Bar packages options...HELP PLEASE!

[NOMNOMNOMS]

Hi All!
I need help with our bar package. We will be having our reception at ADH. We want to offer open Bar or a "ticket" option for certain guests and the wedding party. Does anyone know if this is possible? Has anyone else done this?

 

[princesswendy720]

I don't think it's possible to only have open bar for certain guests (if I'm understanding your question correctly). Open bar is charged per person for everyone 21+ (even if they don't drink). You can do bill on consumption (BOC) and you will only be charged for the drinks that are consumed during the event. I think you can also do open bar for the cocktail hour then switch to BOC for all or part of your reception.

 

[NOMNOMNOMS]

I don't think it's possible to only have open bar for certain guests (if I'm understanding your question correctly). Open bar is charged per person for everyone 21+ (even if they don't drink). You can do bill on consumption (BOC) and you will only be charged for the drinks that are consumed during the event. I think you can also do open bar for the cocktail hour then switch to BOC for all or part of your reception.

Thanks for your response princesswendy720! I wanted to do a cash bar but have some type of way to be able to pay for our wedding party and our families drinks. I wasn't sure if they were able to offer open bar to select guest and having those select guests distinguishable by a bracelet or some sort. I was also thinking of a "ticket" option...where different colored tickets were good for different types of drinks, ex: red ticket= mixed drink, blue ticket= beer, wine, etc...I def feel like i should at least providing water and soda O_O...

 

[sambycat]

sooooooooo...... give some people tickets and some people not?

if thats what you want i'm sure they can do something to charge certain peoples tabs back to you, i've heard of people doing "tickets" of some sort to cover their guests valet parking for example. good luck!

 

[NOMNOMNOMS]

sooooooooo...... give some people tickets and some people not?

if thats what you want i'm sure they can do something to charge certain peoples tabs back to you, i've heard of people doing "tickets" of some sort to cover their guests valet parking for example. good luck!

sambycat- lol yes...you know how it goes...we have friends of family members coming. I mainly would just like to be able to take care of our close family and bridal party......about 1/2 of our guests are traveling from Seattle, VA, TX...everyone else is local to Florida...

 

[sambycat]

ask your planner, although i'm sure miss manners and martha stewart might gently suggest you consider a bar option within your budget to host all your guests equally?

anyways, we did 2 signature drinks for our brunch reception. i was so stressed over budget that i asked for just coffee/tea/juices with the danish at the pre-reception time (thinking it wasn't very long, the wow factor would be greater when we went into the reception space, blah blah blah) then they ended up putting our food set up on the whitehall patio, WHERE EVERYONE WAS WAITING FOR US, next to a bar that apparently wasn't going to serve people until brunch time. how embarrasing!!!!! later i heard some folks thought we didn't have a hosted bar at all! groan from embarrassment!

just curious - and not trying to be overly nosey - but what will the other folks think when some people have tickets and they don't? i guess i might just feel kind of insulted by that as a guest, as i have been to parties like that, although not a wedding? and i guess insulting is totally the wrong word.... i guess, just like i was not one of the "in crowd"! have an all cash liquor bar and just give some people $$$!

let us know what you decide!

 

[chryscrazy]

I would say insulted is the right word. I would be very insulted. Have you already invited these people? I would rather just not invite people if I didn't feel like they were worth paying for their drinks.

If it's an option for you to not invite those people, it would lower your budget overall and then you would have more money for the bar. I say if you haven't sent invites (or save the dates) just say sorry, it's an intimate wedding.

 

[Jilian]

I agree that it migh be offensive to guests who didn't get tickets. IMO open bar is an all or nothing type thing. Now if you wanted to buy a round for your bridal party t show your appreciation then that is a different story, but allowing only some to drink for free while other have to pay may lead to hurt feelings.

 

[MissManners]

ask your planner, although i'm sure miss manners and martha stewart might gently suggest you consider a bar option within your budget to host all your guests equally?

Who me????

 

[NOMNOMNOMS]

All the opinions are noted! I thank everyone for their comments...The wedding is 1 month away and we are paying for it all on our own. Unfortunately it has turn into a situation where the parents have invited their friends and associates that we barely know, (we have already turned away many others) I know that I don't want to pay the for the whole time for them to drink without even knowing if they will or not... 1/2 of our guests are local and will be driving back directly after the wedding so I know they wouldn't be drinking as much (at least not enough to make open bar worth the money for them). The other half has traveled cross country and are close immediate family. I see both points of view...personally I would not feel slighted if someone that I was not very close to...let alone have never met decided not to pay for my drinks. I however would feel blessed to be part of their event. As we all know Disney is not cheap. We are over our estimated guest count because of the extra guests from the parents. I would never have it on display that we are only paying for some people to drink. I was wondering if there was a way to make the bartender aware that only the bridal party and parents tabs were on us. And if we were able to do a ticket system, yes everyone would receive a ticket for at least one or 2 drinks. Some others would just receive more than that.

 

[NOMNOMNOMS]

sooooooooo...... give some people tickets and some people not?

if thats what you want i'm sure they can do something to charge certain peoples tabs back to you, i've heard of people doing "tickets" of some sort to cover their guests valet parking for example. good luck!

sambycat that's exactly what i was eluding to...if there was some way to have a cash bar for all guests but also make sure that we would be able to take care of others tabs at the end. Of course all done discretely.

 

[Jilian]

Since the parents have invited friends without your consent maybe they'd be willing to cover the cost per head of their friends? That bothers me when people just invite others without consulting the people who are paying! How frustrating!

Is it possible that you could give some money to one of the parents and have him or her buy drinks for the evening, then just make it known to the bridal party that dad or mom will be buying drinks for the night?

 

[Harley_Quinn1986]

NOMNOMNOMS, I know exactly what you are talking about I recently stood in a wedding where the bride and groom gave only their family and bridal party tickets for 3 free drinks each. They passed them out very quietly so no one seemed to notice. It didn't seem like anyone outside of the bridal party or family noticed either that we were paying w/ these tickets. Well, except DF but he didn't mind paying for his own drink He understood it was a thank you gesture from the couple. I do see others points on possibly offending some but hopefully they will just be happy to share in your special moment. If not I'd say just try to do it as hush hush as possible??

 

[Mindyjoy]

Just have to add my two cents that it may not be a good idea to pay for some drinks and not the others. Maybe you can treat your bridal party and parents to some drinks at another time, like rehearsal dinner or brunch the next morning (mimosas), or get them all a special gift to show your appreciation.

 

[NOMNOMNOMS]

Just have to add my two cents that it may not be a good idea to pay for some drinks and not the others. Maybe you can treat your bridal party and parents to some drinks at another time, like rehearsal dinner or brunch the next morning (mimosas), or get them all a special gift to show your appreciation.

Thanks for your input! I really do appreciate it! We are giving them gifts...as far as the rehearsal and brunch...we had to eliminate those as well due to the extra guests. I am totally bummed. We are just trying to explore our options as well take care of those closest to us. My DF related it to being invited to someones Birthday or celebration at a restaurant and expecting them to buy your drinks...in that context it made sense. I would always come celebrate my best friends and families birthdays out but always paid my own way. We are not asking them to contribute for the meal...we just ask that they pay for their own alcoholic beverages if they chose to drink.

NOMNOMNOMS, I know exactly what you are talking about I recently stood in a wedding where the bride and groom gave only their family and bridal party tickets for 3 free drinks each. They passed them out very quietly so no one seemed to notice. It didn't seem like anyone outside of the bridal party or family noticed either that we were paying w/ these tickets. Well, except DF but he didn't mind paying for his own drink He understood it was a thank you gesture from the couple. I do see others points on possibly offending some but hopefully they will just be happy to share in your special moment. If not I'd say just try to do it as hush hush as possible??

Harley_Quinn1986- This is exactly what I had in mind. thank you soo much for sharing this experience with me. I know personally I would not mind either. I paid for my own drinks at my cousins wedding (who is like a brother to me). I know his parents took care of the bridal parties bill and all the other guests had to pay. This wasn't an issue. I don't think anyone knew either, I just happened to know because I was around during a lot of the planning. It would all be very hush, my family and bridal party would never flaunt the fact. I posted this question to just see if it was possible or if other brides had done this. I understand it may be bad form if other guests knew and it was flaunted but that's definitely not what we're trying to do.

 

[NOMNOMNOMS]

Since the parents have invited friends without your consent maybe they'd be willing to cover the cost per head of their friends? That bothers me when people just invite others without consulting the people who are paying! How frustrating!

Is it possible that you could give some money to one of the parents and have him or her buy drinks for the evening, then just make it known to the bridal party that dad or mom will be buying drinks for the night?

Jilian- thanks for sympathizing with me ...my mom is on a tight budget after losing her second job and her hours being cut back (she works for the city) and was unable to help us at all...in order to avoid drama we allowed a few of her people to attend and still had to cut out a few. As for my father, he has put in a small donation to the wedding 2,000 to be exact but I did not know that came with strings attached aka extra guests, so basically that 2000 goes towards that. Then the grooms father has a alot of brothers and sisters. It was insisted that they all be invited even though DF has not spoken to alot of them in years. And of course you take into account their families. It's a snowball effect. Honestly all this wedding craziness has me at my wits end and the magic is disappearing. It's sad to feel this way 30 days before your big celebration. Good thing I eloped!

 

[sambycat]

given all the drama you've had to endure, i think i would personally do maybe hosted wine with dinner (per table or however they do that so the wait staff pours or whatever) and a cash liquor bar if you cannot not have mixed drinks. or else forego all the alcohol.

just make sure people know, and if you want to hand out money to friends or whatever, then go for it on the sly! or even price out like a champagne toast handed out deal for the cocktail time, that is a per person set charge, then have wine with dinner or wine or beer hosted if you can afford that?

 

[NOMNOMNOMS]

given all the drama you've had to endure, i think i would personally do maybe hosted wine with dinner (per table or however they do that so the wait staff pours or whatever) and a cash liquor bar if you cannot not have mixed drinks. or else forego all the alcohol.

just make sure people know, and if you want to hand out money to friends or whatever, then go for it on the sly! or even price out like a champagne toast handed out deal for the cocktail time, that is a per person set charge, then have wine with dinner or wine or beer hosted if you can afford that?

sambycat- great suggestions I'll have to ask the planner and research what the price difference would be. I'm not quite sure how the hosted wine goes where the waiter serves...i've actually never heard of that. Thanks for all of the options! Now time to study up!