Bec & Chris - Wishes Wedding 03/01/11 WP/WHR/SCP - Some extra pics and **COMPLETE**

[Petals & Pixie Dust]

Love your dress! You look great in the other ones too!

 

[Pirate's Princess]

Oh I love your dress. It's very greco-roman, which I love. You look like a goddess in it! Gotta love DB.

 

[BecBennett]

Oh I love your dress. It's very greco-roman, which I love. You look like a goddess in it! Gotta love DB.

Oh you've made me all shy now!

Love your dress! You look great in the other ones too!

Ohh love your dress!! Very glamorous and unique!!

Thankyou!

 

[pezaddict231]

Your dress is beautiful! When it's the one, it's the one, and it's even better when you can get a deal.

Wow that is a lot for tuxes! Is that what they normally cost? I feel like you probably could buy one for close to that, but then does your DF really need a tux? Tough call.

 

[BecBennett]

To be honest if that's roughly what it costs to buy the tux, we'd probably buy DF's and let the groomsmen decide if they'd prefer to rent or buy. DF could do with a new tux/suit that was made for him.

For his grandmother's funeral at the beginning of the year, we had to get an old suit he'd had in his cupboard for ages altered so it would fit him. It was still a little short in the legs and snug around the waist...

I've never actually priced a tux or a suit before, but after my friends wedding where they rented them all, I think I assumed they were at least around the $300 mark to buy

You know what they say when we assume though...

 

[GoonieBride]

your dress is gorgeous!!! i love it!!

 

[BecBennett]

Just found out from DF, who found out from FFIL who found out off FSMIL (step mother in law ) that my shoes and handbag still haven't arrived at the DB where I ordered them, so that's why I haven't received them here yet!

So, FSMIL is going to go abuse them this week, and find out why they're taking so long.

On a side note, I'm looking forward to this weekend, it's my sister's birthday, so my mum and I are taking her away for a weekend to a little coastal town, where we're going to spend a day at a day spa being pampered and what not.

I'm getting an oxy facial, a swedish massage, a scalp massage, a brow shaping and an eyelash tint, the package that I'm getting also includes a foot massage, but I'm going to try and swap it out for something... I have something against people touching my feet

I might see if I can get my makeup done, and get pictures taken of it if I like how it turns out.

 

[pezaddict231]

Have an awesome spa day, that sounds heavenly!

I hope FSMIL gets somewhere with them, that's crazy that it's taking so long!

 

[Chilly]

To buy or rent?

That was to rent these:
http://www.carolynallens.com/for_him/tuxedos/black_tuxedos/trafalgar.htm
http://www.carolynallens.com/for_him/tuxedos/grey_tuxedos/somerset_526.htm

The grey one being the more expensive.

LOVE your wedding dress it looks fab on you.

 

[Chilly]

Oh and enjoy your weekend.

 

[GoonieBride]

wow sounds like fun! can i come??

 

[BecBennett]

That was to rent these:
http://www.carolynallens.com/for_him/tuxedos/black_tuxedos/trafalgar.htm
http://www.carolynallens.com/for_him/tuxedos/grey_tuxedos/somerset_526.htm

The grey one being the more expensive.

LOVE your wedding dress it looks fab on you.

Thanks!

wow sounds like fun! can i come??

Sure, you better leave now though to make sure you get here on time!

So DF and I started discussing stuff again. He has said that he wants us to pay for the groomsmen and bridesmaid's clothes Every wedding I've ever been in I've paid for my own clothes, hair and makeup... Every wedding he's been in - (one) he's had his suit and shoes bought for him, so that means we have to pay for our attendants...

Now I always thought that if we could afford to do this we would, but that it would be a nice added bonus for them... Now DF has decided that we can't ask them to be our attendants, and expect them to pay for anything... I think I'm more annoyed by this because we're both going to be in a wedding party in April, and I know we'll be paying for our own clothes (and hair and makeup for me) so if I hadn't brought it up until after then, he may have had a different opinion on it maybe I'll just leave it for now, and try bringing it up with him around then...

 

[ChocoKat]

Thanks!
So DF and I started discussing stuff again. He has said that he wants us to pay for the groomsmen and bridesmaid's clothes Every wedding I've ever been in I've paid for my own clothes, hair and makeup... Every wedding he's been in - (one) he's had his suit and shoes bought for him, so that means we have to pay for our attendants...

Now I always thought that if we could afford to do this we would, but that it would be a nice added bonus for them... Now DF has decided that we can't ask them to be our attendants, and expect them to pay for anything... I think I'm more annoyed by this because we're both going to be in a wedding party in April, and I know we'll be paying for our own clothes (and hair and makeup for me) so if I hadn't brought it up until after then, he may have had a different opinion on it maybe I'll just leave it for now, and try bringing it up with him around then...

Hmmmm DH had to rent his own tux for his brother's wedding, and he has been a groomsman before and had to rent his tux each and every time. My BIL offered to pay for our room when we went to their wedding, but we graciously declined since we know a wedding is very expensive.

I can see your DF's side, I mean if a bunch of the attendants there have been former grooms or brides that have paid for his tux I can see how he would feel uncomfortable making them pay for theirs.

I also see your point, and it might def break the bank being a destination wedding and all.

Maybe you two need to sit down and draw exact budget figures and see on black and white how much the tuxes and dresses will cost for the attendants.

This is one of the reasons why we decided to not have any attendants for our do-over, we didn't want to force people to buy or rent an specific outfit and we cannot afford buying everybody an outfit, so off the attendant idea went.

 

[BecBennett]

Yeah, I'd happily not have any one, I could let one of them be our whitness and let the other organise the hens night, because really that's all they'll be doing any way, and then they could wear what they want to the wedding, and no one hs to pay for anything, but DF must have as many groomsmen as possible... He'd probably have every male we're inviting standing up there if I hadn't put my foot down and I know that if DF has groomsmen, my friends and sister would be extremely offended if I didn't also have them...

I might need to show DF our budget and see if that helps... lol, wait, that made it sound like he has no say in anything money wise... Well he does, he just doesn't understand that a bouquet costs around $200-$300 so he doesn't see where our $20 000 budget has gone...

 

[malibustacey]

In the UK the bridesmaids usually have to pay for their own dresses... its a hard choice to make isnt it - because it would make the costs add up very qucikly having to buy for groomsmen and bridesmaids.

Like you said, perhaps its best to sit down and plan out the budget stuff for the wedding first, see how you go with that then you will be able to decide whether you can afford to pay for the attire for the rest of the wedding party.

Oh and i love your dress, its stunning- i love the back of it! You know when its the one- you dont want to take it off! (oh and i love the big princessy dress too hehe i have seen that one advertised on Davids bridal) hehe. Yay isnt it great when you get your dress!??

 

[BecBennett]

Usually bridesmaid's pay for their own stuff here too, but just my luck, the one wedding DF was in, was for a generous couple who paid for their attendants...
Df isn't having the groom from that wedding as one of his groomsmen, so maybe there's room for convincing yet...
I've been trying not to say anything about it, so he'd either forget, or so he wouldn't have a chance to take a really strong stance on it - because I know if he does that there'd be no changing his mind! - but I couldn't help it, last night I slipped out that if we were paying for their clothes then we'd only have 2 each, he didn't like that either, but I just felt like I had to say something!

On a different - slightly ranting side - I'm getting problems from one person I really thought I never would - my sister! Originally she was going to be one of my bridesmaids, and my best friend was going to be my MOH (I was hers a few years back too, it was always the plan) but my sister has assumed from the get go, that she'd be the MOH, this was ok though, because by having a maid of honour and a matron of honour, DF would be able to have 2 best men, because he couldn't decide between his two good friends, we'd just have different jobs for each of them - whitnesses, hen's night and bucks party organisers, speech givers and so on. No big deal.
Then when explaining to my sister the colour of the bridesmaid dresses I wanted she said "I always pictured myself in blue..." like she expected me to change my whole wedding colours just so she could wear blue! I just pretended that I thought she was joking and laughed and said, well you'll look lovely in a blue wedding dress at your wedding!
Now, she's not married, not engaged or planning a wedding or anything, she's been to a few weddings, but never been in any, she very well may have looked up certain things and the like, but yesterday she started giving me grief that we're having a destination wedding and not paying for everyone's flights and accom!!
This was never an option, and we never pretended that it could be an option, after a bit of an argument about the correct ettiquette for destination weddings I ended it with "If people want to be at our wedding they will be, if they dont want to then they wont go" and left it at that, but then that coupled with DF's thoughts on attendants reminded me of when I asked her what she thought about paying $140AU for the bridesmaid dresses, he answer was "That's pretty reasonable for a long dress" after reminding her what the dress looked like (tea length one pictured earlier) she was pretty dismissive and said "I'm sure you'll pick out a lovely dress for me to wear" I'm pretty sure I may have snapped something like "Yes, that one!" back at her, but I don't remember anyway, it's got me to thinking that because she's never been in a wedding before, she most likely doesn't know what's expected of her in the way of what she needs to pay for...
So my thoughts are, over this weekend I'll speak to my mum alone and see what she thinks, and maybe she can mention to my sister that the bridesmaid's pay their own way the whole way, so she knows that it's not just me being a tight ****... That way if we do buy the dresses and tuxes she'll know it's not the norm and we've done something nice for her, and the next time she's in a wedding party she'll know what to expect....

Ok, rant over. I do love my sister and we spend a lot of time together, but I just think that her thoughts on my wedding are a little twisted...

Oh and you know another thing that annoys me! I'm sick of people telling me when we should have our wedding so it suits them! FFIL wants us to have it late March/April so his kids are on school holidays, and they live in the US, so they have it the easiest already! FMIL wants us to have it on the 10th of March, so it will make her holidays easier to organise, DF's aunty wants us to get married next year, because they're already going to be in the US then! I'm just going to say that the 2nd of March is the only day we could book our photographer, and leave it at that!

I rarely get stressed, and really I don't think I'm stressed now, but sometimes you just have to let it all out to complete strangers!

 

[Chilly]

That's why we are here

 

[shippedtosea]

Oh deary dear. I know how you feel I am having issues with my party as well. I don't know if there are duties for MOH (I know there are...I just don't know them) but i'm SURE my MOH will not have anything to do with them hahahaha. She also said to me "Oh i'm sure I will like the dress, just as long as its not like yellow or something!" so I feel you on the whole MOH issue headache. blah. I also am pretty sure she doesn't realize she is paying for her dress!

I am also having the whole "you should get married on this date" thing. My friend was angry at me last night because my wedding is too close to her b-day! My other friend who will be in Australia at the time asked me why couldn't I wait til July. People are crazy! and totally don't understand weddings. Best of luck dealing with everyones "issues". Its YOUR day and everyone will have to work it out so they can make it. Thats should not be your problem.

hope everything works out!

 

[ChocoKat]

Hey! Did I mention that you are getting married on my b-day?
I might even be at WDW then to celebrate with friends.

Don't let the demands of the family get to you, it is good to rant to help with it though. I understand that asking to make a trip across the big pond is a big imposition, but truly it ISN'T mandatory and you won't send the firing squad to them if they can't make it.

I have already prepared myself mentally and emotionally for all the whining I will have to listen to at first, but I know I will have to be sweet but firm with them, after all I love everybody I am inviting.

I guess I have it easy since we have already been married for 10 whole years and pre-established ourselves as very independent from both our families. They know we'll do it regardless or what they say and that we will do it when we want to do it. If they can't make it, no biggie, we won't be upset, we will dearly miss them of course and we'll make sure to send photos and tell them all about it later.

I just would never dream of telling someone how and when or where to hold their wedding it is their day, and if I don't like it or can't wing it, then I won't, what's the drama?

Maybe you need to sit with your sister and have your mom mediate, just explain to her how things are normally done and tell her that you truly appreciate her being there after all is said and done.

I find myself nearly apologizing to everybody I invite before I even start explaining all about the VR.

 

[BecBennett]

That's why we are here

Naaaw, thankyou

Oh deary dear. I know how you feel I am having issues with my party as well. I don't know if there are duties for MOH (I know there are...I just don't know them) but i'm SURE my MOH will not have anything to do with them hahahaha. She also said to me "Oh i'm sure I will like the dress, just as long as its not like yellow or something!" so I feel you on the whole MOH issue headache. blah. I also am pretty sure she doesn't realize she is paying for her dress!

I am also having the whole "you should get married on this date" thing. My friend was angry at me last night because my wedding is too close to her b-day! My other friend who will be in Australia at the time asked me why couldn't I wait til July. People are crazy! and totally don't understand weddings. Best of luck dealing with everyones "issues". Its YOUR day and everyone will have to work it out so they can make it. Thats should not be your problem.

hope everything works out!

I know, I really don't care who can and cant make it, I want my parents and DF's parents, and everyone else is a bonus!

I hate lieing to people, but I can feel a few white lies bubbling at the surface all the time, including the one about our photographer

Hey! Did I mention that you are getting married on my b-day?
I might even be at WDW then to celebrate with friends.

Don't let the demands of the family get to you, it is good to rant to help with it though. I understand that asking to make a trip across the big pond is a big imposition, but truly it ISN'T mandatory and you won't send the firing squad to them if they can't make it.

I have already prepared myself mentally and emotionally for all the whining I will have to listen to at first, but I know I will have to be sweet but firm with them, after all I love everybody I am inviting.

I guess I have it easy since we have already been married for 10 whole years and pre-established ourselves as very independent from both our families. They know we'll do it regardless or what they say and that we will do it when we want to do it. If they can't make it, no biggie, we won't be upset, we will dearly miss them of course and we'll make sure to send photos and tell them all about it later.

I just would never dream of telling someone how and when or where to hold their wedding it is their day, and if I don't like it or can't wing it, then I won't, what's the drama?

Maybe you need to sit with your sister and have your mom mediate, just explain to her how things are normally done and tell her that you truly appreciate her being there after all is said and done.

I find myself nearly apologizing to everybody I invite before I even start explaining all about the VR.

It's going to be your birthday?!? It would be just my luck that we'll see each other on the day of, and I'll completely forget, until the middle of the reception, then it will be all I can think about! Don't you dare ruin my reception!!!! J/K

I hope I never hear myself apologise to someone because they can't make it to my wedding... That just seems wrong...

BTW, I had an awesome weekend, I probably wont fork out the money to get an oxy facial again, until I need it, my mum looked really great after hers, so it definately works, just not so much if you don't have wrinkles yet

I think I'm going to plan my bachelorette party there, it was so good!