Because my 5 yr. old runs, climbs, jumps etc. - why does that make him a "hoodlum"?!?

[goofy's friends]

I have to say I am SO sick of society in general trying to make our little boys sit quietly and "behave" That is NOT what they are made for. Poor little Luke. I have to say I don't think I could have kept my mouth shut with anyone calling my child names. And if it were my parents they would not be seeing me or my child until they apologized for doing so. That is just so wrong. Even if they do think he is a brat (which it does not sound like he is) they have no right to make derogatory comments about him, especially ones that he can hear.

I am sorry you went through this and had such a tough holiday.

ITA!!!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I haven't read all the posts, but I do think that when family is too critical of our children for normal kid activities that it gets too tiring and stressful and it's only natural to limit contact with them. We've had to do that for awhile until our youngest is at a better stage. This is after having some rough vacations with mainly my sister.

I love my sister and I get along with her well, but she seems to have forgotten what her kids were like when they were growing up (think handfuls at best...hellions at times). My BIL has little patience and didn't even with his own kids and doesn't now with his grandkids (my sister is a lot older than I am).

I spent a lot of time with her and our mom at WDW about a year and a half ago. Our mom was fine, for the most part. She understood the energy level of my son and saw that I was trying to deal with Jake, who is a difficult child (esp then--he's improved quite a bit now). My sister did seem to notice how Jake went with the flow a lot during the almost 2 weeks that we were in Orlando, but only noticed when he wasn't behaving. Selective vision, it seems. Then my sister and BIL invited my whole family to the beach for a week last summer. That was fun...NOT! It was in a way, but spending time in a 2 BR timeshare, trying to keep Jake occupied, afraid that he would say or do something did not make for a very relaxing vacation. We won't be doing that in the near future.

It sounds to me like Luke is being a normal kid. Kids do move around, make noise and sometimes act up.

In my case, even when Jake was "behaving", just him singing quietly bothered my sister. What was the child supposed to do--never make a sound? I can understand not wanting to listen to screaming, but there were 3 adults (my sister, our mother, and me) and then Jake. The 3 adults were talking all the time, having a good time, but Jake was supposed to just sit quietly and do nothing? When expectations for the kids are way off base there is no way that they can please the adults.

Sorry for going off on my tangent...you hit a nerve! I'll back away slowly!

 

[jgmklmhem]

If children can not be themselves around family, when exactly is that going to happen?

Just wanted to repeat this part again. I mean we try and teach our children to stay true to themselves and then around family of all people some try to force them into some little mold of what they think they should be. I am soooo glad my family accepts my children for who they are one who is quiet and wants a book in her hand all the time and another who could give the Energizer Bunny a run for his money. This doesn't mean that they both don't behave pretty well when they need to like at church or at a stranger's house. I just find it sad that family of all people cannot accept Luke in the case of the OP for all he is worth. That doesn't even begin to touch on what I think about their comments to both Luke and your older daughter, but this is the DIS so I will refrain.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Just wanted to repeat this part again. I mean we try and teach our children to stay true to themselves and then around family of all people some try to force them into some little mold of what they think they should be. I am soooo glad my family accepts my children for who they are one who is quiet and wants a book in her hand all the time and another who could give the Energizer Bunny a run for his money. This doesn't mean that they both don't behave pretty well when they need to like at church or at a stranger's house. I just find it sad that family of all people cannot accept Luke in the case of the OP for all he is worth. That doesn't even begin to touch on what I think about their comments to both Luke and your older daughter, but this is the DIS so I will refrain.

That is very true. I know with my son, I would correct him when he was misbehaving, but the energy level was still there. All these traits that drive us crazy when they are children are traits that can serve them so well as older children and adults, as long as they use them well when they are older. The energy, drive, determination, independence, questioning, and spunk are good traits. It's just not what some adults what to listen to and put up with. Sad, isn't it?

 

[mickeymo]

Lurking through this thread...

No talking, sitting still, listening to other people drone on and on about something you don't quite understand for several hours at a time...hmm, sounds like jury service...

That's the best analogy I can come up with.... And how many adults can serve on a jury without figeting or squirming or wanting to release a bunch of energy at the end of the day????

 

[Tigger&Belle]

And they pay a person to serve on jury duty and most people only have to do it every several years and you have to be over 18yo! And many people do everything in their power to get out of serving!

 

[froglady]

OP, I can relate to this.

I have a SIL & BIL who live near WDW. I haven't stayed with them, with my children, in over 20 years for this very reason.

BIL was a widower with 2 grown, and 1 HS aged child when SIL married him. They have no children together, yet HE is the one who was constantly hovering over my DD when she was small. Of course, he hovered over everyone (he got annoyed when I read the Sunday paper, folded it neatly, but didn't put the sections back in the correct order ) but it was worse with a child. I couldn't relax for a single minute, so just started staying at a hotel, and meeting them for dinner at WDW.

The funny thing is, we get together for a family reunion every year, and when he's staying away from home, or with us, he's much more relaxed, so it's not the children's behavior, but the fear that they might somehow damage his "stuff" or make a mess that makes him uncomfortable.