Birthday BBQ, does this seem cheap?

[luvmy3]

You keep saying this over and over and we keep answering. It is NOT rude to make do with what is at the party. That is being a polite guest as people are saying - enjoying the party for what it is rather than insisting they should have made it more to your liking. No one has called you rude for not liking hot dogs!

The rude part is saying you won't eat, claiming the host is inconsiderate, comparing the cost of your gift to the meal provided, in general thinking it wasn't worth celebrating the birthday boy/girl because you didn't get the meal you wanted.

Nobody here is a guest though. Nobody here is eating at the OPs telling her that they won't eat unless she serves them chicken. Nobody is walking up to the OP during her party saying "you aren't very considerate of me, I don't eat hotdogs and you don't have anything else that I like". Nobody here said they would behave that way at a party.
The OP asked if it seemed cheap, some people may think so, they may even think the OP is an inconsiderate host for not thinking about people who don't eat hotdogs. They are sharing their opinions, you may not agree with their opinions, but that doesn't make the people saying them rude

 

[CEMinnie]

I know the OP decided on a pasta party but for those who are throwing a party with hot dogs... Monday, I was watching "Grill it with Bobby Flay" the episode was called "Dog Days of Grilling". It made me want to throw a hot dog party!! And I'm not even a hot dog fan.

 

[JENOS]

OK, clearly it would be impossible for your guests to enjoy sharing the day with you unless the food is spectacular. Point taken.

Whether it is a wedding or a kid's birthday party, it is up to the host to serve not only what they can afford, but what they want to fix given their own dietary and time constraints. If you like hot dogs and spicy pork, knock yourself out. I don't see any problem with having a cookout, BBQ, pig-picking, pasta bar or anything other theme you want for any occasion. It is considerate to provide sides so those who don't like the main entrees can still find something to enjoy, but I don't think you need to provide filet (or chicken or oysters or veal) for guests who might not like pork.

For the record, I doubt we "totally agree" on anything. Once again, you have taken the post out of context to try to make whatever pathetic point you have. Hoping your guests would be more gracious than you are with regards to food choices in no way implies you should "screw" them - I'm sure they know what they are getting into when they accept one of your invitations. Intentionally serving your guests a meal that you find distasteful just to "screw" them is rude, childish and inconsiderate - which is not at all what the OP suggested to do to her family or what I recommended. So I guess we have our answer of what makes a rude, inconsiderate host - thanks for illuminating that so well.

It is possible to accommodate your guests without offering a menu from which they select one of several protein options, particularly if they are your family or friends and you know their eating habits.

Do you even read the FP; she had asked if it seemed cheap. Asking us if we thought the menu was good enough. She didn’t want to seem like an inconsiderate host. I guess you missed that part.

By your definition of a host, they should serve what they want and not worry about their guests. I’m talking about reality here, you seem to be in La La land and think your family and friends should not be taken into account when you invite them over. I appreciate all my guest and the effort it took them to get to my parties. I don’t throw something together and think “they should be happy enough that I invited them” but rather am appreciative that they would take time away from their lives to come spend some time with us.

 

[lillygator]

I think I'm missing something. OP asked for opinions and she got them. I didn't see any posters say that they wouldn't go to the party or would tell the host that they were unhappy with the food choices. People gave their opinions which were asked for. I said that I wouldn't eat a hot dog. Does that make me rude and inconsiderate? I would NEVER tell the host, I would make do with sides or eat later. Posters are giving various opinions because the OP asked for them and wanted to know what we thought.

I must be missing it too...I guess disneykat considers peoples own thoughts rude!!

I would never have a hot dog party myself, but if that is what you want to do go for it...I know I would be stopping on the way home for DH...hot dogs would never fill him up!

 

[luvmy3]

Oh - then since the majority here have said a hot dog bar is fine we can stop arguing? I thought the reason we were arguing was because some people think you have to have enough choices to cater to ALL?

And there is nothing wrong with that. When I host a party I make sure I have enough variety so that there is something for all my guests. I think that makes me a good host, and FWIW I love to cook and entertain, so yes the food is an important part of the party to me. I enjoy seeing people eat what I make, and like it. I invite them to celebrate a birthday, but while they are there I am going to entertain them, and that includes providing them great food choices.
Does that mean that everyone must feel and do the same as me, of course not, and it certainly doesn't mean I expect that at every party I'm invited to. However if you (general you) are going to ask "what do you think, or what should I do at my party?", I'm going to tell them what I think you as a host should do at your party. It is possible to think your opinion about hosting is the best/right one and not think any less of someone who hosts their party differently. I don't think you think it is, and thats why you are arguing.


OP, I think the pasta bar sounds cool too. You don't even have to do a ton of different types of pasta but you could go crazy (in a good way) with sauces and add-ins.
To keep things warm without having to borrow a bunch of crockpots you can find disposable foil chafing dishes and sterno at your local party store.

 

[StitchandPooh'sMom]

Do you even read the FP; she had asked if it seemed cheap. Asking us if we thought the menu was good enough. She didn’t want to seem like an inconsiderate host. I guess you missed that part.

By your definition of a host, they should serve what they want and not worry about their guests. I’m talking about reality here, you seem to be in La La land and think your family and friends should not be taken into account when you invite them over. I appreciate all my guest and the effort it took them to get to my parties. I don’t throw something together and think “they should be happy enough that I invited them” but rather am appreciative that they would take time away from their lives to come spend some time with us.

Neither I nor the OP said anything about throwing stuff together and expecting guests to be grateful. Are you reading the same thread the rest of us are?

As a HOST, I am very concerned that my guests feel appreciated and leave the party happy, satisfied, and not stopping by McDonald's because I didn't serve anything they liked. If I don't know their tastes, I ask. But even fixing something as generally well-received as burgers and grilled chicken, it is fairly likely that someone won't want the main entree. So we always have plenty of sides and appetizers just in case - both to provide variety and to ensure that everyone likes something. As a GUEST, I don't care that much what is being served. Even if someone in my family doesn't like hot dogs (which includes me and my two kids), we will most likely not leave hungry, and if we do, it's no big deal. I think a hot dog bar is a cute idea for a family birthday party for a child. The OP stated in the first post that she has served hot dogs before and her family ate them. Did you miss THAT part? She said that when she serves burgers, hot dogs and chicken, everyone wants one of each, not that the hot dogs go to waste so she thought she would fix just hot dogs this time and show them. She's not trying to "screw" her guests as you seem so determined to prove. The hot dogs have been well-received in the past - she wanted to streamline and jazz up the fixings.

As far as your interpretation of my definition of a host (which I bolded so you could find it easily), you are clearly not even on the same planet, let alone hanging out in La La Land. You seem to devote an awful lot of effort to latching onto one word and twisting to try to support your misguided ideas of what the rest of us are doing.

 

[jennyopenny]

WOW! 13 pages on hotdogs.
I never knew people had such strong feelings on the subject.

 

[vickalamode]

Wow, not going to mention any names but some people on here are being total jerks! I'm glad that *my* friends and family come to my parties to hang out and have a good time socially and not because I am feeding them an extravagant meal!

The menu for my last party was meat lasagna, salad and garlic bread.

The menu for the party before that was meatloaf, mashed potatoes and mac & cheese.

I guess according to some people on this thread I am a totally awful hostess because I didn't provide my guests with 10,000 options.

 

[mjkacmom]

Wow!

Back to the OP, I think even the most basic bbq has burgers and dogs. Then, you can add items, such as chicken, ribs, sausage and peppers, etc. Also, there should be sides, but many are inexpensive (make your own cole slaw and potato salad, green salad, bean and corn salad...). It's really not that much to grab a package of burgers at Costco. As for people not eating what they take, that hasn't been my experience. I can't picture someone with a burger and hot dog on one plate. Most take one, plus some sides, and come back for more if still hungry (I know I can't eat a hot dog and a burger, so I pick one).

 

[SaraJayne]

Wow!

Back to the OP, I think even the most basic bbq has burgers and dogs. Then, you can add items, such as chicken, ribs, sausage and peppers, etc. Also, there should be sides, but many are inexpensive (make your own cole slaw and potato salad, green salad, bean and corn salad...). It's really not that much to grab a package of burgers at Costco. As for people not eating what they take, that hasn't been my experience. I can't picture someone with a burger and hot dog on one plate. Most take one, plus some sides, and come back for more if still hungry (I know I can't eat a hot dog and a burger, so I pick one).

OP is having a pasta bar now.

 

[ccgirl]

It makes me sad that you had 150 come to your wedding and not have a drop of food anywhere. Trust me the majority weren’t happy. I know, I know they all had smiles on.... I’m sure they invitation said “no gifts please”
I am renaming this Pinocchio thread….
I think people are just arguing with me just to get the last word in, it is YOUR guests so if it works for you then be it. But don’t naive and think that your guests come to your parties and don’t expect to be fed. Smiles are smiles, and I have smiled before and I have stopped at FF on the way home before. We go to a lot of parties and host a lot of parties (doesn’t make me an expert, which someone will comment on) so I seen a lot of variation of menus. I feel appreciated when they serve multiple options. But if I showed up to a party and all they had was punch, I would smile and leave early to stop at McDonalds to feed my family.
OP… serve them hot dogs and tell them “too bad” if they don’t like the menu!

Really? I host quite a few dinner parties myself. Complete with chargers and placecards and all. Even I would not have been offended to go to this wedding. She stated right on the invite that it was a cake and punch reception. I guess I would have had enough foresight to eat prior to the wedding. Believe it or not, there are many people that would have loved to have been included in her special day even if there wasn't any other food other than cake and punch. A wedding is for two people to be joined in marriage - not to serve food. I am sad you think otherwise.

 

[SaraJayne]

really? I host quite a few dinner parties myself. Complete with chargers and placecards and all. Even i would not have been offended to go to this wedding. She stated right on the invite that it was a cake and punch reception. I guess i would have had enough foresight to eat prior to the wedding. believe it or not, there are many people that would have loved to have been included in her special day even if there wasn't any other food other than cake and punch. A wedding is for two people to be joined in marriage - not to serve food. I am sad you think otherwise.

My thoughts exactly.

 

[JENOS]

My thoughts exactly.

you girls must be twins

 

[kirstenb1]

OP, I think the pasta will be a great solution for all, especially vegetarians. Lots of ideas to choose from!!

 

[ccgirl]

Sorry, didn’t know you used place cards and chargers... please excuse my ignorance since that clearly makes your parties superior than the food-less wedding ones.

Shame on you for making fun of other people’s parties! If they can’t afford chargers (LOL) then you have no right to put them down

I will admit I am sleep deprived today. Not sure if it was meant as a joke but I just wanted to put it out there (in case it wasn't a joke) that I wasn't claiming my parties as superior or putting anyone down.

Heck, I am the one that also had the pasta bar party. I tend to pick a menu that will "fit" with the type of party I am having. At a kids birthday, pizza, hot dogs, pasta etc are perfectly acceptable IMHO. Just plain cake and ice cream is fine too, especially if the party is after lunch.

 

[GinnyEmma]

Pasta sounds great! Lol!

Cake and punch weddings are the norm in my mom's church. Guess it depends on the area. I can't imagine looking down my nose at such a thing. They are dear, kind people.

 

[MagicalMawMaw]

Guess I'm kind in with the budget crowd because a birthday party with hotdogs & fixings, cake & soda sounds great to me. I go to a many a kiddo party w/ cake, sodas & ice cream & chips served & never feel they are cheap.

Matter of fact...a friend of mine just did up this invite for her sons 2nd birthday & I thought it was a cute idea...

" Who let the dog's out for
Nathan 2nd Birthday
Join us for some
Tail waggin fun with
some Treat's , Hot dog's dishes and
Paws-sitvively there will be cake
unless those Doggies get it first.
so come, sit and stay
for a Dog-gone good time
give us a woof
if you can't make it."

No, I'm not a big hotdog fan...but at things like this they really work pretty good. And if I didn't like the menu I could always fill up on cake...especially if it's chocolate!!

 

[Robbiesmommy21]

I don't post very often but I just wanted to remind some people that this is a child's birthday party. For my son I always ask what he wants to eat since it is his special day. If he wants grilled cheese then so be it. Now for other occasions I mostly make what adults like with a childrens option. It is very regional. Here in Texas, you may have to have a big sit down dinner for a wedding in Dallas or Houston but when you get out in the burbs a cake and punch wedding at the church is the norm. Most of my birthday parties have been pizza and your options are pep or cheese.

OP I'm sure you will have a great party. Your friends and family will love you anyway that you do it cause they are there for a birthday party not to gossip about what you did or didn't do.

 

[MagicalMawMaw]

I don't post very often but I just wanted to remind some people that this is a child's birthday party. For my son I always ask what he wants to eat since it is his special day. If he wants grilled cheese then so be it. Now for other occasions I mostly make what adults like with a childrens option. It is very regional. Here in Texas, you may have to have a big sit down dinner for a wedding in Dallas or Houston but when you get out in the burbs a cake and punch wedding at the church is the norm. Most of my birthday parties have been pizza and your options are pep or cheese.

OP I'm sure you will have a great party. Your friends and family will love you anyway that you do it cause they are there for a birthday party not to gossip about what you did or didn't do.

Us Texans must think alike! I like being small town folks with small town ways...it's just more fun that way.

 

[DWGal210]

WOW! 13 pages on hotdogs.
I never knew people had such strong feelings on the subject.

No joke - yikes peeps. I meandered over here to the Budget board & I think I'm reading a thread about hot dogs - guess not.

It looks like what's actually being served on the BB is judgement with a large side of snarky.

Yikes.