Birthday BBQ, does this seem cheap?

[design_mom]

I bet people making the argument about "what ever they serve is fine" won’t admit in this thread that they have had to stop at a FF restaurant on the way home because the kids where hungry.

I have!

I never have. My kids are pretty good eaters. But we have had "a snack" when we get home. Still think it's fine for the host to choose the menu. She is offering options... it's just that there's only one *entree*.

My SIL's children are picky eaters and I know they have stopped after parties before, but she still doesn't feel like it's the host's responsibility to cater the whole to her picky eaters. (At my parties, I always make sure we have some things her kids will eat... but I don't make multiple entree options. And her picky eaters *will* eat hot dogs.)

 

[thebeesknees]

Whoa, I guess our family is super tacky, then, according to some of the responses. We typically do pizza, hot dogs, or something similar for the kids' parties because that is what they ask for. It never occurred to me that it would come across as cheap. I try to make sure we have plenty of sides available, so there is something for everyone. When we go to cousins' parties, it is the same idea with one type of meat/entree, and then a bunch of sides set up on the counter. I guess I never thought we were going to these parties (or inviting family to ours) with food as the main focus? We get together because we want to spend time together, not so we can critique each others' Martha Stewart abilities.

I really like the pasta bar idea - I'm going to file that away for one of our upcoming get-togethers.

 

[JENOS]

Hopefully your guests would have been happy to share the day with you and wouldn't have nitpicked the food, or maybe you need new friends. I can't remember what anyone has served at their wedding, except my own (and it wasn't hot dogs because I don't like them). I am not from the "cover your plate" part of the country, so I give nice gifts whether we have cake and punch or a multi-course dinner. I don't rank my friends based on the price of their entrees.



My kids wouldn't have eaten the pork, but they would have eaten the fruit, chips and sides. They also would have been excited to celebrate with a friend, not looking for a food handout. If they were hungry when we left, I would have fed them. And I'm certain THEY are not robots.

I can’t believe that "Hosts" don’t take in account the trouble people go through to go to your parties. Sure my family was happy, but because it was an overall great experience. Can you honestly say that your guest would have been happy to attend your wedding if there was no food, drinks, music?

I can see people noses growing.

 

[ccgirl]

I agree but even more so, hosts need to learn to appreciate their guest.
Why have a party if you are going to expect your guests to “sit down and eat this because I said so”

Or, the guests need to appreciate their host. I'm thankful I teach my children manners and to be polite. When they go somewhere they will pick what they want to eat.

I bet people making the argument about "what ever they serve is fine" won’t admit in this thread that they have had to stop at a FF restaurant on the way home because the kids where hungry.

I have!

Nope. Never have. You would be amazed at the amount of fruit my children can eat.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I bet people making the argument about "what ever they serve is fine" won’t admit in this thread that they have had to stop at a FF restaurant on the way home because the kids where hungry.

I have!

You'd lose that bet.

Actually, I have done that, but I'm OK with that. My younger DD is picky - I don't expect people to cater to her (and try not to cater too much to her myself ). She wouldn't eat many of the things mentioned here - hot dogs, burgers, grilled chicken, even pasta. But she can happily make a meal from fruit and cheese, so she is usually fine with the sides that are offered. If not, I'll make sure she gets fed.

My older DD is not at all picky, but I have still had to feed her on the way home if something she doesn't like is served (it doesn't mean the host was cheap - she doesn't like shrimp). She can usually find enough to eat with the sides as well.

 

[JENOS]

I never have. My kids are pretty good eaters. But we have had "a snack" when we get home. Still think it's fine for the host to choose the menu. She is offering options... it's just that there's only one *entree*.

My SIL's children are picky eaters and I know they have stopped after parties before, but she still doesn't feel like it's the host's responsibility to cater the whole to her picky eaters. (At my parties, I always make sure we have some things her kids will eat... but I don't make multiple entree options. And her picky eaters *will* eat hot dogs.)

So you won’t buy a pack of hot dogs for your sister’s kids knowing their eating habits....you guys must be close

 

[disykat]

I would make do with a side salad and chips. How is that rude?

You keep saying this over and over and we keep answering. It is NOT rude to make do with what is at the party. That is being a polite guest as people are saying - enjoying the party for what it is rather than insisting they should have made it more to your liking. No one has called you rude for not liking hot dogs!

The rude part is saying you won't eat, claiming the host is inconsiderate, comparing the cost of your gift to the meal provided, in general thinking it wasn't worth celebrating the birthday boy/girl because you didn't get the meal you wanted.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

I can’t believe that "Hosts" don’t take in account the trouble people go through to go to your parties. Sure my family was happy, but because it was an overall great experience. Can you honestly say that your guest would have been happy to attend your wedding if there was no food, drinks, music?

I can see people noses growing.

You're taking my post out of context, which seems to be a recurring theme. I dind't say not to offer food, drinks and music at your wedding (or mine). I said I didn't judge my friends or the amount I spent on a gift on what they served to eat (or whether they had alcohol or not, while we are on the subject). I have had a great time at church fellowship hall receptions with cake and punch and at destination weddings with grand feasts and open bars, but it is the people that make the party.

 

[JENOS]

Or, the guests need to appreciate their host. I'm thankful I teach my children manners and to be polite. When they go somewhere they will pick what they want to eat.



Nope. Never have. You would be amazed at the amount of fruit my children can eat.

Good for you, teaching your kids manners is always a good thing. And teaching them to buy a lot of fruit when they host a party for the guest who don’t eat spicy pork is also a good thing

 

[SaraJayne]

I bet people making the argument about "what ever they serve is fine" won’t admit in this thread that they have had to stop at a FF restaurant on the way home because the kids where hungry.

I have!

Nope, never have.

If you go home hungry from one of our family parties, it's your own fault for not eating all of the food that was available.

Even if you don't like one thing, there are plenty of other options.

 

[design_mom]

So you won’t buy a pack of hot dogs for your sister’s kids knowing their eating habits....you guys must be close

No... I said I *do* make sure there was stuff that her kids will eat. They will eat hot dogs, burgers, chicken, pizza, pasta, lasagna etc. so that's what we usually serve.

Since it's *family* (like the OP said her party was) I know what her kids will eat and I plan accordingly, but it usually means we all eat something her kids will eat. I don't make two entrees.

And if for some reason he decides that day he won't eat what we're having (sometimes he changes his mind about what he'll eat), I will make him a hot dog or a PB&J or something, but I don't make two entrees for everyone.

That's why I stand by my opinion that if the OP knows that her party guests will eat hot dogs then it's perfectly fine to serve hot dogs... even if in the past she's offered a choice of entrees at her party.

 

[ccgirl]

I would LOVE your recipe! Also any tips on how you kept everything warm, etc.. This sounds like it may work and be a great solution for people that don't want meat! Noone in our family really goes crazy over meatballs so I like your idea about the sliced sausage.

I have it at home so when I get home from work I will update this thread. It is so easy, cheap and yummy. I often entertain and have a lot of those aluminum warming racks with sterno. I used those. Plus, a couple of crock pots.

My full menu for that

Fruit salad
Chips/Dip
Cheese/Crackers
3 lbs of ziti
Alfredo Sauce
Red sauce
Sausages
Meatballs
Mushrooms
Shrimp
Chicken (I buy the big bag at BJ's and it's already cooked, I just have to slice and warm)
Garlic Bread
Italian Bread
Tossed Salad
Cake/Ice Cream

I just had my daughter's First Communion and purchased the 3 foot Italian Sub from BJ's. It was $27 and everyone raved about it. I had a ton of other things beside that (too much actually) but that's another option if you didn't want to cook.

I'll copy the recipe for the Alfredo sauce when I get home tonight.

 

[JENOS]

You're taking my post out of context, which seems to be a recurring theme. I dind't say not to offer food, drinks and music at your wedding (or mine). I said I didn't judge my friends or the amount I spent on a gift on what they served to eat (or whether they had alcohol or not, while we are on the subject). I have had a great time at church fellowship hall receptions with cake and punch and at destination weddings with grand feasts and open bars, but it is the people that make the party.

no you said
"Hopefully your guests would have been happy to share the day with you and wouldn't have nitpicked the food"

Meaning..... Hey guys here some hot dogs, be happy with it no matter what!
When I re do my vows I’m going to have hot dogs and spicy pork... you are right, screw them if they don’t like the menu! I totally agree with you

 

[disykat]

I bet people making the argument about "what ever they serve is fine" won’t admit in this thread that they have had to stop at a FF restaurant on the way home because the kids where hungry.

I have!

I don't consider the food to make the party. If I wanted to go to their birthday party I would. The food isn't the reason I go.

I can’t believe that "Hosts" don’t take in account the trouble people go through to go to your parties. Sure my family was happy, but because it was an overall great experience. Can you honestly say that your guest would have been happy to attend your wedding if there was no food, drinks, music?

I can see people noses growing.

See above. We had a cake and punch wedding. 150 people came knowing they weren't getting food, drinks, etc. They came for our wedding - not a meal. It makes me sad you think people wouldn't have come if you didn't serve a meal.

It always amazes me on the DIS that people will go to all the trouble to go to parties, weddings, etc. mainly for a meal. I have my own food and lots of restaurants near by - food is simply not a big enough draw to get me to a party. Like many people here have stated, a party is about the people.

If that means I stop for something to eat later, I don't have a problem with that.

The OP took her guests into account. She knows them. She knows they eat hot dogs. She can't account for the off chance of there being someone who will only eat chicken and refuses to eat side dishes without chicken next to it in attendance. She simply puts out a spread and if they can't find SOMETHING to eat, it's really not her problem.

 

[JENOS]

No... I said I *do* make sure there was stuff that her kids will eat. They will eat hot dogs, burgers, chicken, pizza, pasta, lasagna etc. so that's what we usually serve.

Since it's *family* (like the OP said her party was) I know what her kids will eat and I plan accordingly, but it usually means we all eat something her kids will eat. I don't make two entrees.

And if for some reason he decides that day he won't eat what we're having (sometimes he changes his mind about what he'll eat), I will make him a hot dog or a PB&J or something, but I don't make two entrees for everyone.

That's why I stand by my opinion that if the OP knows that her party guests will eat hot dogs then it's perfectly fine to serve hot dogs... even if in the past she's offered a choice of entrees at her party.

So you will accommodate your guests...wait?

 

[JENOS]

I don't consider the food to make the party. If I wanted to go to their birthday party I would. The food isn't the reason I go.



See above. We had a cake and punch wedding. 150 people came knowing they weren't getting food, drinks, etc. They came for our wedding - not a meal. It makes me sad you think people wouldn't have come if you didn't serve a meal.

It always amazes me on the DIS that people will go to all the trouble to go to parties, weddings, etc. mainly for a meal. I have my own food and lots of restaurants near by - food is simply not a big enough draw to get me to a party. Like many people here have stated, a party is about the people.

If that means I stop for something to eat later, I don't have a problem with that.

There argument isn’t why people come; the argument is to appreciate your guest by providing them with a menu that will cater to most. Food is not everything in parties, but it is something.

 

[disykat]

There argument isn’t why people come; the argument is to appreciate your guest by providing them with a menu that will cater to most. .

Oh - then since the majority here have said a hot dog bar is fine we can stop arguing? I thought the reason we were arguing was because some people think you have to have enough choices to cater to ALL?

 

[design_mom]

So you will accommodate your guests...wait?

Of course I would... But I don't make a huge selection of entrees *just in case* someone doesn't feel like eating what I've chosen to serve. I choose to serve something I believe will be generally accepted and offer plenty of sides to fill it out. If someone absolutely couldn't/wouldn't eat what I was serving (especially a child) then I'd accommodate them the best I can.

The OP is serving to guests who have been to her parties before, not strangers whose tastes she doesn't know. She said in the OP that she usually makes hamburgers *and* hot dogs *and* chicken and everyone usually takes one of each (but I doubt they eat all of that. I know I couldn't eat all three at one meal.). So apparently her guests *do* eat hot dogs. If you are pretty sure your guests will eat what you're serving, then I think one entree option is perfectly fine.

 

[JENOS]

I don't consider the food to make the party. If I wanted to go to their birthday party I would. The food isn't the reason I go.



See above. We had a cake and punch wedding. 150 people came knowing they weren't getting food, drinks, etc. They came for our wedding - not a meal. It makes me sad you think people wouldn't have come if you didn't serve a meal.

It always amazes me on the DIS that people will go to all the trouble to go to parties, weddings, etc. mainly for a meal. I have my own food and lots of restaurants near by - food is simply not a big enough draw to get me to a party. Like many people here have stated, a party is about the people.

If that means I stop for something to eat later, I don't have a problem with that.

The OP took her guests into account. She knows them. She knows they eat hot dogs. She can't account for the off chance of there being someone who will only eat chicken and refuses to eat side dishes without chicken next to it in attendance. She simply puts out a spread and if they can't find SOMETHING to eat, it's really not her problem.

It makes me sad that you had 150 come to your wedding and not have a drop of food anywhere. Trust me the majority weren’t happy. I know, I know they all had smiles on.... I’m sure they invitation said “no gifts please”
I am renaming this Pinocchio thread….
I think people are just arguing with me just to get the last word in, it is YOUR guests so if it works for you then be it. But don’t naive and think that your guests come to your parties and don’t expect to be fed. Smiles are smiles, and I have smiled before and I have stopped at FF on the way home before. We go to a lot of parties and host a lot of parties (doesn’t make me an expert, which someone will comment on) so I seen a lot of variation of menus. I feel appreciated when they serve multiple options. But if I showed up to a party and all they had was punch, I would smile and leave early to stop at McDonalds to feed my family.
OP… serve them hot dogs and tell them “too bad” if they don’t like the menu!

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

no you said
"Hopefully your guests would have been happy to share the day with you and wouldn't have nitpicked the food"

Meaning..... Hey guys here some hot dogs, be happy with it no matter what!
When I re do my vows I’m going to have hot dogs and spicy pork... you are right, screw them if they don’t like the menu! I totally agree with you

OK, clearly it would be impossible for your guests to enjoy sharing the day with you unless the food is spectacular. Point taken.

Whether it is a wedding or a kid's birthday party, it is up to the host to serve not only what they can afford, but what they want to fix given their own dietary and time constraints. If you like hot dogs and spicy pork, knock yourself out. I don't see any problem with having a cookout, BBQ, pig-picking, pasta bar or anything other theme you want for any occasion. It is considerate to provide sides so those who don't like the main entrees can still find something to enjoy, but I don't think you need to provide filet (or chicken or oysters or veal) for guests who might not like pork.

For the record, I doubt we "totally agree" on anything. Once again, you have taken the post out of context to try to make whatever pathetic point you have. Hoping your guests would be more gracious than you are with regards to food choices in no way implies you should "screw" them - I'm sure they know what they are getting into when they accept one of your invitations. Intentionally serving your guests a meal that you find distasteful just to "screw" them is rude, childish and inconsiderate - which is not at all what the OP suggested to do to her family or what I recommended. So I guess we have our answer of what makes a rude, inconsiderate host - thanks for illuminating that so well.

It is possible to accommodate your guests without offering a menu from which they select one of several protein options, particularly if they are your family or friends and you know their eating habits.