Biscuit's Grand Adventure | An epic tale three decades in the making!

[GreatBiscuit]

I'm not a southerner, but have experienced first hand the Krystal Burger effect. Well, for me it was just killer heartburn, but I only ate two. SEVENTEEN?!?!?!? I can't imagine.

I can't wait to hear how the rest of this trip went. Sounds like there were all kinds of opportunities for chaos with the crew you'd assembled!

Believe me, the chaos has only just begun.

Wow. I always wondered about Krystal burgers - who eats there? How come no one around here says "Hey, let's grab us some Krystal burgers" like they say "Hey let's grab some Wendy's!"

Now I know. Thanks for the fair warning.

Now I'll just silently wonder about Checkers.

They recently opened a Krystal near me and I have ventured there a few times....just in moderation.

Checkers has the BEST fries, ever. Now, Wendy's is just to me except for the chicken nuggets! I think it's just a regional thing--Krystal's is really popular in TN and I can honestly say they have never given me heartburn! probably built up a tolerance over the years.

I remember several years ago (still in high school) I went to a place in Memphis called Central Park that had the best fries I've ever tasted. (I think it was when my aunt graduated from law school.) We don't have a Checker's here, so I'm not sure how they compare.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Episode 8 - A Near-Death Experience and learning to pronounce Kissimmee

We awoke the next day still feeling the effects of Krystal and apologized profusely to my aunt for the atmospheric condition of her domicile. This day was a bit of a holding pattern as we were awaiting the arrival of my grandparents and my grandfather's brother's family. To pass the time, we indulged in the great American pastime, namely baseball.

As a Texan I of course have a deeply entrenched and unwavering love of football. (I'm wearing a Cowboys shirt as we speak. Although after this season, I don't know why. But I've been a fan since the days of Danny White so I guess I'm in it for the long haul.) Anyhow, as great as the gridiron can be, I still love me a good baseball game. Especially live. There is just something that I love about going to a ballpark. My last two years of college, we used to get the student tickets to the K to watch the Kansas City Royals lose. Seriously, out of the dozen or so games I made it to, they won ONE. But that was okay, because A.) I'm a Texas Rangers fan, (thus used to losing) and B.) It was about the experience more than the win.

Getting back to the trip, Lakeland has a great minor league stadium and Pete, my dad, my uncle Steve, my cousin and of course myself all headed out to catch the Lakeland Flying Tigers. If you've never been to a minor league game, you need to go. To me they are more "real", if you will, than MLB games. (If that makes any sense.) I don't remember who they played that day, but I remember it was a great game.

Up until the 7'th inning when death came calling at the door.

Those of you familiar with Lakeland no doubt know it as the lighting capitol of the world. Shortly after the 7'th inning stretch, the wind picked up and you could smell rain, but it had not yet started falling. Suddenly a lightning bolt struck the ground in the field beyond the outfield wall. It's the closest I've ever been to a ground strike in my life. The flash was so bright, you could still see it when you blinked for about an hour afterward. But what really caught everyone's attention was the thunderclap. There was no delay, no counting seconds to see how many miles away it was. The sound hit you like a wall instantly as the flash went off.

Unlike the gentle rumbles you might hear indoors, this was a bone jarring, ear splitting, nerve wracking explosion. It rattled my teeth, quivered my liver and jarred my gall right out of its bladder. It not only scared the Pooh out of me, but also the Tigger the Piglet and the entire hundred acre wood! To say it was startling to the entire stadium full of fans is an understatement. To say the stadium cleanup crew had to hose down the bleachers after the game is no exaggeration.

Fortunately no one was hurt, and I must say, that’s the fastest I've EVER seen outfielders make it back to the dugout. As it was obvious the game wasn't going to resume any time soon, we decided to head back to the car. We made it about 10 feet when the rain came. Not just any rain...the Louisiana monsoon squall of death seemed to have transported itself to Lakeland, and massive sheets of rain were blowing in sideways. Fortunately, we were able to stay somewhat dry thanks to the angle of the overhead partial roof and the fact that the rain was blowing from our backs so the bleachers were running interference for us. BUT it was obvious we weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

While sitting in the stadium trying to entertain ourselves, we (namely I) began laying out our park touring strategy for the week. While I was in the middle of a particularly stirring and inspiring oration on the joys of Epcot (a park I had never been to mind you), the woman in front of me turned around, scowled and huffed "You pronounce it kuh-SIM-ee." She then muttered something about tourists and stomped off.

We all stood silent for a moment, pondering the significance of what has just taken place. It had been a good 10 min since we had talked about our hotel in Kissimmee (which we were pronouncing KISS-a-me with an outrageous French accent.) I have to wonder just what was going on in her mind during that interim. I pondered exactly what thought process led her to determine that taking the name of Kissimmee in vain was an intolerable transgression that she simply could not remain silent for. After a few moments shock, we all burst out laughing and took great joy in repeating it the rest of the day.

Eventually the rain settled into a steady drizzle and the announcer advised the 12 remaining fans in stands (namely those who hadn't brought umbrellas...raise your hand if you are from out of state) that the game was officially postponed and would not resume that day.

We remained a few min more and then braved a run back to the van-boat. We returned to my Aunt's house, shared our tales of doom and triumph and greeted the remaining relatives who had by now arrived.

After having the requisite cookout, the family settled down in the living room and I presented "The Plan". I've taken a lot of grief for the plan over the years. Whenever Walt Disney World is mentioned in our family, someone invariable rolls their eyes and asks me if I'm working on “The Plan”. Essentially the plan was a master touring scheme, designed off the recommendations of a couple of different guide books, and laid out to maximize our time/attraction ratio.

The plan split us up into three distinct park touring groups. Group A was the “Low Impact” group and consisted of my grandparents, grandfather’s brother & his wife, and those who preferred to avoid bumping, shaking, spinning and bouncing. Group B was the “Young'uns” group and focused on attractions which appealed to the elementary crowd. Group C was the “Thrill” Group and focused on the need for speed. The plan outlined a touring order for each group with overlapping attractions and meal times. (Now you know why I didn't do so well in Algebra II that semester.)

After the mission briefing was completed and I was met with a sea of blank stares, it was time to make preparation for morning departure. After several rounds of games and a few chapters of reading, there was a herald of warnings from the “grownups” about getting up in the morning, packing our stuff and being ready to leave ON TIME, not LATE, ON TIME in the van-boat, ready to GO, ON TIME.

Once everyone had settled into their assigned sleeping locations and the lights had been extinguished, the house grew silent until someone, (I'm not naming names) let fly “kuh-SIM-ee”. This of course set off a round of raucous laughter that lasted well into the night, and resulted in some irate and threatening bellows being lofted our way from the back of the house before we finally crashed. Had I known then what would transpire the next morning, the terror would have kept me up all night.


Coming up on Episode 9 - How to get kicked out of the Magic Kingdom before you hit Main Street


__________________________________



__________________________________

The issue with the job situation has been difficult, but is only one of several things that we are dealing with right now. You know they saying, when it rains it pours. As I wrote this episode and remembered the lighting strike and the fury of the storm, I was reminded of God's faithfulness. A pastor friend of mine has often remarked that in life, we are either coming out of a storm, going through storm, or being prepared for a storm.

One thing I've learned is that when a storm is over, ships are rarely on the exact same course heading as they were when it began. When I look back at the storms I've gone through before, I can see God's hand of protection and guidance in each. All I can do is trust that God is working to turn my life towards a new heading to achieve something greater than I could have dreamed up on my own. I don't understand what Hes doing, and I fear the elements about me, but I trust Him. I know that if He does not calm the storm, He will certainly calm His child.

As I write this, I've been listing to Praise You In This Storm by Casting Crowns, Yet I Will Praise by Melissa Boraski, You are God Alone by Billy Foote, and How Deep the Father's Love by Kelly Minter. They remind me that when it comes to this life I lead, I'd rather be in the storm with Christ in the boat, then on the shore without him.

If the worst thing in life that ever happens to me is that I have to postpone a vacation, then I have truly been blessed. (Something my friend ZZUB's TR's have taught me.)

 

[jcc0621]

As a Texan I of course have a deeply entrenched and unwavering love of football. (I'm wearing a Cowyboys shirt as we speak.

Despite this I will continue to read.....

E-A-G-L-E-S (although after this season, yada..yada..yada )

To say it was startling to the entire stadium full of fans is an understatement. To say the stadium cleanup crew had to hose down the bleachers after the game is no exaggeration.

After the mission briefing was completed and I was met with a sea of blank stares,

I just never understand this look .

Coming up on Episode 9 – “How to get kicked out of the Magic Kingdom before you hit Main Street”.

Ok, now I am really

 

[whogirl'smom]

I can honestly say that I do not use any Algebra II skills in my daily life, but Disney Planning 101--now, that's something I can really use!

I had a book growing up about a family in Florida in the 20's-30's or so, who had a mule named Kissimmee. I thought it was pronounced KISS-immee, too, for years and years.

I have recently had the phrase "if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it" on my mind and it seems to keep me calmer about the worries of life right now. I will keep your family in my prayers.

 

[AshClan]

Suddenly a lighting bolt struck the ground in the field beyond the outfield wall. It’s the closest I’ve ever been to a ground strike in my life. The flash was so bright, you could still see it when you blinked for about an hour afterward. But what really caught everyone’s attention was the thunderclap. There was no delay, no counting seconds to see how many miles away it was. The sound hit you like a wall instantly as the flash went off.

Unlike the gentle rumbles you might hear indoors, this was a bone jarring, ear splitting, nerve wracking explosion. It rattled my teeth, quivered my liver and jarred my gall right out of its bladder. It not only scared the Pooh out of me, but also the Tigger the Piglet and the entire hundred acre wood. To say it was startling to the entire stadium full of fans is an understatement. To say the stadium cleanup crew had to hose down the bleachers after the game is no exaggeration.

Fortunately no one was hurt, and I must say, that’s the fastest I’ve EVER seen outfielders make it back to the dugout. As it was obvious the game wasn’t going to resume any time soon, we decided to head back to the car. We made it about 10 feet when the rain came. Not just any rain…the Louisiana monsoon squall of death seemed to have transported itself to Lakeland, and massive sheets of rain were blowing in sideways. Fortunately, we were able to stay somewhat dry thanks to the angle of the overhead partial roof and the fact that the rain was blowing from our backs so the bleachers were running interference for us. BUT it was obvious we weren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

This was one fine piece of descriptive and entertaining writing, my friend!

Essentially the plan was a master touring scheme, designed off the recommendations of a couple of different guide books, and laid out to maximize our time/attraction ratio.

The plan split us up into three distinct park touring groups. Group A was the “Low Impact” group and consisted of my grandparents, grandfather’s brother & his wife, and those who preferred to avoid bumping, shaking, spinning and bouncing. Group B was the “Young’uns” group and focused on attractions which appealed to the elementary crowd. Group C was the “Thrill” Group and focused on the need for speed. The plan outlined a touring order for each group with overlapping attractions and meal times. (Now you know why I didn’t do so well in Algebra II that semester.)

Face it, GB. You are a GEEK of the highest magnitude. Since we are all there with ya, though, 'sokay with us. Embrace the geekiness.

I am with ya, too, on the storm navigation stuff. And I am sure your great attitude and faith will get you through whatever it is you have to face. A dear friend of mine has a great philosophy that I am striving for in my own life: "It will all be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end." I am leaning on those words muchly lately, and I think you can count on it too. Sound like you are doing a great job doing just that.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

E-A-G-L-E-S (although after this season, yada..yada..yada )

I aint even gonna go there.

I just never understand this look .

Me neither

Ok, now I am really

I'm eager to post that one. I may break down and slip it in early.

I can honestly say that I do not use any Algebra II skills in my daily life, but Disney Planning 101--now, that's something I can really use!

Amen to that! Let's teach stuff kids could use! I remember on this trip, my parents visted the Teacher's Resource Center in Epcot and there was a ton of stuff to use in the classroom. I don't know if they still have this or not. Now that you've jarred my memory, I intend to find out.

I had a book growing up about a family in Florida in the 20's-30's or so, who had a mule named Kissimmee. I thought it was pronounced KISS-immee, too, for years and years.

So THAT'S where the name came from. Well, I guess everyplace has to be named after something...although I don't think that's one I'd brag about.

I have recently had the phrase "if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it" on my mind and it seems to keep me calmer about the worries of life right now. I will keep your family in my prayers.

No that's good stuff!

Face it, GB. You are a GEEK of the highest magnitude. Since we are all there with ya, though, 'sokay with us. Embrace the geekiness.

Believe me, working in Tech Support, I learned to embrace my inner Geek a LOOOOOONG time ago!.

"It will all be alright in the end. If it's not alright, it's not the end."

Love the quote, which I why I quoted you quoting the quote using the multi quote feature. Thanks for the reminder and your kind words! God Bless!

 

[PrincessV]

A.) I’m a Texas Rangers fan, (thus used to losing)

I can relate. Buccaneers anyone?

Those of you familiar with Lakeland no doubt know it as the lighting capitol of the world.

I'm very close to Tampa and we like to vie for that title, thank you very much.

While sitting in the stadium trying to entertain ourselves, we (namely I) began laying out our park touring strategy for the week. While I was in the middle of a particularly stirring and inspiring oration on the joys of Epcot (a park I had never been to mind you), the woman in front of me turned around, scowled and huffed “You pronounce it kuh-SIM-ee.” She then muttered something about tourists and stomped off.

This cracked me up inordinately. My dad lived in FL when I was growing up, so I heard lots of these kind of Floridan comments. Okefenokee was always good for some laughs, too.

The plan split us up into three distinct park touring groups. Group A was the “Low Impact” group and consisted of my grandparents, grandfather’s brother & his wife, and those who preferred to avoid bumping, shaking, spinning and bouncing. Group B was the “Young’uns” group and focused on attractions which appealed to the elementary crowd. Group C was the “Thrill” Group and focused on the need for speed. The plan outlined a touring order for each group with overlapping attractions and meal times.

Wow. Just, wow.

Coming up on Episode 9 – “How to get kicked out of the Magic Kingdom before you hit Main Street”.

Say WHAT?!?!?!?!

ETA:

Last edited by GreatBiscuit : 02-03-2009 at 01:47 PM. Reason: Trying to convince Mel to finish her TR.

Good luck with that, lol!

 

[GreatBiscuit]

My dad lived in FL when I was growing up, so I heard lots of these kind of Floridan comments. Okefenokee was always good for some laughs, too.

I pondered getting a T-Shirt for this summer with picture of a BASS boat on it that says "All I need to know about Florida pronunciation, I learned from Roland Martin" but I figured I'm the only who'd get a grin out of it.

Good luck with that, lol!

Thanks - I'm gonna need it!

Now off to update.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Episode 9 - How to get kicked out of the Magic Kingdom before you hit Main Street

We woke the next morning and headed out the door with hearty enthusiasm. (Actually I was forced awaked with much threatening and shoving and stumbled half asleep into the van-boat.) We were heading straight to the Magic Kingdom with plans to leave the park at lunch time and check into our motel.

I have absolutely no memory of the drive to the park and seem to recall being rolled from the van to the tram. Due to the large size of our group, we invoked the power of the ferry (as in boat rather than Tink) to transport us across the Seven Seas Lagoon. I perked right up the second I saw the castle and by the time we hit the turnstiles I was raring to go. I’m not sure of our exact arrival time, but it was after rope drop. In fact you can just mark it down that I’ve never made rope drop. Ever. It’s a sad memory. I need a moment.

.
.
.

Thank You.

For our morning excursion, the only souls participating in the “Thrill Seekers” touring group were Pete and myself. We split up in Town Square with plans to meet up with the clan later, and that’s when it happened.

Now there’s something you need to understand about we two young 'uns. We never went out looking for trouble. We were never bent on open anarchy and rebellion. Overthrowing "The Man" was simply not part of our daily agenda. It just seemed that trouble had a way of finding us, and by some stroke of cosmic misfortune, we had a knack for being frequently found. (Like the time we set my mother’s stove on fire making a pot of Ramen noodles and made matters worse with our method of flame control. Who knew a tiny little fire extinguisher could produce that much white powder? Or that my parents would happen to choose that EXACT moment to walk in the front door?)

That morning, trouble stood about 5 feet high, and wore a blue & white dress. I’m referring of course to Alice ala Wonderland. It just so happened that about the time our grand gathering split into its separate and distinct pods, Alice was making her way into Town Square for a morning rasher of meeting and greeting. As it turned out, we were standing very near where she appeared, and Pete was the first guest to get a picture that morning.

He handed me the camera and all was going well until it came time for the pose. He asked Alice to put her arm around him. She replied something to the effect “Oh I couldn’t!” Now my friend, being a people person, said “No, really, put your arm around me.!” To which Alice replied “Oh it wouldn’t be lady like at all” and instead she assumed a hands to the chin pose. I was quite amused at this point and did the 1 – 2 – 3 picture countdown.

That’s when it happened. As I hit the 3 and took the photo, he gave Alice a big hug around the waist. She gave a little “OH MY !” statement and a scolding finger wag, then moved on to someone else. We were quite amused by the entire thing and I handed back the camera.

As we were standing there preparing to head to Space Mountain, the sun suddenly went dark. A blast of cold air blew up our spines. The ground shook and a massive shoe planted in front of us. I looked up and there he stood, nine feet tall, five hundred pounds of pure surliness. He leaned down towards us and growled “Harassment of the characters is grounds for dismissal from the park!”

I went cold. Every drop of blood drained from my body and leeched into the pavement. My entire life and Birnbaum's guide flashed before my eyes. I stood there helpless and frozen, watching it all float by. I laughed at the clothes I wore in the 70’s and read a review of the Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse. (This was after all my fourth trip to the MK and I had never done this attraction. I still wasn’t sure if I wanted to try to work it in this time or not.)

When I rejoined normal time & space I found my heart had left my body and was thumping it’s way down Main Street USA in an attempt to touch the castle before the rest of me was cast out into darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of park maps. What would Disney jail be like? I imagined I’d be detained, and escorted by some sort of security detail across Bay Lake and onto Discovery Island for processing.

When others sailed by on their way to magic and fun, I’d be stuck on “The Rock”, cleaning up parrot poo and listening to the teasing laughter spill across the lake. How long would the incarceration last? No one really knows.

Even today I sometimes pull up Google Earth and take a glance at the mysterious rooftops that remain on Discovery Island. I wonder just how many Alice Huggers are still being held there.

As bleak as the possibility of doing hard time seemed, an ever worse fate would be breaking the news to the rest of the kinfolk. What would my family say? I was the holder of “The Plan”, the master of multi-group touring stratagem. Disney was my dream for crying out loud! This could fracture the very balance of the world as we know it!

I tried to stammer an apology but it came out as sah-sah-sah-s-s-s-s-s-grk.

I wondered how I would recover from this, whether this would be a temporary banishment or a lifelong prohibition of magic. I imagined posters with our faces on them being shown to the cast members at the turnstiles. Whenever a training class would begin, our photos would be handed out with the label “Beware of Alice Huggers”.

As I was nearing the point of cranial meltdown, mister giant character-handler man apparently spotted another act of harassment, and giving us a head jerk that may or may not have meant “wait here”, he went stomping off to terrorize a small village.

One of the few benefits of having trouble find you often is that it forces you to develop the ability to execute an expedient exit. The moment our new friend stepped away, we shot down Main Street as if we had been fired from the cannon of the Black Pearl. If you were there that summer and wondered why there were streaks burned into the pavement, now you know.

Although we managed to elude expulsion, I was a nervous wreck. The entire rest of the day, I had an uneasy feeling that we were being followed. Whenever we emerged from an attraction, I surveyed the crowd for a bald and surly bouncer. Feeling the need for a disguise, I bought a hat and a t-shirt, on the pretense of getting into the “Disney spirit”. I felt better after changing, but it was still extremely disconcerting. Pete, who is never really bothered by anything, laughed the whole thing off.

We did manage to squeeze in a few rides that morning, but the shock to my brain wreaked such havoc on my cortical subroutines, that apparently long term memory allocation was taken offline. No matter how hard I’ve tried, I haven’t been able to remember anything else from that morning before we went to check into our motel.

So that’s where we’ll be headed next. After the shock we had endured, my poor heart couldn’t take much more. As it turned out, there WOULD be an unexpected surprise waiting of us when we checked in. But this time, it would be much more pleasant to bear.

Coming up on Episode 10 – Living Like Kings & Dole Whip Dreams

 

[jcc0621]

Sorry...but...

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Poor Bisquit! Sorry you were so traumatized.

I love your writing. Again, looking forward to the next chapter.

 

[burly]

wow is there no way you could find Pete and get a copy of the pic??? Pleeeaaassseeee

 

[whogirl'smom]

And that's why they have character handlers now....

 

[feedthebirds]

What an update!

Hope you are able to cross paths with Pete sometime for that pic.

 

[AshClan]

You have me all stressed out over here, GB!!

That's a great story. Sorry the PTSD caused you to forget most of the day

You are a fab writer, BTW

 

[PrincessV]

That was just darned funny writing - I can't even pick a part to quote! Alice Hugger.

 

[ZZUB]

First of all, who in their right mind goes to Krystal's on purpose? It's where you eat when Hardee's is closed.

Secondly, I'm still not sure there was an actual thunder clap at the baseball game or whether it was the rumblings from the partially digested Krystals moving their way through your system.

You did mention hosing off the bleachers, so I'm thinking it was a metaphorical thunderous explosion.

FYI: just writing out the word Krystal's has made my face feel oily and I can feel my tastebuds going numb.

But this is a fun ride and I'm enjoying reading about your several early trips to Disney World. Good night, you were some kind of prepared for that trip! Three different touring plans?!

At the risk of careening your TR wildly off topic and getting you bounced to a board of another name, I hope that whatever storm the Lord is bringing you through is short. Be mindful that His rod and staff are there not just to lead you but to comfort you.

As God lays GreatBiscuit on my mind, I will pray for you and your family.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Sorry...but...

Glad you enjoyed it!

Poor Bisquit! Sorry you were so traumatized.

I love your writing. Again, looking forward to the next chapter.

Thanks BSG! It was definitely my most memorable romp through town square.

wow is there no way you could find Pete and get a copy of the pic??? Pleeeaaassseeee

I wish I could. I've tried to contact him a few times over the years, but never with any success.

And that's why they have character handlers now....

It was all my fault.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

What an update!

Hope you are able to cross paths with Pete sometime for that pic.

Glad you enjoyed it!

You have me all stressed out over here, GB!!

That's a great story. Sorry the PTSD caused you to forget most of the day

You are a fab writer, BTW

Sorry, didn't mean to stress you! Thanks the kind words and for reading along!

That was just darned funny writing - I can't even pick a part to quote! Alice Hugger.

I've been called worse things in my life. Glad you enjoyed it!

First of all, who in their right mind goes to Krystal's on purpose? It's where you eat when Hardee's is closed.

Secondly, I'm still not sure there was an actual thunder clap at the baseball game or whether it was the rumblings from the partially digested Krystals moving their way through your system.

You did mention hosing off the bleachers, so I'm thinking it was a metaphorical thunderous explosion.
:

I never stopped to think whether Krystal was responsible for the disturbance in the force. Hmmmmm.....

As God lays GreatBiscuit on my mind, I will pray for you and your family.

Thanks Zzub - I really do appreciate that, more than words can show. It is truly awesome to know that there are those out there whom we will likely never meet in this lifetime that God uses to bless and encourage our lives.

 

[GreatBiscuit]

Episode 10 – Living Like Kings & Dole Whip Dreams

We met back up with the kinfolk and departed the Magic Kingdom for our off-site motel. If my life depended on naming where it was that we stayed, or even where in Kissimmee it was located, I'm afraid I would become a partaker of glory. I remember that it consisted of three or four single-story buildings, that the front building housed the office and pool area, and that all the rooms had unobstructed parking lot views.

It was a simple, bare bones, no frills, we're only here to sleep, bargain-budget, turn on the lights before you step on the floor, please ignore the police chalk outline, luxury resort. But it had a bed and at that point in my life I needed a nap. (And a Xanax wouldn't have killed me. Next time I scare myself to death, I'll see if Delswife can send me Scruffy's number.) My dad went to check in with the other family patriarchs, and left us all in the van. He of course neglected to leave the keys, so after about 30 seconds of un-air conditioned bliss, we all exited the vehicle to check out the digs.

Checking in took a long time. A REALLY long time. A "Should we go look and see if he drove back to the park without looking to see if there was actually any one in the van with him?" long time. (Which knowing my dad, was not an entirely unlikely theory.) Finally he emerged with two sets of keys. Actual keys too, not those credit card blinky lights of doom which never open when I use them, but which always work perfectly for my wife. EVERY TIME.

As it turned out there was an issue with the reservation. My grandfather had reserved the lodging and had set it up under a group rate. Because it was a group rate, it had been pre-paid. One of the extended family members was unable to come down and thus we had an extra room that had already been paid for. The tall and short of it was that if they cancelled the extra room, the would lose the group rate, if they kept it, they would of course be charged for an extra room, but with the discounts applied to all the other rooms, it wound up being about the same price.

At the end of the day, it turned out that Pete and I were given the extra room. We were living like kings in our one star bachelor pad. Looking back I have to wonder how much of that was chance, and how much was planned. You see, I had a problem when I was a teenager and its name was stinky foot. From the time I was 13, all through high school, my mom made me leave my shoes on the back porch at night and march strait to the shower before bed. (Our yard was the only one in the neighborhood that never had mosquitoes.) They were bad..beyond bad...foul in the utmost means of expression.

Yet my olfactory arsenal did not end with sullied sneakers, there was the OTHER issue. I was known to frequently shoot a Jimmy, spread the duck butter, fire a fizzler, pinch a pongu, float an air biscuit, lay an egg, cut the cheese, toot the trouser trumpet, burp in my britches, rip a raspberry, fan the southern breeze, in short, I was gassy.

My parents can claim that it was a reservation issue, but after the van ride and the Krystal incident, I'm not entirely convinced this wasn't a planned separation. I somehow imagine that the thought of my feet marinating in Florida sunshine combined with the musical effects of eating out all week was more than my dear mother could handle.

But that's just my personal theory.

Fortunately, I grew out of the stinky foot and as to the other, well, we won't go there.

I seem to have wondered completely off.

After checking in, we spent a couple of hours at the motel before heading out for some food and shopping on the Kissimmee strip. This would become our daily routine. We would spend around 3-4 hours at the parks each morning, leave for lunch, do the motel/swim thing, eat dinner off site, then return to the parks for another 4-5 hours.

This first park day, we returned to the Magic Kingdom and pretty much stuck together for the rest of the evening. After again taking the ferry, and casting a hasty glance about in Town Square for surly bouncer-dude, we made our way over to Adventureland. Our first stop was for a tasty treat, namely Dole Whip.

I was way more excited about the Dole Whip than a person should ever be. But I had good reason. Sixteen months before this trip, my grandfather had emergency open heart surgery and required a quadruple bypass. In the late 80's this was a MUCH more serious operation than it is now. (And having sat with many a family as they waited on loved ones, I can tell you it is still no cake walk.) Following surgery, my grandfather was in ICU for 7 days, CCU for 5 days, and a regular hospital room for a couple of weeks. He had to have extensive physical therapy just to be able to walk normally.

When we got the call about the surgery and arrived at the hospital a few hours later, one of the doctor's came out to brief the family. He advised us that the best case scenario would be that the surgery would extend my grandfather's life another 5-7 years. It was a sobering moment and a day I will never forget. My grandfather took it in stride and decided he was going to do everything he could do to push that number higher. He started on a STRICT diet and began exercising daily.

The Christmas prior to our trip, we all gathered at my grandparents' house. Because of my grandfather's new diet, it was a bit of a different feast than we were used to. At the time, there was a truck stop near their home that sold Vanilla and Chocolate Dole Whip, and every afternoon that we were there, my grandfather took us over for some, as it was pretty much the only dessert he could have. (Being that it is non-dairy.) That Christmas, we were all amazed to see just how well my grandfather was doing, and cherished the time we had together. We began to believe that maybe he would beat the odds and have more time than what the doctors thought.

When I read in Birnbaum's that they served Dole Whip at the Magic Kingdom, I couldn't wait to bring my grandfather over for some. Because of his diet, eating on vacation was especially difficult for him. He was excited to find out that it was pineapple, as he had only had vanilla and chocolate to choose from before. Eating our treats as a family, we were all thankful for this moment. We cherished it as gift from God and celebrated the time we had been given as a family. That moment comes to mind whenever I think about that side of of park and it is now my favorite Magic Kingdom Memory.

As it turns out, my grandfather did defeat the odds and he now lives about 25 minutes from my house. His five to seven year prognosis is currently in its twentieth year. The next time I find myself in the Magic Kingdom, I plan to stop in Adventureland, grab a large Dole Whip, and thank God for the blessings He has poured out on my life.


Coming up in episode 11 - Jungles, Trees, Caves and BEEEEEES!