DVC planning when life is uncertain

[Moneypenny]

I acknowledge that I'm making public my deficiencies as a daughter and human being, but it occurs to me that a portion of the DVC demographic may find themselves in situations similar to this so I'm posing this question to the group.

My husband and I are currently a couple of years into what is likely a multi-year situation in which we have aging parents in various degrees of...I don't even know...degrees of dying probably best sums it up. Both sets of parents live a multi-hour drive away from us and have chosen to forego many services/options for care, instead assuming they will never experience any kind of crisis, or if they do, I will apparently be responsible for and able to magically fix any such crisis.

We were one day into a DVC trip last September when my step-father died. (He was not healthy, but not near death as far as anyone knew.) We flew home the next day, DVC kindly put the unused points in holding for us, and we were able to swap those into an upcoming reservation we had for January.

Now one of my parents is probably going to die of cancer in the coming weeks? months? who knows? The man has been near death more than once in the last two years and keeps rallying, but he seems to now be in that last, slow, wasting away phase of a Cancer Death. We have a vacation scheduled in May and have just a couple of days to cancel without the points going into holding. We don't have any guarantee of being able to use any holding points since our next upcoming reservation is on our other membership (we have two Use Years) and my understanding is that Member Services can't swap points across memberships.

Do you have a strategy when you're in this phase of life?

The safe bet is to cancel and have the option to bank the points for later use. That said, I feel like I'll have some potential parental crisis hanging over my head for the next several years, or will be dealing with estates and whatnot, and end up with a lot of untaken vacations and unused points if we make the safe choice each time.

Another option is to roll the dice and keep vacations on the books after the cancellation deadline and just deal with the consequences if we have to cancel, knowing we may lose out on a lot of points.

I feel like whatever option we choose will be the "wrong" one somehow. And, darnit, I want to go on vacation and plan vacation and look forward to vacation... and DH and I are both healthy and physcially fit right now, able to get away from work for vacations, our daughter is nearly launched into adulthood...this next stretch of time is our perfect vacation window.

Thoughts? Experiences? My husband and I are tired of talking with each other about this trying to decide - not just what to do for this next vacation, but what should our thought process be around this for the next several years so I'd appreciate other perspectives.

(And yes, many of you will have different family dynamics such that there is no question here for you, as you have no doubt that you will either be there for your family no matter what, or you will not and you won't agonize over it. I am not in either of those places.)

 

[disneydreamer1980]

I feel for you and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. My parents are both in decline and my MIL has advanced cancer so we’re facing similar issues. I’d keep the trip and if something happens and you can’t go, maybe you could rent the reservation via a third party site (so there’s not much for you to do) to try and recoup something.

 

[muppets3d]

Personally I plan and go on vacations as normal. As life happens, I deal with it. Yes you may lose some points if something happens during or shortly before a booked trip. But you will also get to go on vacations that you would have cancelled or never booked if you put your life on pause instead.

One thing you can look into is renting reservations. I have had to do this before. I had a reservation that was too late to cancel without holding (and I couldn't use the holding points) so I put it up as a confirmed reservation with a broker. It rented within a few days. I got some income, I didn't lose points, it all worked out.

 

[Brian Noble]

I am not quite in that stage of life yet, but not too far off. I'm not imagining myself being the Crisis Fixer In All Cases, but I also am not estranged from my parents and other elders.

Do you have a strategy when you're in this phase of life?

I like this one:

Another option is to roll the dice and keep vacations on the books after the cancellation deadline and just deal with the consequences if we have to cancel, knowing we may lose out on a lot of points.

If I lose some assets because I have to cancel a trip or cut it short, that's just life. If points go into holding---or I lose them entirely---it is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Yes, those points were worth real money, but money is not the most important thing.

Not by a longshot.

If a crisis comes up, and I can get there in time to be helpful, I'll do that, last-minute air changes and lost points be damned. But I don't think anyone needs to organize their entire lives around "what happens if," and I don't plan to do that.

 

[Mommb]

This is a rough situation. Given that something could happen, or not, at any time, I would keep with your plans so that you have the possibility of having a good vacation. It sounds as if there's not much you can do for your family, if they have resisted your ideas for setting up services and care. So all you can do is wait for a phone call, and you can do that from WDW as well as from home.

One aspect I haven't seen mentioned yet is purchasing travel insurance from DVC: https://disneyvacationclub.disney.go.com/vacation-planning/travel-insurance. I have not looked closely at the details but trip insurance typically does cover cancellations or interruptions due to death or serious illness of a family member.

I hope you are able to enjoy a relaxing trip.

 

[Genie+]

Maybe look into trip insurance?

Many policies cover a year of travel.

I normally don’t buy it but I looked of the cost of covering DH and I and it was ~$1k for a year.

https://www.allianztravelinsurance.com/

^ You can get a quick immediate quote. Just put in start date, age of travelers and State of residence.

 

[Willow Ufgood]

My husband and I are now orphaned. We lost my dad and 5 years later we lost my mom and both of his parents. During that time we chose not to go abroad out of fear that we would get "that phone call". But we did travel domestically during that time, some of it even to WDW. Our lives were on hold that last year due to their advancing age and progressive illnesses.

The most I can offer is to ask yourself how you would feel if you went on your trip but had to cut it short because of your parents. Is having points in holding really the worst thing that could happen in the great scheme of things? Other than that last gut-wrenching year with our parents, we chose to go on our vacations.

 

[Brian Noble]

I usually self-insure. I figure that, in the long run, I should come out ahead by just paying for a few extras out of pocket than to insure every trip. The exceptions are cruises or package travel if i am paying for my adult kids and their partners as well, because that gets comfortably into five figures at risk.

If i had a parent with a terminal diagnosis, I might reconsider that. However, a good friend of mine moved to Michigan over ten ago to care for his mom, who was given less than a year to live. His plan was to move back to New York after closing out her affairs.

He still lives here.

 

[Travel60]

We went through that a few years back DH has extended family for which he was the only son/grandson/nephew. I had only my mom (Dad died young). None of them lived near us or anywhere we usually travel.

We traveled as usual however, after one "untimely" death, I started including a black dress & shoes in my suitcase wherever we went. I could pivot on a dime without having to go back home.

That said, nothing says you have to be there quickly. They are gone, they won't know. You can handle arrangements by phone (assuming they've made none) and plan the funeral for the next week... Or month.