Biscuit's Grand Adventure | An epic tale three decades in the making!

[brookelizabeth]

Not that’s funny! My father in law and his buddies eat breakfast at Perkins EVERY Saturday. One day, they had a new cook and they kept sending their bacon back, requesting “extra crispy”. Finally, my father in law went back into the kitchen and showed the cook how to make bacon the way they liked it.

That is AWESOME.

Uh-oh on the blister and the invalid Park Hopper! I have to say, I'm looking forward to the adventure (misadventure) at Coral Reef...I forsee something really not good happening with this...! But, then again, what has gone RIGHT so far?

Tracy's necklace sounds really cute! I wonder if they still sell something similar...

 

[Disneymom3304]

WOW you really know how to keep a person hanging on! I keep coming back. It took me 3 days but I am finally caught up and can't wait to read how the rest of this honeymoon plays out. Also can't wait to read about your up coming trip too. Disney as adults (well as close as we can get to adults) and then Disney with kids so very different and so wonderful too!

 

[GBShorts]

I think I am quite possibly the latest joiner EVER to a trip report, but here I am!

I had one of THOSE days where there's nothing to do but read trip reports and live vicariously through people...

I just sat here and read all your installments. I can't wait to read the next one-thanks for sharing your trip with us!

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Uh-oh on the blister and the invalid Park Hopper! I have to say, I'm looking forward to the adventure (misadventure) at Coral Reef...I forsee something really not good happening with this...! But, then again, what has gone RIGHT so far?

It's such a riot when we tell our Disneymoon story because people always think we're exagerating. Unfortunately, in this case, truth was stranger than fiction.

Tracy's necklace sounds really cute! I wonder if they still sell something similar...

I'm not sure...I'll try to snap a photo of it and add it to my next post.

WOW you really know how to keep a person hanging on! I keep coming back. It took me 3 days but I am finally caught up and can't wait to read how the rest of this honeymoon plays out. Also can't wait to read about your up coming trip too. Disney as adults (well as close as we can get to adults) and then Disney with kids so very different and so wonderful too!

Glad to have you here! I just can not WAIT until I experience Disney as a daddy.

I think I am quite possibly the latest joiner EVER to a trip report, but here I am!

I had one of THOSE days where there's nothing to do but read trip reports and live vicariously through people...

I just sat here and read all your installments. I can't wait to read the next one-thanks for sharing your trip with us!

I've had those days myself! That's some crazy reading in one sitting! (I'm at 98 pages in MS word.) I'm glad you enjoyed it! I always update on Mondays and Thursdays. (Knocking on Wood)

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Hi GB, just wanted you to know I am still here and still reading. Great job as always. Life just got a bit busy. Starting new job tomorrow after reorg.

I'll be here tomorrow night for the next installment!

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Hi GB, just wanted you to know I am still here and still reading. Great job as always. Life just got a bit busy. Starting new job tomorrow after reorg.

I'll be here tomorrow night for the next installment!

Hey Marita! Thanks for reading along. I hope you have a great day tomorrow. I know starting a new position is always tough. It was quite an adjustment when I moved from Tier II Tech to Public Safety/CNS. I'm glad you weathered the layoffs. I you ever have to call in an after hours outage, I may get to give you a shoutout.

 

[chicagoshannon]

It's Monday! That means another episode. Can't wait!

 

[GreatBiscuit]

It's Monday! That means another episode. Can't wait!

On the way!

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Episode 30 - What do you mean my Park Hopper's invalid?

Previously on Biscuit's Grand Adventure, blisters were discovered, souvenirs were purchased, shows were enjoyed and the skies threatened rain. When last we left our weary travelers, Tracy and I had just exited the gates of the Disney MGM Studios. We bore to the left and descended the ramp to the boat dock.

At the time, this particular mode of transport was either unknown or deemed undesirable. When we arrived at the dock, we were the only ones there. For some time I wondered if I had mixed up the instructions or if the boats were perhaps not running. Eventually we were joined by another couple and figured if we WERE lost, at least we'd have company.

(Speaking of Lost, is anyone else out there wondering what happened to Rose and Bernard? But, I digress.)

We soon heard the happy toots of a ferry heading our way. No, Tinkerbell was not flatulent, it was a yellow Friendship coming in to dock. When the boat pulled up, they began by unloading the passengers. (Maybe 5 or 6.) They then allowed those of us waiting on the dock to board. (All four of us.)

I was happy to be seated again as my feet were beginning to protest more and more as time went by. (Or as we say in Texas, "Muh dogs were a barkin.") We soon set out at a remarkably slow pace through a nifty little canal. I don't know if they've readdressed the policy of the cruising speed for these things, but I think I could have walked to Epcot and back in the time it took us to make this journey. BUT, given the state of my hooves at the time, sitting in a ridiculously slow moving boat was actually a welcome rest,

About the time we were half way to the Swan and Dolphin, the rain started. By the time we were up to them, it was torrential. I was then EXTREMELY glad to be inside the cabin, dry and seated. This particular band of rain was fast moving and by the time we docked at the Boardwalk it had passed.

When we got out at the Boardwalk to change boats, I was in complete shock. I had NO IDEA that any of this were here. The Boardwalk, Yacht Club and Beach Club were completely unknown to me. I didn't even know what any of it was called, much less what any of it was. We had a few moments before the next boat arrive to bring us on the remainder of our journey. We walked about a bit and tried to take in all the different sights and sounds. (Not possible to do in a few minutes time.)







Soon there were more toots being lofted in our general direction, and it was time to hop into the next Friendship. We got to see some more of the different resorts as we pulled away and headed toward the Epcot International Gateway.



We lucked out again in that it rained on the way and was done by the time we arrived. Hey, maybe our luck is changing! We soon docked, with this portion of the journey being MUCH quicker than the first. Tracy was the first one through the turnstiles and when I tried to go through, I got a red light. The dreaded, the feared, the cursed red light.

The cast member then said I'm sorry sir, this ticket is invalid. Come again? I advised the nice lady that this was a four day park hopper and I was only on my second day of hopping. I then showed her my hand stamp from MGM (which was more of a UV smudge.) She called over a supervisor of some sort, who examined the ticket, examined my hand, declared us legal and advise us that we needed to go STRAIGHT to guest services, get a new ticket and then return to have it scanned.

Joy.

Okay, how do I get there?

We headed into the general direction they indicated and immediately ignored his instructions. Our first stop was NOT in fact guest services, it was the gift shop just inside the park. (World Traveler now, not sure if that was what it was called then or not.) It was here that Tracy found the elusive souvenir spoon and I found a lovely Mickey Keychain which I used until it literally disintegrated.

When the Epcot SWAT Team failed to storm the store, we figured we were pretty safe from chastisement. Yet, in the interest of wanting to come back the next day, we did begin our march towards guest services. When we finally made our way in, I handed my faulty ticket to the cast member. I was prepared to lay out the woes and horrors we had gone through over the past couple of days, but fortunately, it wasnt necessary. Within a couple of minutes, he had it fixed, wished us well and off we went. It was too easy. Well, maybe I was wrong about being wrong about our luck changing.

At that time the American Express office was in the entrance court outside of the main gate. We had our hands dutifully re-stamped and headed over to get our replacements. After advising the lady of our needs and giving her our AmEx confirmation number we had a seat. And waited I had images of time share offices dancing through my head. Eventually we were called back up and handed an envelope with our replacement cheques, each of which had to be signed. Then there was a series of paperwork that also had to be signed.

Finally, we were able to high tail it out of there and headed back into the park. My new friend in guest services had gotten the job done and I was able to enter with no problems. We had missed our Priority Seating window, but I figured we could at least try to still get in.


A nice CM greeted us just inside the gates and offered to take our pics with my camera. HOORAY! Things ARE getting better.














After the obligatory gawk at the golf ball's underside we headed to the Living Seas Pavilion with all due haste. I see myself now, walking arm and arm with my love. Happy to be at my favorite place and anxious to treat her to the special lunch she deserved. If I ever get my hands on a flux capacitor and a DeLorean DMC 12, I'm setting the time date to July 18th, 1997, running it up to 88 miles per hour, and when I arrive in the past, I'm going to jump out of the bushes in front of the Living Seas just as my younger self is come up the walk and scream "Unclean, Unclean, Run Away! Run Away!"

Yep...that's what I'm gonna do alright.

Coming up on Episode 31 My Worst WDW Memory of All Time

 

[chicagoshannon]

Great update! Glad the ticket got straightened out quickly!

As for Rose and Bernard. I have no idea. I hope we find out this season what happened to them but I"m not holding my breath. Maybe they were killed by the flamind arrows. The actress that plays Rose is on a show on ABC Family called Secret Life of the American Teenager.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

When we got out at the Boardwalk to change boats, I was in complete shock. I had NO IDEA that any of this were here. The Boardwalk, Yacht Club and Beach Club were completely unknown to me. I didn’t even know what any of it was called, much less what all it was. We had a few moments before the next boat arrive to bring us on the remainder of our journey. We walked about a bit and tried to take in all the different sights and sounds. (Not possible to do in a few minutes time.)

I remember working at Epcot in 1995, working on the boat schedules, LOL.
BW was still under construction.

If I ever get my hands on a flux capacitor and a DeLorean DMC 12, I’m setting the time date to July 18th, 1997, running it up to 88 miles per hour, and when I arrive in the past, I’m going to jump out of the bushes in front of the Living Seas just as my younger self is come up the walk and scream “Unclean, Unclean, Run Away! Run Away!”

Yep…that’s what I’m gonna do alright.

Now, I totally get the returning to the past thing. Happy times, all that.

But my feeble brain does NOT remember the "unclean" reference.
Great update as always, I love your reports.
Cant wait to hear what happens this summer



Coming up on Episode 31 “My Worst WDW Memory of All Time”

Can't wait!

 

[PrincessV]

I don’t know if they’ve readdressed the policy of the cruising speed for these things,

That's a negative GB. And...

but I think I could have walked to Epcot and back in the time it took us to make this journey.

Ye-ep!

When we got out at the Boardwalk to change boats, I was in complete shock. I had NO IDEA that any of this were here. The Boardwalk, Yacht Club and Beach Club were completely unknown to me. I didn’t even know what any of it was called, much less what all it was.

I miss that element of surprise, finding something or some place completely new at WDW!

If I ever get my hands on a flux capacitor and a DeLorean DMC 12, I’m setting the time date to July 18th, 1997, running it up to 88 miles per hour, and when I arrive in the past, I’m going to jump out of the bushes in front of the Living Seas just as my younger self is come up the walk and scream “Unclean, Unclean, Run Away! Run Away!”

Okay, I'm the flux capacitor mention, but of just what was "unclean"!!!!

 

[Kimberly815]

(Speaking of Lost, is anyone else out there wondering what happened to Rose and Bernard? But, I digress.)

I ask myself this same question every week! I am dying to know!

The Boardwalk, Yacht Club and Beach Club were completely unknown to me. I didn’t even know what any of it was called, much less what all it was. We had a few moments before the next boat arrive to bring us on the remainder of our journey. We walked about a bit and tried to take in all the different sights and sounds. (Not possible to do in a few minutes time.)

I love this area, but have not been able to spend enough time there to really enjoy it yet! Someday I will have to stay at one of those resorts.

If I ever get my hands on a flux capacitor and a DeLorean DMC 12, I’m setting the time date to July 18th, 1997, running it up to 88 miles per hour, and when I arrive in the past, I’m going to jump out of the bushes in front of the Living Seas just as my younger self is come up the walk and scream “Unclean, Unclean, Run Away! Run Away!”

Oh no!

 

[jcc0621]

I don’t know if they’ve readdressed the policy of the cruising speed for these things, but I think I could have walked to Epcot and back in the time it took us to make this journey.

Nope...it's still a three hour tour!

When we finally made our way in, I handed my faulty ticket to the cast member. I was prepared to lay out the woes and horrors we had gone through over the past couple of days, but fortunately, it wasn’t necessary. Within a couple of minutes, he had it fixed, wished us well and off we went. It was too easy. Well, maybe I was wrong about being wrong about our luck changing.

Glad they got that straightened out

At that time the American Express office was in the entrance court outside of the main gate. We had our hands dutifully re-stamped and headed over to get our replacements. After advising the lady of our needs and giving her our AmEx confirmation number we had a seat. And waited… I had images of time share offices dancing through my head. Eventually we were called back up and handed an envelope with our replacement cheques, each of which had to be signed. Then there was a series of paperwork that also had to be signed.

And this!

I see myself now, walking arm and arm with my love. Happy to be at my favorite place and anxious to treat her to the special lunch she deserved. If I ever get my hands on a flux capacitor and a DeLorean DMC 12, I’m setting the time date to July 18th, 1997, running it up to 88 miles per hour, and when I arrive in the past, I’m going to jump out of the bushes in front of the Living Seas just as my younger self is come up the walk and scream “Unclean, Unclean, Run Away! Run Away!”

Yep…that’s what I’m gonna do alright.

Coming up on Episode 31 “My Worst WDW Memory of All Time”

 

[whogirl'smom]

"toots of a ferry"

I can't even imagine what's in store in the next chapter!

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Great update! Glad the ticket got straightened out quickly!

As for Rose and Bernard. I have no idea. I hope we find out this season what happened to them but I"m not holding my breath. Maybe they were killed by the flamind arrows. The actress that plays Rose is on a show on ABC Family called Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Interesting..I had wondered about the flaming arrows.

That's a negative GB. And...Ye-ep!

Well, I guess if I need an nice quite rest but don't want to go to back to the resort, I know where to go.

I miss that element of surprise, finding something or some place completely new at WDW!

It was a pretty cool surprise.

I ask myself this same question every week! I am dying to know!

I swear I have a love/hate relationship with that show. I never watched it before I started working the night & weekend shif a year ago. On Saturdays, we used to sometimes go hours between calls, so after watching the first two episodes online, I bought Seasons 1-4 on DVD. It's a LOT harder to have to wait a week or two between episodes! Drives me crazy sometimes.

I love this area, but have not been able to spend enough time there to really enjoy it yet! Someday I will have to stay at one of those resorts.

I hope to spend some time here this summer. IF the little pastries will comply.

Nope...it's still a three hour tour!

You know the captains of those things just have to be DYING to slam down the accelerator just ONE TIME. And that's why Biscuit could never drive a Disney Boat, Bus, Monorail, Tram or other vehicle in which I was in charge of maintaining a specified velocity.

Glad they got that straightened out

Me too. Apprently it was a fairly common occurance because he smacked about 3 keys, slid the card through some funkadelic reader and said "You're good to go".

"toots of a ferry"

I'm glad I'm not the only one who laughed at that. (I laugh at my own jokes pretty much all day long. Which can be bad. Cause I'm a snorter.)

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Can't wait!

For some reason this was all I could quote from your post. But as to the Boat Schedules, I don't know that I'd avertise that one! I'm guessing the speed limits are a combination of safety / wake control to prevent erosion. Is sounds good anyway. If that doesn't work, we can always just blame global warming. In fact in the interest of reducing carbon emissions, maybe they could hitch up some horses to the boats, then the horses can walk along the top of the canal and tow the boats around. It certainly wouln't be any slower than it is now!

 

[burly]

Been to Coral Reef twice. Once yum. once not so yum.
can't wait

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Been to Coral Reef twice. Once yum. once not so yum.
can't wait

Food was okay. Not fantastic, not bad, but okay.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Episode 31 My Worst WDW Memory of All Time

I have a confession to make; I hate motivational posters. Not just dislike, but despise. I’m not sure what it is about them that strikes such an offensive chord. I simply find them hokey, aloof, and myopic. We have several in our office featuring skydivers, mountain climbers, sail boats, golf courses, the list goes on.

I’m thinking if you really want to motivate folks, instead of shelling out several hundred bucks on framed posters, can we not just run over to Sam’s and buy a jug of Now N Laters? Maybe sling a few over the walls of our cubicles like a ringmaster rewarding a troupe of performing seals? I don’t know about you, but I’d find that considerably more effective at boosting my morale than staring at pictures of people doing activities I don’t have the physique to accomplish, in places I don’t have the funding to visit, above captions that are sappier than a Lifetime Movie Network marathon.

If I made motivational posters, they would have practical things on them like a guy sitting on the pavement with the caption “Do the job you were hired for and we won’t throw you out the door.” HR friendly?, Maybe not, but it would certainly be an improvement.

The only thing more annoying than motivational posters is a “Team Building” exercise. We have the ever popular “fall backwards and let people catch you” routine. Or there is my personal favorite, “Team Shirt Day.” Seriously? Is this really necessary? Can we not just give a friendly wave and maybe get a designated farting area so one of my coworkers can stop giving us all nose bleeds with his secondhand flatulence every time his wife makes tuna casserole?

Why this incessant rant on office practices? I have no idea. It’s just something I’ve got to say today. Time to move on.

Previously on Biscuit’s Grand Adventure, slow boats were boarded, rain fell freely, and park hoppers refused to hop. Before we get started, there are two points concerning the previous chapter. First, I wish to apologize for the quantity of grammatical errors contained in the original version that I posted. I was appalled when I read back over it and found over a dozen. I edited these, but unfortunately, it was after most comments had already been posted.

Second, I need to explain a phrase from the final paragraph, “Unclean, Unclean, Run Away! Run Away!” There are two references here, one is to the ancient Jewish law requiring those with leprosy to cry out a warning of “UNCLEAN!” when they were in streets. Anyone who heard it would immediately turn and go the other way. The second ‘Run Away! Run Away!” was an allusion to Monty Python. Hopefully that will clear up the confusion as I was not attempting to comment on the sanitary conditions of the restaurant.

Now that I’ve filled an entire page with fairly meaningless drivel, I supposed I should hurry up and get going. While in transit to the Coral Reef, I was a bit concerned about having overrun our priority seating time. I needn’t have worried however, for the lobby was completely empty when we arrived. Say what you will about the dining plan, but one thing we can all agree on. It was much easier to tour casually back in the day. You HAVE to map out “The Plan” to do Disney Dining.

We were soon shown to a table and I have to say, it is still the fanciest restaurant we’ve ever eaten in. Soon the menus were delivered and I immediately began scouring over mine. Tracy looked for a few moments and said “This place seems really expensive, are you sure you wouldn’t rather eat somewhere else?” I gave the customary head jerk/grunt that we men make when selecting the cut of flesh we intend to devour. She then looked some more and said “They only have one thing that isn’t seafood”. Me -“Oh, good, go ahead and order that.” After a few more moments Tracy replied “I really don’t want to pay $20 for a piece of chicken”. Me – “Oh, okay”. Tracy – “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather go find something else?” Me – “Hey waiter, does this come with any sides?”

We then ordered and Tracy ordered just a small salad, while I selected a pasta and shrimp dish that at $17 seemed to be the most reasonable item I could locate. She was quiet the rest of the meal and I figured she was just a bit tired.

Have you ever seen those cartoons where a character makes a pile of explosives to get another character? Then he leaves a trail of gunpowder so it can be lit from a safe distance. And then the other cartoon character sneaks up and sticks the gunpowder barrel in the first guy’s pants and then lights the trail of powder. And no matter where the guy runs, he can’t escape because he’s leaving a trail of burning gunpowder behind him? You know that the barrel is going to blow, and that the guy will be running past the pile of explosives when it happens. Well, when I walked out of Coral Reef, I was walking towards a pile of TNT with a keg of gunpowder stuck in my britches and the trail behind me was lit.

As you recall from earlier episodes, I had already had a nice, soul cleaning release of pent up emotion earlier in the week. Tracy had not yet had a chance to vent her frustrations. You females in the audience already know what I did wrong. When Tracy asked me twice if I wanted to try someplace else, she was really saying “I don’t want to eat here, take me somewhere else.” Which I didn’t do. Why? To quote Jeff Foxworthy “Cause she didn’t ask me to.”

I had not yet been married long enough to learn that women communicate on a much different level. In fact I’m not even sure if it’s in the same time/space continuum. Having now been married close to twelve years, I would know she wanted to leave without her having to say a word. I know what she likes to eat and what she doesn’t, and I would have been able to tell from reading the menu whether or not she’d enjoy it. I’ve also learned to read between the lines (a LITTLE bit) and can usually pick up on what she is “saying without saying.” Also, Tracy has learned the fine art of spelling things out for me in slow and simple words, which makes our lives much easier.

But on this day, in that hour, I was blissfully unaware that I stood guilty of any transgression. Until, upon walking out, I headed right towards The Land and she headed left towards the exit. “Honey, you’re going the wrong way.” “Thanks Magellan, but I got this.” Now I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I’m trainable. And I had long ago learned that when someone is walking quickly away from you and is not responding to hails, there’s a problem. I chased her down, thinking maybe she was feeling sick or something. Then I saw her eyes. DOH! Danger Will Robinson! Danger! And so it was that we had our first argument as a married couple in Epcot…in Future World…on a bridge…which may or may not have had a troll under it.

It’s funny how the world works sometimes. A few years later I was serving as a counselor at a youth camp and one of the other youth pastors was telling me how he and his wife had their “married quarrel” at Epcot. I’m not sure if that’s some sort of spiritual training the Lord takes you through when preparing to enter youth ministry or not. I certainly don’t remember hearing about it in school.

Thus I stood, living my worst ever Walt Disney World memory, trying to console my bride and assuring her I was not a caveman. Then to add insult to injury, it started to rain. At first we ignored it until the skies broke out the boom. We soon found our selves scrambling for cover and wound up in the queue for the Living Seas. Then we started to laugh. REALLY Laugh. Hee-Hawing, gut wrenching, somebody call security and tell em The Biscuits just flipped as script laughing. We finally recovered and made promises to one another about clear communications and never quarreling again. We had survived a week of insanity, and knew that if we could get though one more day, we could handle just about anything.

Coming up on Episode 32 – Close Encounters of the Cool Kind.