct to the venue with no "gap" in time. It can be done with good planning.

I have never in my life experienced anyone going to just the reception. In any of my circles that would be a no go unacceptable thing to do. I'm from the NE and live in the SE.

Once went to wedding for a friend who was a teacher - invited a couple special students to wedding but not reception. That is understandable.

I got married in a catholic church with reception immediately following. Twice.

 

[sk!mom]

Pretty common here to have a gap. Churches don’t have night ceremonies and most want a night reception.

Rarely do you see a full turn out. Many just go to reception. Mostly close family, friends and the same old people that attend everything at the church. Lol

Never said that it isn’t common to some just that it was unlikely that I would devote that much time, two locations, and a necessary wardrobe change unless the couple was family. And I love weddings.

I would never attend the reception only. I have attended weddings and then stayed only long enough at the reception to congratulate the couple. Usually in those cases it was because the reception was too packed, lacked enough seating or a seating chart to get everyone seated comfortably, or skimpy food so that we felt the need to go eat before long.

I’ve only been to two church weddings in recent memory. In my area or maybe among those I know well enough to be invited to a wedding, venues are the going thing. A venue with usually multiple choices for ceremony and reception in one location.

In my DD’s case, renting a venue for the reception would have cost the same as having the entire wedding at the venue. DD wanted an outdoor sunset wedding, followed by cocktail hour in a separate area at the venue followed by an indoor dinner dance at the same venue.

As I said, do what you want. It’s too much money not to.

 

[Mrs.AMC]

A black tie attire request for a 1pm wedding is honestly laughable. Wear something nice to the wedding - please tell me the ceremony is inside! Save the gown for the reception.

I suppose.
Or, it could be like my niece who asked everyone to come to her wedding last year in formal attire because she was tired of being in sweats and thought everyone else would find it fun dress up too. And it sort of was. So she opted to have an all out formal wedding and reception, held back to back in the same location. It started in the late afternoon.
I didn't find it laughable.
Maybe there's a reason for the attire request?

 

[mjkacmom]

I got married in a catholic church with reception immediately following. Twice.

And getting married in a Catholic Church usually means you get married in your church, with specified hours for weddings. I would’ve loved getting married at the venue, but that’s a no-no.

 

[Adelle Dazeem]

I suppose.
Or, it could be like my niece who asked everyone to come to her wedding last year in formal attire because she was tired of being in sweats and thought everyone else would find it fun dress up too. And it sort of was. So she opted to have an all out formal wedding and reception, held back to back in the same location. It started in the late afternoon.
I didn't find it laughable.
Maybe there's a reason for the attire request?

Late afternoon (4-5pm) going into the evening is not as egregious. Did the invites state "black tie attire"? Formal weddings can start at anytime, but specifically requesting black tie for guests in the early afternoon is just silly.

 

[Mrs.AMC]

Late afternoon (4-5pm) going into the evening is not as egregious. Did the invites state "black tie attire"? Formal weddings can start at anytime, but specifically requesting black tie for guests in the early afternoon is just silly.

She sent an email and said we are all ditching our sweats and donning our fancy gowns and tuxes. That’s us non-society folk speak for black tie. You know the type, the type that like to break societal rules.

She’d be be very happy to be called silly too. Instead of a father and bride first dance she had a father and bride softball toss on the dance floor. Her in her wedding gown and all. Playing catch with my brother who coached her in softball for 20 years. It’s what she wanted instead of a dance. Same with getting all dressed up. But you know what, no guest was asked to leave if they didn’t get dressed up. Her older brother didn’t. Not his thing. So there was people in sequins and people in regular dresses. And we all fit in

 

[NotUrsula]

Pretty common here to have a gap. Churches don’t have night ceremonies and most want a night reception.

Rarely do you see a full turn out. Many just go to reception. Mostly close family, friends and the same old people that attend everything at the church. Lol

Depends on the church. Catholic churches commonly have evening ceremonies on Fridays; in fact, they are the most popular option where I grew up, in predominantly Catholic S. Louisiana. Our church ceremony was at 7 pm. The reception followed directly afterward at a venue about 2 miles away.

IME, attending the reception but not the ceremony is considered very poor form, unless you have a rock-solid excuse like being at work (and for which you had notified the host in advance and apologized profusely.)

 

[_19disnA]

I have never seen any issues when someone is only able to attend the reception. Various examples have been given in prior posts of why that might be necessary. Honestly, who is even keeping track of who was/wasn't at the wedding to pass judgement on what some other family is doing? Guests at the ceremony likely won't even know at least 1/2 of the other people who are there (most everyone knows the bride OR the groom but usually not both) and probably wouldn't know friends/neighbors/co-workers of the bride/groom even if you were a relative.

 

[GoingSince1990]

I recently went to a BEACH WEDDING in MEXICO where black tie was required for both the ceremony and reception. And I am still seething that the bride’s priority was for the photos to look a bit more polished on Instagram as opposed to the comfort of her guests. After pressuring people to fly thousands of miles and use up vacation time, the least the happy couple could do should be to let their guests dress comfortably. OK, rant over.

 

[MamaLema]

I think you should wear what you feel comfortable with.

I’m wearing a formal long ball gown to my son’s wedding next month. I know the church has good AC. After that I might be hot but I love my dress and I’m willing to suffer for fashion

 

[clh2]

OP here…suffice it to say…the Bride has spoken (via the info that is finally on their website.)

Church info clearly states: Black tie semi-formal. please see FAQ for more guidance.

The FAQ states:
Is there a dress code?

Yes. The dress code is Black Tie Semi-Formal. Ladies should wear floor-length dresses or jumpsuits and men should wear dark suits and ties. Renting a tux is optional, but do plan on dressing up!

Rent the Runway has great options for short-term gown rentals that are easy to get shipped to you and shipped back and Amazon also has plenty of options. Please contact ”bride” with any questions.

I would love to skip the service. But I’m not sure that is possible, for many reasons. For me to be in a long dress for a 1pm wedding, I will need to be in that dress by 11 am. Uggh. I can only hope it isn’t humid and or hot.

 

[_19disnA]

The plan for this wedding is so complicated they need to have a website and FAQ section?............LOL. Sounds like good reason to not attend.

 

[HopperFan]

OP here…suffice it to say…the Bride has spoken (via the info that is finally on their website.)

Church info clearly states: Black tie semi-formal. please see FAQ for more guidance.

The FAQ states:
Is there a dress code?





I would love to skip the service. But I’m not sure that is possible, for many reasons. For me to be in a long dress for a 1pm wedding, I will need to be in that dress by 11 am. Uggh. I can only hope it isn’t humid and or hot.

Bridezilla

 

[kymom99]

Black tie semi formal sounds contradictory to me, but what do I know?

 

[punkin]

Black tie semi formal sounds contradictory to me, but what do I know?

You're right. Black tie is formal not semi formal. And it's not appropriate in a 1 pm church service. And semi formal is not floor length gowns. And what on earth is a jumpsuit in this context? I think the bride just wants to play dress up.

 

[focusondisney]

Black tie semi formal sounds contradictory to me, but what do I know?

Emily Post lists semi formal & black tie separate. Sounds to me like something made up recently, if not by the bride herself. Semi formal doesn’t call for a long gown. And even for black tie, Emily Post states dressy cocktail dress.

Sounds like bridezilla to me too, or at the very least, pretentious.

 

[Jennasis]

Jumpsuit you say?





Come on...DO IT. You'd be my hero!

 

[sk!mom]

Black tie and semiformal are contradictory so that dress code is very unclear. Geez...this bride.

 

[HopperFan]

Jumpsuit you say?

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Come on...DO IT. You'd be my hero!

Honestly you may have solved a problem that I would have IF I were to even go ...

Last wedding I was at Mother of Bride wore this cool "jumpsuit" pants dress. And it was semi-formal we were all dressed very nice, suits. That would be very nice to wear in this situation!

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