Begging and bullying from servers in the MDRs for excellent ratings on the end of cruise survey/comment card

[Mickey of the Villages]

I want to vent for a minute about the begging and bullying from servers in the MDRs for excellent ratings on the end of cruise survey/comment card. You know, at dinner the servers campaign for you to give them an excellent rating by constantly asking if everything is "excellent." Of course on the last couple of nights on the cruise the servers become very direct about getting an excellent rating on the comment card.

My wife and I have been fortunate enough to cruise with DCL many times. The grade-grubbing from the servers is consistently the single biggest service fail on our cruises. Maybe it just hits us differently than others but we are so frustrated by it that we often don't eat in the MDRs. We get a couple of reservations at Palo and then eat room service or up on deck the other nights. For us, it's problem solved - we just remove ourselves from the part of the cruise we hate.


We have a cruise on the Wish booked for September. I would like to try out the MDRs on this ship since I've never seen them before. But, I don't want to hear about excellent ratings. My first night at dinner when the servers bring up the excellent spiel I plan on telling them as politely as I can that I don't want them to bring up the survey/comment card again. If they do, we'll leave. It is so tedious to me to hear this over-and-over again. I know Disney is aware of this problem and does nothing about it because for many of our cruises the survey/comment card includes a question asking if you were pressured by your server to provide an excellent score.

And for what it's worth, my wife and I always rate the service as excellent (though it rarely is) and always tip more than the recommended amount and/or bring gifts for our servers. This post isn't about whether the service is excellent and it is not about tipping. It's about the pressure campaign that servers run to get an excellent score. The blame for this has to be placed at Disney's feet. What, they can operate a 341m-long, 144,000t cruise ship with 1,250 guest staterooms to accommodate up to 4,000 guests but they can't figure out a way to ACTUALLY provide excellent service instead of making their servers gaslight their customers?

In my opinion far too much responsibility for one's MDR experience is placed on the server. It is our understanding that any complaint about MDR food is directed at the server. If a server believes someone is not enjoying themselves they are supposed to bring other dishes or more desserts so that the diner gets something they like. I mean, it's all Hyatt-catering coming out of the same industrial kitchens on the ship - I'm certain cooking on the ships outside of the upcharge restaurants is a soulless affair. I don't think there's anything the servers can do about the quality or type of food so what they're left with is to increase the quantity. Dumb.

I understand that others may think the service on the ships is excellent. I won't argue with them; I think this a matter of personal preference. In my experience the service is not excellent but not because of the servers. They are trying to feed hundreds of people at a time in a tightly packed catering hall setting and at times performing or dancing too. What does one expect? My issue is not with the service itself - it's with the system in which begging for excellent scores is required for the servers to feel safe in their position.

 

[freshmanjs]

I agree that it's annoying. I think there are easier / more productive ways to deal with it than avoiding the MDR. For example, on the first night, you could just say that you are aware of the comment card issue and you really prefer not to be reminded.

 

[I_love_Cruising]

I'm with you, on all these issues.
And I often wonder if the 'every complaint about anything happening in the MDR' part of their spiel is part of the gas-lightning too.
Next cruises, I will fill out the card honestly, if the food was bad I will say so. If service is just okay, I will say so.
If passengers keep giving good reviews, because we are pressured to do so, we reward and encourage their gas-lightning.

 

[darnheather]

Granted I've only done three cruises, but I've only gotten the spiel once per trip. Usually it was done in a funny way.

 

[Mango7100]

Yea I don’t like the high pressure tactics. We did a NCL cruise last month, and not one person mentioned ratings or the survey. It was so nice! We were emailed a survey a few days in return.

 

[meremac]

Wow! I've definitely had servers who've mentioned the comment card and some who've stressed its importance repeatedly, but I've never been bullied by my servers or manipulated by them into questioning my own sanity. That's, to say the least, egregious, and I hope you reported that. I'm so sorry you had that experience so many times.

 

[TAX GUY]

I've just done my first and only cruise, (on the Wish). Not once did our server (head server, server or assistant server) ask us or hint about the comment card. The comment card was unknown to me until the CD mentioned it on day 3 (of a 4 day cruise). And that was even just a matter of "if" we wanted to complete it, and where to drop them. Maybe it's a new (non) approach they're taking?

 

[MouseOfCards]

We're used to the ratings requests, but I believe the servers on DCL were the loudest and most consistent.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

For us as a platinum, we have only gotten the spiel on the last night on each cruise. It doesn't bother us. We expect it. I feel sorry for the servers that DCL puts them in that predicament and would never hold it against them and stop going to MDRs because of it.

 

[JWelch62]

Also Platinum. Also not really a big concern for us. I usually let the servers give their spiel, let them know I am aware of their concerns, and that's it. I've never felt badgered.

 

[Karin1984]

It is a complicated game. On one hand you do not want to blame the servers for carrying out a emotional blackmail request from the company, on the other hand... how else can you make it stop?

I think your tactic is the best. Tell them you do not want to hear it, if they keep going, leave the restaurant and get some food elsewhere. That's probably the only way.

For me, I know the service can never be excellent, because I am a European, I would like a European approach to serving me at dinner: Just bring me the food and leave me alone. Do not come to my table every 5 seconds to ask how I am doing. It's an American company, with American service and American customs. So, they are most likely going to lose points here.
There are more things I am not a fan of, like stimulating to throw a way the food if you do not like it or ordering more than you need, because you can on an all inclusive ship. There is so much food waste and obesity already in the world. Again, not the servers fault, but it's the game.

With flaws in the rules and procedures the servers have to adhere to, it's not possible to give excellent service. (Imho)

 

[cvjw]

We just always say that we are going to give them excellent reviews and they never mention it again. Puts their mind at ease and I know DCL puts immense pressure on them for the guests to rate their service excellent. Even if the service isn’t the best, they still get excellent ratings from us since it affects their pay.

 

[freshmanjs]

gas-lightning.

That word - I don't think it means what you think it means.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

With flaws in the rules and procedures the servers have to adhere to, it's not possible to give excellent service. (Imho)

Why fault the servers for procedures they can't control?

 

[Karin1984]

Why fault the servers for procedures they can't control?

What would your solution be? As I said it is a tricky game.

If you give the servers an excellent rating because they carried out the procedures to the letter without considering the guest, then what is the rating worth? The company will assume the procedures are what the guest wants. Even when the guest doesn't. That is not going to break the cycle.

It is like discussions about tipping in the US, everyone seems to agree that it is an unfair process, but what can you do to make a change?

 

[foolish-mortal]

This is one of my least favorite things, too. It was really bad on our last cruise in January. It was mentioned every single night. And they kept saying "remember when I brought you that extra dessert, etc.". I actually felt like the focus of our dinners became more about their service and us constantly acknowledging that they are providing excellent service than the dinner itself. It also made me feel like I couldn't ask for something different, even if I hadn't liked it, or have a single issue with anything that was presented. There would have had to be some kind of human sacrifice to make sure the correction was "excellent". As sweet as they were - it was way too much and kind of exhausting.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

What would your solution be? As I said it is a tricky game.

If you give the servers an excellent rating because they carried out the procedures to the letter without considering the guest, then what is the rating worth? The company will assume the procedures are what the guest wants. Even when the guest doesn't. That is not going to break the cycle.

It is like discussions about tipping in the US, everyone seems to agree that it is an unfair process, but what can you do to make a change?

Have you considered having a conversation the very first night of a cruise and tell the server and asst server that you want your food fast with no interaction from them? I'm pretty sure that they would be happy to oblige.

 

[DisneyCowgirl]

Wow! I've definitely had servers who've mentioned the comment card and some who've stressed its importance repeatedly, but I've never been bullied by my servers or manipulated by them into questioning my own sanity. That's, to say the least, egregious, and I hope you reported that. I'm so sorry you had that experience so many times.

I did send an email to DCL after, and explained in detail our frustration in a survey they sent me after the cruise.

For me, I know the service can never be excellent, because I am a European, I would like a European approach to serving me at dinner: Just bring me the food and leave me alone. Do not come to my table every 5 seconds to ask how I am doing. It's an American company, with American service and American customs. So, they are most likely going to lose points here.

This is what we like too--the best service is almost unnoticeable. This is what I expect in American restaurants as well (nice ones anyway).

On our December cruise (Wonder), the pressure was relentless. We were a table of 7, and we could not hold a conversation due to constant interruptions of "is everything excellent" and the like--I am not exaggerating. Each person on the service team would go around and ask each person individually if everything was excellent multiple times. I am usually very patient with this, and can just almost ignore it, but this time I was ready to throw up my hands and say, "would you just leave me alone already!" My mother, for health reasons, is very deliberate about what she chooses to eat or not eat, and they constantly pressured her to eat more and order more. It made her feel bad. And they would always push dessert, which she was really trying to skip. We explained more than once her concerns and asked them to stop pushing food on her, but they did not stop.

We told them repeatedly that we would give excellent ratings and that we wanted them to stop, but they just wouldn't.

We cancelled this summer's Alaska cruise as a direct result of this experience. I did get OP back on the ship for the Podcast cruise, but he refused to step foot in an MDR. Two nights at Palo? I didn't mind that at all.

 

[Karin1984]

Have you considered having a conversation the very first night of a cruise and tell the server and asst server that you want your food fast with no interaction from them? I'm pretty sure that they would be happy to oblige.

See the post under yours.

I think they might be able to not do the excellent spiel. I think they have a harder time to surpress to be at your table constantly and pressuring to eat more.

Yes, I will ask, but I doubt they are able to do it. As they seem to be are ordered to do it a certain way over checking with the guest first.

How can someone give excellent service if they do not ask me what I expect?
One of the first things I learned in customer service training: Never assume, because then you make an *** out of u and me

 

[kpavlovic87]

It is a complicated game. On one hand you do not want to blame the servers for carrying out a emotional blackmail request from the company, on the other hand... how else can you make it stop?

I think your tactic is the best. Tell them you do not want to hear it, if they keep going, leave the restaurant and get some food elsewhere. That's probably the only way.

For me, I know the service can never be excellent, because I am a European, I would like a European approach to serving me at dinner: Just bring me the food and leave me alone. Do not come to my table every 5 seconds to ask how I am doing. It's an American company, with American service and American customs. So, they are most likely going to lose points here.
There are more things I am not a fan of, like stimulating to throw a way the food if you do not like it or ordering more than you need, because you can on an all inclusive ship. There is so much food waste and obesity already in the world. Again, not the servers fault, but it's the game.

With flaws in the rules and procedures the servers have to adhere to, it's not possible to give excellent service. (Imho)

I'm American and I HATE being bothered. Restaurant, cab ride, stores. Unless I seek you out purposefully, I don't need you. I'm just very antisocial. And here we are going on a Disney cruise!